In this episode, I share the turning point that reshaped my marriage and my sense of safety. What began as yet another financial deception escalated into a late-night confrontation in Tokyo—an event that revealed the depth of my husband’s lies and the extent of the trouble he had pulled our family into.From that moment, fear became a constant presence in my life. Instead of feeling supported by my partner, I found myself focused on avoiding the next crisis, questioning every decision, and doing whatever I could to keep my family afloat. This experience didn’t just fracture my trust—it changed who I was and how I moved through the world, and it became a key reason I stayed far longer than I should have.If you’ve ever wondered why someone remains in an abusive relationship, this episode offers a firsthand look at how fear, confusion, and misplaced responsibility can trap even the strongest person in place.If this episode resonated with you, please consider sharing it with someone who might need to hear it. You can leave a comment, rate the podcast, or reach out directly at gettingoutbrenda@gmail.com. Your support helps others feel less alone — and it helps this podcast reach those who need it most.Trigger warning: This episode includes discussion of psychological and financial abuse.#narcissisticabusesurvivor#financialabuseinmarriage#emotionalmanipulation#coercivecontrol#whyvictimsdontleave#survivinganabusiverelationship#divorceandabuse#lifeinJapan#traumaresponseandfear#gaslightinginrelationships#psychologicalabusestories#podcastaboutabuserecovery#survivingpartnersuicide#toxicrelationships#stayingforthekids
In this episode, I tell the story of the very first time I felt truly betrayed by my husband and the circumstances of our life at the time that prevented me from leaving. Please feel free to leave me comments here or send me an email at gettingoutbrenda@gmail.com.
In Part Two of this episode I discuss the first time my boundaries were really tested with my ex-husband, before he was my husband, and how that may have set the course for our entire relationship and marriage. Trigger warning for mentions of suicide and some adult language.Please feel free to leave your comments and questions here or e-mail me at gettingoutbrenda@gmail.com
In Part One of Episode 3, I begin to tell the story of how we met, and how I started to put aside my own needs and wants. The love bombing from my love interest, who I eventually married, seemed like the key to fulfilling my dream of getting married and settling down before I was "too old" and passed some arbitrary past due date that I had set for myself.Trigger warning for mentions of suicide and some adult language.Please feel free to leave your comments and questions here or e-mail me at gettingoutbrenda@gmail.com
Thank you for joining me again as I tell my story of how I got out of an abusive relationship with a man, who I believe is a narcissist, in a country that is not my own. In this episode, I tell a little bit about my upbringing, and how I became a people pleaser believing that was the only way to be loved. I truly believed, and to some degree I probably still believe, that no one could simply love me for me. If I wasn't doing my best to make those that I love happy, then I would never be worthy of their love. *Trigger warning - There is mention of suicide in this episode.
Hello and welcome to Getting Out From Under! I'm so happy to have you here! This episode explains why I started this podcast and what I hope to achieve by publishing a podcast. I am an American woman, who has been living in Japan nearly 30 years. I had a successful career and satisfying social life when I met the man I would marry nearly 20 years ago. I quit my job and moved across the country to be with him. We then had 4 beautiful children together. However, our relationship was not the flowers and rainbows it appeared to be on social media. I was subject to emotional and financial abuse that I didn't think I would ever be able to free myself from...but I did. I realized that for many, if not all, women (and men) in abusive relationships, shame plays a significant role in keeping us trapped in our situations. There is no shame in being abused. When we talk about our stories, we take back our power from our abusers. I hope my stories help other people in abusive situations gain the courage to share their stories and take back their power, and I hope that those with loved ones in abusive relationships gain some insight into how to provide help and support. *Disclaimer - I have no mental health training. I am not a mental health expert or professional. I am only sharing my own, personal story of abuse and what I learned from it.