If you've ever typed "am I bi" into a search bar at 2am, replayed every crush like courtroom evidence, or quietly made "exceptions" to the label you were using, this one's for you. Steve and Chad share real stories from the Give It To Me Bi community: wrong first labels, slow hindsight, dreams and crushes that didn't fit the boxes, and the moment "bisexual" finally became a word in someone's world. No checklist, no gatekeeping, no verdict required by the end of the episode. Just permission, patterns, and the company of people still figuring it out. Chapters00:00 — How do you actually know if you're bisexual?01:09 — BiLights07:47 — No single lightning bolt: wrong first labels & learning "bi" exists31:15 — Messy clues: media, dreams, crushes & social noise49:02 — Steve has questions about getting married54:44 — Labels under the bi+ umbrella: bi, pan, queer, questioning, none1:13:50 — What we wish someone had told us & the 11 positive aspects of bi identityRelated episodes:Ep 26 — How to be bisexual in a monogamous relationshipEp 27 — Coming out bisexual later in lifeEp 11 — Bisexuality Explained: Your Burning QuestionsEp 10 — Why Are Bisexual Men Still in Hiding in 2024?Ep 7 — Coming Out as Bisexual in 2024Links & ReadingWebsiteJoin the Give It To Me Bi communitySubscribe to the newsletterResearch: The positive aspects of a bisexual self-identificationGuide: 'How to Support Someone Who's Come Out as Bisexual' Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Coming out as bi+ doesn't come with a deadline.If you came out (or you're still coming out) at 30, 50, 70, or any age that didn't match the storybook teen-coming-out timeline, this episode is for you. We want this to be a big warm hug.Steve and Chad sit with the full range of what coming out later actually feels like. As Steve puts it on this episode, "all of these things can be true at once. It can be great, it can be amazing, it could be awful, it can be horrible, it can mean nothing, it can mean everything." Relief, panic, limbo, grief, pride, sometimes all in the same week.We talk about telling your spouse, family, and friends, why you don't owe everyone the same level of access to your identity, the AIB model and split attraction, the grief of paths not taken, and how we talk about the lives we did or didn't live.Out to a handful is still out. Later doesn't mean less. Forward this to whoever needs it.---🔗 Read this month's column at the Star Observer: "No Script For This" by Chad → https://tinyurl.com/ycynw88w📚 Resources mentioned in this episode:• Bisexual Killjoy podcast → https://www.bisexualkilljoy.com/• Star Observer on Leigh Ryswyk → https://tinyurl.com/5n8sb4c6🎧 If this one resonated, our back catalogue has more:• Ep 7 *Coming Out as Bisexual in 2024* — the baseline coming-out conversation• Ep 3 *Bisexual Visibility and Generational Shifts* — language and scripts shifting across decades• Ep 6 *Exploring Bisexual Relationships and Research* — relationship and research context🤝 Need to support someone who's coming out?We made a resource for that. Send it to whoever needs the leg up → https://tinyurl.com/msb7ppz6👯 Stay with us:• Follow / subscribe wherever you're listening so the next episode lands in your feed• Join the Give It To Me Bi community on Facebook → https://tinyurl.com/n5rpd4dc• Subscribe to the newsletter → https://tinyurl.com/45sfmamc• Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/giveittomebi/• Everything else lives at → https://tinyurl.com/852k48jeIf this episode hit something for you, forward it to one person who needs it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
We're back. Season 2 is here and we are straight into it. Well, not straight...This week we're tackling one of the most requested topics in the history of this show: how do you stay connected to your bi+ identity when you're in a monogamous relationship? And what does your partner actually need to know?Whether you've ever thought maybe I'm not bi enough because I'm in a relationship, or you're a partner trying to figure out how to show up, this one's for both of you.In this episode:Attraction, identity and relationship agreement are three completely different things. We use Robyn Ochs' definition of bisexuality to unpack why the "scorecard" question is the wrong question entirely — and who keeps asking for it.Mixed orientation relationships. What happens when one person in a relationship is bi+ and the other isn't, and why the unspoken agreement is almost always the most dangerous one.For the partner listening. Your bi+ person isn't afraid of you. They're afraid of everything the world has told you about them. There's a difference and it matters.The research is clear. Partner acceptance doesn't just make bi+ people feel better. It makes relationships better. We get into why.Chad's personal story. Coming out to his late partner Heidi mid-relationship — the rupture it created, the conversations that followed, and how it became one of the greatest joys of his life.And more!Monogamy does not cancel bisexuality. Non-monogamy does not prove it.Links:Join the Give It To Me Bi communityFollow us on InstagramStar Observer columnGive It To Me Bi acknowledges that we live and work on Gadigal land. We pay our respects to elders past and present. Sovereignty was never ceded. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
We’re busting more bi+ myths with clear, practical answers: identity vs politics, the “prove it” trap, couples seeking women on apps, ageing and labels, and why health gaps are about stigma—not sexuality. Plus Rainbow Election Forum takeaways, Qtopia’s Sydney Pride Fest news, and a moving tribute to Heidi.KEY TAKEAWAYS- You don’t owe anyone a dating résumé. Your identity isn’t up for audit.- “Queer” can feel political; “bisexual” can be a simple description—both are valid.- App dynamics are shaped by culture and numbers—don’t scapegoat bi+ people.- Bisexuality doesn’t disappear with age; safety, language, and context shift.- Bi mental-health gaps are driven by stigma and minority stress, not by being bi.CHAPTERS- Opening Thanks & Community Care- Rainbow Election Forum: Wins and Gaps- Qtopia Sydney Pride Fest: What’s Coming- Star Observer: Why We Show Up- Myth: “Bi Needs to Be Political”- Myth: “You Must Prove Your Bi-ness”- Myth: “Couples Only Seek Women on Apps”- Ageing and Labels: What Actually Changes- Bi Health: Stigma vs Sexuality- Closing Notes + TributeRESOURCES MENTIONED- Rainbow Election Forum — Community Q&A with political leaders — https://equalityaustralia.org.au/our-work/rainbow-votes/- Health Equity Matters — https://www.healthequitymatters.org.au/- Qtopia Sydney Pride Fest — Festival mentioned — https://qtopiasydney.com.au/pride-fest-2025/- Star Observer — Monthly column — https://www.starobserver.com.au/category/give-it-to-me-biJoin the mailing list: https://tinyurl.com/3hzyj3ztJoin the online community: https://tinyurl.com/49kt66cmReview on Apple | Review on SpotifyMEMORABLE QUOTES“You don’t have to prove anything to anyone.” — Host“There’s no one correct way to be bi.” — Host“It’s stigma—not sexuality—that harms our health.” — HostCREDITSHosted by Steve Spencer and Chad Barnier.Audio Production and Editing by Chad Barnier.Podcast artwork by Chad Barnier.CONTENT NOTEThis podcast often discusses themes of mental and physical health, suicide, minority stress, and politics.TRANSCRIPT NOTETranscripts are auto-generated—apologies for any inaccuracies.#bisexual #bisexuality #biplus #bi+ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF COUNTRYGive It To Me Bi acknowledge that we live and work on Gadigal Land. We acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of this land and pay our respects to Elders past and present. Sovereignty was never ceded. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
📝 Episode SummaryIn this episode of Give It To Me Bi, Chad and Steve tackle the intersections of bisexuality and physical health, unpacking the unique disparities Bi+ folks face in health systems, studies, and lived experience. From breaking down minority stress and the AIB (Attraction, Identity, Behaviour) model to candid chats about disability, health journeys, and everything in between—this episode is a blend of research-backed insight and heartfelt personal stories. PLUS, a major announcement: the very first Give It To Me Bi Live Show is happening this June for Pride Month at Qtopia Sydney—and you're invited.🔑 Key Points / HighlightsBisexuals & Health Gaps: Why bisexual individuals face unique physical health risks—including earlier onset disability and chronic illness.The AIB Model: Breaking down why attraction, identity, and behaviour all matter—and how research often fails us.Internalised Ableism & Productivity Guilt: Chad and Steve get real about disability, chronic illness, and the societal shame around “doing less.”What Actually Helps: From electrolyte trauma to walking with purpose—realistic, body-positive tips for health without shame.Live Show Reveal! We’re kicking off Pride Month at Qtopia Sydney with our first-ever live podcast taping AND a bonus community panel night.🎟️ Big Bi Night — Live at Qtopia Sydney🗓️ Mon 2 June 2025 | Get TicketsJoin us for Give It To Me Bi: LIVE!, our first-ever live show and a powerful all-star Bi+ panel.📚 Resources & Links👉 How to Support Someone Who Has Recently Come Out as BisexualStudies:Dyar et al. (2019). Physical Health Disparities Across Dimensions of Sexual Orientation, Race/Ethnicity, and Sex: Evidence for Increased Risk Among Bisexual Adults. Archives of sexual behavior, 48(1), 225–242. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-018-1169-8Fredriksen-Goldsen et al. (2012). Disability among lesbian, gay, and bisexual adults: disparities in prevalence and risk. American journal of public health, 102(1), e16–e21. https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.2011.300379Taylor et al. (2019). Bisexual mental health: Findings from the 'Who I Am' study. Australian journal of general practice, 48(3), 138–144. https://doi.org/10.31128/AJGP-06-18-4615💬 Join the CommunityInstagram, TikTok, ThreadsPrivate GroupNewsletter💜 Call to ActionSubscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen.Leave a Review to help new folks discover the pod.Share this episode with someone who's navigating their health or identity journey. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.