Going Terribly

Imagine the most adult children you know – discussing the environmental impact of menstruation cups one minute and making poop jokes the next. That’s Doug and that’s Alice. Two friends who decided to Always Be Recording. He’s a filmmaker, and she’s a college English professor. Their chemistry is accidental. And so is this auditory compendium of their verbal musings. You are invited to join their lighthearted conversational romps through all of life's absurdities.

Ep. 216: Two Boob Plates in a Bathroom Horror Story

Doug is back! And he brought most of his voice with him! But, most importantly, Alice just had her first mammogram. And, number two* in importance, today is World Toilet Day. So enjoy plenty of scatological goodness. Other discussion topics may include: - Can you overdose on Theraflu? - Better band name: The Horizontal Shelf or A Ketchup Bidet? - A heckuva Donald Duck pooping impression - Plungers hanging from the ceiling - An entire lasagna *heh

11-19
54:53

Ep. 215: Two Feuding Sisters in a Grilling Boudoir Photo

Doug has fallen ill, but Going Terribly wasn't about to miss a week. So, for the first time ever, there's a guest host! Naem Madi is on board to help out while offering his own twist of fun with the musical "Naem That Tune." Meanwhile, Alice offers insights on Hollywood celebrity family feuds (not of the Steve Harvey variety) and Hemingway/Bible/colon connections. But Doug does offer a couple of notes from the grave. Er, sidelines. So you won't be completely free of him. Other discussion topics may include: - Who is Bella Thorne to you? - The downside to snakeskin soap - Have you forgotten about Dre? - Would you rather win one fewer Oscar than your sister or just go ahead and die? - Ryan Gosling wasn't available

11-12
34:44

Ep. 214: Two Thrown Away Votes in an Unnecessary Book Report

This Sunday is Alice's birthday! With Alice hitting the big 4-0, Doug digs up a bunch of stuff from Alice's birth year that might make her and Steve Guttenberg feel a little old. Like Who's the Boss and Depends. Doug presents a couple of games and even tries his hand at Alice's most popular segment. Other discussion topics may include: - The disappointment that spinal taps aren't as serious or dangerous as they sound - Purse Suer vs. Purse Sewer - which is the worse pun? - The 1984 hit Seinfeld movie - It Takes Two: Electric Boogaloo - Lots and lots of quantum stuff. Or not. Better grab a pocket calculator just in case.

11-05
53:27

Ep. 213: Three Tapeworm Ghosts in a Spoopy Sex Cruise Story

Happy Halloween! Alice and Doug invite Kevin Roach to the show for his annual Halloween episode. This year they debate which horror movie villains they'd bed (spoiler: The Predator has some sexy abs) and recite a brand new scary story. They also discuss the merits of a travel bidet (or two!) and wonder if Pat Morita could have convincingly played a small town sheriff. Other discussion topics may include: - The dark side of Dr. Seuss - Auntie Lee's Meat Pies - When on a vibrating boat, are you more likely to poop yourself, orgasm, or gently fall asleep? - That time Hitler unwittingly left some DNA in a sausage mixer - Honestly, more routine cannibalism talk than should be comfortable

10-29
01:25:39

Ep. 212: Two Feuding Hollywood Sisters in a Butt Update

This week Alice leaves her scheduled colonoscopy up to a Facebook vote while Doug scours app stores for strange Fitbit alternatives. This is adulting in 2024. Other discussion topics may include: - Why isn't there a play or musical based on the 1987 cinematic classic Mannequin? - Maybe a little too much Enrique - Are you wealthy enough to afford cameras in your medication? - All the things about Ernest Hemingway that rose...and didn't. - It's Mrs. Shen's birthday!!!

10-22
45:54

Ep. 211: Two Spudges™ in a Requiem for a Ream

Alice has a colonoscopy coming up. Somehow this isn't the first topic she and Doug discuss. But once they get on her butt, boy, does it prove difficult to get off. Other discussion topics may include: - Completely unrelated Tummy Trouble - Turkey Testicle Festical - Would you trust a biology teacher/realtor to perform routine surgeries in your home? - Attempting to hold friends hostage using really comfortable furniture - Steroids might get a bad rep, but goodness, do they make your face skin lovely.

10-15
48:29

Ep. 210: Two Disappointing Elephant Ears in an Unexpected Street Festival

Could you imagine if today were Julia Roberts's birthday?! It's not, but could you just IMAGINE?!?! Elsewhere in this week's episode, Doug and Alice just got back from St. Louis (and TO the future!), and now they're ready to find some fowl balls or other unusual body parts to devour at the West Side Nut (heh) Club Fall Festival. Other discussion topics may include: - Keep ketchup off your hot dogs - What do you do once you've tried every flavor of every brand of sparkling water? Is it just over now? - Near universal praise for Costco...except for a troubling recent move in their chicken packaging - Jame Doody Dench - Revisiting the time certain adult toys may have been lost in a matter of national security

10-08
49:40

Ep. 209: Two Booty Shots in a Case of Light Taiwanese Insurance Fraud

September's over, so wake up and join Doug and Alice as they consider alternate Barry Manilow fandom names, question their new home's bathroom setup, and, most importantly, celebrate a special 100th birthday. Plus why does the international market have so many cooler RC products than we do? Other discussion topics may include: - A nostalgic start to a life long love affair with cheese curds - Dropping your drawers in a grocery store - Supper bullying - The Sound of Music vs. West Side Story - How's your classic movie trivia? - Relentlessly trying to get noticed by well endowed people

10-01
49:18

Ep. 208: Two HoMEOWners in a Trip Down a Rabid Hole

Doug and Alice have been doing a lot of burying of ledes lately, and it's time for all the news to finally come out. Major life changes have occurred. Are they shrouded in murder or in tradition? There's only one way to find out.* Other discussion topics may include: - Life is a lot more bearable when you picture all your finances in board game money - A celebration of Eckerty, Indiana, if it does indeed exist - Your garage and bathroom don't need TVs, but wouldn't it be cool? - How to rid your own cabbage patch of those darn babies - Pleasantville, Stepford, or Get Out - what's your ideal neighborhood? *Okay, we suppose a second way could be to watch for arrest reports, but you're slightly more likely to get some bathroom talk here.

09-24
43:22

Ep. 207: Two Creepy, Yet Kinda Romantic Pickup lines in a 9-Stool Root Beer Stand

Alice teaches us about the differences between Chinese language and symbols, as well as differences in sign languages between countries, including accents! Meanwhile, Doug makes a joke about Mario's penis. Other discussion topics may include: - A literally childish alien obsession - Is there anyone who uses a letter as a first name who isn't successful? - A computer literally tries to take over the episode (it's happening) - How smarmy are you allowed to be when narrating a corny joke book? - Happy birthday to the U.S. Constitution...for better or worse.

09-17
44:23

Ep. 206: Two Thick Ass Thieves in a Hollow Masterpiece

It's a Great Day with Doug, even if by force. Enjoy a trio of film directors' birthdays, some great news regarding Alice's band, and Doug gushing about his favorite musician. And even Barry Manilow. Other discussion topics may include: - The Sound of Music meets West Side Story in a battle to the death - Try to name a non-sweet food that wouldn't be great on mashed potatoes. You can't. - Should Quentin Tarantino write a musical? - The phrase "milk ejection time" is used, so you probably want to get to the bottom of that. - You know you've made it as a band when Rotel dip is your opening act

09-10
46:47

Ep. 205: Two San Diego Periodontists in a Cool, Dark, Dry Place

Alice has been a bonehead again. Doug almost had a tree crash down on his. It went terribly lately, but they're still hanging in there. They just can't pronounce anything correctly. You'll see. Other discussion topics may include: - Why Rick Moranis retired from acting - Buttery salty fingies at the furniture store - How to brush your teeth. Or maybe how not to. It's really up in the air. - Storing things in your prickly ash - One of Dr. Pepper's 23 flavors might be tomato, and that's enough to give up on the world, isn't it?

09-03
46:40

Ep. 204: Two Roadside Giraffes in a Quest to Acquire Lost Dignity

It's time to generate some random topics! Just what have Doug and Alice been breaking and losing lately? Besides hearts and farts, of course. Find out in this butt flap vibrating episode. Start your engines and form your nethers. And watch out for shatnel. It's Going Terribly. Other discussion topics may include: - Delivery robots who demand to be taken seriously - Have you heard women can both own land AND vote now? Progress is being made, folks. - Costco samples vs. outright theft - What's something commonly do today that you think people will wonder why anyone would ever do that fifty years from now? - The Physics of Pharts

08-27
44:12

Ep. 203: Two Small Herzegovinas in a Cream Cheese Downpour

Alice and Doug recently returned from St. Louis. There was art, food, shopping, and, of course, IKEA. Now they're back to tell you all about it while also touching on scrambled pancakes and the difference between anuses and rectums. Other discussion topics may include: - Stale corn nuts and the palpating innards that accompany them - Controversial ice cream jokes - Which is the worse kind of nursery - a plant store or a baby store? - Bacon Medusa - The sickest Bosnian coffee jingle you're likely to hear all day

08-20
48:49

Ep. 202: Two Brown Chickens and/or Cows in a Pistachio Ice Cream Lawsuit

It's time to take a trip down to New Yum City! Doug and Alice discuss recent and upcoming tasty (and/or really weird) treats. Honestly, why do other countries' McDonalds and KFCs have such amazing menu items? Step it up, America! Other discussion topics may include: - Caramel, gyro, and other relationship threatening words - Why don't we drink any animal's milk other than cows? - Powder filled chips and candies - School anxiety dreams - BIRTHDAY CAKE FLAVORED THINGS ARE A HORRIBLE LIE

08-13
50:55

Ep. 201: Two Spicy Pho King Cousins in a Furniture Store Date Night

Did the pied piper murder a bunch of children? Have you ever rubbed emu parts on yourself? And just what *did* Daniel Radcliffe do to that horse? Find these answers and more in this highly educational episode. Other discussion topics may include: - The disappearance of Amelia Earhart and Jim Liverballs - Sinning in the Rain - The dichotomy of watching Olympic gold medalists while absolutely pulverizing a pizza buffet - If you want cockroaches in your sparkling water, prepare to be disappointed - Yes, the "Big Unit" situation is addressed

08-06
52:36

Ep. 200: Three Bulletproof Boy Scouts in a History Making Episode!

Years in the making, it's the 200th episode of Going Terribly! For the first time ever, Alice and Doug are joined by special guest Laura D'Alto! The trio then spend the next hour and a half mostly discussing poop. Listen, what else do you want? Along the way, Laura does class it up with talk of K-pop concerts, World War II musicals, and an obvious love for her job and her family. But when left to their own devices, Alice and Doug drag it straight back to poop. You'll love it. Other discussion topics may include: - How a hot dog a day can keep the Grim Reaper away - Shows that Going Terribly is already better than, and others that will soon be conquered - Fluffernutters, but different - Would a competitive eater having two stomachs be considered cheating? - Getting ghosted by Jesus

07-30
01:27:50

Ep. 199: Three Toms, Fricks, and/or Harrys in a Big Train

Want to please your man? Write him a lovely haiku, And spit on that thang. This week Alice and Doug welcome acclaimed poet/umpire/pirate/babe sketcher Nick "Frick" Wentzel. Games are played. Games that, someday, could just supplant baseball as America's past time. Time will tell. Other discussion topics may include: - What is your lick potential? - How to be judge, jury, and executioner of small children - Dame Judi Dench has still got it going on, and don't you let anyone tell you otherwise - What's your favorite poop themed cereal? - Just what in the world did birthday boy Daniel Radcliffe do to that horse?!?

07-23
01:19:18

Ep. 198: Two Hidden Seeds in a Mushy Angry Girl Pie

Wasn't there something we were supposed to talk about this week? I can't remember... Other discussion topics may include: - GAME OF CONES V: Indiana Cones and the Swirl of Density - Gulf War cannibalism...technically - Music that makes you want to go home - Why your 4-year old is dumber than some birds - Celebrating the emus who sacrifice their lives so you can soothe your bug bites

07-16
45:26

Ep. 197: Two Creative Ice Cream Flavors in an Electric Murder

There's allegedly time travel. There's supposedly quality poetry. There's definitely ball sweat scented things. But what's most important is THERE ARE STILL NO FRIGGIN BIRDS!!! Other discussion topics may include: - A celebration of crime murder game persons - Who needs zippers when you can just sew everything shut? - Hot take: Virginia Vietnamese food just isn't as good as Indiana Vietnamese food - Is origami paper size too big for a quality cheese cracker? - A taboo celebration of eating ash

07-09
38:58

Recommend Channels