Good Children

Get even more personal with us with bonus episodes every Friday on Patreon! The boys discuss the summer going into 8th grade when they both signed up for football camp at Joe's future Catholic high school. After a day of trying their best to fit in, they uncover a dark secret about North Korea. Also: is it up to Good Children to save the Dippin' Dots Dynasty? 

Get even more personal with us with bonus episodes every Friday on Patreon! Let's take it back to April: Through The Years. The boys discuss important April pop cultural anniversaries including movies like The Hannah Montana Movie and Ella Enchanted and music like Taylor Swift, 

Get even more personal with us with bonus episodes every Friday on Patreon! This week join us on a retrospective through the hairy times of puberty and all that comes after it. from pube-plucking to eyebrow threading to back waxing. Plus, take a field trip with us to Alivio Wellness!  If you want to take ownership of your health, it starts with AG1. Try AG1 and get a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D3K2 AND 5 free AG1 Travel Packs with your first purchase at drinkAG1.com/GOODCHILDREN. Head to FACTORMEALS.com/GOODCHILDREN50 and use code GOODCHILDREN50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next box!

Get even more personal with us with bonus episodes every Friday on Patreon! This week, the boys put on their professor hats and answer their own early-20s question: "Why Don't I Fit In With Gays?" Let's get deeply introspective about the plight of the newly-out gay man and all of the trauma, insecurities, and fears that go along with it. 

Get even more personal with us with bonus episodes every Friday on Patreon! Prepare to have your bones chilled as Andrew tells what he believes is a fun and silly story about his study abroad experience in our favorite country: Australia.

This week we let the listeners behind the microphones for a riveting Q&A running the mental and emotional gamut of the human experience. [Video will be returning to Spotify soon-- until then, all episodes are on YouTube!] ⁠Subscribe to Patreon for a bonus episode every single Friday!

Subscribe to our Patreon for a new episode every single Friday! (This week we're taking you on an extended trip to the cafeteria)! Head to FACTORMEALS.com/GOODCHILDREN50 and use code GOODCHILDREN50 to get 50% off pre-prepared chef-crafted and dietician-approved meals delivered right to your door. Let's celebrate the rich cultural history of Ireland. From bagpipes to beer to Academy Award nominated actresses, and a chilling true story of Andrew's lessons in bagpipes this episode covers some of the most necessary facets of St. Patrick's Day. PLUS: learn to make a Shamrock Shake at home with us!

Join us on Patreon for a new episode every week! Embrace the most embarrassing moments of your entire life with special guests and iconic sister duo Drew & Deison Afualo! From falling at your band concert to collapsing in front of kickline to Peeta Mellark drag to getting hit by a car, you are genuinely guaranteed to laugh out loud multiple times in this very special episode! Thank you so much to Spotify Studios for letting us shoot in your beautiful space!

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR PATREON FOR A BONUS EPISODE EVERY FRIDAY! This week the boys bring it back to the basics with a manic conversation on extracurricular activities. Enjoy a trip back to high school and all the trauma that comes along with it: from lacrosse locker rooms to DECA meetings.

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR PATREON FOR A BONUS EPISODE EVERY FRIDAY! Head to FACTORMEALS.com/GOODCHILDREN50 and use code GOODCHILDREN50 to get 50% off pre-prepared chef-crafted and dietician-approved meals delivered right to your door.  This week the boys have their most important discussion yet: ranking (sugary sweet) breakfast cereals. Join them on a journey to the center of the Cheerio with twists at every corner: buffet horror stories, an edible at Anything Goes, and the death of Sea World.

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR PATREON FOR A BONUS EPISODE EVERY FRIDAY! This week the boys take a trip down memory lane to their very recent respective quarter-life crises. Whether you're selling international travel during a pandemic or editing videos for supermodels, there's always time to turn a new page and start a new chapter. So pull up your salmon pants and dive deep into the Curio Shop of life with us!

Join us on Patreon for a bonus episode every single Friday! Gear up for Valentine's Day with the only Valentines you need this year: your favorite podcast duo. This week, the boys discuss the season of love, curbing your dog, Carrabba's Italian Grill, and the deeply isolating experience of a queer childhood. PLUS: A walking tour of Massapequa Park and a chance to join Andrew on the worst Valentine's Day in history!

SUBSCRIBE TO OUR PATREON FOR A BONUS EPISODE EVERY FRIDAY! Break out your burn books because this week the boys are taking you to Northshore High for a look back on all things Mean Girls (gender neutral). From the classic film that shaped American history to the movie musical that's shaping TikTok discourse to the random kids in high school that permanently shaped how we see ourselves, this episode runs the mean girl gamut.

⁠BONUS EPISODE EVERY FRIDAY ON PATREON! Today's episode is NOT FOR OUR MOMS!!! Let's talk the myths and lore and facts and fiction about gay sex. Everything from douching in public bathrooms to shoving water bottles down our throats at the lunch table in high school.

⁠BONUS EPISODE EVERY FRIDAY ON PATREON! Who would win The Hunger Games? Who would win a figure skating competition? Who would die in a Shakespearean drama? All these questions and more are addressed in our first truly miscellaneous episode.

BONUS EPISODE EVERY FRIDAY ON PATREON! Well it's over. Let's discuss our favorite parts of the past year, the most popular resolutions, and some of our biggest regrets.

Subscribe to Patreon ⁠⁠for a brand new bonus episode every Friday and access to our community chat! After an agonizing three weeks of terrifying our beautiful good children with prosthetics and beating any subject relating to Christmas to an absolute pulp, the boys go for one last ride as Cindy Lou Who and Mayor Augustus Maywho. On this episode, they discuss their favorite things from the past year and try relentlessly not to sound like they're doing sponcon. Does Andrew eat a chocolate bar a week? Are Stanley Cups conservative-coded? Is Joe hotter as a Who? (Don't answer that).

Subscribe to Patreon ⁠⁠for a brand new bonus episode every Friday and access to our community chat! The boys try to stay on theme this week by talking about TLC original series, but start with Lifetime original Dance Moms and then just decide to start telling random stories, INCLUDING: Joe almost getting stabbed (again) in 7th grade, Andrew's personal trainer quitting on him (again) in 10th grade, the (not-so) secret romance between Elvis-loving nuns, and more.

Subscribe to Patreon ⁠⁠for a brand new bonus episode every Friday and access to our community chat! JUMPSCARE! The boys are back for a very special episode of the podcast featuring YOU! After watching Andrew DIY his costume and a lively discussion about their own Santa Claus journey's let's take a few calls from our listeners on the Nice List this year about the moment their creepy little polar express bell stopped ringing. PLUS: A disastrous Wendy's experience, a special guest appearance by Amanda, and more.

Subscribe to Patreon ⁠⁠for a brand new bonus episode every Friday and access to our community chat! The boys set the holiday season off on the right foot by discussing some of their favorite Christmas classics, with a special attention to detail on Home Alone. PLUS: A peak into the archive for a very special iJoe holiday special, a life-changing trip to Wendy's, and more.