Hannah, You're Yelling

In this episode of Hannah, You’re Yelling the girls start by catching up on each other’s personal lives and occupations. They’ve somehow both found themselves working with children and loving it??? Next, they congratulate Hannah on a fully developed frontal lobe and share a recent experience where Hannah finds herself within one foot of a “knife fight” (you guessed it, it has to do with men’s emotions). Much to your surprise this is also a research episode which means Hannah gets to share with you some fucked up dollhouse murder lore that perfectly intertwines Hannah’s love of miniatures with the other Hannah’s love of grotesque death scenes. This episode is fun for all ages, whether you love very small coffee pots with no realistic use or the occasional unsolved case of a family’s murder suicide- this is the place for you.

This episode is exactly what to expect of a chatty Thursday. It is as if you sat next to them at a bar and eaves dropped for 40 minutes. Hannah shares how she got fired from her chop shop, the beauty of work friendships, and the sadness of putting a work uniform suit and tie in a trash bag. The other Hannah shares her trials and tribulations of being unable to burp for her entire life and the light at the end of the tunnel she has found in the one man who offers botox relief in Chicago. Yes, this is a niche listen but that is why you're here. Hannah also shares some of her upcoming travels, unfortunately, enforced by the military and the other Hannah shares her new found appreciation for Dave Matthews. Get to listening!

The opening is strong: the hosts react to a first time reading of listeners embarrassing stories including (but not limited to) virginity lost on a school lunch break. On a sharp pivot, they dive into America’s most confusing Billboard: Shen Yun, 5000 Years of Civilization Reborn. You know it, you’ve seen it, but Hannah will assure you never looking at a Shen Yun ad the same. The girls discuss religious-political propaganda, debate the constitution of a cult, and make a striking comparison of the dance group to modern day evangelicals. https://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/stepping-into-the-uncanny-unsettling-world-of-shen-yun

In this episode of Hannah You're Yelling the girls share their take on Cancel Culture. Hannah shares where it comes from, why we do it, and what getting canceled does to your emotional wellbeing. They talk about their own fears of getting cancelled and the worst kink you could ever have. Hannah touches on how politics play a role in cancel culture and how Twitter is the bitch that takes everyone down. They wrestle with the moral implications of holding someone accountable through the use of a hashtag and then relive a very fucked up event from private Christian school. They share a few case studies of public cancelations and then end with a conversation on authenticity. Get to listening! Sources: https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/2021/05/19/americans-and-cancel-culture-where-some-see-calls-for-accountability-others-see-censorship-punishment/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cancel_culture https://www.verywellmind.com/the-mental-health-effects-of-cancel-culture-5119201 You're Wrong About Podcast: Cancel Culture

In this episode of Hannah You’re Yelling the girls talk about what it really takes to empower your pelvis. Whether its extensive pelvic floor therapy, working on your confidence, or just plane old butt stuff- they’re doing it. Hannah goes on to share some bummer pregnancy ER stories from her girl boss era and then seamlessly transition into how we look like beans in the womb. They share the story of their recent drunkin afternoon spent with their moms in Colorado and how it ended with the very passionate retelling of Hannah’s conception. The girls then engage in a very serious conversation about the analog clock and how they have hit their breaking point with geographical awareness. They urge others to stop bullying people who can’t read clocks and can’t get home without google maps (neither of which they struggle with, obviously), and then share some recent stress dreams which tie in perfectly to their geographical shortcomings. This episode is chatty, intimate, and all over the place. Get to listening.  

It’s Chatty Thursday, anything can happen. Listen in to hear the girls talk wedding planning, pregnancy predictions, the trials and tribulations of “Ballet Core,” and yes, the Baja Blast Vajacial. They won’t let you down. And if they do, they do it gently.

In this episode, Hannah covers the in-depth and unbelievably unethical U.S. Syphilis Experiment. They hit everything from STDs to medical ethics and systematic racism in just under 45 minutes and somehow still have room for a very intimate conversation about pelvic floor therapy. The girls hash out the traumatic symptoms of syphilis with a personal anecdote regarding scanning balls for testicular cancer. They talk about Bill Clinton's YouTube-scandal-esqu-apology and the ripple of medical injustice in the healthcare system. Despite all of this, the episode still manages to be funny and egregiously inappropriate with even more oversharing than you're used to. The girls end with a vow to take care of their genitals and an encouragement of others to do the same. This is the first informative episode of the year, and it may be their last.  SOURCES  https://www.cdc.gov/tuskegee/index.html https://www.plannedparenthood.org/blog/what-is-the-tuskegee-study https://www.britannica.com/event/Tuskegee-syphilis-study

Did you really think they’d off and leave you like that? Don’t let your abandonment issues make you think this rejection therapy exercise they’re doing would be over anytime soon. This episode is the catch-up everyone has been on the edge of their little seats for. Hannah got ENGAGED, other Hannah QUIT HER JOB?! 2023 let’s get it CHURNING! Let’s light this candle, baby. 

This rendition of Chatty Thursday brings us family business controversy, sauteed spinach, side pieces, and the most pressing question “How do you want to be remembered when you’re gone?” (and a debate over whether it's totally narcissistic to force people to do things for you after you die). Expect the unexpected. There’s also a very long conversation about raw meat. I know you aren’t even reading this because you already pressed play.  YouTube Playlist:  https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_WGxWryVLlTW2aPbKzFJYlIS8QmAyZm4

Buckle in for the deep dark history of American Evangelical Virginity. A construct void of consent education, logic, and biblical reason; the girls teach you how purity culture was a federally funded ploy to combat the AIDS crisis and continue the white race. They talk about all the myths we were taught in sunday school and how we somehow ended up with beliefs about pap smears breaking your hymen and the sinlessness of anal sex. If you too read I Kissed Dating Goodbye you are entitled to financial compensation.  Give Me Sex, Jesus (Vimeo) https://vimeo.com/137784146 Virgin Nation By Sara Moslener https://www.google.com/books/edition/Virgin_Nation/HiqaCAAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=0 Queering the Virgin https://journals.openedition.org/ejas/11818 I Kissed Dating Goodbye Documentary https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBqPkIXtblw Broken Promises: Abstinence Pledging and Sexual and Reproductive Health https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jomf.12279

And just like that their 2022 New Year's Resolution has been accomplished. The girls rejoice in the final episode of the year. A year marked by many accidentally deleted episodes, fairly offensive humor, and a whirlwind of imperfect, yet very consistent, content. They share their gratitude for the many new friends they have met and the beautiful messages they have received from dare they say “fans????”. The listeners have seen them through moments of sobriety, a few life altering realizations, and a whole hell of a lot of birth control. They are both mortified and thankful for the time capsule that this year's podcast has become. They share their hopes for the future and their plans for the New Year but overall this episode is one big thank you. Happy New Year bitchessssss

The sun is going down at 5pm and the girls are in their hibernation era (at least they are trying to be). In this episode they will give you every idea you need to make it through this winter. Whether it's a drunk closet clean out, watching 2009 YouTube scandals, or making a garlic and onion potpourri, the Hannah’s will come out of this winter with the will to live. What’s more, they explain what a third space is, absolutely butcher the pronunciation of Le Creuset, and unpack their need to digitally hoard their old texts from high school flings. Turn on some ambient lighting and get ready to romanticize the fuck out of these next few months.

Welcome back to the shitshow where Hannah finally got to go to the doctor after five years, discusses putting in a NuvaRing live on Zoom, and talks body negativity in light of the Skims era. They touch on fear, sadness, a crippling addiction to working as a waitress, and end by outing a secret Hannah kept until she graduated high school. This episode is about feeling alive in your follicular phase, panic-stricken by the boogie man, disgusted by your own need for male attention, and downright depressed but finally getting on medication for it.

What starts as a recap of their front yard pop-up quickly diverts into something not at all similar: soap. In one way, this episode is just about Dr. Bronner. That magical 18-1 soap with the long ass label you see in your local Whole Foods. In another way, its about how an innocent peppermint soap that feels nice on the balls is actually associated with multiple crucifixions, a near lobotomy, unhinged family drama, and free ketamine therapy. You will leave this episode having learned cleanliness is indeed godliness and how yes, even body wash can have culty connections. Although clarification is not at all necessary, this is not associated with or sponsored by Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soaps. Youtube documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXK9GxCSvEM  Other sources:  https://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/lifestyle/people/sdut-dr-bronners-finds-balance-2015jan29-story.html  https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/5/8/18535403/dr-bronners-soap-label-castile  https://www.drbronner.com/blogs/ourselves/the-dr-bronners-story   

Consider this the Hannah You’re Yelling Christmas Special. The girls discuss the basic truths of the season, like how we have yet to see a historically accurate nativity set, how impractical it is to have Christmas traditions span multiple divorces, and the absolute chokehold that O Holy Night has on these atheist podcast hosts. Not only does Hannah comes to terms with her participation in a cult activity but she reckons with the trauma of her family’s strictly philanthropic Christmas. Religion or not, we all know the most important thing this Christmas will be those little nick nacks we put under the tree. And oh come all ye faithful, do they have the gift guide for you.  Merry Freakin Christmas, girls. 

In this episode the girls talk gratitude. They touch on when love has conditions, thankfulness being deeply associated with a religious past, and being forced to say your "highs" and "lows" at the mercy of a stepparent organized family function. Needless to say, gratitude hasn't been optional for most of their upbringing, but after a few Brene Brown Ted Talks they are here to enforce their newfound gratitude practice upon their loyal following (you). They find thankfulness has both the ability to be enragingly annoying and absolutely necessary to their mental health, kind of like this podcast.  A Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

It’s Thursday again and Hannah just figured out she’s still paying for an audio porn membership she forgot she signed up for two years ago. Press play to commiserate with your favorite gal pals as they scream cry over the NYC marathon, talk through their internalized anti-liberalism, and find Hannah’s old blog she was writing for her non-existent daughter. What they hope is that in their lifetime one of two things will happen - we will see universal healthcare become a reality, or you will be able to in some way (even slightly) relate to their very niche and very relentless podcast. Until next Thursday, when we can only pray for some semblance of a theme. 

In this episode, the girls talk about life in their 20’s (a prime example of the blind leading the blind.) They’re lost, they’re confused, they’re fucking up their IRS deadlines, and they’re scared shitless. Despite, they share the things that have helped them most; like choosing your own family, setting up boundaries (gag), and the importance of trying tap dancing despite the mortal embarrassment of it all. Great advice, as you know, always comes from two preachy, very unqualified, self-proclaimed know-it-alls who have BARELY made it halfway through this decade, so you know it's going to be funny. Anyway, here they are once again getting vulnerable for views. At least they’ve figured out that in your 20s no one has the answers, and that type of chaos is comforting.

This week the girls have on none other than the self proclaimed swaggy lesbian (Lauren Girkbudok) to give them advice on navigating their twenties. They talk, finding your niche, finding your clitoris (just kidding, almost), and most importantly, finding your goddamn self. While this is technically a podcast episode, don’t expect structure. Expect vibes.

In this episode the girls take on something that is not so often shared in the space of womanhood. With much thought, many sleepless nights, and endless conversations with one another they decide to finally break their silence on their desire to be childfree (not childless). They talk about the ethics of child bearing in a world with insurmountable pressures, misogyny, and severe climate issues, while also somehow trying to make it an enjoyable girls chat. They talk about how  “breaking the cycle” has the same energy as living vicariously through your kids and the insane responsibility it is to bring a child into the universe without their consent. They share their own experiences with parental responsibility and get really fucking real about not needing to be a mom to be a good woman. They talk about the fear of losing your entire identity in motherhood, your career, your name, and your life as you know it while also being just as scared to spend Christmas alone when you’re 60. They talk about the unadulterated biological compulsion they have for bringing a child into the world and how some might just call that ovulation. This episode is about wanting to do the right thing, wanting to be a good mom, wanting to never be a mom, and wanting to make space to talk about all of it. Fair warning, they don’t come to any conclusions. Enjoy.