Hashtag Authentic - for creatives, dreamers & business owners online

I first met deep-dive master coach Katie Pulsifer when she was my instructor for certification at The Life Coach School. I recall being pretty intimidated. I’ve never been sky-diving or tried a bungee jump, but I’m pretty sure the adrenaline rush is comparable to coaching in front of Katie for immediate feedback in front of a group. 🪂Katie’s recently gone solo, after many years working for a large coaching school, and as we caught up over Zoom I was struck by how her open, beginner’s mindset to social media is bringing so much ease and fun to her work. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all recapture a little bit of that early magic when we’re showing up on the internet?I asked Katie to come on the podcast to tell us more.Things we talk about in this episode:* How Katie found her niche and why it resonates with her deeply* Building a values-led business, and being ok with not doing things like everybody else* The mindset shift and learning curve in switching from employee to entrepreneur* Using Instagram, Facebook, newsletters and Substack to grow an audience in 2024* The evolution of coaching techniques, including the self-coaching model, and how Katie adapts them to best serve her clients* The importance of trusting the process, being present, and allowing growth to unfold naturallyLinks we mention in this episode:Katie’s upcoming Mind at Ease masterclassKatie’s website, Facebook and InstagramThe Self Coaching ModelBev Aron’s Deep Dive Coaching Certification Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

I’m sharing something a little different today… the results of my ‘podcast affair’ with my Aussie bestie, the gorgeous Ms . Bonded over our love of storytelling and creativity, Keeley and I and came together to create - a gathering of resources, classes and a shiny new podcast, in the hope of passing some of that passion along.I chose this very first episode to share here with you on Hashtag Authentic because I really think the fundamentals we talk through - which we’re jokingly calling our ‘commandments’ - are applicable to every and any platform out there online. So, whether you’re Substack-curious, have no intention of ever joining Substack or are a self-confessed Substa-holic, I hope this episode can offer you support, strength and encouragement for showing your creative side online.If you want to hear more from me and Keeley, be sure to Subscribe to and to the SSS podcast in your favourite podcast app.PS - Our special Winter Substack class is now enrolling, until Monday November 27th! Check out all the details on how you can join us here. Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

This week I talk to Katie Leamon, who turned her love of paper and pattern into her eponymous family-run stationery studio. Her notebooks have been a daily companion to me for many years, so it was really fun to chat with her about her designs, her process and the realities behind running a product-lead business with the family on board!Things we talk about:* Building from a home studio to printing and selling at scale* Designing products based on creative instinct* The rise of independent stationery makers and designers online* Selling wholesale vs. direct* Family business, and drawing the the lines between work and home life.* Taking time for creativity outside of work* Growing a team, and when to let things go* Katie’s new experiments in creating ceramic range * Launch strategies and learning from mistakes* Trusting your brand identity and staying authenticLinks we mentioned:* My Substack Soiree class* Katie’s online store, Katie Leamon * Katie’s new ceramic range (I LOVE THIS CUP!)Listened and loved it? Let us know what you think in the comments below! Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Find Hannah’s 4 Week Refresh Programme here Hannah’s Instagram: @hanbullivantHannah’s website: hannahbullivant.com Sara's Instagram: Sara's Substack:Sara's classes and coaching:Sara's website: Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Things we talked about:The way multi-faceted careers can feel piecemeal (especially if parenting is added into the mix), or “like I’m doing five different jobs at once”Factoring in time to play as well as workExploring your home town like a holiday destinationTaking things home from real holidays that you might not expect (like appreciating the simple things, family meals, all your possessions in one suitcase)Avoiding habits of consuming everything and creating nothingMaking connections on Twitter (Lisa says, “I engage with people because I love it”)Pondering the idea that the Internet means we don’t get bored any more, and what that meansOn making things happen (Lisa was waiting for a radio job offer but it didn’t come, so she started a podcast)“People say you’re brave putting yourself out there, but I’m more afraid of not doing it”The importance of perseverance, and regularly doing the thing you fear (until you don’t fear it any more)We had a frank conversation about money. Despite living an outwardly glamorous life, Lisa says, “I don’t earn enough”Becoming an “accidental landlady”: her unexpected foray into property investment to build financial securityWe talked about the way women often hide our realities, keeping everything from messy kitchens to miscarriage behind closed doorsEverything has to start with just two views. Even the most viral video of all time had only two views at some point.And finally, the possibly-surprising-but-then-probably-not location that Lisa chose when I asked her about her favourite place in the whole worldWhere to find Lisa:On Twitter she's @lfnandOn Instagram she's @lisafrancesca_nand and @thebigtravelpodcastHer podcast: The Big Travel PodcastThe meditation app Sara mentioned:Waking UpWhere to find Sara:Sara on SubstackSara’s website: meandorla.co.ukSara's charity Christmas cardsMe and Orla 2023 CalendarSara on Instagram: @me_and_orlaSara on Twitter: @meandorlaOne to one business coaching with SaraThe Insta Retreat Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Things We Talk About In This Episode:Working with clients in the creative process and their reactions.How as humans we respond to visuals in a human way. Narratives that make it seem shallow to care about how things look. Like it’s superficial to care too much about the way you look and that this might mean you don’t have depth.Aesthetics are a luxury that comes after the essentials of survival and how you can still care about aesthetics, even if the first priority is survival.Creating worlds on Instagram for an escape, or for an imaginary world to exist in.Growing up in a third-world country and living without running water. Living and growing up in a country where safety isn’t guaranteed and that these things stay with you.That where we start is not always a reflection of where we’re going to end up.The importance of the client’s story, understanding and connecting with them.Taking lessons from pain. Looking for good and having empathy.Struggling with seeing our own magic and the stories we tell ourselves.Behind the scenes of Sell Your Sh*t, and how the coaching and lessons had an impact on Susan.Learning that our experiences of life are not always everyone else's experiences. That our normal isn’t everyone’s experience.How Susan joined Instagram as a way to communicate her journey. That starting to share and mingle with people helped her to feel it’s safe to share online.That Instagram gives us chance to take small baby steps into being seen or into vulnerability.How being in the spotlight can mean you lose the sense of freedom with your account.That Instagram can be like therapy, that the discoveries that come as a result of being in the spotlight can help you to understand what you want. It makes you confront a lot of the stuff that’s hiding under the surface.How people can reject your work but not reject you, and how we can get this confused, something that’s covered in Sell Your Sh*t.Starting a business on Instagram and running a product business.How preparing and getting ready is more about feeling ready, and how this is a process.Learning about yourself and how your messages connect with other people is something you can’t rush.Designing your brand from the inside out, so you can finally stop tweaking your brand. Challenging the there's one right way theory.  Links mentioned in this episode (and where to find Susan):Sell Your Sh*tSusan product lineSusan youtubeJoin Susan’s Email listWhy you need to join Substack with Farah StoreWhere to find Susan:Susan's website: bysusanmar.comSusan on Instagram: by.susan.marSusan on Youtube: by Susan MarSusan's Email List & Freebies: choose-your-own-journeyWhere to find Sara:Sara’s website: meandorla.co.ukSara on Instagram: @me_and_orlaSara on Twitter: @meandorlaSara on Substack: meandorla.substack.comOne to one business coaching with SaraSell Your Sh*t - enroling now Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Things We Talk About In This Episode:The importance that established news organisations find ways to use social media if they want to engage a young audienceTikTok has redefined the experience of social media, with short video content, and Instagram Reels and Youtube Shorts have followed suitHow Sophia found an audience on TikTok (and later on Instagram Reels) by talking to camera about her media storiesThe way we can gain insights into what makes a successful social media post by being a user of the platformThe importance of constant engagement on social media, both creating and consuming contentAcknowledging the fear and vulnerability that can come with being authentic and genuine onlineSophia’s tips for successful TikTok/Reel content: action or engaging content in every second, and lead with your most powerful image/shot/quote)Comparing the strengths and drawbacks of the different platforms, especially Reels and TikTokWhen creating Reels content or TikTok content, share that content on both platforms so you’ll meet both audiencesWhen it comes to sharing your opinions online, having a sense of purpose goes a long way towards building your confidenceHow Sophia has been promoting her book: reposting user content from her book launch on Instagram, a big thread on Twitter, traditional media appearances, and weekly TikTok videos (interspersed with other content so she doesn’t “spam” her audience)The challenges of Internet (and especially social media) censorship with any content relating to sex or sexual healthLinks mentioned in this episode (and where to find Sophia):Editing apps that help you create Reels or TikToks:SpliceTemplateCap Cut on Apple, and on GoogleHere’s where to find and chat with Sophia:Sophia on Twitter: @sophiasgalerSophia on TikTok: @sophiasmithgalerSophia's book, Losing It: Sex Education for the 21st CenturyWhere to find Sara:The Insta Retreat  - Currently on Pre SaleSell Your Sh*t - Currently on Pre SaleSara’s website: meandorla.co.ukSara on Instagram: @me_and_orlaSara on Twitter: @meandorlaOne to one business coaching with Sara Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Things we talked about:The value of owning your own audienceBuilding a brand for yourself around the work you’re doingThe growing online hunger for content by real people and the forging of real connectionsWe seem to be entering an era that Farrah calls, rather poetically, "the Time of the Writer": the world has passed the period of devouring all the content on the Internet, now we are more discerning, and only want to consume content that we genuinely enjoyThe continued return of demand for long-form contentThe return of community: the value of hearing from and engaging with your audienceGiving your best work away from free (yes!)The limitations of the stories that can be told in traditional mediaAnd related, the limitations of creating content when you're in competition for followers or clicksWhen you try to appeal to the masses, you bland outFarrah's tips for what works well on Substack:Niching works well. The more you niche, the more dedicated (as opposed to big) an audience you'll getPublishing twice a week tends to grow a "stickier" audienceUse social media to point people to your Substack contentUse your "About" page to set expectations and declare a manifestoClaim your real name, if you canWhere to find Farrah:Farrah's Substack platform, "Things Worth Knowing"Farrah on Instagram (for dog pictures and Substack information)Where to find Sara:Sara on SubstackSara’s website: meandorla.co.ukSara on Instagram: @me_and_orlaSara on Twitter: @meandorlaOne to one business coaching with SaraThe Insta Retreat  Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Where to find Sara:Sara’s website: meandorla.co.ukSara on Instagram: @me_and_orlaSara on Twitter: @meandorlaSara on SubstackThe Insta RetreatSell Your Sh*tOne to one business coaching with Sara Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Things We Talk About In This Episode:The many ways for a book to “be successful” that don’t involve writing a New York Times bestseller (who knew?!)Lockdown lessons, and learning to live with uncertaintyThe surprising weight and reliance that we put on the future, without realising we’re doing itThe “ladder of hierarchies” through which we try (and mostly fail) to feel better about ourselvesLearning to enjoy the process of making something, more than the reception it receivesDrinking the Kool-Aid of never-ending work, productivity, and demonising rest (and this pearl of wisdom: even machines burn out!)And the related delusion we buy into, “I’ve put enough into the world that now I feel worthy”Shame in its many forms, and diet cultureUsing self-worth as an alternative motivator to shameHow to drop the shame (the first step is to start noticing it)Curiosity is the bridge that can take us from shame to self-loveAnd the freedom and curiosity that comes when we finally drop the shameLinks mentioned in this episode (and where to find Jamie):Radically Content is available from 12 April 2022, and can be ordered (or pre-ordered if you’re reading this before 12 April) hereJamie’s websiteJamie’s online course on self-trust, “Live with Intention”Here’s where to find and chat with Jamie in your favourite app:Jamie on Instagram @jamievaronJamie on Twitter @jamievaronJamie on Tiktok @jamievaronJamie on Facebook @jamievaronWhere to find Sara:Sara’s website: meandorla.co.ukSara on Instagram: @me_and_orlaSara on Twitter: @meandorlaOne to one business coaching with SaraThe Insta RetreatSell Your Sh*t Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Things We Talk About In This Episode:Recognising the power of what’s possible when people come together with a common goalThe value of creating your own, distraction-free destination for group learning and supportEmpowering creators to place higher value on the important business, community and content they are making - rather than being driven solely by the pursuit of money and influenceThe importance of community, particularly when we are forging new paths (or making things up as we go along). Gina says, “the single best place to make things up as you go along is in a small, trusted community of people who are there on the same journey”The important difference between “community” as opposed to audience, following or marketplaceThe great value of having diversity within a likeminded group is in the different and interesting ways that community members apply the common conceptsThe “fluff paradox” (the theory that content that is easy to judge - such as kittens or outrage - rises to the surface)How content and course creators can now market themselves less on formal qualifications or years of experience, and more on how they make ideas and skills accessible to people who can’t yet do the thing we’re teachingThat networking is increasingly moving towards safe, trusted, creator-led online communities, which in turn is transforming in-person conferences and events less into “networking meet-ups” and more into reunions, with the capacity for deeper connectionsHow I use Mighty Networks to create community and support the members of my own 15 Minute Magic programPricing your services and wares, and in particular understanding that people value and pay attention to the things they pay for (a difficult concept to remember when our own self-doubt tells us to keep our prices low or give things away for free)Gina’s top tips for building and facilitating a new community: 1. Fear of failure is the biggest challenge most people face, something we all need to recognise and overcome2. Go for quality rather than quantity in numbers of members3. Don’t get bogged down creating content: focus on creating results for your community4. Remember that community is about all members adding value to one another, not you preaching to an audience (“I’m not a sage on the stage, I’m on the side as a guide”)Links mentioned in this episode:Find Gina in the Mighty Network hosts communityFollow her on Twitter at @ginabThe Mighty Networks platformInformation on my 15 Minute Magic programWhere to find Sara:Sara’s website: meandorla.co.ukSara on Instagram: @me_and_orlaSara on Twitter: @meandorlaOne to one business coaching with SaraThe Insta Retreat Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Things we talked about:Trusting that you have enough, you are enough and that there'll be enough in the future and how that applies to you as a humanDecluttering and finding your own style, starting with the external and slowly moving inBeing diagnosed with cancer at 25 and having an existential crisis that kick-started a big lifestyle changeJess's realisation that if the worst happened she would have had so many regrets, that the situation shone a light on ways she was living her lifeThe fundamentals of doing stuff well online don't really change depending on the platform, it's about having something worth saying, being a human and connectingWe have access to all these amazing people online and we can feel like, finally, there's somewhere where we do belong, that you can share actual feelings and emotions with people over the internetBuilding relationships with people that you wouldn't otherwise and connecting with like-minded souls that typicallyWe are what we consume, so having a huge de-clutter of social media is a good thingMinimalism and simplifying life comes down to learning how to use the word no and how that can be really hardIntentional use of social media through asking yourself how you feel about it and taking action to make it work for youPeople's perception that we have to be perfect online and that showing any sign of weakness or difficulties is going to turn people off or mean they are no longer be interested in usWhen it comes to sharing online people don't connect with perfectionism like they do with pain or being broken because that's real, that we're all broken and we're all in pain and that being honest and open leads to deeper connectionsShowing up online as you is the key to a consistent online presence, the energy that we put into something transfers to the other person, they can feel it in your work,That we have so much to learn about vulnerability, fear of not being liked can lead to us not showing up as ourselvesHow it's all an experiment, that taking small steps makes being more us easierThat you end up being so bland if you try to please everyone and how it's so dishonest to yourself as a human to deny you likes and dislikes - don't be like white rice!How validation can be good especially if you haven't received much in your life, as it helps build confidenceLearning to use the word no, that it's about choice and that both paths are available to youThat we're told we're not enough by media and society, and that we can stop, ask a few questions, try be a bit braver, try be a bit more intentionalSustainability, that the planet can't sustain our need to buy things to make us feel better, that it's not happiness but fulfilment that's important and it's about asking ourselves the difficult questions to reach itThe freedom to explore and experience the good and the bad of life and how we miss out on the full experience if we are living by the rules we have been toldThat we are working too hard, that people are struggling with the expectations and are going to the doctor to get medication to keep up, that it's broken, the fact that people are working themself sickEnough is a decision, it's a choice we get to makeMy IG live with the Good Ship IllustrationJessica's IG live book launch Where to find Jessica Rose Williams online:You can buy her book hereYou'll find her @jessicarosewilliams on InstagramOn Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/c/JessicaRoseWilliamsAnd on her websiteWhere to find Sara:Sara’s website: meandorla.co.ukSara on Instagram: @me_and_orlaSara on Twitter: @meandorlaOne to one business coaching with SaraThe Insta Retreat is currently open for enrolment Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Things we talked about:How it still doesn't feel quite normal to call herself a full-time artist and how that's something a lot of us struggle withGrowing up with a parent who's an artist, the expectations that brings and how that comparison can make creating art feel overwhelmingFinding your own path, however varied and wherever it takes youThe feeling of not being good enough, how it can hold you back and the judgements we make of our own workHow posting on Instagram helped Maria to believe in her work and grow in confidence, that sometimes we need the outside world to tell us we're doing a good jobThat throwing yourself into your passions can lead to burnout, especially when making career changes and having other responsibilities and that recovery can be slow and frustratingHow burnout shows up and that working with your body can be hard especially in our brains and the guilt that comes with itThat naps are part of the creative process, taking time away from your creative process feeds itMaria's watercolour course, which has run twice and is open for enrolment at the moment, it covers the technical side of things as well as your mindset when producing workHow people have art supplies they are saving because they are afraid to use them and how people expect to be either creative or not, when actually it's a skill that can be developedThat we can feel not worthy of using the fancy art supplies or that we're waiting, but what are we waiting for?The journeys we go on to become good at the things we do, the hours we spend practising and the impactHow Maria's audience likes unexpected pieces of her work, that what you want to create and post and what your audience wants are two different things and how easy it would be to only create what people love but how that can be a trapThat maybe Maria's art would be different if she was paid for painting and not for a piece of art, how if it didn't have to be marketable it might be different? And how that's hard to knowHow people can feel like an imposter, usually if they have had a different job and found or come back to the thing they're doing now, they want to take it seriously but they don't think they're allowed to and that technical skill can be the route of thisSome people self-sabotage by talking quietly about their work, how we shouldn't be afraid to share about yourself because people want to know the person behind the postWhat's the big deal? If an Instagram post doesn't work then no one will see it so what's the problem with sharing it?How art changes over a lifetime, how it transforms into something new and that that's a good thing as you may do this for the rest of your life so if it stayed the same it would be terribleAnd that life can give you the perfect training, even if at the time you don't realise it.Where to find ... online:Maria's websiteMaria's Instagram @mariawiggeartMaris's course  Creating Boldly Use code ”MEANDORLA” for a 20% discountYou'll find her Pinterest here And here's Episode 84, when Maria was last on the podcastWhere to find Sara:Sara’s website: meandorla.co.ukSara on Instagram: @me_and_orlaSara on Twitter: @meandorlaThe Insta Retreat is currently open for enrolmentOne to one business coaching with SaraSara mentions her new programme Sell Your S**t. It's coming soon - sign up to find out when here Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Things we talked about:The difference between writing as a journalist and writing a book (it’s just so long!)But: you only get to publish your first book once! Accept the nerves, and appreciate the momentThe ever-present contention and push-back received when one writes about raceNatalie’s very wise words that reaction is the point of writing - and those reactions don’t have to be positive every timeThe value of the interviews in her book, and how she found and chose the right people to talk toSome of the stories and themes that came out of the interviews that surprised herThe unique experiences that people of mixed race have when they walk through the world, and the impact this has on identity, parenting, privilege, and the experience of racismParenting mixed race children (avoiding “colour-blindness” and those fetishised hashtags on social media)How white parents can open dialogues that empower their mixed race children to talk about racismThe value of social media in creating connections, sharing ideas, and giving voice to minorities who are not always heard on mainstream platformsBut on the flip side, the deeply disturbing fetishisation of mixed race people - particularly mixed babies - and “blackfishing” trends (changing your appearance through make-up and hair to appear as though you have black heritage)And Natalie’s rallying call to allies: “We need you to still care. We need that energy you had in the summer.”Where to find Natalie online:Natalie's book, Mixed/OtherNatalie is @nmozz on TwitterAnd also @nmozz on InstagramYou'll find her writing on metro.co.uk, in the lifestyle sectionAnd here's the Guardian article I mentioned, "Why celebrating mixed race beauty has its problematic side"Where to find Sara:The Insta Retreat - My tell-all, best selling course for Instagram creatives and business owners One to one business coaching with Sara TaskerSara’s website: meandorla.co.ukSara on Instagram: @me_and_orla Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Things we talked about:The trials and tribulations of being a “goat doula”Her new book Earthed, and its journey from concept, through to the transformation it underwent while she was writing, due to pressures from within (mental health) and without (a pandemic)How she actually managed to get it written, with all this going onThe challenges and joys of writing autobiographicallyWe dug into the need to be honest with ourselves about how we want our lives to look… and to recognise the good stuff in there, even if reality doesn’t match the fantasyAnd about lessons learned about life in pandemic times: acknowledge the difficult stuff, but don’t give up on your dreamsWe talked about the process of being diagnosed with ADHD (both of us), and how those diagnoses changed our lives – in many cases for the betterThe fear of not being taken seriously by your GPThe way the lifestyles we choose can be – subconsciously – self-medicationRebecca talked about following the things that interested her, even if that meant changing careers, and finding herself subconsciously being drawn to a life that fed what she neededAnd (this is a big one, I think), we talked about loving your brain! Loving the way it works, and the things it can do, regardless of whether or not it conforms with the way society says “all” brains should workThe importance of nature – and simple connections with animals – in keeping us grounded and helping us both give and receive unconditional loveWhere to find Rebecca online:Rebecca’s book Earthed, which came out in May this yearHer website: www.rebeccaschiller.co.ukFind Rebecca on Instagram: @rebecca.schillerWhere to find Sara:Sara’s website: meandorla.co.ukSara on Instagram: @me_and_orla Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Each week in the insta retreat we have 2 calls - one with a business/IG focus, and one like this, for mindset issues. Find out more and join in the fun at The Insta Retreat Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Things we talked about:Why so many of us feel suspicious about new technologies, and how we can change the narrativeThe way artificial intelligence (AI) reads and interprets our interests and activities in order to deliver content to us… and the impact that content can have on usApproaching social media mindfully, by noticing the impact certain content has on our moods and behaviours, and carefully curating what we choose to consumeThe difference between active and passive behaviour on social mediaTechnologies (other than social media) that Becca is loving… and thinking outside the box for ways in which technologies can improve our livesThe often-fraught topic of addictions, in relation to using our devices and social mediaThoughts about influencers and unhealthy comparisonsBecca shared her top tips for healthy ways to live with technologyAnd finally, I asked Becca to share what she would like the landscape of technology to look like in 10 yearsThe Insta Retreat - My tell all, best selling course for Instagram creatives and business owners.Where to find Becca online: Becca’s new book, Screen Time (https://www.waterstones.com/book/screen-time/becca-caddy/9781788704212)Becca’s website: beccacaddy.comBecca on Twitter: @beccacaddy (https://twitter.com/beccacaddy)Becca on Instagram: @beccacaddy (https://www.instagram.com/beccacaddy/) Where to find Sara:Sara’s website: meandorla.co.ukSara on Instagram: @me_and_orla Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Things we talked about:Allowing ourselves to feel good when things actually go wellThe synchronicity of things happening when they’re supposed to (and when you’re ready)Defining success for ourselves (and it’s not always what we assume it might be)How lockdown taught Katherine to create her own “sense of safety” following the success of her book, by creating courses to shore up her incomeFinding ways to own your own story, message and brandHow Katherine’s approach to Instagram evolved from “sharing pictures” to “telling stories”Katherine’s experience of coming back from “an anxious pattern of behaviour” around social mediaThe quiet activism in the premise of Katherine’s book, Wintering, which is all about periods of life in which we feel cut off from the rest of the worldNot always having to be “on” and “up.” As Katherine says, “The vision of us being always up discounts useful wonderful things like thinking, reflecting…”How we’ve all learned things about ourselves during lockdown, and the way our priorities (and what we are willing to accept) have changedBeing diagnosed as autistic, quite late in life, allowed Katherine to make the personal changes she needed: “How to meet my own needs, rather than how to solve me”The experience of living life as a neurodivergent personFinding your right people online (if you lose followers after sharing your true self, then you’ve lost the right followers - you don’t want them)And this piece of wisdom from Katherine, for anyone who identifies with our “neurodivergent” conversation: "Your identification is yours. It doesn’t need the approval of a doctor or your mum.”The Insta Retreat - My tell all, best selling course for Instagram creatives and business owners.Where to find Katherine online:Katherine’s website, katherine-may.com [https://katherine-may.co.uk] where you will also find her booksKatherine on Twitter: @_katherine_may_ [https://twitter.com/_katherine_may_]Katherine on Instagram: @katherinemay_ [https://www.instagram.com/katherinemay_/]Katherine’s podcast, The Wintering Sessions [https://katherine-may.co.uk/winteringsessions]The True Stories Writing School [https://www.truestorieswritingschool.com], home of Katherine’s online coursesBooks we mention in this episode:Wintering: the power of rest and retreat in difficult times [https://bookshop.org/books/wintering-the-power-of-rest-and-retreat-in-difficult-times/9780593189481]Electricity of Every Living Thing: a woman’s walk in the wild to find her way home [https://uk.bookshop.org/books/the-electricity-of-every-living-thing-a-woman-s-walk-in-the-wild-to-find-her-way-home/9781409172512]The 52 Seductions [https://uk.bookshop.org/books/the-52-seductions/9780755362530]Where to find Sarameandorla.co.ukInstagram - @me_and_orlaMy website designer - stories studio Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT Anna and I discuss the difference between the business of writing, and the writing of writingThe fear that so many of us feel of showing up, and putting ourselves out there or “being seen to try”. Anna says this is “straight-up embarrassment,” and we feel this way whenever we step outside the norm (even if we are embarrassed for positive reasons, like receiving a compliment)But in addition to this, she says that what holds us back, post-pandemic, is “very low emotional reserves.” All of us have a lower baseline of resilience which makes pitching scarier, and rejection harder to takeRecognising when you’re in burnout (and remembering that you don’t have to have all the answers before you’re allowed to help anyone else!)Defining freelancing and the many roles that freelancers need to play. Learning to be both boss and employee, and knowing when to shift between these modesSeeking a balance between working ON the business versus IN the business. Anna says she spends 20 percent of her time actually writing… but she’s working on increasing this!The bonkers (Anna’s word but I wholeheartedly agree!) system that rewards creative people for doing a good job by making them managers - a completely different skill-set and a role that a lot of creative people don’t actually aspire to take onWorking with people in your business from a place of collaboration, rather than managementGetting comfortable with sales (and moving on from the door-to-door salesman stereotype)“Dirty capitalism” versus “clean capitalism” (in other words, the conflict-that-shouldn’t-be-a-conflict of doing the right thing while also making money) LINKS WE MENTIONEDAnna’s book, “You’re the Business: How to Build a Successful Career When You Strike Out Alone”My first chat with Anna, on “Life Lessons for Freelancers” -The book Anna mentions, “A World Without Email: Reimagining Work in an Age of Communication Overload” by Cal NewportThe quote I was trying to remember is attributed to Ellevest co-founder and former Citigroup CFO Sallie Krawcheck, who said, “About the most powerful thing you can do to help a society and economy is get more money in the hands of women.” Hear hear! WHERE TO FIND ANNA ONLINE Anna’s podcast, Is this working?  Which she co-hosts with Tiffany PhilippouAnna on Twitter (she’s @annacod) Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe

Sally is joining me for weekly bonus coaching calls in my upcoming Insta Retreat class. Enrol now at meandorla.co.ukSally’s free program, “stop people pleasing in 5 days”Sally's WebsiteThe Life Coach SchoolSally's Instagram @sallyhardie_coachMy Instagram Get full access to Entre Nous at meandorla.substack.com/subscribe