Haute Mess - Unhinged

Enter the mind of the mentally ill and learn about: Eating Disorders, Self Harm, Genetic Factors & Genomes, Triggers, Blacking Out, Psychosis and learning to cope.

Follow me through a nervous breakdown and learning about CPTSD. Coming this season, I document re-entering society, applying coping skills and learning to love again while trying to avoid making a huge mess. 

What do you believe is truly evil? Episode 6 discusses how our integrity and character is put to the test on on daily basis. On this episode I explain the issues surrounding having poor role models. I base alot of my philosophies using the teachings of Frederick Nieche, Aristotle, Socrates and more.

Haute Topics | Abortion, Religion, Political Parties, Who’s Running this Shit Show

Boobs, Bunnies and Bullies

Once I began to research my diagnosis of Complex PTSD (CPTSD) I learned what an emotional memory was. I also learned what love wasn't.  I had associated caring and loving someone with criticism. I learned how to be hard on myself and allow treatment that was hurtful in my life. I also had no idea that leaving it untreated could be so life threatening. See prologue  Disclaimer: I am a mental health and suicide awareness advocate.  I document my journey through my mental illness and self discovery. I remain as authentic and raw as I am expressing how I feel.  If you listen you could learn something.

Disclosure: As a mental health advocate, I took a pledge as part of the #stigmafree campaign to actively work towards removing the stigma surrounding mental health misconceptions by sharing my story.'   Please note: My podcast documents my journey through mental illness. Your mental health is my first concern. In some of my episodes or writing I refer to issues that I struggled with, that may be a trigger for some individuals. I share some of the struggles I have with Complex PTSD symptoms. This is an emotional episode for me. I tried to make it through "tear free".  Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions. I am here to help by sharing my story.

'Disclosure: As a mental health advocate, I took a pledge as part of the #stigmafree campaign to actively work towards removing the stigma surrounding mental health misconceptions by sharing my story.'   Please note: My podcast documents my journey through mental illness. Your mental health is my first concern. In some of my episodes or writing I refer to issues that I struggled with, that may be a trigger for some individuals. F@!* Normal: I'm a Haute Mess I have always been my own worst critic. I hated how my mind worked. Emotions never made sense to me. They were intense and unpredictable. Mine. Everyone around me.  I had gone through more than I could handle. I was in the worst depressive episode of my life. It was raining and I was crying on the side of the road.  I don't know how long I had been standing in the middle of the street in the dark. All I remember was seriously thinking through, "how fast" a car had to be going when it hit me to just hurt me enough so I would go to the hospital but not actually kill me. That way all the pain I felt inside would be visible to everyone, including myself. 

The latest Hot Topic is Sydney Sweeney and American Eagle. Religion & God: I am AGNOSTIC. The foundation of religion is belief. The definition of Faith is strong belief in God or in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof. I "believe" we are not 2 dimensional and our emotions come from our prefrontal cortex and our morality from what we commonly refer to as our soul or spirit. I do not base my life on a GUESS. I bring up topics to spart conversation around critical thinking of morality, religion and science. Its beyond disturbing for you to push your guess on someone else. The Science: We are a species and its the .1% DNA genetic variant that dictates the color of our eyes, skin and hair through pigmentation through melanin. The same genetic variant combined with our personal life and how and where we lived, dictates who we are as individuals. Sexual orientation, how we process, food we like, how we f*ck - all based on science and what we ultimately enjoy and love. If you think sexuality is solely based on choice, you're wrong so lets just skip that. If you are able to have have babies, what color their eyes are, if you get placenta previa, have a miscarriage, etc ITS is all based on science and genetics! If God breathed life into us, he purposely created us to be different. The bible also states that life begins at first breath. It is against God Humanity and Science to tell people how to live and it goes against our primal instinct to feel safe and happy. Most people can barely handle their own life, sexuality and problems. How arrogant and delusional is it for others to tell people who to love, what to like, how to look or who to f*ck. Get your sh*t together. Quit being a selfish asshole. Your character is a choice you get to make. PS Levi's are better Jeans then American Eagle in case anyone wants my opinion.xoxo adriana

Haute Topics | Sexual Morality, Shame, Dudes in Dresses

See Audio prologue for episode description: I Feel Dead People

"I'm not yelling, I'm italian. " I respond to people wanting to know who I am talking about when I refer to men on steroids ..... I have no problem with men taking testosterone because of the obvious advantage.... "BONERS." duh It's only if that higher testosterone turns you into someone I don't want to F*ck. You can have boners minus the roid rage... For instance, check out clips of one of my most favorite p*nis creators and his Italian Family. He doesn't look like he has any issues in that area and funnier than hell. Too Turnt Tony Disclaimer:  This show isn't about anyone specific but a compilation of experiences I have had over the course of my life.  I use sarcastic dark humor. IF you are triggered by Suicide, Abuse and other Mental Illness Issues please put your mental well being first as this is supposed to be dark comedy and not advise.,

Disclosure: I do not name actual names in this video and I didn't "see" anyone do steroids. I am only making assumptions based on behavior and have very sarcastic humor.  I DON'T KNOW WHY ANYONE WOULD TRY TO FUCK WITH ME BECAUSE I LITTERALLY SAID - DON'T FUCK WITH ME IN THE VERY FIRST EPISODE....AND IF YOU EVER FUCK WITH MY KIDS - only way you get out of the spotlight is a very public apology. #duces 

'Disclosure: As a mental health advocate, I took a pledge as part of the #stigmafree campaign to actively work towards removing the stigma surrounding mental health misconceptions by sharing my story.'   Please note: My podcast documents my journey through mental illness. Your mental health is my first concern, in some of my episodes or writing I refer to issues that I struggled with, that may be a trigger for some individuals. Haute Mess: I just want to unapologetically me. That includes the times when I am truly a “Haute Mess” and I like to keep my messes couture. I don’t usually censor my thoughts or feelings. Why would I start now? I will allow this Podcast to go where it does. No matter how strange it gets. Join me in exploring topics such as: parenting, porn, strip clubs, mental health, sexuality and more. Keep in mind as you go on this journey…You’re taking a ride on the crazy bus, and I saved you a seat right next to me. xo Alysse xo

'Disclosure: As a mental health advocate, I took a pledge as part of the #stigmafree campaign to actively work towards removing the stigma surrounding mental health misconceptions by sharing my story.'   Please note: My podcast documents my journey through mental illness. Your mental health is my first concern. In some of my episodes or writing I refer to issues that I struggled with, that may be a trigger for some individuals. Going through a breakup is hard enough...but what happens when part of it is because you asked for help? Or opened up about your mental health struggles? Or tried standing up for yourself?  No one wants to be vulnerable (my least favorite word on the planet).  Opening up about things that are necessary for you to be in a good mental / emotional place shouldn't be so hard.  I am sharing my journey with you.  Not just for myself but to possibly help others. I can't help anyone to be comfortable in their own body or mind if I'm not!   I'm going to rip the band-aide off and just say all the shit that might make me look crazy. Why? Because why the FUCK NOT?