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Healed-ish
Healed-ish
Author: Jubilee Dawn
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Welcome to Healed-ish! A podcast about the messy, beautiful, and sometimes insane process of healing. Each week, host Jubilee Dawn (@jubileedawns) sits down with survivors of betrayal, religious trauma, catfishing, toxic relationships, and more to unpack the chaos and growth that comes with starting over. These are the stories people don’t always tell — honest, raw, a little funny, and fully human.
50 Episodes
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* CW* Eating disorder recovery, OCD, intrusive thoughtsIn this episode of Healed-ish, I sit down with Rihanna, who attended Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry with me back in 2012. Raised in a conservative Christian home and shaped by purity culture, Rihanna eventually found her way to Bethel, where she had meaningful spiritual experiences but also quietly relapsed into an eating disorder while working in a health-focused Internship. After moving to Los Angeles, she began healing her relationship with food and her body, and during the 2016 election season started deconstructing her faith as she wrestled with Christian nationalism and the version of God she had been taught. Today, she still loves Jesus, but on her own terms.We also talk about her recent OCD diagnosis and living with intrusive thoughts, what it has been like to finally understand her brain, and how she is working to break the stigma around mental health and eating disorder recovery online. We reminisce about the quirky, funny, and complicated parts of life at Bethel, the highs and the lows, and what healing has looked like on the other side.-Rihanna’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/thediaryofrihanna/Rihanna’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thediaryofrihannaRihanna’s Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/RihannaTeixeira-Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Danielle grew up in a non-denominational church and, like many teenagers, found community and belonging through her local youth group. It was there that she met James, the youth director who would slowly become one of the most important people in her life. What began as mentorship and friendship quietly shifted into something far more complicated. Over the years, James groomed Danielle through one-on-one time, emotional intimacy, gifts, and letters that blurred boundaries. At the time, she believed they were simply best friends.After Danielle’s story went viral on TikTok, she’s continued to process the grief of reframing memories that once felt safe and meaningful. In this episode, we talk about the unique pain of healing from grooming when it doesn’t look like what people expect, the confusion of realizing harm years later, and what it takes to untangle love, loyalty, and betrayal. This is a conversation about power, manipulation, and the long road to trusting yourself again.-Danielle’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/daniellerose143/Danielle’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@daniellerose143_-Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
In this episode, I’m joined by Beth Granger, author of Born and Razed, who shares her story of being taken from her parents at just four years old and placed into what was presented as a Christian boarding school, but functioned as a deeply controlling and abusive cult. Beth describes being put on a diet at the age of five, subjected to “light sessions” designed to psychologically tear children down, and raised under constant fear and obedience enforced by 2 women known as “the mothers.”Beth spent more than 30 years inside this system before eventually escaping and beginning the long process of healing. Her story became part of the first historic cult abuse case in Canada to win. In this conversation, Beth reflects on survival, identity after control, and what it means to reclaim your voice after a lifetime of spiritual abuse.Content Warning: This episode contains discussions of abuse, eating disorders, and experiences within a cult. Take care while listening.-Beth Granger’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/happygranger/Beth Granger’s Book & Website: https://bethgranger.ca-Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Becca was raised in the Mormon church, where nearly every part of her childhood revolved around faith, obedience, and preparation for marriage. From constant church commitments and Mormon Treks to attending BYU, her life followed a path that was considered righteous and ideal, but rarely questioned.In this episode, Becca opens up about Mormon doctrine, purity culture, and the invasive ways control over women’s bodies can show up in religious spaces. She shares her experience of a premarital medical exam, being given dilators, and undergoing an unnecessary hymenectomy. Now divorced, deconstructed, and living fear free as a queer woman, Becca reflects on unlearning shame, reclaiming autonomy, and rebuilding her identity outside the church.-Becca's Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ripbeccs-Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
In this episode, I sit down with Amy Duggar to talk about faith, family, and what it means to disrupt dysfunctional patterns. Amy shares her experience growing up adjacent to fame on 19 Kids & Counting, the red flags she noticed early on, and what it was like holding truth while surrounded by silence. We also talk about her book, Holy Disrupter, and why she believes disruption can be sacred when it comes to breaking unhealthy family systems.Amy opens up about healing from an abusive father, how her relationship with God has evolved, and how she is learning to live with honesty, boundaries, and purpose. This conversation is about choosing truth over image, faith over fear, and finding the courage to disrupt cycles that were never meant to continue.-Amy Duggar King’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/amyrachelleking/Amy Duggar King’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@amyrkingAmy’s Book & Website: https://amyduggarking.com-Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Part 2 of 2Emily didn’t grow up religious, but after a traumatic assault, she was searching for something to make her feel whole again. That search led her into Campus Crusade for Christ, years of overseas missions, and a deep commitment to faith and service. Over time, she began to notice troubling patterns, including witnessing a child with cerebral palsy accused of seeking out witchcraft and pressured to walk. In this episode, Emily shares how her experiences in missions and a charismatic church, including false prophecies and prayers to heal her own son, ultimately led her and her husband to step back and reevaluate everything they believed. Through deconstruction, grief, and rebuilding, they found a new way forward rooted in humanity, community, and compassion. -Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Part 1 of 2Emily didn’t grow up religious, but after a traumatic assault, she was searching for something to make her feel whole again. That search led her into Campus Crusade for Christ, years of overseas missions, and a deep commitment to faith and service. Over time, she began to notice troubling patterns, including witnessing a child with cerebral palsy accused of seeking out witchcraft and pressured to walk. In this episode, Emily shares how her experiences in missions and a charismatic church, including false prophecies and prayers to heal her own son, ultimately led her and her husband to step back and reevaluate everything they believed. Through deconstruction, grief, and rebuilding, they found a new way forward rooted in humanity, community, and compassion. -Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
In this episode of Healed-ish, Cherie talks about growing up in an ultra-strict Christian home where she was homeschooled with curriculum that rewrote history, promoted strict creationism, and even framed Barack Obama as the anti-Christ. From childhood, Cherie was taught that her primary purpose was to become a wife and mother within the ideals of complementarianism. At her Christian college, men and women were not allowed to spend time together off campus, and girls were even prohibited from wearing their hair wet because it was considered tempting.Cherie shares what sparked her deconstruction, being in an interfaith marriage, and why she is now raising awareness about Project 2025, something she recognizes deeply because she was essentially raised inside its ideology. This conversation is about indoctrination, awakening, and speaking out before history repeats itself.-Cherie’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@canceledchristian-Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Joshua Harris, author of the bestselling and culture-defining book I Kissed Dating Goodbye, joins Healed-ish for a conversation I’m sure neither of us saw coming. In this episode, we talk about his upbringing, what led him to embrace purity culture as a teenager, writing his book at just 21 years old, and watching it explode across evangelical spaces in ways he never imagined.Josh opens up about what later caused him to question everything he once believed, how listening to the stories of people harmed by purity culture changed him, and why he ultimately chose to publicly renounce his own book and apologize for the damage it caused. Together, we explore accountability, deconstruction, and what it really looks like to rebuild your life when your faith, identity, and certainty fall apart.-Josh’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/harrisjosh/Josh Harris’s Website: https://joshharris.comSurviving I Kissed Dating Goodbye Documentary: https://streamable.com/1ldz9c?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAc3J0YwZhcHBfaWQMMjU2MjgxMDQwNTU4AAGnwVL6rB615JLPYmBioQFG75ATVnZuQ1OS8VWvve_EKhvfII63IhpIEnveJQM_aem_vmFb_Hm5AvMLmCul_tdSjA-Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Toni grew up Southern Baptist in a rule-heavy home marked by emotional and physical abuse. After ministry school and getting married, she and her husband joined the World Race - 11 countries in 11 months, raising nearly $31,000 to serve overseas. But what was marketed as a life changing missions journey quickly revealed a darker side. In this episode, Toni shares how leadership pressured her to minister through debilitating migraines, blamed her for lacking faith, and how the entire experience unraveled her beliefs about short-term missions.-Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Toni grew up Southern Baptist in a rule-heavy home marked by emotional and physical abuse. After ministry school and getting married, she and her husband joined the World Race - 11 countries in 11 months, raising nearly $31,000 to serve overseas. But what was marketed as a life changing missions journey quickly revealed a darker side. In this episode, Toni shares how leadership pressured her to minister through debilitating migraines, blamed her for lacking faith, and how the entire experience unraveled her beliefs about short-term missions.-Krystina’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lifebeyondbeliefKrystina’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/krysandken/https://open.spotify.com/show/5jSEc2KnDIifE3ATcMf0br?si=0953232c76c64ccb-Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Krystina grew up Southern Baptist, in a world where women stayed silent on stage and drums were considered sinful. Later, in a charismatic church, she received unsettling prophetic words that painted her future as “anointed, but lonely.” She pursued worship ministry at Liberty University, only to face racism, tokenization, and microaggressions from the very people who claimed to love her. Behind the scenes, she discovered how worship was intentionally designed to manipulate emotions.... something she once believed was purely spiritual.Everything shifted when she became a mother. Wanting to raise her child with honesty and clarity, Krystina began revisiting her faith with fresh eyes. Instead of the certainty she hoped for, she found herself wrestling with questions she had never allowed herself to ask. Over time, this led her into a season of deep reevaluation and eventually toward a new journey outside of Christianity. Today, she and her husband share their story on Life Beyond Belief, offering a space for people navigating doubt, change, and rebuilding after leaving a faith tradition. In this episode, Krystina opens up about the moments that shaped her, the questions that transformed her, and what it looks like to find peace on the other side of certainty.-Krystina’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lifebeyondbeliefKrystina’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/krysandken/Life Beyond Belief Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/5jSEc2KnDIifE3ATcMf0br?si=0953232c76c64ccb-Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Part 2 of 2From praying to cast out demons to trying to resurrect her guinea pig, Anna Stone was all in on her charismatic faith. She believed she’d one day be a missionary in Mozambique and dedicated her entire life to spreading the gospel.But at seventeen, an inappropriate encounter and the fallout that followed began to reveal the darker side of the church. Later, her curiosity about Mormonism pushed her to reevaluate everything she’d been taught. In this episode, Anna shares how education, curiosity, and heartbreak led her from dreaming of being a missionary to dreaming of a simple, beautiful life rooted in peace instead of fear.-Anna’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@awna1997?lang=enAnna’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/awna_stone/-Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Part 1 of 2From praying to cast out demons to trying to resurrect her guinea pig, Anna Stone was all in on her charismatic faith. She believed she’d one day be a missionary in Mozambique and dedicated her entire life to spreading the gospel.But at seventeen, an inappropriate encounter and the fallout that followed began to reveal the darker side of the church. Later, her curiosity about Mormonism pushed her to reevaluate everything she’d been taught. In this episode, Anna shares how education, curiosity, and heartbreak led her from dreaming of being a missionary to dreaming of a simple, beautiful life rooted in peace instead of fear.-Anna’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@awna1997?lang=enAnna’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/awna_stone/-Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Were we lied to about hell?This week, I am joined by Brian Recker, a pastor's kid, former minister, and author of Hell Bent. Brian asked the question most of us were taught to fear: Is the hell we grew up with actually biblical?Brian shares how studying Scripture and church history unraveled fear-based theology and led him into a deeper and more loving experience of God. We talk about the harm of "turn or burn" messaging, what Jesus really taught, and how letting go of hell did not destroy Brian's faith, it healed it.If you grew up terrified of eternal punishment, this conversation offers clarity, freedom, and hope.-Brian Recker’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/berecker/Brian Recker’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@brianrecker5Hell Bent: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/771172/hell-bent-by-brian-recker/-Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Maddie Zahm grew up in a Christian home where she took her purity seriously and poured her heart into worship leading. Years later, after auditioning for American Idol, she began writing the kind of songs that reach straight into the stories of those deconstructing their faith and identity.Her song “You Might Not Like Her” became an anthem for anyone learning to love themselves after leaving shame based systems (including me). In this conversation, Maddie opens up about coming out to her family, finding her community, and the beautiful, messy process of discovering who you truly are.-Maddie Zahm’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/maddiezahm/Maddie Zahm’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@maddiezahm-Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Monte was raised in rural Wyoming to believe she might have to die for her faith.Growing up under alt-right Christian nationalism, her family prepared for war, built a bunker, and warned her that Democrats would come to kill them. She was taught to shoot at a young age and to see obedience as holiness.Seen as her father’s “chosen one,” she was encouraged to get an education so she could “change the world for God.” She signed a purity contract and learned that her worth was tied to submission and control. Years later, after escaping the abuse and fear that defined her childhood, Monte began rebuilding her life, teaching others what the Bible actually says, and using her voice to fight Christian nationalism.-Monte’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/montemader/Monte’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@montemader-Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Part 2 of 2Victoria joined Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry at a pivotal time in her life, hoping to grow in her faith and purpose. During her time there, she began an internship with Nick and Jess, a couple who led a group of students through life coaching and emotional healing practices. What started as mentorship quickly shifted into something harmful, as Victoria found herself leading unlicensed “therapy” sessions, participating in anxiety inducing trust exercises, and watching leaders blur the lines between spiritual growth and manipulation.In this episode, Victoria opens up about how a program built on transformation and vulnerability became a system of control. She shares how the pressure to perform, obey, and protect her leaders led to emotional and spiritual harm, and what it took to reclaim her voice after being coached into silence.-Victoria’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/victoriagreerhathaway/Victoria’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@victoriagreerhathaway-Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Part 1 of 2Victoria joined Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry at a pivotal time in her life, hoping to grow in her faith and purpose. During her time there, she began an internship with Nick and Jess, a couple who led a group of students through life coaching and emotional healing practices. What started as mentorship quickly shifted into something harmful, as Victoria found herself leading unlicensed “therapy” sessions, participating in anxiety inducing trust exercises, and watching leaders blur the lines between spiritual growth and manipulation.In this episode, Victoria opens up about how a program built on transformation and vulnerability became a system of control. She shares how the pressure to perform, obey, and protect her leaders led to emotional and spiritual harm, and what it took to reclaim her voice after being coached into silence.-Victoria’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/victoriagreerhathaway/Victoria’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@victoriagreerhathaway-Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Azriél Crews, actor, writer, and daughter of Terry Crews, grew up in front of the cameras on her family’s reality show The Family Crews. As a teenager, she signed a purity pledge on national TV, turning her private coming-of-age into a public spectacle.In this episode, Azriél opens up about navigating faith, fame, and identity in the spotlight. She shares how college gave her the space to embrace who she truly is, her journey of deconstruction, and how she now uses humor (and a touch of “nepo baby” honesty) to tell stories about healing, queerness, and self-acceptance.-Azriel’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/azrielpatricia/Azriel’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@azrielpatricia-Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HealedishFollow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8




