A Bittersweet Farewell and Moving Forward with Courage In this episode of Healing with Worth, hosts Janeen and Naomi announce Janeen's departure from the podcast as she reaches a new stage in her recovery. They introduce the new co-host, Marquelle, and discuss key takeaways from their journey, including the importance of self-compassion, courage, and community support in healing from betrayal trauma. Janeen shares her thoughts on the process of recovery, the need for continuous growth, and the significance of anchoring oneself to divine identity and intuition. The episode emphasizes showing up for oneself and highlights the unique paths and rebirths in each person's healing journey. 00:00 Introduction to Healing with Worth 00:40 A Bittersweet Farewell to Janine 05:10 Janine's Final Thoughts and Takeaways 11:05 The Importance of Courage and Community 17:12 Rebirth and Moving Forward 25:26 Final Words and Gratitude 26:18 Closing and Next Steps
Come and meet Hali the Intake Coordinator--the voice on the other end of the phone. Hali started her path down this healing journey about 6 years ago when she found Life-Changing Services during a series of crises that happened in her marriage. She has trained under Maurice Harker and his team and worked in different capacities at Life Changing Services ever since. She is a Life Coach, a Betrayal Trauma Coach and she works on the WORTH team as the Intake Coordinator. (WORTH Stands for Woman of Rebirth Therapeutic Healing) In her capacity with the WORTH team, she is the voice on the other end of the phone when a new client has their intake phone call before getting started in the WORTH group. She coaches our Worth Rising Worth YSA classes. Hali has a great passion for working with young people as well. She works with some of the youngest clients in the Sons of Helaman program as a Personal Warrior Trainer. She also leads a Young Women’s Group where she helps young girls gain Christ-Centered tools at an early age to stay true to who they are and realize their full potential. If you would like to work with Hali you can reach her at https://www.chooserecoveryservices.com/team/
Do you have inner turmoil and conflict around the concept of forgiveness? In this episode, we talk about our experiences with forgiveness. We talk about why we chose to forgive, the benefits of forgiveness, how it is complicated in addiction, and what forgiveness is not. We know first hand how forgiveness is a delicate topic that creates confusion, pain, and even guilt for partners who’ve been betrayed and traumatized by the addict in their life. We can relate, the pain is real. So tune in today!
Did you know there is a way out of the drama triangle? In this episode, we reveal the secret and how it has made a huge impact on our recovery. The Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT)™ is a toxic interplay of three distinct roles; Persecutor, Victim, and Rescuer, which was first articulated by Dr. Stephen Karpman in the 1960s (and known as the Karpman Drama Triangle). In this episode, we Briefly explain what the Drama Triangle is; why it is important in our recovery work; and how to get out. If you want to listen to a Ted talk that is mentioned in the episode here is the link https://www.ted.com/talks/lucy_barnes_the_dreaded_drama_triangle To sign up for our WORTH YSA class for single women 18+ you can register here: http://healingwithworth.org/ You can participate in our WORTH YSA giveaway by sharing and commenting on our facebook post about WORTH YSA: https://www.facebook.com/HealingwithWORTH/?ref=bookmarks or on Instagram @healingwithworth6 https://www.instagram.com/healingwithworth6/
Healing and recovery often take a while, Maurice uses the analogy of "Packing Your Wagon" to help women prepare for the long journey ahead. Maurice W. Harker, CMHC, is the originator and Director of Life Changing Services. Life Changing Services has grown into a nation-wide service provider with over 35 clinicians, along with many mentors, and life coaches working together to serve over 1,000 clients per week. He is the originator of Sons of Helaman, and Men of Moroni, sexual self-mastery training programs. These programs have helped thousands of youth and men recover from pornography addiction and other sexual related issues. He is also the originator of the WORTH Group (serving women in Betrayal Trauma). Maurice is the author of Like Dragons Did They Fight – a synergy of eternal principles and accurate science for personal self-mastery. He is also the author of I’m Not Okay, You’re Not Okay, And That’s Okay, a book on healing and building healthy relationships. He is the author of And the Man Knew His Wife, a book designed to help couples improve the quality of their marital intimacy. To download a free copy of Like Dragons Did They Fight: https://www.lifechangingservices.org/freebook/ Maurice specializes in providing therapeutic services with interventions that accurately synchronize effective psychological science with eternal principles. He is most known and sought after for the work he does with individuals and couples who have been traumatized by sexual misbehavior.
It's not about having the best filters or filling their head with information. It's about capturing the heart and minds of those we love that will break the cycle of addiction for future generations. This episode was inspired by a listener question: Knowing what we know now and what we have faced, how can we help educate others and break the cycle for future generations? We reached out to Kristen A. Jenson, author of Good Pictures Bad Pictures; Porn Proofing Today’s Young, and Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr. and founder of ProtectYoungMinds.org to engage in a conversation about our listener’s question. Here is a link to Kristen's website www.ProtectYoungMinds.org for more information and FREE parenting guides to help parents and other caring adults protect kids from pornography’s influence. Website/books: https://protectyoungminds.org/books/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ProtectYM/ Instagram: @protectyoungminds Twitter: @ProtectYM
Gaslighting is a response to stress; people become either gaslighters or gaslightees when they feel threatened. Are you stuck in the Gaslight Tango? In all likelihood, both of you have Gaslight Triggers, situations that start you dancing. In this episode we discuss the last 3 ways to turn off the gas: Identify Your GaslightTriggers, and His. Focus on Feelings instead of "Right" or 'Wrong." Remember That You Can't Control Anyone's Opinion--Even if you're right! These five points come from the book The Gaslighting Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life by Dr. Robin Stern We would love to hear your thoughts on this topic and any questions you may have. Please email us at worth@lifechangingservices.org. You may follow us for more uplifting and inspiring content: Instagram: @healingwithworth6 Facebook: WORTH - Women of Rebirth and Therapeutic Healing Twitter: @HealingWORTH
Have you ever been in a conversation where you are constantly second-guessing yourself; your feelings, your perceptions, your memories and by the end of the conversation you think you are going crazy? If yes, you are being gaslighted. Did you know that there are 5 ways to turn off the gas in gaslighting? In this episode we will explore the first two ways to turn off the gas: (1) Sort out truth from distortion (2) Decide if the conversation is a power struggle. If it is, opt-out. The hosts explain how gaslighting affects your brain. They give tips on how to stop idealizing your gaslighter and how to start thinking for yourself. They teach you how to recognize a power struggle and then disengage. They discuss how to recognize a genuine conversation from an abusive one. These five points come from the book The Gaslighting Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life by Dr. Robin Stern We would love to hear your thoughts on this topic and any questions you may have. Please email us at worth@lifechangingservices.org. You may follow us for more uplifting and inspiring content: Instgram: @healingwithworth6 Facebook: WORTH - Women of Rebirth and Therapeutic Healing Twitter: @HealingWORTH
Luke Gordon, director of the Men of Moroni program for Life Changing Services as well as a former missionary of an Addiction Recovery Meeting for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, joins hosts to discuss gaslighting and how it affects the betrayed spouse. Gaslighting is considered a pattern of manipulation and emotional abuse in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt with a person making them question their own memory, perception and sanity. https://lifechangingservices.online/menofmoroni/
Luke Gordon, director of the Men of Moroni program for Life Changing Services and who has also been a missionary of an Addiction Recovery Meeting for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, joins hosts to discuss part of his recovery journey. After being trapped in sexual addiction for many years, he is now sharing his experience of recovery and hope with others who are trapped in the plague sexual addiction. https://lifechangingservices.online/menofmoroni/
Hosts continue their discussion on emotions. They describe briefly the science behind our emotions and how our brain process them, and different tools that are helpful to deal with them. https://positivepsychology.com/emotion-wheel/ No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotion at Work Liz Fosslien Like Dragons Did They Fight Maurice W. Harker, CMHC http://www.lifechangingservices.org/product/like-dragons-did-they-fight-ebook/?fbclid=IwAR0GPHYgsSnPeMyYXtbbjmp00LDBL4hmf16VF6j4k-p9DWTCoXxTWKOubKM Can We Trust Our Feelings and Intuition? Eckhart Tolle https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ci8ZAj6Z8C4
Intense feelings and emotions surface during a betrayal. Hosts share what they have learned about emotions, and why it is important to develop a strong emotional awareness. They share tips on how to navigate through the turbulent water of our feelings without getting lost or overwhelmed. It is a skill that can be developed that will benefit all aspects of our lives and will allow us to connect with others and respond rather than react. When we can put a name to our emotions it will help us to understand ourselves and the impact it has on others. Our emotions affect health, performance, well-being, motivation, sense of fulfillment, and decision-making skills. https://positivepsychology.com/emotion-wheel/ The Journey from Abandonment to Healing Susan Anderson The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma Bessel van der Kolk.
Women can experience a crisis of faith when dealing with betrayal trauma. While each crisis will be unique to the individual, when it does happen it seems like our whole world comes crashing down. Generally, a faith crisis points to a kind of falling apart, a disintegration of one's former world that was previously held up by beliefs and propositions. Each of the hosts shares their heart-wrenching crisis of faith and how they got through it. While each of their stories is filled with pain and sorrow they realized that God is merciful and will buoy us up in times of challenge. The hosts also share the many gifts that they have been given through the tender mercies of God. Many times these gifts came in such an unusual manner and with such precise timing that it really did confirm to us the reality of God’s existence that he has and always will buoy us up in times of trials. Life hurts us all in different ways, but it is how we respond — and who we become — that determines whether a trauma becomes a tragedy, and how the victim becomes the victor. Worth the Wrestle - Sheri Dew Women and the Priesthood - Sheri Dew Live up to our Privileges - Wendy Ulrich Increase in Learning - David A. Bednar Act in Doctrine - David A. Bednar Power to Become - David A. Bednar Healing through Christ https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/general-conference?lang=eng https://www.byupathway.org/
Emotional Self Care is all about how human beings have an innate desire to connect, to experience dynamic relationships with one another. In addiction, however, this attachment is severed and leaves the betrayed feeling unsafe, which produces the fight, flight, or freeze response. Though they are all three natural survival instincts none of these responses promote healing from trauma or rebuilding of a relationship. Learning what these strong emotions look like, sounds like and feels like, and applying the 7 suggested strategies, will help you be more aware of those responses in your own body and you will be better equipped to connect with those around you.
Hosts share stories and discuss the importance of physical self care in order to maintain balance and deal with the added stress betrayal trauma creates in the body. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk Solving the Autoimmune Puzzle by Dr. Keesha Ewers Be Faithful, Not Faithless by Steven W. Owen Young Men General President https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2019/10/13owen?lang=eng Watchful unto Prayer Continually - Elder David A. Bednar https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2019/10/22bednar?lang=eng Check out Life Changing Services other podcasts: Mothers Who Know https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mothers-who-know/id1444889135 Eternal Warriors https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-eternal-warrior-podcast/id1451471172
Intellectual self care is an important aspect of betrayal trauma recovery. Hosts share what has been helpful to them in their recovery journey. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People - Steven R Covey What Can I Do About Me - Rhyll Croshaw https://byupathway.lds.org/ https://rowboatandmarbles.org/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/Sitting-in-a-Rowboat-eBook-9-15-11-2nd-revised.pdf
Dealing with a loved one struggling with addiction takes an enormous amount of energy. Next to understanding boundaries, self care is one of the most vital components of healing from betrayal trauma. The hosts discuss what self care is and different analogies as to why it is important. This is the first of many episodes focusing on the different aspects of self care. Vicki Tidwell Palmer https://beyondbitchy.com/ Looking Through Windows https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbFiB7oiQs4 Life Changing Services Podcasts https://www.lifechangingservices.org/
Alana Gordon LMFT-T and Director of the WORTH program shares her 10 tips for the betrayed to thrive during the holiday season. Links for this episode are talks given in general conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints Neal A Maxwell-"Remember How Merciful the Lord Hath Been" https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2004/04/remember-how-merciful-the-lord-hath-been?lang=eng&cuid=f4959e8502e32f5b2a14b64d7995dfd9 Dieter F. Utchdorf-"Grateful In Any Circumstance" https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2014/04/grateful-in-any-circumstances?lang=eng
Boundaries are needed in order for us to feel safe. They help to protect ourselves and other family members when loved ones are struggling with destructive behaviors. Generally people have a difficult time in setting boundaries, but learning how to do so will not only protect ourselves and preserve our own self worth, but will be a blessing to our loved one. As we set boundaries, we will have greater capacity to love others. The hosts share what they have learned about setting boundaries and their personal stories in doing so. For more information visit https://healingwithworth.org/ Divine Love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2003/02/divine-love?lang=eng Brene Brown https://vimeo.com/274228723 Adam Moore http://adammmoore.com/2014/06/12/defining-and-enforcing-boundaries-in-sexual-addiction-recovery/ Moving Beyond Betrayal - Vicki Tidwell Palmer Facing Heartbreak - Stefanie Carnes
Last week we discussed our different analogies about what betrayal trauma has felt like for us in the form of trucks, manure and pits. We have Kimberly Day with us today. She is one of the WORTH therapists with Life Changing Services, and is a Licensed MHCA Therapist who gives her insights on betrayal trauma. To sign up for a WORTH group or read our blog you can find us at http://www.healingwithworth.org/
Melanie Hunter
Amie is amazing! I am in this class and it has been a huge blessing in my life. I encourage anyone who is interested to register.