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Hello Dysfunction

Hello Dysfunction
Author: Hello Dysfunction
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HelloDysfunction©2020
Description
Childhood best friends, PataFria: a professional Dominatrix, mommy/grandma and overall jack of all trades, and Crystal: a die hard animal lover, mommy/wife, peacemaker and caregiver of MANY share hilariously dysfunctional stories from their personal lives. Navigating mental illness, familial chaos, awkward sexual experiences, views on current events, a little gossip, the dumpster fire of politics and so much more.
“Nothing is off limits and everything is funny”
“Nothing is off limits and everything is funny”
324 Episodes
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Happy 7 years, Columbus Day my *ss, sunglasses at the gym and no more jean jackets? White dog poop, nostalgic snacks, some new bills and separate beds.
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Instagram.com/crystaldamato21
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Teach your kids to keep their hands to themselves, Crystal had an awkward encounter, Peez taught herself piano and Happy Birthday Kandi! We miss churro cheesecake, don’t scam people with photoshop, October is Domestic Violence Awareness month and we’re making ourselves impatient.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Don’t copy Peez’ mom, Crystal misses Jnco’s, the daytime isn’t so bad and today is Orange Shirt Day. Spumoni is a top tier dessert, let people wear what they want, sometimes you have to tattoo your face and some celebrities don’t deserve anyone’s attention.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Subscribe and watch on YouTube!
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Follow us on IG:
Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21
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hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Earthquakes and indecisive weather, dreaming of scams, Bay Area crime cases and some good Facebook drama. An interesting theory on soulmates, Peez is a baker, did Crystal have an animal returned, and the rapture was rescheduled.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
Patreon.com/hellodysfunction
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Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21
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Crystal had big feet, Pat is a fitness girly, Mochi had an adventure and Peez’ teacher messed up. Book club ideas, horrible unsolved murders, the U.S. is under occupation and free speech is a thing of the past.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Instagram.com/lurkpatafria
Instagram.com/crystaldamato21
Submit your questions/stories:
hellodysfunctionpodcast.com
Nice Crystal’s dead, Pat’s having weird dreams again, a mystery tea set and a new P.O. Box. Sharing symptoms is rude, Peez had the best birthday ever, karma comes for everyone and the Pata Fria curse is brutal.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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First day of school again, bathroom residents, Crystal has a wound and we’ll finally get some relief. Pat has a dad Crystal has a mom, Unknown Caller was wild, mental illness has it’s perks and Aunt Deb is running out of patience.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Don’t waste your bangs, escape rooms are fun, always shop with a list and cries without tears are a tell. Did we love a fraud? Men need to step it up, kids need grit and Crystal is losing her mind.
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Peez started kindergarten, Crystal had a relaxing birthday, perimenopause is killing us and sometimes you need to be a Karen. Common courtesy is dead, more extreme body mods, don't stiff nice servers or put out cigarettes on the windows.
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Happy Anniversary, Mexico was eventful, Crystal is not a traveler and Peez is a sour patch kid. Pat doesn’t own a mop, school is starting, no toilet services, and no more missionaries.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Back on black cohosh, we have a new baby, this weekend was scary and we need a carpenter. Childhood photos, cannibal sandwiches, humans are still a disappointment and protect the geniuses.
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Crystal got her hair done and a new piercing, 4loko cans are a warning, thrift prices are disrespectful and Pat got some bad news. Don’t puke in the sink, avoid mud while on adventures, cops shouldn’t be hitting anyone and Peez is in love.
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Things are getting better, Peez is hoarding, OCD just doesn’t make sense and farewell Great America. Crystal is still terrorizing Pat’s dreams, Trump didn’t get shot, uniqueness reigns supreme and there’s been a lot of crazy news.
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Pat is playing referee, Sunday was a flop, Crystal has been writing and was asked to babysit. RIP Amanda, no more pets, random singing and our government lies in our face.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Instagram.com/crystaldamato21
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RIP Antonio, we’re sweaty, Pat’s back is broken and CA has some new laws. Don’t get fake abs, change your towels out, OCD sometimes promotes good habits and billionaires aren’t good people.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Weekend unboxing, Bunny’s birthday, a fire scare and old Italian tradition. A close call, don’t let your kids join the military, messy true crime and some people are only for a season.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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RIP Uncle Jimmy, Father's Day was cute, is WW3 happening and is MAGA waking up? Some people don’t deserve fans, WWF wrestling was NUTS, the government is experimenting on our brains and we’re really out of shape.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Antique water heater for sale, Crystal did Zumba, Kaitlyn’s return and unicorn searches. Bloody boots, we’re really sweaty, new teeth option and FCK ICE.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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It’s 304 day, pride and men’s mental health awareness month! A busy weekend, Filipino karaoke and Crystal thinks she’s a poet. The boycotts aren’t over, don’t parasail alone and missing teeth can be hot.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Instagram.com/crystaldamato21
Submit your questions/stories:
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Pat really likes her doctor, always kiss the judge’s a*s, root canals are bad for you and Peez is outta control. Comedy show update, tired of the credit score game, Crystal is still talking to strangers and irrational fears are crippling.
For bonus episodes, early releases and live streams join Patreon!
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Submit your questions/stories:
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nail tech info please
The best podcast. I feel like I am with best friends listening to you both. Thank you for all the honesty and of course laughs!
😍😍
P.s. thanks for the asmr moments, y’all even smack when y’all talk it’s perfect. Don’t change💕
Patafriaaaaa! *italian voice* I used to listen to the ask patafria call and I loveeeee this hello dysfucntion podcast I listen to it while I’m driving to and from work. No shade to the ask patafria show but you and your best friend are SUCH better podcasts counterparts. Hello dysfunction is way more fluid and y’all are filthy like me I swear the humor and just inappropriate filth is my type of comedy. I be dying laughing it reminds me of a SNL skit y’all are just so raw. “Pat and Barbs” that’s how I introduce y’all to my friends lol