Claim OwnershipHello Hayes
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Hello Hayes is a podcast about the work of becoming — honest, layered, and always evolving. Whether she’s navigating a creative block, untangling relationship patterns, or rethinking ambition, host Hayes (Alexandra Hayes Robinson) invites you into her own process and encourages you to explore yours.
Originally known for her advice column on TikTok, Hayes brings a clear, curious, and emotionally intelligent voice to long-form audio. Her work — featured in BuzzFeed, The New York Times, and CBS — explores the questions beneath the surface: Who am I, really? What gets in the way of that? And how do I keep showing up as someone I recognize?
This isn’t about self-help shortcuts or expert advice. It’s about asking the right questions, honoring your process, and knowing you’re not alone in it. Whether you’re navigating a major life shift or craving more clarity in the everyday, Hello Hayes is here to help you feel supported, capable, and curious about who you’re becoming.
Send letters to hellohayesadvice@gmail.com
66 Episodes
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This week's Hello Hayes asks: "Is it ever okay to pick love over career?" Let's discuss.
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This week's Hello Hayes advice column: Our letter writer, a chronic overthinker, is "freaked out" about getting engaged because her boyfriend isn't as family oriented as she is. (Or is he?) We discuss: family dynamics and being "family oriented," getting engaged, relationship standards, and whether there's validity to the "80/20" rule.
In the back half, we're getting a pulse check on generative AI. What are your feelings?
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What to do when your friends feel like emotional strangers.
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What’s the right thing to do when you’ve kept the peace with someone your whole life… but now you don’t want them at your wedding? That’s the dilemma in this week’s Hello Hayes advice column. Let’s hear it.
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Let’s talk about reciprocity in friendship. In this episode, I answer a letter from someone who’s tired of always being the one to initiate. Then, in the second half, I dive into your rapid-fire questions — everything from how to support a friend who keeps making “disastrous” decisions to what to do when your friends just don’t seem to understand you.
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Want advice? Send letters to hellohayesadvice@gmail.com
Her friends say she’s too young to get married — but she’s never felt more ready. This week on Hello Hayes, we unpack what to do when the people closest to you don’t support your biggest life decision yet.
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Let's say you want to build a new life for yourself: make money, have great friends, get to travel…and you're on your way! But what happens when you suddenly look around and realize that no one can relate to what you've been through or where you come from? Are those relationships doomed? Was it crazy to ever think you could be different from where you come from?
In today's Hello Hayes, we're hearing from a 20-year-old college student who feels like the poor friend in every room — and is wondering if she'll ever feel fully seen and understood in her relationships.
Topics covered: friendship advice, class differences, financial stress, college relationships, feeling misunderstood, building authentic connections
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How much should you sacrifice for someone who won’t do the same for you?That’s the question behind this week's Hello Hayes letter , written by someone who has given everything to her relationship and is starting to wonder if it’s being returned.
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Is it betrayal when your best friend stays friends with someone who hurt you? Let's discuss...
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Thank you all for submitting such great questions on the creative process and writing. This is part 1 of my 4 part Q+A series! In today's episode, we're tackling HOW TO GET STARTED. We’re gonna talk about finding a spark, idea generation, we’re gonna talk about recognizing yourself as an artist or writer and giving yourself permission to be that person, and then we’re gonna talk about being seen by others.
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Today we're talking about discipline: how to get it and how to stop hating ourselves for not having it. This episode is for you if:
You feel like your lack of discipline is the reason you haven’t reached your potential.
You have something you desperately want to do, but can’t seem to stick with it.
You wonder why discipline seems so easy for other people — and so hard for you.
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Today we’re talking about the healing power of books — specifically 9 books (fiction and non-fiction) that have helped me heal over the past year. The first half of this episode is a rapid-fire review of eight of my favorites, and in the second half, I do a deep dive on the book I’m currently reading: THE MYTH OF NORMAL by Dr. Gabor Maté.
If you’re feeling stuck, burned out, or ready to grow emotionally, these books can support your healing journey and offer clarity, comfort, and new perspectives.
For more book recommendations and resources to support your healing, check out the Live Beyond Booklist:https://livebeyondca.org/booklist/
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Everyone wants (and) deserves an inner circle full of people they trust, but sometimes we get in our way own while searching for them. In this episode, we're talking about the three main ways we sabotage building our inner circle, how we can begin to properly build our inner circle brick by brick, and at the end, I'm answering an advice submission from someone who feels like everyone else has tight knit friends except for them. Enjoy!
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Flaky friendships are tricky. Sometimes it’s about priorities, sometimes it’s burnout, and sometimes… it’s just poor communication. In this rapid-fire Q+A, I’m answering your questions about what it really means when friends flake — and how to tell the difference between a friendship worth saving and one that’s run its course. Thank you to everyone who submitted on Instagram! (https://www.instagram.com/afhayes)
This episode was actually recorded six months ago as a bonus I never released (I'm sorry), but it’s still relevant today. Whether you’re hurt by a friend who keeps canceling or you’re the one who flakes and feels guilty about it, there’s something here for you.
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Soooo, my husband bribed me to run a 10K for diamond earrings. That's SIX POINT FOUR MILES! But this episode isn’t really about running. It’s about love, discomfort, and doing things you’re not good at…on purpose. In this episode of Hello Hayes, we talk about why I said yes to something I hate, what it means to show interest in your partner’s world, and why it's worth stepping outside your comfort zone. Whether you're a runner or not, this one’s for anyone who’s ever avoided something just because they might fail.
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In this episode of Hello Hayes, I'm unpacking one of the most common — and surprisingly complicated — questions I get when I tell people I moved across the country: "Have you made a lot of friends?" I share why that question trips me up, how my answer has evolved after moving to a new city, and why focusing on the amount of friendships might not be the most helpful way to think about building your life. Whether you're trying to make new friends, feeling stuck socially, or rethinking what friendship even means, this episode is for you.
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In this episode, I tell you all about why Brian and I decided to adopt a dog and give you an honest recap of what the first week has been like. We dive into the wonderful parts...and the parts that are truly scaring the shit out of me.
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