History Improv’ed

How did England’s upstart navy devastate the mighty Spanish Armada? Why did the loss upset the global world order for the next 350 years? And as the world’s most powerful, richest man, how annoying must King Philip II have been for Queen Elizabeth I to not let him put a ring on it?   Links To Further Yer Book-Learnin’   Queen Elizabeth I (1533–1603) was Queen of England and Ireland for 45 years. She was cray-cray for Sir William Raleigh, but remained a virgin her whole life. Or so the Royal Marketers say.   King Philip II (1527–1598), also known as Philip the Prudent, was a real resume padder: King of Spain; King of Portugal; King of Naples and Sicily; jure uxoris King of England and Ireland; Duke of Milan; and Lord of the Seventeen Provinces of the Netherlands. His dad still wasn’t impressed.   Charles Howard (1536–1624), was known as Lord Howard of Effingham. Was this because of his royal title, or a love for ham, or a reputation for over-acting?   Sir Francis Drake (1540–1596) was an English explorer, privateer, and naval hero who circumnavigated the world from 1577 to 1580. But if you’re signing up for the Drake Disciples fan club, he also joined in slaving voyages, soooo…   Hernán Cortés de Monroy y Pizarro Altamirano (1485–1547) was a Spanish conquistador who’s synonymous with the saying “burn your ships.” Which might explain why there’s no Cortes Caribbean Cruises.   Ferdinand Magellan (1480–1521) was the Portuguese explorer who planned and led the first circumnavigation of the planet. Flat-Earthers are not fans.   The Habsburg Monarchy ruled big chunks of Europe from 1282 to 1918. The family dynamic was super-juicy, and ripe fare for a telenovela.   The Portuguese Empire (1415-1999) was made up of overseas colonies, factories, and territories. By the early 16th century the empire stretched across every continent that didn’t have a South Pole.   The Holy Roman Empire was officially the Holy Roman Empire of the German Nation. But for its almost 1,000 years, only geeks called it that.   The Ottoman Empire, better known as the Turkish Empire, spanned much of Southeast Europe, West Asia, and North Africa from the 14th to early 20th centuries. It could have ruled more, but its leaders kept stopping to put their feet up.   Martin Luther (1483–1546) was the seminal figure of the Protestant Reformation as the author of the Ninety-Five Theses. Apparently nobody told him he only needed to write one to finish his undergrad.   The encomienda was a Spanish labor system that rewarded conquerors with the labor of non-Christian peoples. The laborers were supposed to benefit from the conquerors’ military protection, who made them an offer they couldn’t refuse.   The British Royal Navy fought the French-Spanish fleet in The Battle of Trafalgar on Oct. 21, 1805. Outnumbered and outgunned, Lord Nelson steered his ships into the enemy fleet’s flank in a brilliant maneuver. This earned him a 20-0 ship-sinking rout, and later to H.I. history expert Matt Roberto’s man crush.   The Age of Exploration (15th to 17th Century), a.k.a The Age of Discovery, mostly overlapped with the Age of Sail. Can you historians just pick a name, already?

How did the Paris Commune of 1871 change the course of French history and of global communism? Did Patrice de Mac-Mahon scheme his way out of being a soldier sidekick to Napoleon III? And who really made the biggest Impression?   Links To Further Yer Book-Learnin’   The Paris Commune of 1871 was a French revolution that seized power in Paris through the spring of 1871, bringing a socialist, anti-religious flare to that year’s fashion show.   Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels were communist academics who had no role in the Paris Commune. But conservatives made Marx famous as the commune’s bushy bearded bogeyman.   General Patrice de Mac-Mahon (1808-1893) defeated the Paris Commune of 1871 at the head of the Versailles Army. He went from first sidekick to second president of the Third French Republic.   Mikhail Alexandrovich Bakunin (1814–1876) was a Russian revolutionary anarchist who is among the most influential figures of anarchism. Rumors that he inspired The Sex Pistols’ song “Anarchy in the U.K.” are starting here.    The Hague Congress (2–7 Sep. 1872) was the fifth congress of the International Workingmen's Association (a.k.a. The International), in The Hague, Netherlands. The Congress was dominated by a philosophical tug of war between Bakunin and Marx. The International broke up after they all got philosophical rope burns.   Napoleon III (Charles-Louis Napoléon Bonaparte; 1808-1873) was the first president of France (1848-1852), and the last monarch of France as Emperor of the French (1852-1870). His dad was the King of Holland and his uncle was Napoleon I, so he was more of a Nepo-leon. Ah, nepotism. But he did bring modern farming to France.   Oscar-Claude Monet (1840–1926) was a French painter and founder of impressionism. Sadly, we will never get to hear his Christopher Walken.   Louis Charles Delescluze (1809–1871) was a French revolutionary leader, journalist, and military commander of the Paris Commune. At first, his pen was mightier than the sword. Unfortunately for him, the French Army came back with guns, and shot him dead.

What led Caesar to cross the Rubicon River? Why was it such a big deal? And was Pompey really that great? Trent Edwards and Steve Fait are joined by Lee Uniacke for an improvised history that follows Caesar and friends on their fateful journey, which may require a stop for snacks. Trent and Steve then interview history teacher Matt Roberto about what actually happened.   Links To Further Yer Book-Learnin’   Julius Caesar (Gaius Julius Caesar) c. 12 July 100 BC – 15 March 44 BC was one of the all-time great generals, empire-builders, and quote-givers while being murdered. Caesar crossed the Rubicon Jan. 10, 49 BCE.   Pompey the Great (Gnaeus Pompeius Magnus) c. 29 Sept. 106 – 28 Sept. 48 BC was a powerful Roman statesman and general.   The Battle of Philippi was the final battle in the Liberators' civil war between the forces of Mark Antony and Octavian (of the Second Triumvirate) and the leaders of Julius Caesar's assassination, Brutus and Cassius, in 42 BC, at Philippi in Macedonia.   Cicero (Marcus Tullius Cicero) c. 3 Jan. 106 BC – 7 Dec. 43 BC was a Roman statesman and gifted orator.   Marius (Gaius Marius) c. 157 BC – 13 January 86 BC was a Roman general and statesman who held the office of consul a record seven times.   Sulla (Lucius Cornelius Sulla Felix) c. 138–78 BC was the first man of the Roman Republic to seize power by force.   Crassus (Marcus Licinius Crassus) c. 115 – 53 BC is often referred to as "the richest man in Rome".   Savor the sweet history of cannoli.   Ireland gets potatoes in 1589.   Cleopatra (Cleopatra VII Thea Philopator) c. 70/69 BC – 10 Aug. 30 BC was Queen of the Ptolemaic Kingdom of Egypt from 51 to 30 BC, and a heckuva kisser.   The Battle of Pharsalus was the decisive battle of Caesar's Civil War fought on 9 August 48 BC near Pharsalus in Central Greece.   A Roman circus was one of the top choices for ancient entertainment.   P.T. Barnum (Phineas Taylor Barnum) c. July 5, 1810 – April 7, 1891 was  a showman and a scammer famous for co-founding the Ringling Bros and Barnum & Bailey Circus.

How did San Francisco handle one of the biggest natural disaster haymakers in North America’s history? How did scientists gauge the strength of the earthquake in these days before the Richter scale? And at the turn of the 20th Century, was the dreamy Mayor of San Francisco more obsessed with pizza or dim sum? Trent Edwards and Steve Fait are joined by Scott Borden for an unavoidably shaky improv set filled with foodies, fitness, and fireworks. Trent and Steve then interview Jamie O’Keefe, curator for the San Francisco Fire Department Museum, about what actually happened.   Links To Further Yer Book-Learnin’   The California Academy’s history of The Great San Francisco Earthquake and Fire of 1906.    How did Chinatown overcome its destruction and a 1906 San Francisco rebuilding committee’s attempt to relocate Chinese-Americans?   How does the Richter Scale work?   The story behind the phoenix on San Francisco’s city and fire department seals.   How long did it take San Francisco to improve its fire codes after the Great Fire of 1906?   Enrico Caruso (25 February 1873 – 2 August 1921), an Italian operatic tenor, defended his actions during the quake in an article.   Eugene “Handsome Gene” Schmitz, was under the thumb of corrupt city boss Abe Ruef. Not baseball hero Babe Ruth. Phew!   Dennis Sullivan was the San Francisco Fire Department Chief in 1906.   The Panama-Pacific International Exposition of 1915.   The collapse of the Old City Hall of San Francisco.   The TransAmerica Pyramid is a skyscraper built to survive big earthquakes.   The Pacific Ring of Fire.   The Palace Hotel.

Who bombed Wall Street? Why was all the evidence swept away literally overnight? Trent Edwards and Steve Fait are joined by Scott Borden for a bombing-inspired improv set that may include a nitroglycerine chaser for meatloaf. Trent and Steve then interview history expert Randy Baker about what actually happened. Further Book Smarts Inspired By This Episode The Wall Street Bombing of 1920 rocked the financial district of Manhattan, New York City, on Sep. 16, 1920 at 12:01 p.m. Its investigation was handled by the predecessor to the FBI. John Pierpont “Jack” or “JP” Morgan Jr. (Sep. 7, 1867 – March 13, 1943) was heir to the JP Morgan fortune and head of JP Morgan & Co. after the death of his father in 1913. William Hammond Remick (Oct. 14, 1866 – March 9, 1922) was president of the New York Stock Exchange during the 1920 Wall Street bombing.  Mario Buda (Oct. 13, 1883 – June 1, 1963) was an Italian anarchist with the militant American Galleanists in the late 1910s.  The 1920 World Series was actually played three weeks after the Wall Street Bombing, with the Cleveland Indians beating the Brooklyn Robins. The Wall Street Panic of 1893, (May-Nov. 1893) included a run on currency, and closures of banks and businesses who didn’t have cash to pay their workers. Laissez-faire Capitalism in American History — Laissez-faire capitalism, where the government plays a minimal role in the economy, dominated the Gilded Age. The US Federal Government was lax in its regulation of the stock market throughout the 1920s before the legendary crash of 1929. Before the stock market crash of 1929, stocks quadrupled in value during the 1920s. Congress gave women the right to vote in August, 1920, when it ratified the 19th Amendment to the US Constitution. The Progressive Era c. 1896–1917 featured widespread social activism and political reform across the US to combat corruption, monopoly, waste, and inefficiency.  Trust-busting — Trust-busting was meant to break the near monopolies of major corporations in the Gilded Age. By 1928, 24% of the nation’s wealth was held by just 1% of the population. President Theodore Roosevelt earned the nickname of the Trust Buster President, initiating the era of Trust Busting by enforcing the Sherman Antitrust Act. In 2023, more than one-quarter of all household wealth, 26.5%, belonged to Americans who earn enough money to rank in the top percentile by income, according to Federal Reserve statistics through mid-2023. Anybody seen Teddy Roosevelt lately?