Horny For Life

Have you ever been to couples therapy? Dr. Alexandra Soloman, a licensed clinical psychologist, and I discuss what it’s like to be on the other side of the couch, toxic relationship patterns, and how to balance self-development work with reality. Most people have heard of couples therapy, could benefit from it at some point in their relationship, yet likely have never been to a session. Between the societal stigma and misconceptions about it, it’s not surprising that couples therapy is often considered the last resort to save a partnership. In our conversation, Dr. Alexandra shares what to expect when visiting a therapist with your partner, how she approaches it as the one facilitating the experience, and why it’s not scary. So much of couples therapy as a psychologist isn’t acting as a referee or judging, but rather inviting people to listen differently to each other. Dr. Alexandra talks about how to navigate relational ambivalence, AKA whether a couple should stay together or not, and how to grow in your relationship as you dig deeper in your own self-actualization work. She challenges the idea that everything must constantly be improving and offers strategies for getting comfortable with non-linear growth. We also discuss the four communication patterns that emerge behind most couples that continue on to divorce (and once you know them, they are easy to spot). Finally, we wrap up by diving into relationship superpowers and growth edges. Topics Covered:How a psychologist approaches couples therapy What to consider when you ask the question, “Should I stay or should I go?” Tools to decide if a relationship is worth working onUnderstanding and addressing “The Four Horsemen” patterns: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and StonewallingReframing weaknesses as “growing edges” and how to use them to your advantage About Alexandra SolomanWebsite: dralexandrasolomon.comInstagram: @dr.alexandra.solomanPodcast: Reimagining LoveNewsletter: sign up hereFollow Me:Instagram: @afinehuman Shop Dame: dame.com This podcast was produced by The Wave Podcasting

My very special guest today is my grandmother, Rochelle Dreeben. Her experience surviving and escaping Poland after World War II has been immensely informative. She has taught me so much about pleasure and peace, and I’m very happy to introduce you to her.A few years after Rochelle was born, the Nazis bombed the Warsaw Ghetto where she lived. She recalls how the Nazis took away the rights of Jews, and people began to disappear. As a child, her strongest memories are loneliness, hunger, and extreme tension. She recalls how her parents made one brave decision after another. Her stories from this time are remarkable, filled with courage, and just… incredible.  Rochelle’s favorite things now, which are almost certainly directly inspired by her childhood experiences, are movement and peace. No matter the commotion around her, Rochelle will always be composed, at ease, and very likely smiling. Living an aligned life has much to do with knowing and understanding your ancestors' stories, and I count my blessings that I am so deeply connected to mine. There’s a lot to be proud of. Topics Covered:Rochelle’s Holocaust experience Surviving the Warsaw GhettoExodus through war torn PolandQuest for personal peaceRochelle Dreeben:Buy Rochelle’s memoir,  One Dark Night Follow Me:Instagram: @afinehuman Shop Dame: dame.com This podcast was produced by The Wave Podcasting

Talking about gender can get very serious very quickly, but my guest, Rae McDaniel, squashes that. They are all about reinfusing gender with play, possibility, and pleasure. They show us how in their amazing book, Gender Magic, and share some of their gender wisdom with me today. For Rae, gender magic asks how each of us can discover who we are and express our magic to the world in a way that doesn’t send her suffering. This requires a healthy dose of softening boundaries, doing away with rigid definitions, and eliminating dichotomies. Instead, we must engage in one of the biggest adult taboos: play! Silly is subversive! No matter your gender and how comfortable you are with your gender, there is always something to be learned through gender play.We then get into power stuff: exploring feminine power, masculine power, and how even striving to activate more power within oneself can be a gendered motivation. Nothing is inherently feminine or masculine. These are ideas from which we get to decide what the words mean to us as individuals.  One of my favorite things about Rae is that their ideas are rooted in the real world. Theory and sharing thoughts within our circles are well and good, but that is not the world. I guarantee you will learn something from this convo. Also, don’t forget to buy their book! Topics Covered:The unsexy/sexy process of titling Gender MagicThe play, possibility, and pleasure of gender play together How gender identity and power can interact, support, and contradict each other Feeling good as a style compassReleasing gender and affirming through gender About Rae McDanielInstagram: @theraemcdaniel Website: rae-mcdaniel.comBuy Gender Magic: Hachette Book Group Follow Me:Instagram: @afinehuman Shop Dame: dame.com This podcast was produced by The Wave Podcasting

Let’s talk about sex as we age! I am so excited to share this conversation with Maryjane Fahey, creator of Glorious Broads and all-around bad b*tch. Maryjane is 74 and has never felt more alive. The revolution of openly curious women is on the rise, and I’m living for it! Curious about sexuality, open marriage, sobriety, both having kids and not having kids… it’s all about opening up communication with yourself and with the people you’re in relationship with. Especially as women, we crave intergenerational friendships. Most of Maryjane’s audience is younger, 25-45, and love hearing her debunk myths about growing old. We absolutely don’t shrivel up and become irrelevant; we absolutely still want sex and can feel sexy, and we absolutely can live pleasure-filled lives!Maryjane shares the juice on sexuality as we age. Once pregnancy is removed as an option after menopause, pleasure is at the forefront. If we choose, there can be the liberation of not needing the next partner or spouse, just the next wonderful person to be with. Power is no longer a performance. This one will leave you feeling inspired and hot, no matter how old or young you are!Topics Covered:Feeling lively AF at 74Maryjane’s daily practices to connect with joy and pleasureThe rise of curious women!Sexuality as we ageOn being anti-retirementMenopause and hormonesResources Mentioned:Instagram: @wednesdaymartinphdHormone Studies: What Went Wrong? About Maryjane FaheyGlorious BroadsInstagram: @gloriousbroadsTikTok: @gloriousbroads Follow Me:Instagram: @afinehuman Shop Dame: dame.coThis podcast was produced by The Wave Podcasting

In this episode, I’m joined by the effervescent Solonje Burnett, who exists at the intersection of community, wellness, and weed. Solonje uses her platforms to speak to weed education and interconnectedness in a genuinely inspiring and joyous way.There are many parallels between how our society indiscriminately labels sexual pleasure and weed as a sin or something to be ashamed of when actually both are healing modalities. We discuss what makes up a conscious, healthy relationship with weed. It's essential to stay in conversation with your body and yourself about how you’re using weed as a tool for connection or escape, for example, and not avoidance or numbing out. Our society promotes a lot of misconceptions, traumas, and lies around cannabis use, so when we do finally feel comfortable smoking, sometimes our identities, such as mom or leader, can feel jeopardized. For Solonje, smoking weed brings out her most playful and raw form and gets rid of the desire to perform. For her and most people, we become more present, open, and creative when we’re high and less guarded and secretive.Solonje’s company, Weed Auntie, focuses on weed education and provides many types of services and events for small groups, like tea parties, to large organizations, like Soho House. All carried out with Solonje’s beautiful language of interconnectedness and inclusivity to show that weed is all types of people and all types of things. She also launched Erven in October 2023, a tech company that facilitates the exchange of sales performance data from cannabis retailers’ POS systems to brands. Naturally, we wrap by chatting about weed and sex as relates to body, mind, and sexual products. Ultimately, responsible smoking is a valid choice and one that calls for more play and pleasure in life. By the end of this conversation, Solonje helped me to feel confident enough to claim that weed helps me be my best self!Topics Covered:Conscious, responsible weed-smokingWorking through the stigma and shame of cannabis consumption as a woman, mom and business leader Cannabis in the workplace and upholding our humanitySolonje’s businesses, Weed Auntie and ErvenWeed and pleasure!Reflecting on our relationship with alcohol THC breaks Resources Mentioned: Daye CBD Tampons Foria Quim About Solonje BurnettInstagram: @solonjeburnettSolonje Burnett: solonjeburnett.comErven: erven.aiFollow Me:Instagram: @afinehuman Shop Dame: dame.com This podcast was produced by The Wave Podcasting

How weird can we get? I speak with the super groovy and wise head witch in charge at Holisticism, Michelle Pellizzon-Lipsitz, about staying true to our art and magic in this big, strange capitalist world.  Michelle’s approach to business merges magic, whimsy, art, and an anthropological curiosity about existence. Past experiences of seizures, hearing voices, and trying to “fix” what seemed wrong solidified that life is not black and white. Rules are always an interpretation, there are always more answers, possibilities, and discoveries. From these ashes rose Holisticism.We get into how operating creatively within capitalism is not innate, what balancing compromise with sacrifice could actually look like, and a whole lot of other things that seem like opposites (i.e. spellwork and marketing). Staying focused within systems that tell us what we want isn’t possible sometimes feels overwhelming, but through tools like ritual, spellwork, and systems, there really can be balance among all that chaos. Humans have actually been practicing ritual and spellwork since forever, it's just been called by so many different names. Michelle breaks down each component of a spell, and I was surprised by just how flexible and personalized intentional magic can be. Ultimately meaning-making is a structure to help us understand our own minds. You both are and you aren’t the same as your business. You may nourish and cultivate it, but it is not your baby. Let’s remove the singular, concrete labels and instead celebrate that our identities are infinite.Topics Covered:Holisticism for intuitive small business ownersCreativity within capitalismHow to make a spell + Michelle’s favorite rituals Spiderweb thinking vs. linear thinkingPerfectionism is closer to mediocrity than failureAbout Michelle Pellizzon-LipsitzInstagram: @michellepellizzonlipsitzHolisticism: holisticism.comFollow Me:Instagram: @afinehuman Shop Dame: dame.com This podcast was produced by The Wave Podcasting

Excited/intimidated/thrilled by the idea of an orgasmic birth? Me too. I spoke with orgasmic birth doula Debra Pascali-Bonaro about the dire need to put joy, love, and ecstasy back into the birth experience. Debra’s journey centers around transgressing the medical system’s authority on what birth should look like and instead encouraging women to let their own bodies and babies be the guide. The system isn’t all bad, but it leads from pain and fear instead of uplifting the birth experience. This is deeply evident from how birth is managed in hospital rooms to the birthing language itself. Debra widens my understanding of an orgasmic birth to include not just a potential birthgasm, which can really help the baby come out, but also the experience of your baby being between worlds, first feeling your baby against your skin and looking in their eyes, and the many pleasurable moments in between. After all, birth is on the same continuum as sexuality. Pleasure keeps the hormones flowing. Debra emphasizes that we need to take the time for pleasure practices every day because we birth the way we live. Topics Covered:Putting joy, love, and ecstasy back into birthOrgasmic birth, the birthgasm, and all of the pleasureThe pleasure and pain of my own birth experienceSex and birth continuum Pregnancy is a time for healing and sexualityPleasure practicesShifting illness-based birth language to a more pleasureful oneResources Mentioned:DONA International: Doula training and doula certificationsOrgasmic Birth MovieGuest Info: Debra Pascali-Bonaro | websiteOrgasmic Birth | InstagramOrgasmic Birth | podcastFollow Me:Instagram: @afinehuman Shop Dame: dame.comThis podcast was produced by The Wave Podcasting

Welcome to Horny for Life! I’m Al. I live at the intersection of business, taboo and wellness. I’m a trained psychologist, sex toy inventor, mom, running a multi-million dollar sexual wellness company.On this podcast, I’m joined by dynamic humans who approach life with curiosity and courage, people who embrace the idea of paving their own path. The stories we share might challenge your beliefs or inspire you to think in a new way. That’s what we’re here to do. I want to know what makes people feel good. I want to know what alignment looks like. I want to know what makes people feel uncomfortable and push on the bruises. Join me on this audio therapy session. I’m horny for life, and soon you will be too.Follow Me:Instagram: @afinehuman Shop Dame: dame.com