Hot Mess Mil MomS

Before you sign on to a task or commit to something, you want to do your research. Before joining the Army or becoming an Army spouse, you talk to a recruiter. You also watch movies or shows or Google some points. Or you do something else entirely. You soon discover, after signing that red, white, and blue line, that all of your "research" was bullsh!t. You made assumptions as a civilian about the military, like most do. Even as a spouse, most continue to have those misunderstandings. We see them with their posts and "Aw Honey" questions everyday on social media. We clear up our most commonly heard misconceptions of the Army life.

We are back after a missed week. This was due to extreme amounts of Gatorade and chicken soup. Veronica braved the PCS drama! Join us as we catch up on our parenting hell, favorite screenshots, mover drama, and general f$ckery of the week. Excuse the technical difficulties as we venture into new territory of long distance podcasting. Still working out the bugs.

First you get the soldier, then you get the Tricare, then you get the Charger! We all face the daunting battle of who has it harder. Does a SAH parrent or a working parent face more struggles? Women especially, will tear each other apart on a social media post over this topic. Well, we are not falling into that trap today, but unless you have been both, you really do not have a say. In the military world, we have a term for any unemployed spouse. You are either a dependo or a dependa. You cannot just be any unemployed spouse. There are certain characteristics you must have. We begin with a special dependo. Let us just call him loving E4.

I'll take Army jibberish for $500 Alex! There are acronyms for almost everything. They are used to abbreviate, save time, save energy, save ink, whatever else is needed to save! If you do not understand what they mean, they are completely useless. As we nod and smile while our soldiers talk, we are clueless. Today we play a little educational game of "Guess the acronym!" Maybe you learn a little something with us? Maybe you know everything, and find out we are idiots? Either way, laugh and enjoy the f$ckery with us as we take the next step in becoming informed milspouses!

Army is a language all in it's own! You wanna be supportive, and listen. What do you do when you have no clue what they are talking about? Just nod and wave. Smile and look pretty haha! There are things we have to know, such as unit or phone numbers, but there are things we really do not need to have to have stored in our brains. How many tanks are running. Why they need to have QRS's to get the LMN's to the color numbers, and have the accountability to the dude in the AM. If none of that made sense to you, you are not alone because that is how it all sounds to us!

It's the not so secret lives of dependa wives today! Reviews and reactions are important. There are many sites out there with business reviews. We look, read, and make judgements based on these reviews. Whether you are researching the next base to move to, because you are delusional or fresh and think we actually get to choose, or trying to choose a realtor (that is not full of drama). There is one other source that many do not think about, and that is social media. How you present yourself on a personal level, reflects your professional side as well. Join us as we dive into the fresh hell brewing around businesses spiraling, because owners and employees just can't stop commenting.

It's been a rough week for us hot mess moms! This week's episode was one of no scripts, and just chatting about life! Our highs and lows in the military, some laughable screenshots of the week, and just random giggles about the fuckery of life. Enjoy our laid back time, and much needed R & R!

When we were kids, we hated being told what to do. Teachers, coaches, parents, and all adults had rules, lessons, advice, and guidance instructing us on how to live life. They gave us this instruction from the moment we woke to the time we ended our day. Now as adults, we have no clue what to do half of the time...... unless you're a soldier! Lucky assholes! As spouses, some of us have careers and know exactly what path to travel every time we move. Some of us just find the next McDonalds to apply to. Some just search for the couch to buy with his/her star card for our bonbon munching while we build our MLM. Those that are left are trying to better our paths, and grow. Whether you're navigating education, improving or figuring out the clusterfuck of federal resumes, or decipher the USAJobs, we are chatting about it today!

Volunteering in the military ie the FRG’s, much like democracy, spandex, and the Facebook, things began with good intentions, and then it’s just spiraled downhill and ended with Kamala/ Trump, one size fits all, and spouse groups. Whether you watched Army Wives or watched Mean Girls, you are gonna relate and pretty much know what it’s like to volunteer in the army. Trying to make friends in the military can be touch and go, but volunteering in the right program is a much better avenue than making a friends post! Join us today as we serve up a fresh hell not just in parenting, but also in friendship and serving your military community!

We most definitely aren't within the animal limits on post. If I was to jump on this bandwagon, my furbabies would identify as humans. Petey believes he popped from my meatbox as every night he tries climbing up into my uteral region. Snuggles way too close. Not sure about yours, but our pets cost way too much joyfully, and if we could, we'd write them off on our taxes! We gladly use our entitlement, and take those military discounts at Petsmart, but our dependa-ness stops there. Not for many though. We get the dependapotamus nickname because of many spouses screaming self pity and me me me everywhere! Cue the pteredactyl sounds!

Ain't Banboozlin' Ya! We had a hog killin' time making this episode just chewing the fat about the clusterfuck of why everybody wants to be in charge of the most meaningless of haberdasheries, the dangers of addle headed postal workers, and why people get so ackocked when their identities are stolen! Let's not forget about those ajeed neighbors who take advantage of these barkin' at the knot sicheeatchions! I know I'm just all the caboose right now, but as you can tell, we have a bit of a wild west theme this week!

This week was definitely proof that we are hot mess moms! From family busting in, to shit face Disney time, to the houses falling down around us. That's just part of life though not just as military spouses, but as parents in general. Join us as we bullsh!t about handling the bills, how we track the kids, why our housing company needs to step it up, and why we didn't keep the ho clothes. Don't forget to subscribe, and click for notifications. Share if you know someone who needs a good laugh, cuz we are here to make YOU feel normal.

Mayday Mayday! You must panic, but there's no emergency! This is only a test! Welcome back to another week of our hot mess military life of parenting, trolling, spousing, and fuckery. We picked our favorite posts. We wanna know why Zuckerberg won't let us cuss. We are praying for those affected by the hurricane. See!?! We are sensitive!

Things are always a little different in the military whether you're grocery shopping, in the PTO, or scrolling through social media. Today I return to the podcast world with a fabulous co-host to discuss the drama and funny side of being a milspouse with all its fuckery!