How Not To Suck At Divorce

Alright, here's one of Andrea's least favorite topics...but probably the most important: the parenting agreement. Below are the show notes for a special re air episode, all about the parenitng agreement.    Remember, our Divorce Crash Course holds your hand through ALL of the important decisions you make during your divorce process. Grab you DCC, right here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course for only $97, you can save up to THOUSANDS and avoid making MAJOR mistakes. The cost of our crash course includes 5 short videos, which are wildly informative and entertaining (if we do say so ourselves) AND includes a printable guidebook, that has mental health break exercises built in! ***********   We're getting into some real, REAL stuff in this episode. This is one of the biggest concerns our listeners have so we wanted to dedicate an entire episode to how to put your kids first in your parenting agreement. Today, we have therapist Dr. Malissa Tigges with us to talk about how to create a parenting agreement that prioritizes the welfare of your kids. Dr. Tigges is a licensed clinical and forensics psychologist with over 10 years of experience working as a psychotherapist and an evaluator. She helps people make the best decisions possible when developing their parenting agreements. Dr. Tigges, Morgan and Andrea answer: What do divorcing couples need to understand when putting together their parenting agreement? How to design the parenting agreement so it's appropriate at each age of the children. The biggest mistake divorcing couples make when creating their parenting agreement. What is the main difference of a parenting plan that involves a younger child vs. a teenager? Can you modify a parenting agreement? Who should you consult with to ensure your parenting agreement is the best for your child? Should you open the parenting agreement email after having a few drinks? What is co-parenting therapy and is it necessary? What do you do when your rights are being violated during the divorce process when you're drafting the parenting agreement? What's the best schedule for co-parenting? 50/50? Week on, week off? Every other weekend? The answer may upset you, but it's important to understand. Is there wiggle room in a parenting agreement if there's a special trip or long weekend planned? Dr. Tigges also shares her absolute "must-dos". Here is where you can connect with Dr. Tigges: @drmalissatigges on instagram, tiktok and facebook Dr. Tigges is licensed in Florida but if you're not in Florida, your state may allow you to do telehealth with Dr. Tigges so if you need guidance, reach out! Also- Our Family Wizard is here to help make your coparenting journey a whole lot easier. To learn more about them and to get access to an article that we cowrote, visit them at: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Today’s episode is about something we get asked about A LOT - recording your ex. The truth of the matter is there are some major things you MUST think about before hitting that record button, and yes, EVEN if your attorney suggests it. However, there is a time & a place for capturing what you need to help your divorce proceeding.  We answer:  What legally admissible means and how it applies to you When we would recommend you recording your ex What does it mean in your state? Is it legal? And what does it mean? When would it be appropriate to record and when would it not be? And, why we LOVE Ring doorbells (not sponsored...yet..hit us up, Ring!) This episode is not only insightful but a resource for you that you may need at some point & we want to equip you with the information you need. And remember, Our Family Wizard is here to help you with your coparenting journey. To learn more about Our Family Wizard, please go check them out, you'll also get access to a special (and funny) article we co wrote with them!! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck Do you have the Divorce Crash Course??? It's going to help you- BIG TIME. https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course You've got this, friends, and we've got you!

Friend, let’s be real, we know that you're tired of pretending that everything is okay. We know that your gut is telling you that your marriage is not going to work. So, now what??? If you have EVER wondered: "What do I do if I think I want a divorce?" - this episode is for you.  If you're considering divorce but don't know where to begin, this episode is for you.  If you're just miserable in your marriage, but feel stuck, this episode is for you.  Don't forget: The DCC is here to help you save up to THOUSANDS on your divorce AND help you avoid making MAJOR mistakes. Get The Divorce Crash Course HERE! Join our private community: Here! And remember, Our Family Wizard is here to help you make coparenting easier. Believe us, you want to check them out: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck This podcast was designed to give you information, entertainment and empathy as you embark on the divorce process.  We know that divorce is hard. We know that it's a long and draining process. We also know that life is so much better on the other side.  Don't give up. Everyone deserves to be happy.  You've got this and we've got you.    

With divorce, there are things that you might feel you have zero control over, right?  Maybe you’ve thought before, “My attorney's not fighting me.”  OR maybe you're frustrated that your attorney's bills are insanely high and you wish there was SOMETHING you could do so save money. Friend: I hope you listen to this episode with an open mind because we are going to give you very concrete steps that you can take to help your attorney help YOU so that you can make the most out of your attorney. And, if you haven't grabbed our DCC yet, go get it here. DCC = Divorce Crash Course Divorce Crash Course In today’s episode, we cover-  -Saving money -Getting your attorney to fight for you  -Supplying your attorney with the necessary information to really get the best outcome for your case -Why it’s important to pay your bill on time -Why it’s important to stick to the FACTS and leave your emotions out of it  -A clear example of what it looks like to HELP your attorney HELP you  Andrea asks some JUICY questions to Morgan, that you don’t want to miss! And remember, Soberlink is here to help you if you're concerned about a coparent's alcohol use. Save $50 off your device and learn more here: https://www.soberlink.com/notsuck Join our private community, we'd love to have! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

In today’s episode, boooooy did we shed some light on the top asked questions when navigating a divorce. From the quirky laws about eavesdropping, (did you know in Illinois recording someone on the phone without consent is a no-go but in public, it’s fair game?), to seeking multiple opinions like you would for a tricky medical condition – this episode has it all.  And here's your place to grab access to the DCC: The Divorce Crash Course, yes, you need this! :The Divorce Crash Course  And hey, for those wondering about GALs and child representatives in custody battles, we've got the lowdown right here. In this episode we answer:  HOW to tell your spouse you want a divorce (and the big reason why we suggest NOT doing it on a weekend) What to do when you feel like your spouse has been hiding finances and is it worth it to continue digging?  Trial separations before filing! Doing the right thing or putting off the inevitable?  GAL - what it is and the role that it serves  How do you know if a GAL is going to help or hurt your case? When do you advocate that you want one? Do you say “I want one”, or is it something that you wait for a judge to slap on to your case?  Difference between GAL child rep - How would you know when you need one and not the other? Who does a GAL speak to and who does a GAL not speak to? And is a GAL the same thing as a custody evaluator? Are they going to come into my home and see what my home looks like?  What does parental alienation actually mean?  What happens if your ex records your conversations? Are they allowed to do this? How late is too late is too switch attorneys?  Experience requesting an order from the judge  I promise we’re in your corner and here for you and remember, you’ve got this and we’ve got you! **And remember, if alcohol use is a concern with safe parenting time, then Soberlink is a tool you need in your toolbox. Learn more and save $50 off your device here: https://www.soberlink.com/notsuck *** To join our private community, head here: The How Not to Suck at Divorce Community

Oooooh friend - today you are in for an absolute TREAT. We (Andrea & Morgan) uncover the 5 BIGGEST MISTAKES that we see happening when it comes to getting divorced. AND, to put the cherry on top, you can get even more access to these topics and so much more "hands on help" with: The Divorce Crash Course.  Literally - this will be your divorce playbook. You want this crash course, you need this crash course. And, like we said in the show, we priced this guide at a low pricepoint so it's accessable to everyone. Most divorce "courses" are hundreds of dollars and take HOURS to complete. Our crash course is different.  We also made sure that your privacy is protected. The credit card charge shows up as "DCC150", so nothing about divorce is mentioned.  There's also an Afterpay option, so you can pay in installments. And if you're on the fence about getting divorced: This course will help you.  Okay, here's the link: ➡️ https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course ⬅️   In this episode, we cover some of the goods inside of the The Divorce Crash Course including: Hiring a divorce attorney Kids and the mistakes that people make when it comes to kids If you should sell your house Communication with your ex (Andrea’s personal fav)  How to NOT rush through signing those important documents ************* And if you're concered about your coparent's alcohol use, Soberlink can help: https://www.soberlink.com/notsuck. This link will give you more information and a coupon for $50 off your device.  And please join our private community for more support! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

In today’s episode, we have a very first for this podcast & an incredibly special guest - Retired Los Angeles Judge Dianna Gould-Saltman. That’s right - a VERY recently retired divorce judge! (who BTW, has divorced several celebrity couples) Let's face it- nobody wants to go to court. It’s just not a fun experience. If you're navigating the divorce process, going before the judge is likely a step that you are trying to avoid for several reasons. But for one reason or another, it happens for a lot of divorcing couples.  So, what do you do you to get the judge "on your side"??? In this episode you’ll learn:  * An easy thing you can do to help yourself get in the right headspace for court  * What do to and not to do when you’re actually in front of the judge in court  * Does it matter if the judge *knows* the attorney who’s representing you or your spouse * What are some mistakes that Judge Dianna saw in her courtroom over and over  *What's a "private divorce"?? If you’re going through this nasty thing called divorce and ready to learn how to prepare for court in the eyes of a retired divorce judge…this epiosode is for YOU.  AND! If you're wanting to hire Judge Dianna Gould- Saltman as your mediator or your private judge...guess what? You can do that! Find her here: https://signatureresolution.com/neutral-CPT/hon-dianna-gould-saltman-ret/ And friends, if your case is going into court then you likely need some more emotional support. Look no futher than our private community. You can find it right here: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity ********** Do you know about Our Family Wizard?? Because if not, you really need to go sign up for their newsletter. Our Family Wizard makes coparenting A LOT easier by helping you organize your calenders, expenses, AND monitor communications : and best part, it's looked upon HIGHLY in the courts as a way to help families do divorce better. To learn more, go to: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

In today’s episode, as crappy as it is - we talk about when the abuse gets worse during divorce. It’s not a fun topic, but we would be doing you a disservice if we didn’t talk about it. We bring in Katharine Rupp, a family law attorney based in California, who shares insights on the legal process of divorce, the significance of being organized and prepared for legal battles, and the usefulness of tools like Our Family Wizard app (hollaaa!) in co-parenting and divorce documentation.  Expect to hear strategies for dealing with emotional abuse and conflict, learn the importance of communication and documentation in divorce proceedings, and get practical advice for navigating the divorce process more effectively - as per usual!   Main Takeaways: *Importance of Our Family Wizard - (OFW) is a valuable tool for organizing divorce-related information in one platform *Responding to Attacks (so hard- but DON'T attack back) *Avoid Escalation and Emotional Response (again, so hard) *Documenting and Communicating *Seek Support and Guidance If you want some more information on how to respond to your POS ex, (hee hee) head here: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck   Ask your attorney if Our Family Wizard would be right for your case. In our opinion, it can only help give you the boundaries you deserve.    Join our private community for more support. http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity

Friends. Listen up. You need to make sure that your divorce attorney is going to GUIDE you through the long, winding road that is divorce. Take a listen to the dynamic duo, Sarah Jacobs and Jamie Berger, family law attorneys and owners of Jacobs/Berger LLC, located in Morristown, New Jersey.  Their mission is making the divorce process less nerve-wracking by focusing on the human side, rather than getting caught up in legal battles. Isn’t that what we all want?! (Yes, it is..)  Sarah and Jamie express why it's so importatnt to find a relatable attorney who communicates well, knows your goals, and speaks your language.  Episode highlights: *Jacobs and Bergers’ approach to making divorce less stressful *The concept of redefining the family through non-aggressive strategies *The importance of a divorce attorney understanding and addressing your needs and goals *The necessity for attorneys to be relatable and communicative *Positive outlook on divorce as a new beginning *Being a divorce "tour guide" *A Real Housewives of New Jersey divorce story....(this sh$t is GOOD) If you are in the NJ area and looking for representation- reach out to Sarah & Jamie. Here's the site again : http://www.jacobsberger.com   Aaaaaannnndddd, ya'll - you KNOW you want some glowing skin, who doesn't?? Andrea and Morgan are LOVING their results from Dermamade, and we know that you will, too. This skincare line is so effective and not super $$$. For a limited time, you can save 50% off (which is INSANE) with code AMY50. Head to http://www.dermamade.com And don't forget: Our Family Wizard is here to help make coparenting easier. And if you want some tips on how to communicate in a more effective way that won't make you want to pull out your hair extentions...go to http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck - pop in your email address and you'll get an article from US that maps out a plan for you! Join our private community: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity We love you, we're here for you, you can do this.  Go get yourself a good attorney. 

Okay, let's hash out everything you need to do BEFORE you file for divorce, sounds like fun, huh?  Listen, let us start by saying:  mental preparation is crucial and there is NO perfect time for divorce, and every case is different!  And before we forget, go join our private communities: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadytodivorce This episode helps you get your head straight if you’re thinking about divorce.  You’re going to hear: *The Importance of timing in divorce decisions *Consideration of length of marriage for potential alimony or maintenance *Permanent support after around 20 years of marriage *Setting up for success in the next chapter of life after divorce *Tools for Organizing Expenses and Communication During Divorce *Impact of job loss or significant career advancement on divorce filing and financial implications *Retirement and its impact on support and financial division in divorces later in life *Discussion of prenups, children's ages, length of marriage, employment, and retirement for awareness and discussion with an attorney *Confidential ways to consult a divorce lawyer, such as through advance consultation fees or using a separate credit card *Emotional Support During the Divorce Process *Encouragement to seek professional advice from a divorce attorney to address individual concerns This episode is for you if you are ready to get your head on straight if you are considering or currently navigating the complexities of divorce and seeking expert advice, support, and camaraderie during this challenging time.  And remember: Soberlink is THE tool you need if you suspect alcohol is going to be an issue with safe parenting time. Get $50 off your device by visiting: http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER. To their FREE newsletter AND an article that we cowrote to help you not suck at communicating with your ex, visit: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck Follow us on IG! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

Andrea and Morgan answer the question that you’re probably wondering if you’re going through (or about to go through) a divorce: Will the kids be okay?!  ******* To get FREE tips on coparenting communication (believe us, you'll want this) head to: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck - pop in your email and you'll get access to BONUS tips, direct from Andrea & Morgan. We get real about the impact of divorce on children and invite: Meg, and sisters Eden & Larissa on the show.  They share their personal stories of coming from divorced households, navigating blended families, and the challenges of balancing different parenting styles. This episode gives you insight if you’re contemplating divorce or worried about the effects on your kids. Expect to hear: *Tips on communicating with challenging co-parents and using "Our Family Wizard" for organized co-parenting, including expenses and messaging. * The importance of prioritizing the well-being of the children involved and creating a supportive environment for them. * The challenges and misconceptions of parenting during and after a divorce ** The impact on children and the importance of parental happiness for the well-being of children ***The answer you all want to hear: Will the kids be okay? Answer might suprise you.  **and BONUS !!! What can you do to give your skin that glow you had before your life turned upside down!! (hint: it's Morgan's obsession) Get up to 50% off (which is INSANE!) If you go to www.dermamade.com and enter in code: AMY50 This episode is filled with real stories, hope, and honesty to help answer your question: are your kids going to be okay?  You can do this. We've got you. Join our private community: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity Follow us on IG: http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce We'll see ya next week. 

In this episode: Andrea, Morgan, and James Quigley dive into the world of divorce and family law, AND  contempt of court. Listen to get some strategies for dealing with violations of court orders, and the emotional toll of navigating divorce.    * Examples of non-willful violations of court orders and the importance of making reasonable efforts to comply * Situations where pursuing contempt charges for financial issues in divorce cases may be warranted, and the process of filing a petition for the court to consider contempt charges * Assessing the teamwork of law firms, understanding lawyer agreements, and maintaining credibility with the court * Communication strategies with challenging co-parents, using co-parenting apps, and documenting interactions. * Acknowledgment of the emotional toll of divorce, abuse, and gaslighting, and the recommendation to seek mental health support. * Stressing the importance of addressing emotional issues with support, as lawyers are not therapists. This conversation is filled with real-life anecdotes, practical advice, and a touch of humor, all aimed at providing support and guidance for those going through a divorce. Join us as we tackle these complex issues and share resources, all while navigating the intricacies of divorce with honesty and levity. To find James Quigley online, head to: https://www.beermannlaw.com/team/james-m-quigley/ and follow the guy on IG, it'll make his day. https://www.instagram.com/quigleyondivorce/ And remember: If you're concerned about your children's safety during your co parent's parenting time becuase of alcohol, Soberlink is here to help. To learn more visit: http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck and get $50 off your device. Our Family Wizard is here to my coparenting EASIER, how awesome is that??!! To get FREE access to an article that we co wrote with the Our Family Wizard team that gives action steps on how you can better communicate with you ex, go to: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck We have private communities, don't forget!! Join us. We're helpful and, like, way fun: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadytodivorce http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

In this episode, Andrea and Morgan give advice on creating parenting schedules and what you need to keep in mind to ensure the best interests of the children are at the forefront. We dive into some of the most common custody issues: *50/50 arrangment *right of first refusal *asking for more than 50% custody *difference between custodial custody and parenting time *best parenting time schedules for younger kids *more creative parenting time schedules   And speaking of kids, Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting easier! And trust us, you want Our Family Wizard as a tool in your divorce toolbox. Head to: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck to get access to a FREE article that we co-wrote with Our Family Wizard on how to best communicate with a challenging ex spouse!   And remember, our private community is here to support you. Join us at: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity And if you have not yet filed for divorce and would prefer to listen to our episodes privately, you can do so here: https://www.patreon.com/NotQuiteReadyForDivorce. Our entire library of episodes can be listened to discreetly for $4.99 a month.  Follow us on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce See you next week, friends!

In today’s episode, Andrea and Morgan discuss what happens AFTER you’ve been served with a petition for divorce…aka “dissolution of marriage”.    So if you’ve wondered: How do I choose the right 🤷🏻‍♀️divorce attorney? How do I manage 🤦🏼‍♂️ divorce stress? Who can help me understand 🙅🏻‍♀️ divorce documents? Then this episode is for YOU.    You deserve the right guidance and mindset is CRUCIAL.   Divorce is a journey that can be navigated with resilience and grace, and we’re here to support you every step of the way. How Not to Suck at Divorce offers you practical advice, and a much-needed dose of humor. ********** If alcohol is an issue and you’re concerned about your kids’ safety during your co-parent's parenting time, please check out Soberlink. http://www.soberlink.com/notsuck Vist the link to get $50 off your device. And if you want more guidance and support in regards to co-parenting, head over to Our Family Wizard. Our Family Wizard is here to make co-parenting EASIER. Click on this → link ← to get free access to communication tips that will save you time, money, and a big fat headache!  Please visit our private communities for more. http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce And follow us on IG! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce

if you are not quite ready for divorce and want to listen to this episode without downloading it to your device, you are welcome to subscribe to our Patreon channel, where, for $4.99 a month, you can access our entire library of episodes   Trauma makes a home in our bodies. Recent studies have shown that traditional talk therapy might not be enough to help people recover from trauma.  (eye roll) Great. So, now what??  This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce features Dr Melissa Kalt. Dr Melissa is a triple board certified physician turned trauma healer. Dr Melissa offers group programs and 1:1 services for people wanting to heal from their trauma. She even met with Andrea in December. Be sure to listen to Andrea's experience and how Dr Melissa was able to pinpoint her pain and help her release it. Something to note is that the trauma lives in our bodies because of the story we told ourselves about the traumatic event, not so much the event itself....food for thought.  (Poor Morgan found this topic to get a little too "woo woo" for her at times...what do you think??) The takeaway here is that if you are suffering, you deserve not to suffer. If trauma healing can help you, why wouldn't you try it? You can access Dr Melissa's FREE 5-part masterclass, "Hack the Confidence Rollercoaster" at confidencerollercoaster.com   Join Antifragile Rebels at antifragilerebels.com **Remember to use coupon code NOTSUCK50 for 50% off each month!   Learn more on her website at melissakaltmd.com   You can also find Dr Melissa at the below sites:   https://www.quora.com/profile/Dr-Melissa-Kalt-MD https://antifragilenarcissistsurvivorswithdrmelissa.quora.com/ https://medium.com/@MelissaKalt https://www.facebook.com/melissakaltmd/  https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-kalt-md/   p...

For many people getting divorced, it's inevitable that you're going to be stuck for a certain period of time, living with your ex.   And yes, that's going to suck. Luckily, we have some insight on the situation that we want to share with you.  This episode is a re air from a few seasons ago. We are coming to you with a FRESH, BRAND NEW episode next week! So take a listen to "When You're Stuck Living with Your Ex" to get your questions answered. Questions like: Can I date other people before I get divorced? Can I spend money on myself and going out if I'm still living with my ex? How will my ex and I figure out kid time? How do I make sure my ex and I are splitting household chores evenly? And friends, we know that divorce is hard. We know it's long and draining.  We are here to help guide you, offer you information, entertainment, and empathy and ultimately, help you not SUCK at getting divorced.  Please rate and reivew our show!! And message us on social, we would love to hear from you!! http://www.instagram.com/hownottosuckatdivorce   And join our private communities! https://www.patreon.com/NotQuiteReadyForDivorce - for those needing to listen to our private library http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity - for those looking for community and a place to ask quesitons!

This episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce is sponspored by Better Help. Give online therapy a try at http://www.betterhelp.com/notsuck and get on your way to being your best self.   We want to help you survive the next few weeks. The holiday season is a stressful time, in the BEST of situations. But if you're also navigating a divorce or considering divorce, then you're managing and extra set of stress and unhappiness that's likely making the next few weeks a really tough time.  Here's how we can help.  Here are 6 pro tips from Morgan and Andrea. You ready for them? Let's go! Set some realistic expectations. Surprises make for more unhappiness. Keep busy.  Prep your family on how to handle themselves around you (tell Aunt Beatrice to not ask you questions)  and possibly your ex. Watch the cheesy holiday movies, we're talking the REALLY cheesy ones, Hallmark channel style. Nothing bad happens in these movies and it makes for great background noise Just say no to parties you don't want to attend. Nobody really cares.  Move your body. It's so damn important. If it's really cold where you live, walk around the mall, or even around a Target.  And please, join our private communites for extra support! Here are the links: http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity And if you need to listen to our episodes discreetly (for those of you who aren't ready to file for divorce and don't want this show popping up on your subscription list) https://www.patreon.com/NotQuiteReadyForDivorce FYI: it’s a private community that does have a small fee. $4.99 a month to get all of the episodes discreetly. Ideal for if you don’t want your spouse seeing that you’re listening to the show.  We’re adding to this channel everyday- so soon there will videos there too.  The charge shows up as “Patreon” which is just a platform for additional podcasts.   Also! Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER. AND, you can get free information on coparenting and handling sticky situations! Head here: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

Kate Anthony, host of The Divorce Survivial Guide, is chatting with us tonight to offer another tool to help you at the beginning of your divorce process. The "D" Word, a new book out by Kate, will offer you a lot of insight and guidance as you decide, "should I stay or should I go?" Should I stay married for my kids? Does this count as abuse? Why am I so unhappy? What does a healthy relationship even look like? If the above quesitons sound familar to you...go grab a copy of Kate's book.  https://www.amazon.com/Word-Making-Ultimate-Decision-Marriage/dp/0806542357 Our hope is that this conversation helps you feel like someone gets what you're going through. We know that the decision to divorce is not easy. We know that there there are a multitude of emotions that fly through your head and heart and that you likely feel an incredible amount of weight on your shoulders.  Our advice? Talk about these thoughts and feelings. Get your butt in therapy. Start getting honest with yourself about what you want for your life and for your kids' lives. Take responsibility in the role that you play in not only your marraige but also in your life in general.  A now, a word from our sponsors: Treat yourself to the softest sheets this holiday season. Visit http://www.cozyearth.com and use code: HNTSAD to save up to 35% ! Our Family Wizard is here to help make coparenting easier. And if you could use some additional support regarding coparenting, do yourself a favor and sign up for their FREE newsletter: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck And visit Kate Anthony's site to learn more about her podcast and everything else that she has to offer. She's a wealth of support and guidance. https://kateanthony.com And if you need access to our private library, to listen to all of our episodes in the most discreet way, please sign up for our subscription service. http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce And our free community over on Facebook! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity          

"I'm just going to make it through the holidays" "I think I can hang on a little bit longer" "It's just not the right time." There's no good time to get divorced. But there's (of course) a TON of reasons that come into consideration when someone decides when to file. So what should you do when you know you want to leave, but you're not quite ready for divorce?? 1- EDUCATE YOURSELF.  This is your time to gather as much information as possible. Listen to this show, ask questions..join our private communites. 2- TALK TO AN ATTORNEY. In most cases, you don't need to hire someone until you're ready to file, but you should certainly start the interview process. Remember, we suggest you interview 3 attorneys before hiring someone.  3-START PAYING MORE ATTENTION TO MONEY. We're talking about money coming in and money going out. (see our previous episodes about $$ to get more guidance here) 4-THERAPY. Get your butt in therapy. Now. In fact, stop this podcast and go. You deserve support and BTW, so do your kids. In fact, the waitlsits right now for childrens' therapists are INSANE so start doing research now and get on those lists for therapists that would right to help your family. Being proactive vs reactive is ALWAYS the better choice.  What should you NOT do?? 1- Take to social media. Don't change profile pictures or start bringing attention to yourself until you know exactly what you're doing and prepared to answer questions 2- Go spending a ton a money. 3-If you're already in another relationship- DON'T make extravegant purchases or travel plans. Especially depending on the state you live in. And if you are in another relationship, don't conceal this fact from your attorney. You need to have an open and honest relationship with your divorce attorney and they cannot fully support and advise you if they don't know all of the facts.  And if you need more insight and want the most discreet way to listen to this show, join our community on Patreon. This community offers you our entire library of episodes that you can access without needing to suscribe to our show. This channel will also hold bonus interviews and conversations that will help you as you make your decision and support you along the way.  http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce   And now, a word from our Sponsors,  Don't sleep on those old sheets that you shared with your ex, omg, YUCK!! Treat yourself this holiday season with the luxious sheets from Cozy Earth. Vist http://www.cozyearth.com and use code HNTSAD to save up to 35%!!! Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting easier. Make sure you sign up for their free newsletter at http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck

For those of you who are facing the holidays WITHOUT your kids, let us reassure that your feelings dread and sorrow are completely normal. Even if you're feeling mixed emotions, THAT'S completely normal.  It's a dramatic change from how things used to be. It can feel strange...empty...and just plain wrong.  We can promise you this: you WILL get through these holidays...even though they might be challenging.  Listen to this special re- air episode with our friend, Lisa McGregor, to hear her take on what she did to help herself get through those first few years...you hear Andrea weigh in as well- her take is a little different.    And here are some updated action steps from Andrea: Let yourself feel sad. Pretending you're okay when you're not does you no favors. Move your body. We're not asking you to run a mile, but we are asking you to go for a walk. Do something, anything. You don't need to go our and party all night, but grabbing a fresh Starbucks at least gets you out of the house.    And now, a word from our sponsors: Treat yourself to some new sheets, don't sleep on those same sheets you shared with your ex, YUCK. Cozy Earth is all about LUXURY!!  Visit : http://www.cozyearth.com and use code: HNTSAD to save 35%!!! Our Family Wizard is here to make coparenting EASIER. Visit: http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck to sign up for their FREE newsletter and learn our OFW can help YOU!   Join our private community! http://www.facebook.com/thehownottosuckatdivorcecommunity And if you need to listen to our episodes privately: http://www.patreon.com/notquitereadyfordivorce