Claim OwnershipHow Not to Screw Up Your Kids
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© Dr Maryhan
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Hello, I'm your host Dr Maryhan, psychologist and parenting expert.
The How Not To Screw Up Your Kids podcast is for parents, grandparents, educators, and anyone else who wants to be part of a movement to raise confident children who grow up believing in themselves. With twice weekly episodes - on Monday's you'll find shorter Bucket Emptying episodes, with longer episodes each Thursday.
The greatest gift we can give our children is self-belief. It will get them further in life than any qualification and is absolutely possible for each and every child; we just need the right information and support around us to teach them.
The old saying ‘it takes a village to raise a child” couldn’t be more true than now. Parenting has got a whole lot harder; not just because we are busier than ever but because our children are growing up in an ever changing, fast-paced world, which is so different to the one we grew up in. Our children have more pressure to be better, look better, do better, and in a world where lives are so publicly scrutinised and commented on through social media it’s really no wonder we’re seeing mental health problems sky rocketing amongst children, teens, and young adults. What you can expect from this podcast are honest conversations about parenting.
We’ll talk confidence resilience, anxiety, managing tech, and all the topics you’d expect as well blowing the lid off the widely help misconception that children are innately resilient. They’re not!
This podcast is for people who want to get real about parenting. You understand it can get messy sometimes and aren’t afraid to admit it. I have had more than my fair share of messy and I will no doubt share these with you along the way. I won’t dress things up but I will always give you something practical to take away and use in each and every episode. My guests and experts will be real people who have overcome their own adversities and bring with them a message to us as parents, as well as inspiring stories.
So pour yourself a cuppa, find a comfy seat, and enjoy the conversation...
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In this week’s episode I’ll unpick practical ways we can support a child who might be struggling making friendships, as well as helping a child transitioning to a new school and starting afresh. A quick reminder - this is Part 2 in a 3 part series on Friendships. Part 1 is Episode 158 Here are the highlights:(1:25) Characteristics required to make friends(6:38) Conversational skills(11:27) Practice(14:31) Encourage openmindness (18:03) Importance of a diverse cycle of friends(20:25) Be patient💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025.DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
It’s a month of anniversaries, and this week we celebrate 1 year of the Bucket Emptying episode. So, I’m re-releasing the episode explaining the importance of yours, and your child’s bucket!We don't notice our bucket filling until that last drop of water goes into the bucket and the water overflows, and we get explosions, big emotions, and often tears as a consequence.But do you or your child know what fills your bucket? Listen as I share my top tips on how to empty your bucket and stop the inevitable overflow.💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with a friend or colleague who could do with a supportive hand💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
We’ve all been there right? Whether it’s because we’ve said ‘no’ to something, asked them to do something they don’t want to do, or called ‘time for dinner, bed, bath, school, homework etc ……. and they’ve totally lost the plot.Their reaction seems so disproportionate, you’d think we’d cut off a limb, and yet to them it’s the end of their world and to us we’re struggling to know what to say and how to keep our own emotions in check.Join me as I share the three main reasons why children struggle to manage their emotions, and what we can do to help support them.Here are the highlights:(1:53) The 3 main reasons why your child is having a meltdown(4:29) Chronological vs developmental age(7:12) Why not to meet fire with fire(11:03) Managing emotions after a confrontation(13:17) Be the role model for your child(16:49) Glitter jars(24:36) Create opportunities for children to practice💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Today's bucket emptying episode comes to you in the week that is the 3rd anniversary of the How Not to Screw Up Your Kids podcast which is now downloaded in 89 countries.I had no idea this is what was going to happen and that you incredible people would be downloading not only one episode a week, but now two, each Monday and Thursday.Thank you so much. It does not go unappreciated by me and my team. This week’s episode is for you as a parent, and it's particularly for you if you’re struggling with a particular aspect of your child's behaviour, mindset, language, whatever it is that is either triggering you or causing you a lot of challenges.Listen as I share my top tips, and if this advice isn’t relevant to you please remember to share with a friend or colleague that could do with a hand this week.💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
What can we do when we find our parenting varies so drastically from our partners that’s it’s causing real issues at home – impacting our children, our relationship and making family life feel like a battleground??Here are the highlights:(2:30) Not minor disagreements, but core values(5:00) Parenting is a reflection of what is happening in your entire life, not just your role as a parent(11:22) Is your relationship sound?(15:25) Never undermine your partner’s parenting in the moment, unless…(19:30) Don’t avoid the difficult conversations(23:12) Have faith in your ability to work it out💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Parenting is harder now than it has ever been. We are busier than ever, juggling more, and we don’t always share the same views as our partner about how to best parent. It’s then a whole different minefield to navigate if you and your partner have split and are now co-parenting; not always amicably.This podcast episode is for you if…..You want to be more consistent with your parentingYou are prepared to take a really honest look at how you parent – warts and allYou want practical ways to co-parent without the battlesHere are the highlights: (0:39) The 5 bedtime parenting styles(2:45) Children thrive on consistent parenting(8:34) Children’s behaviour tells us how they’re feeling(10:13) Children learn how to self-regulate through observation(13:41) Answering back is disrespectful(18:50) Children should be grateful for all we do(21:17) The Sunday family meeting template💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In today's Bucket Emptying podcast episode, the focus is on parental guilt. It's a feeling many of us experience almost as soon as our child is handed to us, impacting various aspects of our lives. To address this challenge, it's crucial to recognise when the guilt arises from a misalignment between our actions as parents and our perceived responsibilities. The first step is to identify and understand this disconnect. Join me as I explore strategies for managing your parental guilt. 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This episode follows on from Episode 160 discussing sleep, but this time I've got company; I'm chatting to the fabulous Sleep Mums. So come join us as we have a refreshingly honest conversation and share some super practical advice to help. You're in for a treat!Here are the highlights:(02:45) Do you have a routine or not?(08:37) Every child has different needs(10:46) The difference between babies and children(15:11) Routine is like a crib sheet(17:44) Don’t get sucked into comparison(23:26) How to help older children settle(26:23) How to make sure you get enough sleep(32:11) Is there a difference between men and women’s sleep?💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
A survey by the NHS found that 29% of six to 10-year-olds had trouble sleeping on three or more nights in the previous week. Problems getting to sleep, waking in the night or waking early were even more common among older children, affecting 38% of 11- to 16-year-olds and the majority – 57% – of young people aged 17 to 23.To me, it’s no wonder we have rising numbers of mental health challenges with sleep data like this!!!I want this episode to be super practical and informative so you can help your child, or teen, if they are one of these children struggling.Here are the highlights: (1:03) The 3 different functions of sleep(5:36) Keeping the worries out of the bedroom(10:52) With privilege comes responsibility(13:25) Dressing the bedroom(18:34) Help them find their own strategies(22:52) The small things that shift the emphasis of the day💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Today's bucket emptying episode is all an amazing breathing technique; Take 10.You can use this an adult, as well as also teaching it to your kids. I've tried all sorts of breathing techniques, and young people often really struggle with this notion of focusing in on the breath, anchoring themselves in the breath. Instead of asking them to focus on the breath itself and changing the breath, this strategy asks them to focus on counting their breath which is so much easier in the moment.💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This episode was originally released in 2022, but friendships are still one of the biggest challenges our girls have to navigate. It can cause so much upset and make life miserable. So, Amy and Jess wrote a book to help their daughters so they never had to struggle with friendships as they did. They hope the hard lessons they learned help smooth the road for young girls and help them walk with their heads held high, never doubting who they are, or wondering if they are enough. Whilst the book was written for girls, the lessons and techniques are just as usual for boys.Here are the highlights:(02:41) How the book came to be(05:59) The difference between boys and girls(10:52) Normalising vulnerability with our children(17:12) Mom has issues too(23:59) Someone is either with you or against you(31:45) Standing on the outside of the circle(37:15) Friendship shouldn’t be earned(42:03) Be humbleCLICK HERE TO BUY I'll Be There (And Let's Make Friendship Bracelets): A Girl's Guide to Making and Keeping Real-Life Friendships NOW 💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this series of three episodes I'll share how to help our children make good friendships, keep them, and how to avoid the dramas and toxicity. Here are the highlights:(2:55) Friendships aren’t permanent(5:27) Different friends for different seasons and reasons(9:02) One friend or lots?(11:42) Gender differences(13:18) Support the way your child likes to socialise(15:12) Core skills that make a good friend are learnt at home(18:09) Importance of turn-taking(20:09) Encourage a curiosity about other people(23:25) Red and green friends💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Today's bucket emptying episode is for your children and I'm setting you a challenge and mindset shift to help your children take those plunges and not see mistakes or failures as catastrophic. The challenge is to start reframing mistakes and failure a full stop, and instead to start seeing it as a comma. Let me explain what that I mean.💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
A must listen if you are struggling with sibling arguments and friction which is making life at home feel quite unbearable. The solution isn’t just in how you deal with it in the moment it’s in how your child sees themselves in your family.Here are the highlights:(1:25) Sibling rivalry is a natural part of family dynamics(3:39) How does your child feel about themselves?(5:31) What role does your child have within the family?(8:59) Birth order matters(10:50) Do you find one child easier to parent?(15:10) Don’t referee what you don’t see(19:25) Don’t tell you children they must love each other(22:21) Allocate time based on need, not equality💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Children who grow up in the same family experience the family very differently. Siblings vie over the same family resources. When siblings fail to find their niche - conflict ensues. I'll help you audit your family to unravel the root of the issues. Here are the highlights:(1:40) Psychological context of individual (7:37) Sibling rivalry is normal(8:21) Focus on needs (10:44) Comparison(12:20) You don’t have to like someone to love them(14:15) Respond to the motive, not behaviour(15:03) Family roles(17:50) Daily individual time with each child(20:20) Don’t judge, referee or take sides(21:45) Family connection💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In today's Bucket Emptying episode, I want to show you a really great bucket emptying tool and strategy for your children that is the glitter jar. Now, obviously a glitter jar is rather lovely and beautiful and very aesthetic in your home, but it's also a superb way of explaining emotions to children and teens, whether that's big emotions around anger, frustration, annoyance, jealousy, or whether it is around overwhelm, stress and anxiety. I'd love to see your glitter jars, share your photos to contact@drmaryhan.com, and please share this episode with your friends, family and colleagues that need some extra support.💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
There are very real issues girls face growing up, which negatively impacts their resilience. Being a ‘good girl’ limits their potential. I’ll share my top tips for raising gutsy women who are not afraid to take chances.Here are the highlights:(2:20) Brain facts for context(12:10) Language matters(14:40) Be aware of confirmation bias & hyper vigilance(19:18) Shift the energy through action/movement(22:30) Play tricks with the mind(24:50) Praise braveryHere are the highlights:(2:20) Brain facts for context(12:10) Language matters(14:40) Be aware of confirmation bias & hyper vigilance(19:18) Shift the energy through action/movement(22:30) Play tricks with the mind(24:50) Praise bravery💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Self belief is the foundational layer to self-esteem and self confidence. Without it you're building on quick-sand. I will share ways to help children believe in their own capabilities - regardless of age. Here are the highlights:(5:25) I can have a go(8:47) Don’t jump in to fix(11:38) Provide options(12:54) Break challenges into bite size chunks(14:02) Feedback loop(15:45) Constructive feedback on effort(17:30) Social modelling(21:14) Tackle self-limiting beliefs(23:15) Fear of judgement(24:34) Visualise success(27:43) Constructive self-talk💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week's Bucket Emptying podcast episode is a must-listen for everyone, not just parents! Have you ever stopped to think how many roles you juggle each week? It's easy to feel overwhelmed and out of control, especially when you’re trying to keep everyone happy with a limited resource - time.Listen in as I share my 3 practical tips. Oh, and don’t forget to share with friends and family who could use a little relief from their overwhelm.💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
How can we get a non-communicative child or teen to open up? Feels like mission impossible yet with a few tweaks, and a whole lot of faith it is possible. I'll share my top four don'ts and my top five dos. Here are the highlights:(00:45) You can’t help your child with anxiety or confidence if they won’t open up to you(1:58) Don’t ask your child about their day(3:27) Don’t expect overnight changes(4:13) Don’t jump in with solutions(5:07) Don’t take things personally(6:55) Seize the opportunities(9:45) Take care of yourself!(11:15) Build in connection time with each child each day(14:03) Listen(17:22) Maximise non-eye contact moments💚 Let's grow our village together, please share this episode with at least one friend 💚 Complete the listener poll to let me know what you'd like in future episodes💚 You can watch the Bucket Emptying Episodes on Youtube💚 Access the free resources mentioned in the episodes💚 Join our campaign One Million Moments to reduce the number of children struggling with mental health challenges from 17% to 10% by 2025. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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