How To!

The How To! hosts love helping listeners find the answers they need. But sometimes a host needs help, too. On this episode, Courtney Martin and her brother, Chris, open up about how their father’s dementia has led them to upend their own lives in order to become his caregivers. To help Courtney and Chris talk through what comes next, Carvell Wallace welcomes Dr. Allison Applebaum, whose book Stand by Me chronicles her own caregiving journey and her work at Memorial Sloan Kettering’s Caregivers Clinic.  If you liked this episode check out: How To Help a Loved One With Dementia and How To Make Aging Easier for Everyone Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrae. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ari always dreamed of starting his own podcast. When he started interviewing fellow academics for the Taylor Swift class he’s teaching, Ari suddenly had the perfect opportunity to turn those conversations into something called ¿What Are Taylor Swift Studies Anyways? Now he just needs to find an audience. On this meta episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Lauren Passell, founder of Tink Media and author of Podcast the Newsletter. Lauren shares creative ways to find new listeners and connect with your audience; tips that apply to all kinds of passion projects.  Resources Mentioned: Podcast Marketing Magic Podcast the Newsletter Transom NPR Training Rephonic If you liked this episode check out: How To Succeed at Social Media Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrae. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ben has two sons in the fourth grade. Like a lot of kids, they love YouTube videos, gaming, movies, and other online entertainment. Before his sons begin using social media, Ben wants to ensure they develop a good relationship with tech—and he’s ready to recruit other families at their school to agree upon some rules of engagement. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings in Richard Culatta, CEO of the International Society for Technology in Education and ASCD. He’s also the author of Digital for Good: Raising Kids to Thrive in an Online World. He shares his refreshingly practical approach to tech, screen time, and social media.  Resources Mentioned:  Guide to create healthy conditions in schools If you liked this episode check out: How To Face the A.I. Revolution and How To Help Teachers Thrive Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Sara McCrae. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After a tree destroyed Tucker’s roof during a tornado, he felt lucky to be alive—and underprepared for the next disaster his family might face. On this episode, Courtney Martin welcomes back author and former How To! host Amanda Ripley to discuss emergency preparedness and how regular citizens can react smarter during a devastating event. Amanda’s newly updated book is The Unthinkable: Who Survives When Disaster Strikes—and Why.  After listening to this conversation, seek out (and save) this information:  CERT Training Your state’s homeland security website Your county’s emergency management agency  Local emergency alerts If you liked this episode check out: How To Keep Cool in a Crisis and How To Cope With Climate Anxiety. Also mentioned: How To Pick a College (and Actually Afford It) and How To Take a Gap Year Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrae. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With takeout prices on the rise, Josh wants to sharpen his home-cooking chops so he can whip up delicious dinners for himself and his wife. But this empty nester doesn’t want to spend all day in the kitchen. On this episode of How To!, co-host Courtney Martin consults award-winning chef, food writer, and New York Times Cooking pro Sohla El-Waylly for advice on meal prep, next-level seasoning, and preparing the best rice and beans. Sohla’s new cookbook is Start Here: Instructions for Becoming a Better Cook. If you liked this episode, check out How To ‘Chaos Cook’ With Samin Nosrat or How To Cook One Perfect Meal. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrae. Production for this episode by Sara McCrea. Want more How To!? Subscribe to Slate Plus to unlock exclusive bonus episodes. Plus, you’ll access ad-free listening across all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts by clicking “Try Free” at the top of the How To! show page. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus to get access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Several months ago, Sarah told her best friend John she’s in love with him—but he doesn’t love her back. Now Sarah can’t get John out of her head, especially because they still talk all the time. How can Sarah move on from John? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and the author of Anatomy of Love, to help Sarah train her heart—and her brain—to fall out of love. The first thing Sarah needs to do, Helen says, is cut off contact with John. Every time she sees him, it reactivates her brain circuitry for romantic love. And as beautiful as their friendship may be, it’s holding Sarah back from finding her true love.  If you liked this episode, check out “How To Propose (to a Man).” Do you have a problem in your love life? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kate’s entire family loves to go on intense, day-long hikes. Kate does not. It’s just one of many differences that makes her feel like a black sheep. But Kate desperately wants to be close to her family—without disregarding her own desires or compromising on parts of her life. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Dr. Lucy Blake, author of No Family Is Perfect: A Guide to Embracing the Messy Reality. Lucy helps Kate find her way to a family unity that works for everyone, while also learning to celebrate their differences.   If you liked this episode check out: How To Deal With a Difficult Parent Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrae. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cooper feels like they’re constantly falling behind on their to-do list. Life is busy and household chores are the last thing they want to do. Cooper tracks everything in a detailed spreadsheet—but that spreadsheet isn’t going to take care of the dirty dishes in the sink. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Dale Aucoin of Clean & Queer, a professional organizing business based in New York City. Dale explains how to prioritize tasks, make chores easier, and find a routine that works for you.  Links Mentioned:  Clean & Queer The Trans Guide If you liked this episode check out: How To Be a Lazy Genius and How To Style Your Home Like a Pro. Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrae. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Elle started a new career as a therapist, she never imagined she would be the one in need of help. After just a few months, her position at a group practice became untenable amid a lack of support from colleagues. Now she’s looking for a new job and wants to avoid a similar scenario. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace introduces Elle to leadership coach Rudhir Krishtel, who helps us rethink our relationships to co-workers—and work itself. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrea. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you learn to tell the perfect joke? In this special edition of How To!, founding host Charles Duhigg joins Courtney and Carvell to mark five years of life-changing advice with a look back at our very first episode. It features a pastor from Oklahoma who wants to spice up his sermons. We introduce him to Gary Gulman, a New York standup comedian who makes jokes about his clinical depression. They workshop the pastor’s new joke about the New Testament, and Gary reveals “what might be the most important rule of being funny.” Charles Duhigg's favorite episode: How To Stop Being Anxious Courtney Martin's favorite episode: How To Be Lonely Carvell Wallace's favorite episode: How To Grieve an Estranged Parent Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.  How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrae. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Todd is looking for love, but he’s unsure about disclosing something in dating profiles: his multiple sclerosis. With symptoms that are increasingly visible, Todd feels compelled to be upfront about his disability with potential dates—but he doesn’t know when or how to discuss it. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace brings on Jessica Slice and Caroline Cupp, authors of Dateable: Swiping Right, Hooking Up, and Settling Down While Chronically Ill and Disabled. They give Todd guidance on having that talk, navigating ableism, and managing his own internal expectations.   If you liked this episode check out: How To Flirt With Confidence Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrae. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shirley Showalter and Marilyn McEntyre know that grandparenting is more than just cookies and Play-Doh. Don’t get us wrong, those things are fun! But the art of contemporary grandparenting requires mindfulness, intentionality, and navigating boundaries. On today’s episode, Courtney Martin talks with Marilyn and Shirley about their book, The Mindful Grandparent, and the wisdom they’ve gained as elders to 12 grandchildren.  If you liked this episode check out: How To Face Your Kid’s Future Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrea.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Trisha is craving a break from her job, but she doesn’t want to drain her bank account. On today’s episode, Courtney Martin connects Trisha to DJ DiDonna, founder of The Sabbatical Project, who’s on a quest to make extended breaks accessible to all. DJ explains how to plan for a sabbatical that is both meaningful and manageable.  If you liked this episode check out: How To Hit “Reset” On Your Career Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sara McCrea.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

David was in the ocean in Hawaii when the unthinkable happened—a shark attacked him and bit off his leg. “I don’t think you’re gonna make it,” a medic told the 25-year-old on the helicopter ride to the hospital. But David did make it, and soon he learned that surviving the shark wasn’t the hardest part—it was what came after. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, psychiatrist and author of The Body Keeps the Score, to help David understand and deal with the lasting psychological trauma of the attack. For anyone suffering from severe trauma, Bessel says, it’s okay to grieve the person you were before. Accepting the loss of the “old you” will allow you to better embrace who you are now, both in your mind and body.  Do you need help overcoming life’s many challenges? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How To!’s senior editor Joel Meyer recently experienced a yard sale fail and wants to know what went wrong. He spent hours planning and organizing the items on his lawn, but when it was all said and done he barely made enough to cover the cost of lunch. Enter this week’s expert, Ava Seavey, a self-described master of garage-sale-ology and author of Ava’s Guide to Garage Sale Gold. Seavey tells host Courtney Martin some hilarious stories and insider tips for how to cash in on all your old stuff. If you liked this episode, check out “How To Find the Gems in All Your Junk” Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Joel Meyer, Rosemary Belson, and Kevin Bendis. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Meg once was a terror in the world of roller derby. But these days, her sedentary lifestyle is making everyday physical activities a tad daunting. (We’re looking at you, groceries that need to be carried up four flights of stairs!). She wants to start lifting weights, but she’s unsure where to start—and whether she can avoid the bro-culture of many weight rooms. On this episode of How To!: Courtney Martin brings in writer and powerlifter Mikala Jamison, who was in Meg’s shoes not that long ago. She shares how she got started, why lifting is a lifelong journey, and what we can learn from the current zeitgeist for women’s strength training. Resources mentioned:  Mikala’s Substack, Body Type  Book with simple lifting guide Fitness trainer Meg Gallagher on Instagram If you liked this episode check out: How To Be Free Of Body Shame or How To Stick to Your New Year’s Resolutions Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After Lin met Dave, their lives quickly became entangled. Lin joined Dave’s small business, made much-needed improvements, and charmed Dave’s family. The two also began a romantic relationship that lasted years. When it fizzled, Lin continued working at the company—and eventually uncovered Dave’s lies, deceit, and infidelity. On this episode of How To!: Carvell Wallace welcomes Nina Renata Aron, author of Good Morning, Destroyer of Men’s Souls, to share her own experience exiting a toxic, codependent relationship and explain how she came to terms with it. If you liked this episode check out: How To Do Divorce Right and How To Forgive Someone Who Isn’t Sorry Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Paula has a big family, lots of friends, and a girlfriend she adores. For most of her life, however, she has experienced an underlying and unshakeable sense of loneliness. On this episode of How To!, Courtney Martin brings on Kristen Radtke, the writer and illustrator behind Seek You: A Journey Through American Loneliness, to talk with Paula about an emotion that’s hard to talk about—and even harder to confront. If you liked this episode, check out How To Find Your People and How To Survive a Silent Retreat.  Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To! is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. Derek John is our executive producer.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Leo is a high-achieving high school senior on the cusp of graduation. Growing up in a rigorous school environment he faced endless pressure to follow the expected track of attending an elite university and eventually securing a good job. Yet, Leo feels slightly unfulfilled and is curious what an alternative path might look like. On this episode of How To!, Carvell Wallace is joined by Abby Falik, founder of the The Flight School, and organization dedicate to helping students and parents rethink and reshape their education. Abby shares her insights and experience guiding students through gap years so they find their own way. If you liked this episode check out: "How To Parent Less" Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. How To’s executive producer is Derek John. Joel Meyer is our senior editor/producer. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson and Kevin Bendis.  Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The trouble began when Sarah put a fern in front of her new condo. Nice, right? The woman who lives in the unit above didn’t think so, and without warning sent Sarah a slew of passive-aggressive notes. Sarah thinks it’s all a big misunderstanding, but now her neighbor refuses to even speak to her. Sarah is wracked with anxiety, struggling to sleep, and contemplating moving out. On this episode of How To!, we turn to stand-up comedian Tig Notaro, a cancer survivor and host of the new advice podcast Don’t Ask Tig, to help Sarah approach the situation with humor and clarity. When things don’t go your way, Tig says, you have to take back control of your own story. What would the hero in your favorite movie do? For Sarah, this means gardening with headphones and the Rocky theme on the soundtrack.  Do you have a problem that could use some humorous advice? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. If you liked this episode, check out “How To Talk to Strangers.” Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices