How to Live in Denmark

Gækkebrev are a great Danish tradition, but like many other Danish traditions, they are fighting to survive amid the country’s ambitious digital agenda.  What is a gækkebrev, or gække letter? A single piece of paper, cut into a lace-like design somewhat like a snowflake, sent anonymously in the days before Easter. A poem is handwritten on the letter, but it is unsigned...except for a number of dots that correspond to the number of letters in the sender's name. If you can guess who sent the letter, that person owes you a chocolate Easter egg. If you can't guess, you owe them a chocolate Easter Egg whenever they reveal themselves.  Needless to say, gækkebrev are very popular with small children looking for candy.  (The "gække" refers to a vintergække flower that used to accompany the letter back in the day) But the tradition is slowly dying out, thanks to Denmark's widespread digitalization. Paper letters have almost disappeared; it's quite possible to go for months without receiving any physical mail at all.  Stamps and coins are also dying out. While Denmark got a new king more than a year ago, I've yet to see his image on any stamps or coins...because I so rarely see stamps or coins.   Read more at howtoliveindenmark.com. 

Fastelavn is one of the Danes’ favorite holidays. It takes place in February, when the light is finally beginning to come back after a long season of winter darkness. "Hitting the cat in the barrel" - which used to involve a real cat, but no longer does - and eating messy fastelavn buns full of custard are part of the holiday. What's no longer really part of the holiday is its religious background, the idea that this is a party that takes place before the long lockdown of Lent.  Kept the party, dumped the religion The Danes have kept the party while stripping away its source, much like the non-firmations some Danes choose over confirmations, or the "namegiving ceremonies" that have replaced baptisms in some circles.  I once read that the safer a society is, the less likely it is to be religious. The more comfortable and secure people are, the less likely they are to turn to a higher power to sort things out.  That’s certainly true in Denmark. They find religious faith strange The majority of Danes find religious faith strange, and perhaps a sign of ignorance or moral weakness. I have had Danes tell me that believing in God is like believing in Santa Claus.  They’ll go to church on Christmas Eve, or for a wedding, or maybe a funeral. But if you tell Danes that you go to church on a regular basis because you like it, they will suddenly become very suspicious, and maybe a little angry.  They may assume you have backward views, that you don’t like gay people, perhaps that you believe that women should be subservient. Or maybe that you don’t drink alcohol, which is a serious charge in Denmark.   Read more at howtoliveindenmark.com  

If you’re one of the bottom 80% of Danish earners, you’ll probably spend most of your dark January evenings and weekends at home, hoping your bank account can recover from Christmas excesses. Restaurants have a lot of empty tables this time of year. Shops mostly process the return of unwanted Christmas presents. Now, this can and often is packaged as hygge. Candles, TV, sweaters, warm slippers, hot tea. But it’s often just being broke and not being able to go anywhere. Yet if you’re part of the top 20% of earners in Denmark, however, maybe even the top 10%, you go skiing. Not in Denmark, which doesn’t have any mountains for downhill skiing, or enough snow for cross-country skiing. You go to Sweden for cheap skiing, Norway for slightly more expensive skiing, or to France or Switzerland for luxury skiing where you can show off your Rolex Explorer wristwatch on the slopes. Two different types of Januaries The two different types of Januaries illustrate how the gap between the rich and poor in Denmark has widened in recent decades.  Denmark is still, culturally, an egalitarian culture, and it’s still considered bad taste to show off your Rolex watch here in Denmark, but there’s no debating that as the country has become prosperous over the past 30 years, the gap between rich and poor has widened. Read more at howtoliveindenmark.com. 

Denmark, as Danes like to tell you, is a little country. But it used to be a much bigger country, a bit of an empire. Norway was once part of Denmark. Iceland was once part of Denmark. The southern half of Sweden and a bit of northern Germany used to be part of Denmark. What is now called the US Virgin Islands used to be part of Denmark. And Denmark had colonies in Africa and India, which is why when you’ll go into many Danish supermarkets – even online supermarkets – you’ll see a section called Kolonial, or Colonial. It features long-life products, like spices and nuts, that used to come from trading posts in the faraway Danish colonies. Over time, through war losses and independence movements, the Danish Empire shrank…and today we’re going to talk about how it might shrink further. The US has made clear that it wants Greenland to be part of its own territory. Are they serious about this? And what do the Danes think?  

One of the tips I often give to newcomers in Denmark is to learn Danish through song lyrics. Find a Danish lyricist whose music you enjoy listening to on repeat. The repetition will help you get a feel for how the Danish language flows, and you’ll have something to dance to during those long, dark winter months. I did this myself when I first arrived in Denmark, and learned a great deal of Danish from the witty, self-mocking songs of Carsten Lykke.  Here are a few suggestions for your own Danish lyrics journey.  While comparing musical artists is tricky, here are a few suggestions to get you started. (I've put them all together in a Spotify Playlist and a YouTube Playlist for you.) 🎵 Hans Philip: Formerly a rapper, now a talented singer-songwriter. If you like artists like Dominic Fike, Hans Philip is worth a listen. 🎵 Medina: If you enjoy female dance artists like Lady Gaga or Chappell Roan, give Medina a try. She has a long line of dance hits and some interesting collaborations. Fun fact: Lady Gaga's hit “Born This Way” was co-written by Danish percussionist Jeppe Laursen. 🎵 Marie Key: Are you a Swiftie? Marie Key, with her witty, introspective lyrics and focus on personal relationships, might be a good fit.  🎵 The Minds of 99: This popular band regularly sells out stadiums in Denmark. They have a sound similar to The Killers or Arcade Fire. Listen. 🎵 Kim Larsen: For classic rock fans, Kim Larsen is a Danish legend, holding a place in Denmark’s national consciousness similar to Bruce Springsteen in the USA or Elton John in the UK. (Sanne Salomonsen Listen and Anne Linnet Listen are iconic female musicians from the same era.)  🎵 Thomas Helmig: Another Danish icon, with a bit of a Motown vibe.  🎵 Gasolin’: If you like 60s groups like The Animals or Small Faces, try Gasolin’. They’ve been compared to the early Rolling Stones.  🎵 Rasmus Seebach: Fans of Ed Sheeran and Shawn Mendes would probably like Rasmus Seebach. He's a big star in Denmark, and Danes have watched him grow from a confused young man to the family man and father he is today.  Focus on Danish-Language Artists Here, I’m focusing on Danish artists who sing in Danish. While many Danish musicians sing in English to reach a broader international audience—especially in Asia (like Christopher, a blond, muscular singer who’s a massive star in China and Korea)—for language learning, you’ll get the most benefit from songs entirely in Danish. Music has a way of sticking with you. I bet you can still recall advertising jingles from when you were very young. So listen to the music, look up the lyrics online, and you’ll be on your way to better understanding both the Danish language and culture.  Danish through song lyrics is an engaging and effective way to immerse yourself in the language. Music has a unique ability to make words and phrases stick in your mind, thanks to its rhythm, repetition, and emotional connection. By listening to Danish songs, you can improve your vocabulary, pronunciation, and overall understanding of how the language flows, all while enjoying catchy tunes. -----   One of the great benefits of learning Danish through music is the opportunity to hear everyday language in a natural context. Lyrics often reflect colloquial speech, offering insights into how Danes express themselves in informal settings. As you listen repeatedly to your favorite songs, you’ll begin to recognize common phrases, idioms, and sentence structures. You can look up the lyrics online to follow along, helping you connect the written and spoken forms of Danish. Songs can also give you a deeper understanding of Danish culture. Many Danish lyrics reflect the country’s values, history, and social themes, allowing you to gain a more nuanced perspective on life in Denmark. Artists like Kim Larsen, The Minds of 99, or Marie Key not only provide a fun listening experience but also open the door to cultural insights. Another advantage is the fun, relaxed environment music creates for learning. Instead of sitting down with a textbook, you can pop on your headphones, dance around, or hum along as you pick up the language. Whether you prefer pop, rock, folk, or hip-hop, there are plenty of Danish-language artists to explore. So, start by finding a few Danish songs you enjoy, look up the lyrics, and sing along. Over time, you’ll notice improvements in your language skills—and maybe even discover a few favorite Danish artists along the way!

Denmark has one of the highest job mobility rates in the world - about 20% of Danes start new jobs each year. Frequent job changes are a reflection of the Danish concept of "flexicurity" – flexibility with the security of the welfare state. As a matter of fact, if you stay in the same job for many years in Denmark, people start to wonder why.  Young people switch jobs the most, of course, but even people in the prime of their careers, as well as employees over 55, job hopping in Denmark is much more common than it is in other European countries. In the Danish job market, staying in the same job for many years, or not moving within the company, might raise eyebrows. Denmark doesn't really offer lifetime employment. In the audio version of my book, How to Work in Denmark: Tips for Finding a Job, Succeeding at Work, and Understanding your Danish Boss, now available on Amazon Audible, Saxo, Apple Books, and other platforms, I address this topic. The Danish job market is incredibly fluid, with easy hiring and firing processes, much simpler than in many other European nations, including Sweden. Being let go isn't a career killer here - it happens to most people sooner or later. Flexicurity in Denmark makes it inevitable.  The situation is a little trickier for people who are  in Denmark on a work visa. Losing a job could mean a short window to find another one before having to leave the country. It also complicates job switching, as the new employer must take over the visa sponsorship. However, once you achieve permanent residency, you can fully participate in the Danish job-switching culture. Because Danish employers can let you go at almost any time—with few restrictions—it’s crucial to stay proactive as an employee. Keep your skills updated, continuously learn new things in your field, and maintain an up-to-date LinkedIn profile. 

Did you know that Copenhagen has its own color? It’s called Copenhagen Green, and it’s a dark emerald green, mixed with a fair amount of black. A little like the dark green we see on the leaves of trees here late in August. Pantone 3435C, for you designer types.  You’ll notice that all Copenhagen benches are this color, an you will see Copenhagen Green on many wooden doors and window frames in the old city, as well as lamp posts, railings, even small bridges in the beautiful Ørestedsparken. This was a conscious decision by city leaders in the early 1900s. They felt the combination of green and black blended well with both natural and urban settings, and that using it widely would create a sense of harmony. Plus almost everybody likes green.  Learn more about the design quirks of Copenhagen in this podcast, and find out how to take my self-guided audio tour of Danish Design in Copenhagen at voicemap.me/DanishDesign.   --------------------------  

Many countries have a fictional character who represents them. Uncle Sam for the USA, Marianne in France, Mother India. Others have a legendary figure, who was real at one point but is now shrouded in myth, like King Arthur in England. For Denmark, Holger Danske is both. He was probably real, although he didn’t live in Denmark. He was a Danish knight living in France in 8th century, serving Charlemagne and he appears in several of the epic poems of the time as Ogier the Dane. When those poems were translated into Old Norsk, he became Oddgeir danski, which gradually morphed into Holger Danske. He has been a hero for centuries. And he is a sleeping hero. The legend is that when Denmark is in trouble, Holger Danske will rise from his slumber and come to its defense. This is why during World War II, when Denmark was occupied by the Nazis, one of the largest resistance groups called itself Holger Danske. If you’re not Danish, you may have experienced Holger Danske in the form of consumer products. There is a Holger Danske moving company with trucks all over Denmark, a Holger Danske beer, Holger Danske Aquavit liquor, Holger Danske tobacco. There’s a Holger Danske bar. Holger Danske has appeared on the Danish national football shirt.  And, very famously, there’s a statue of Holger Danske in the basement of Kronborg Castle, often known as Hamlet’s Castle, in Helsingør, Denmark – which Shakespeare referred to as Elsinore. I go by the castle in my new audio tour of Helsingør for VoiceMap. Check it out at voicemap.me/hamlet.  --------------

In June of each year, the streets of Denmark are suddenly full of young people wearing stiff white caps with bands of various colors - burgundy, midnight blue, light blue. These teenagers have just graduated from gymnasium, the Danish equivalent of high school, and the white hat is a sign of that accomplishment.  They wear the white hat everywhere they go for the two or three weeks after final exams, and it awakens a deep sentimentality in the usually practical and private Danes. It has a sort of magic.  When my daughter received her white cap last year, total strangers stopped her in the street to say “Congratulations on the hat” – tillykke med huen. Bus drivers congratulated her as she boarded, and so did supermarket clerks at the checkout counter.  Getting the hat is seen as a very happy occasion on the road from childhood to the big wide world. The white cap holds a special place in the Danish national consciousness. The open-backed truck tour If you visit in Denmark in June, you’ll see teenagers celebrating their graduation, riding through town on the back of open-backed trucks, wearing their fresh white caps and cheering or blowing whistles. Using there’s some pop music pumping at a very high volume.  The sides of the truck are covered with white banners, traditionally bedsheets, on which are painted slogans that are more or less obscene. Everybody on the truck except the driver is several beers in and shouting at passerby on the sidewalk, who shout back.   

If you’re only in Denmark for a few months, it might not be worth the investment in time to learn much more than the basic pleasantries in Danish. But you plan to stay in Denmark for more than a year or so, it’s a good idea to learn some Danish – and your visa may require that you do so. Even if you’re not forced to, it’s a good idea to learn Danish if you plan to make a commitment to Denmark. It’ll make daily life easier: you’ll stop wanting to tear your hair out every time you run across a website or voice prompt that’s only available in Danish. You’ll have more job opportunities, since around half of the positions in Denmark are with national, regional, or local governments. Almost all governmental jobs require a working knowledge of Danish. Plus, a lot of social life in Denmark takes place in Danish: Danes, understandably, want to speak Danish to each other, particularly when they’re off duty with a beer in hand. Read more in Kay Xander Mellish's book "How to Work in Denmark" or at www.howtoliveindenmark.com.    ----------------- The Professional Benefits of Speaking Danish in Denmark While many Danes speak English fluently, knowing the local language can open up a broader spectrum of job opportunities. Being proficient in Danish is often a requirement in sectors such as education, healthcare, and public services. Moreover, speaking Danish fluently allows you to integrate more deeply into the workplace culture, which is highly valued in Danish society. Understanding and speaking Danish not only helps in daily communications but also demonstrates your commitment to your life and career in Denmark. It shows respect for the local culture and an eagerness to fully engage with the community, both of which are appreciated by Danish employers and colleagues. Best Danish Language Resources for Expats For expats moving to Denmark, there are numerous resources available to learn Danish. Many cities offer free Danish classes provided by the government, which are a great starting point. Additionally, there are private language schools offering intensive Danish language training for professionals, which can be tailored to your specific needs, whether you're looking for basic communication skills or fluency. Online courses and apps also offer flexibility for learning Danish at your own pace. These resources often include practical exercises and real-life scenarios that can prepare you for actual conversations in the workplace. How to Learn Danish Quickly for Working in Denmark To accelerate your Danish learning journey, immerse yourself in the language as much as possible. Engage with local media, listen to Danish radio, watch Danish TV shows and movies, and practice speaking with native Danes. This immersion will not only improve your language skills but also help you understand cultural nuances, which are crucial for effective communication in a professional setting. Additionally, learning essential Danish phrases for the workplace can make your daily interactions smoother and more productive. Simple phrases pertaining to greetings, meetings, scheduling, and professional courtesies can go a long way in building rapport with your coworkers. Danish Language Skills for Jobs in Denmark In competitive job markets, having Danish language skills can give you a significant edge. For positions that involve direct communication with customers or clients, such as sales or customer service, Danish is often mandatory. Even in international companies where the corporate language is English, local language skills might be necessary for liaising with local clients, regulatory bodies, or in negotiating contracts. Why Learn Danish for Working in Denmark Learning Danish for work goes beyond just expanding your job prospects. It enables you to participate fully in meetings, understand all documentation and legal requirements, and integrate into the social fabric of your workplace. It also greatly enhances your expat experience, making everyday tasks such as shopping, dining out, and dealing with bureaucracy much easier. In conclusion, while it is possible to live and work in Denmark without speaking Danish, learning the language is incredibly beneficial. It opens up a wider range of job opportunities, helps you integrate into Danish society, and enriches your personal and professional life. So, consider investing in Danish language courses that cater to your professional needs and start your journey towards achieving professional success in Denmark.

A story I’ve heard over and over again when I talk to internationals working in Denmark is this: They thought they were going to get fired. They’d been working for a year or so at professional-level job in Denmark, often one they’d been recruited for, but they’d never heard any positive comments from their manager. They started to worry. They were doing their best, but maybe it just wasn’t good enough. Were they going to lose the job? Were they going to have to go back home, humiliated, and explain the whole thing to their friends and family? Expecting bad news This was what was on their mind when they went into their annual employee review. They were expecting some pretty bad news. Instead, they got a promotion. And a raise. Their manager thought they were doing great. But the Danish approach to employee feedback is generally – “No news is good news”. You have a job, you’re doing that job, we’ll let you know if there are any problems. Positive feedback is uncommon in Denmark, because Danes themselves are often uncomfortable receiving compliments. The façade of equality Compliments run smack-dab into the Jante Law, which says specifically that “Don’t think that you’re better than us.” When you give someone a compliment, you lift them above you, if only for a moment, and that disturbs the equality, or at least the façade of equality, which is so important in Denmark. So compliments are not a natural thing in Denmark, either on the job or in your personal life.   Read more at www.howtoliveindenmark.com

Whether you're navigating the cobbled streets of Copenhagen on a first date, exploring the charming countryside with a new companion, or swiping right in the pursuit of love, this episode offers the inside scoop on Danish dating culture. We explore different facets of the Danish dating scene, from casual meet-ups in cozy bodegas to the commitment in long-term relationships in Denmark. We bring you stories, expert advice, and real-life experiences about finding love and maintaining relationships in the happiest country on Earth. Let’s start by unpacking the Danish dating culture. Known for its direct communication style, dating in Denmark can be refreshingly straightforward. Danes value honesty and usually say what they mean without much beating around the bush. We'll explore how this directness affects both initial meetings and the development of deeper connections. We'll take you through the trendiest spots for meeting Danish singles, highlighting popular online dating platforms in Denmark such as Tinder, which is widely used by Danish singles seeking both fun and serious relationships. We’ll discuss the nuances of online dating in Denmark, and how different it is from other countries, with insights on what to expect when engaging with Danish profiles. Navigating through Danish romantic practices, we'll delve into how relationships often start with a simple coffee date rather than extravagant gestures. Understanding Danish etiquette is crucial; for instance, don't be surprised that when dating a Dane, you might be expected to split the bill. This speaks to the deeply ingrained values of equality and independence that define Danish society. Furthermore, the episode will cover the importance of public displays of affection in Denmark. You'll learn why a Dane might prefer a discreet smile or a light touch over grand public gestures. Join us as we explore the heartfelt and sometimes humorous world of romance in Denmark. Whether you are a Dane looking to understand the subtleties of your own dating culture or an expat trying to navigate your way through the Danish heart, this podcast is your companion. Let us take you on a journey through the streets and hearts of Denmark.

Many internationals newly arrived in Denmark struggle with the long Danish winter.  The darkness that starts to fall in the early afternoon means that 5pm looks just like 8pm, which looks just like midnight, which looks just like 5am. Dense, inky black sky. During the daytime there’s a dim grey light, sometimes accompanied by a soupy fog of tiny raindrops. It’s tough to handle - even for Danes. Many people living through this time in Denmark describe feeling low-energy – sløj is the very descriptive Danish term. It translates directly to “sluggish”. Others feel deeply depressed. Some eat too much, or drink too much. Some sleep all the time. It doesn’t have to be this way. Here are my tips for handling these dark months, which generally stretch from November until the end of February.   Enjoy the brown charm of Danish winter nature It’s important to get outside during the brief period of light every day. Even if it’s just for 15 minutes on your lunch hour, it really helps.  Walking in nature is wonderful this time of year if you have right clothing, in particular the right footwear. A good pair of solid boots and you can even go out when it’s icy. Don’t neglect second-hand stores in Denmark. You can usually find a lot of good winter clothes there for not very much money. Parks, botanical gardens, forests – they all have a certain charm this time of year. A brown, winter charm, but a charm all the same.   The secret sauce: a project or a list with things you can check off Go see how the winter animals are doing. Deer parks are good, see what the deer are up to. And most Danish zoos are open year-round. Go see how happy the polar bears are when the weather is freezing! But my top tip for making it through the winter is a specific project, like learning how to knit, or learning how to make something out of wood, or even better, a list. If you have a list, you can check things off as you go along, and you get a feeling of progress as the dark months drag on. Read more at howtoliveindenmark.com.  

It’s almost Week 1, in the weekly numbering system that’s widely used in Northern Europe, where the year starts with week 1 and runs through to Week 52 or 53, depending on the calendar. It’s very efficient for planning, so you don’t have to say something messy like “What about that week that starts Monday June 3…” Week 1 starts on January 1, and everything follows that in perfect order. But before January 1 we have New Year’s Eve, a day that fills me with trepidation to be honest, because in Denmark, New Year’s Eve is all about amateur fireworks. Cannonballs, Roman Candles, Ding Dongs, Triple Extremes, these are the fireworks you can purchase and set off yourself in a local parking lot, terrifying any nearby dogs and cats.  Having a family member in the hospital business, I can’t help but think that today, December 26, there are a few amateur fireworks fans who have perfectly well-functioning eyes and fingers right now who won’t have them on January 2. The Queen's Speech New Year’s Eve celebrations start at 6pm, when the Queen Margrethe gives her annual speech, live.  To the uninitiated, this looks like a woman sitting at her desk reading from a pile of papers – she refuses to use a TelePrompter – but it’s all been intricately planned, from the clothes to the jewelry to the flowers to the text itself to reflect the themes and priorities of the year gone by. There’s even a website that gives odds on what words and themes will appear.  The Queen now keeps her pile of papers together with a paper clip. In past years, she left them loose, and on one particular occasion they got out of order and she had to desperately search through them on air to find her place. The comedian Ulf Pilgaard, a large man who dressed up as a colorful burlesque imitation of the Queen, used to make this incident part of his act, throwing papers up in the air like Harpo Marx. Just as an aside, when this comedian who imitated the Queen retired last year, the Queen herself showed up at his final performance and shook his hand. Having such a good sense of humor about herself is why Queen is so beloved, even by people who do not really like the monarchy.  Some Danes even stand up to watch the Queen’s speech on TV. It always ends with “Gud Bevare Danmark”, God Protect Denmark. "Wreath cake"  After the speech, it’s dinner time, followed by a very sweet cake called kransekage – which translates to “wreath cake.” It’s made of a lot of rings delicately placed on top of each other, in a little tower. There’s lot of marzipan involved in this cake. I’m not a marzipan fan myself, but if you are, you’ll like this cake.  Read more at howtoliveindenmark.com

If you are an international who lives in Denmark, or someone who wants to, you have to learn the Danish way of dealing with conflict. This might be with a colleague, or your upstairs neighbors, or the authorities at the commune. In these cases, it’s very important not to lose your temper or raise your voice. And this can be tricky if the culture you come from, your culture of origin, is a passionate culture. Denmark is not a passionate culture. If you hear someone talking about their passion here, it's almost always some sort of hobby, or the summer home they have been fixing up for years. Their passion is almost never a person or a cause. And they generally use the English or French word passion, not lidenskab, which is the rather clumsy Danish translation. So, the keywords to handling conflict here are not strength and passion, they are humor and equality. You have to take the approach that you and the person you disagree with are equals. Your counterparty isn’t someone you can push around, but they’re also not someone better than you that you have to bow down to. One of Danes’ favorite expressions is øjenhøjde, or eye level. They love that concept. When Prince Christian, the future king of Denmark, recently turned 18, several of his birthday greetings from the public said, Remember to always stay at eye level with your people. The person you disagree with is your human equal, even if they’re a teacher or a manager or someone who works for the government. The other best strategy getting a conflict resolved in Denmark is to find the humor in it. If you can make the other person laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, you’re halfway there. Keep it as light as you possibly can, assume good faith, and assume that the other person really would like to solve the problem, and assume that it is solvable, which isn’t always true, but it’s a good first assumption. Humorously acknowledge your contribution to the problem, whatever it might have been, and own your mistakes. Danes really like people that admit they’ve made a mistake and have a sense of humor about it. Be as practical as possible. Danes are practical to a fault. Focus on something that can really get accomplished, not big noble concepts of truth and justice. I have seen internationals in Denmark make disagreements much worse than they have to be by raising their voices, telling the other person they are racist or sexist, threatening to call in somebody’s boss or threatening to expose them online, which is illegal, by the way. Denmark has very strict privacy laws – if you catch someone stealing your bike and you post a photo of them online, you’re the one who will hear from the police first.   Read more at howtoliveindenmark.com  

Denmark is getting rich selling pharmaceuticals to other countries, but within Denmark itself, the approach is inconsistent. Getting illegal drugs doesn't seem to be too difficult, but getting legal drugs from your doctor can be.

When I first arrived in Denmark, you could shut down any dispute in Denmark by appealing to equality and the common good. Solidarity - “solidaritet” -  and “fælleskab”, or community, or even “samfundssind”, societal spirit, were magic words. They still are with the older generation that built Denmark’s welfare state. If you want to convince this generation of anything, just make a reference to solidarity and community and societal spirit. Works like a charm. I’m often asked if the younger generation is as dedicated to these principles as their elders, and if they still follow the "Jante Law". Jante Law is not really a law – it’s like a legend, in which people living in Denmark are not supposed to act like they’re better than anyone else, or smarter than anyone else, or know more than anyone else.  But young people aren’t too keen to put up with that, in particular in an environment where they are competing internationally. For many Danish young people, the idea that all Danes are equal and we must all move together, at the same pace, seems outdated. And one contemporary example is the rise of the electric bike.  What has now been accepted in Denmark’s bike lanes is a concept that is used to be very "uDansk", or un-Danish….that some people simply go faster than others.    This is the 125th episode of the "How to Live in Denmark podcast", and originally ran in 2023. Get all of Kay Xander Mellish's books about Denmark at http://books.howtoliveindenmark.com. Book Kay for a talk to your group or organization at http://events.howtoliveindenmark.com.  

Many people who visit Denmark are fans of the Vikings, the colloquial name for Scandinavians before the medieval era, although technically speaking the Viking raiders were at their peak in the years 800-1100.  There are plenty of opportunities, especially now during tourist season, to see modern-day Danes dressed up as Vikings, building wooden ships, cooking over open fires, and fighting with swords and shields. Exhibitions like this are very popular with visitors from overseas.  What they might not know is that you can see actual Vikings in Denmark, or what’s left of their bodies. It was common in the Viking era and before to toss sacrificial items and people into peat bogs, which, it turns, out preserves bodies and clothing and hair very well. So there are several places in Denmark where you can see actual humans from the Viking age, more than a thousand years old, and sometimes their clothes and hairstyles, sometimes even the last food they ate, reclaimed from their stomachs.  Some bodies are so well-preserved that they still have fingerprints.  The top spot for this is near Aarhus, the Moesgaard Museum. It’s a huge museum that’s interactive, immersive, almost overpowering.  You will see hundreds of Viking objects and and weapons and skeletons, amid multimedia exhibits. For example, there’s a room that lets you experience of what it was like to be in the middle of a Viking battle, with armed warriors shouting and screaming and running at you from all directions.  It’s overwhelming, because the people it celebrates lived such brutal lives. Sacrificing people, sacrificing animals, killing each other with clubs and daggers and axes to the head in violent raids.  It’s a lot. After a while I found myself cowering in the gift shop. (Read more at howtoliveindenmark.com)   This is the 124th episode of the "How to Live in Denmark podcast", and originally ran in 2023. Get all of Kay Xander Mellish's books about Denmark at http://books.howtoliveindenmark.com. Book Kay for a talk to your group or organization at http://events.howtoliveindenmark.com.

In Denmark, the right to a long summer vacation is enshrined into law - the national vacation law, which states that all employees have a right to three weeks’ vacation between May and September. Shops close, too. An ice cream shop in my neighborhood closed down for the entire month of July last year. You would think this would be peak time for ice cream, but for the owners of the ice cream shop, their own vacation was more important. This year, I noticed that the bicycle store up the street is closed for three weeks – hope you didn’t want a new bike to enjoy the summer. So is the local "smørrebrød" sandwich shop. Too bad about your picnic. Danes believe that if you take a good, long, Danish vacation, you’ll come back refreshed, with new perspectives. Free time is precious in Denmark – certainly more important than prestige, since people don’t generally use their job titles, and far ahead of money, since whatever you have the government will be taking a big bite out of. Free time is cherished, free time is wealth, and that’s one of the reasons the summer vacation is so prized.  You’ll often hear Danes ask each other how many weeks they’re taking for summer vacation. “So, this year, are you taking 3 or 4?”   This is the 123th episode of the "How to Live in Denmark podcast", and originally ran in 2023. Get all of Kay Xander Mellish's books about Denmark at http://books.howtoliveindenmark.com. Book Kay for a talk to your group or organization at http://events.howtoliveindenmark.com.

Denmark is a rich country, but does it have rich people? It does, but Denmark’s wealthy tend to keep a low profile, due to the informal Jante Law in Denmark that prohibits too much showing off.  That said, spring and summer is great time to see Danish rich people in their natural habitat. That’s when they put the roof down on their expensive German cars and drive through the medieval old towns, drink rosé chilled in silver buckets at fancy outdoor cafés, or sail through the harbor on their personal boats of various sizes. In the summer, Denmark’s rich come out to play.  There are two types of wealth in Denmark, old wealth and new wealth. Old wealth is the leftovers of Denmark’s nobility, Dukes and Counts and Barons, even though noble privileges were officially abolished in 1849. Many of these families still own their old castles and country houses, some of which have been turned into hotels or fancy restaurants. You can stay there for a weekend with your sweetheart, very romantic. And then there’s new wealth. Denmark’s richest man owns Bestseller, a fast fashion chain that owns names like Vero Moda and Jack & Jones. The heirs to LEGO, which is less than 100 years old, are also quite well off, and so are the heirs to the Ecco shoe fortune. Finance types and entrepreneurs also figure on the list of richest people in Denmark. Every year, one of the local newspapers publishes a list of Denmark’s top taxpayers – the people and companies who have paid the most taxes. In 2020, the top individual was a successful hedge fund guy who somehow ended up paying more taxes than Danske Bank, Denmark's largest bank.  In 2021, the list featured a man who got rich selling COVID quick tests.  While there are small wealthy neighborhoods in Odense and Aarhus, most of Denmark’s rich live in the Whisky Belt, which is the area along the coast north of Copenhagen. It’s called the whisky belt because back in the day, whisky was the most expensive alcoholic drink. Poor people drank beer and schnapps.   This is the 122th episode of the "How to Live in Denmark podcast", and originally ran in 2023. Get all of Kay Xander Mellish's books about Denmark at http://books.howtoliveindenmark.com. Book Kay for a talk to your group or organization at http://events.howtoliveindenmark.com.

When you’ve been an international in Denmark for a while, as I have, you sometimes forget what it was like to arrive here for the first time and know nothing. I remember arriving just about this time of year and being astonished by all the public holidays in spring. I’d arrived to work, but the office kept shutting down. Now one of my various gigs is cultural training for newcomers, paid for by the big corporations that bring them here. The questions they ask bring me back to the time when I first arrived. One of the most popular questions is pretty basic: How do I send a letter in Denmark? What does a postbox look like? Where do I buy a stamp? I also get a lot of questions about Danish bicycle culture, which the Danish government promotes so heavily in its tourist campaigns. A nice man newly-arrived from Russia asked me: Will it be possible for me to get a bicycle in Denmark? I said yes, it would. But hey, there are no dumb questions. (Would it be possible for me, Kay, to get a bicycle in Moscow? I have no idea.) Bicycle culture is often exaggerated in Denmark – the truth is, the number of kilometers cycled each year keeps falling, and the number of cars keeps increasing, even thought it is very expensive. You can still get by with only a bike in Copenhagen and Aarhus, but in the less urban parts of Denmark, life will be uncomfortable without a car.   This is the 122th episode of the "How to Live in Denmark podcast", and originally ran in 2023. Get all of Kay Xander Mellish's books about Denmark at http://books.howtoliveindenmark.com. Book Kay for a talk to your group or organization at http://events.howtoliveindenmark.com.

The hottest competitive sport in Denmark over the past year hasn’t been handball, or football, or badminton. It’s been chasing cheap butter in the supermarket. Recent inflation has doubled the price of butter – in some places, up to 30 kroner – but if you rush, you can get…a package of butter for 10 kroner at one supermarket…wait, only three packages per customer…hey, this competing supermarket has matched the price…look, this other one has it for only 5 kroner…ohhhhhh, it’s sold out for today. Better come earlier tomorrow. Butter chasing is how even high-achieving, high-earning Danes have been spending their time. Nobody wants to pay 30 kroner for butter. ----- Butter is a part of the Danish soul. The Danish word for butter is smør…you might be familiar with smørrebrød, the famous open-faced Danish sandwiches. Smørrebrød means buttered bread. So even though inflation has hit Denmark recently just like everyplace else in the world, supermarkets use low, low butter prices to bring in customers who will buy their other goods. Butter is big business in Denmark – it is one of the world’s top 10 butter exporters – and dairy in general is a big part of the traditional Danish diet. There used to be corner shops called mejeri, dairy shops, that only sold dairy goods and eggs. Evolutionists would tell you that Scandinavians evolved to get more Vitamin D from food, since they don’t get much from the sun for most of the year. ----- If you’re learning Danish, look up all the expressions that begin with the word “smør.” I counted about 30 in Den Danske Ordbog, Denmark’s official online dictionary. One well-known expression is smørgris – butter pig. That’s someone who loves butter so much that they eat great amounts of it, with gusto. Or smørhul, butter hole. A butter hole takes its name from the hole in the middle of a bowl of oatmeal. You make a hole so you can put the butter inside. But smørhul has a bigger meaning. A ”butter hole” or smørhul, is a way to describe a very nice place, safe from the tumultuous world around it. A “butter hole” is the way many Danes see Denmark itself.   This is the 121th episode of the "How to Live in Denmark podcast", and originally ran in 2023. Get all of Kay Xander Mellish's books about Denmark at http://books.howtoliveindenmark.com. Book Kay for a talk to your group or organization at http://events.howtoliveindenmark.com.

It seems as if every country has a city or region that it is the butt of jokes. The rest of the country makes fun of the locals’ unattractive accents and supposedly low-end behavior. In Denmark, that city is Randers. Randers is a city in Northern Jutland, about a half hour away from Aarhus. It used to be bigger than Aarhus, and bigger than Aalborg too, but it was a manufacturing town, and when manufacturing fell apart in Denmark after the Second World War, so did Randers. The stereotype of Randers today is...muscle meatheads, possibly criminal... possibly in some sort of motorcycle gang... with a rough, gravelly accent... lots of tattoos and leather. And that’s just the women. The men are the same but with shorter haircuts. Listen to hear more about Randers and how Danish urban planners ruined what was once a very nice medieval town into a paradise for very fast cars and Mokaï, a canned alcoholic fruit cider sometimes called "Randers champagne." Find out how you can spend more than DK1000 on a pair of gloves in Randers, and how you can visit a full replica of Elvis Presley's mansion Graceland nearby.    This is the 120th episode of the "How to Live in Denmark podcast", and originally ran in 2023. Get all of Kay Xander Mellish's books about Denmark at http://books.howtoliveindenmark.com. Book Kay for a talk to your group or organization at http://events.howtoliveindenmark.com.

A country like Denmark, with so much coastline and water, needs a lot of bridges - and there have been 5 new colorful, stylish bridges built in Copenhagen alone in the past decade. And because this is Denmark, and people love design, each bridge has its own special look. You can’t just put up a few bridge supports and a deck on top for traffic. You need style, and you need a colorful name. Consider, for example, the multicolored Kissing Bridge in Copenhagen. It’s not named that because you’re supposed to kiss on the bridge, although you can if you like. It’s named that because it breaks in half on a regular basis to let ships through, and then it’s supposed to come together again like a kiss. The Kissing Bridge has needed to visit a relationship counselor, however, because there have been constant problems getting it to kiss. It wasn’t quite aligned the way it was supposed to be. It seems to work now, although it’s rather steep and a difficult ride for bicyclists, which is rather a shame, because it is a bicycle and pedestrian bridge only. There are no cars on it. The Bicycle Snake and the Brewing Bridge a little further down the harbor are also just for cyclists and walkers, and so is the Little Langebro bridge.

After some time out of Denmark, Kay returns and finds a whole new list of things to love. Swimming in Copenhagen harbour is a delight - the once-industrial waterway has been cleaned up enough to become a giant swimming zone.  The wild blackberry bushes are ready for harvest, and there are plenty in public spaces - like near the railway and S-train tracks - where the blackberries are totally free, first come, first serve. Wash them well and they make for a wonderful blackberry pie,  a blackberry crumble, or even a blackberry smoothie. And Kay even finds something to admire about the Danish cops, who are more likely to approach miscreants with sarcasm than with guns drawn.  

It’s hard to be a teenager no matter who you are or where you live, but spare a thought for the two teenagers of the Danish Royal Family. 16-year-old Christian - the future King Christian XI - and 15-year-old Isabella have to deal with family photo calls and media events, leaked Tik Tok videos, and a TV documentary this week accusing their boarding school of being a toxic environment.

Denmark has several amusement parks, including the original Legoland, but the ones I know best are the ones in Copenhagen - Tivoli Gardens and Bakken. Tivoli and Bakken show two different sides of the Danish character.   Tivoli is the sleek, confident, high-end image that Denmark likes to present to the world: it has exquisite flower gardens, fancy shops and restaurants, and a theater that hosts world-class performers. Bakken is more homey, more quirky, a little shabby, and a bit more hyggelig, under my own definition of hygge as “unambitious enjoyment”.  The differences between the two parks also illustrates the class differences in Denmark – even though Danes like to pretend there are no class differences in egalitarian Denmark.

It’s springtime, and the cherry trees are about to bloom in Copenhagen Northwest, which is usually the only time people who live outside Northwest bother to go there. Northwest is a working class neighborhood, so much so that the streets are named after working-class occupations. While other Copenhagen neighborhoods have streets named after kings and queens and generals, Northwest has brick-maker street, and book-binder street, and rope-maker street, and a barrel-maker street.   But there are other things to see in Northwest besides the cherry trees, which have become a bit of a crowd scene since they were reported on by a national news network.

Newcomers to Denmark often complain that the locals aren’t chatty. Danes don’t want to converse on the bus, or on the train, or in line at the supermarket, or really anyplace that isn’t a designated social zone. Like the company canteen at lunch, or a dinner party at home to which they have invited a precise number of people to match the number of chairs that they own. In general, Danes rarely talk to strangers unless they are drunk, but there is one exception: Danish people over 75 years old. Danes over 75, or even 70 or 65, often live alone, and they are often eager for conversation. Some don't speak much English, which means that spending time with them is an ideal opportunity for practicing your spoken Danish.  Danish municipalities, sensing a match, have even set up special programs to bring internationals and the elderly together.

No matter how they feel about the institution of royalty, almost everyone likes Denmark’s Queen Margrethe, who is celebrating 50 years on the throne this week. Every New Year’s Eve, the streets of Denmark go quiet as the Queen makes her annual televised speech to her subjects. I find the speeches pretty much the same every year, they’re about being kind to each other, taking care of the environment, and such. The real entertainment is in the Queen’s wardrobe - she designs her own clothes, and often chooses rather un-Danishly bright colors -  and whether she’ll get her carefully written note cards mixed up.  Every year she thanks the Danish military for its work, and every year she makes sure to shout out to the Faroe Islands and Greenland, the farthest flung parts of her kingdom. And she ends every annual speech with “GUD BEVARE DANMARK” – God Save Denmark.  The Queen is the head of the Danish state church, and the Danish state – she still signs all the laws, including the specific law that made me a citizen.  But the Queen is also an artist. She paints, and draws, and has designed stage sets for the Royal Ballet.     

Drinking, and drinking heavily, is common in Denmark at holiday time. Whether it's the traditional "gløgg" - hot spiced wine with nuts, orange peel and a little brandy - or the specially-made (and specially-strong) Christmas beers, you'll be offered a great deal of alcohol at almost every seasonal social event. But what if you're a nondrinker, or a light drinker? In this episode we'll tell you how to enjoy Christmas in Denmark while avoiding alcohol. 

Denmark has a thriving second-hand economy, in part because people generally don't look down on second-hand goods here. The Danes are practical people – why should something be thrown out when it can be used again? And their passion for sustainability means it’s cool to reuse something that already exists instead of manufacturing something new. There is a network of “genbrug” (recycling) stations all over all over the country, where people can leave stuff they don’t want and other people can take it for free. And there's a thriving market for second-hand furniture in the classic Danish design style. 

Getting to Sweden from Copenhagen is easy: you take a quick trip across the Øresund Bridge in your car or on the train. Getting to Norway from Copenhagen isn’t too hard: there’s a ferry that runs every day from Nordhavn. Getting to Germany from Copenhagen, on the other hand, is a headache. But in 2029, a new direct tunnel will open between Denmark and Germany. The Danes are building it with very little help from the Germans, who originally weren't too interested in a tunnel that went through an obscure and neglected part of their country.  Thousands of construction workers will be required to build this tunnel to Germany, and many of them will be internationals. But what will this influx and money and people mean to the southern Danish island of Lolland, which is currently one of the poorest parts of Denmark?

One of Denmark’s cheapest and most colorful vacations is a few hours riding back and forth on Copenhagen’s big yellow Harbor Bus, or “Havnebussen”, a commuter ferry designed to transport ordinary citizens between downtown and the urban islands of Christianshavn and Amager. For visitors to Copenhagen - or residents who need an inexpensive adventure -  the harbor bus can take you from tourist trap to high culture to party culture, from shabby little wood shacks to neighborhoods of chic glass apartment houses with their own private beach. All for as little as 14 kroner, 2 dollars, or 2 euro. Enjoy this audio tour of 7 of the "Harbor Bus" stops - if you like, you can take it along and listen as you ride the waves.

When I mentioned going to Esbjerg for a few days off this spring, many of my friends in Copenhagen said - why? Esbjerg doesn’t have a reputation as a vacation spot, even though its fifth-largest city in Denmark and the youngest big city.  For Copenhagen snobs, Esbjerg is a fishing town, which it was 50 years ago but isn’t really anymore. It’s an oil and wind energy town, industrial but very modern. I like Esbjerg, perhaps because it is a very masculine town. If you’re a woman who likes men, if you’re a guy who likes men, really rough and ready type men, Esbjerg is your town, because it is the home base for the oil workers and windmill mechanics who work on the North Sea coast of Denmark.  In addition, all that oil makes for great museums, and Esbjerg is also a great base for visiting the Viking town of Ribe and Fanø, a picturesque fishing island turned tourist attraction. 

No matter what the tourist brochures suggest, you probably won’t go *everywhere* on a bike in Denmark. And along with food and housing, getting around is a big part of the cost of living in Denmark. Here are a few tips to save money on trains, buses, cars, and even bike maintenance.

Anyone who has spent time living in Denmark knows that it’s one of the most expensive countries around. That’s true when it comes to food shopping, too. One Dane who had lived in the US explained it this way: “In Denmark, every supermarket is priced like Whole Foods.” For those of you who haven’t visited the States, Whole Foods is a high-end grocery chain nicknamed “Whole Wallet” or “Whole Paycheck.” But there are a few creative ways to save money on food in Denmark. Danes hate food waste, so the prices of some food in grocery stores actually drops near the end of the day or right before the item's expiration date.  You can visit farmer's markets, or if you live near the border, go shopping in Sweden or Germany to save cash.

I love old books. I love the kind of old books you get at antique bookstores or on the Internet Archive. And I have a good collection of old books about Denmark. I like old travel guides, most of which are still pretty useful because Denmark doesn’t tear a lot of things down the way they do, in say, Los Angeles or Hong Kong. In Denmark you’ll pretty much fine most castles and monuments right where somebody left them hundreds of years ago.  If you want to see a famous church or square or the Jelling Stone, your Baedecker guidebook from 1895 will work just fine for you in most cases.  But I can also recommend two great old books on Denmark, which you can probably find at your local antique book shop, or on DBA, the Danish auction site owned by eBay. 

While I’m not an authority on the Danish visa or immigration systems, I’m often asked for practical tips about moving to Denmark. So here are a few things to think about when you’re packing your suitcases or, if you’re doing a corporate move, packing your shipping container. Number one, make sure you bring money. Denmark is an expensive place to live where you will own less stuff, but better stuff. That said, there’s no need to bring much furniture, even mores if your furniture is nothing special. You can often buy Danish design furniture cheap at local second-hand stores and flea markets, and for everything else, there's always IKEA - in Denmark, or across the water in IKEA's homeland of Sweden. 

Denmark has had two female prime ministers and about forty percent of the people elected to the Folketing, the Danish Parliament, are women.  But when it comes to private industry, Danish women have one of the lowest participation rates in management in Europe. According to the OECD, only 26.5% of managers in Denmark are female, compared to 39.8% in the US. It’s not unusual to see a senior management team made up entirely of Danish males, with perhaps a Swedish or German male thrown in for diversity.  That said, the majority of adult Danish women hold paying jobs. The Danish tax system makes it very difficult for a couple to survive on one income, even a hefty one. 

It might seem like a counterintuitive time to talk about beaches, in the middle of a long, very cold winter. But in these times of COVID, beaches are one of the few places in Denmark you are currently allowed to meet up with family and friends. Beaches, parks, frozen-over lakes: these are the big social meeting points at time when cafés, restaurants, bars, shops, gyms, schools, theaters, museums, places of worship, and hairdressers, barbers, and nail salons are all closed.  But getting a small group together outdoors is still allowed, and the beach can still be a nice place to be – even if you have to put up with sand’s that frozen solid, slippery rocks, and bitter, bitter wind off the icy cold water.

I like to drive. I like to be on the open road, like in the American Southwest - Arizona, Nevada, Utah. Put your pedal to the metal, no one in front of you, no one in the rear view mirror. Just you and the road. You will not get that experience much in Denmark, a small country with a lot of people packed into a small area. There’s not a lot of open land here, not much living off the grid. Which doesn’t mean drivers don’t long for it. You’ll see those open roads in Arizona and Nevada in a lot of Danish TV advertisements. It’s frequently said about Denmark that it’s not a car country. You hear a lot of well-meaning internationals say that in Denmark you don’t need a car that you can bicycle everywhere you want to go.  That is true in the big cities - I don’t own a car myself. But most of my Copenhagen neighbors do. And cars are pretty much a necessity in the countryside. There are now 2.5 million cars in use in Denmark, roughly one for every other resident over age 18. 

When visiting Denmark, you’ll be offered Danish food, and expressing enthusiasm for it will go a long way towards generating harmony with your Danish friends. The good news is, Danish cuisine offers something for everyone.  If you’re a carnivore, don’t miss the Danish pork dishes, particularly "flæskesteg". That’s a crispy, fatty fried pork that’s the official national food. For people who prefer fish, there’s a great selection in this country surrounded by water. Curried herring and fried plaice are popular, and so are many types of salmon. Vegans can enjoy a wide choice of root vegetables, wonderful fresh Danish berries, or the sweet elderflower juice that is sometimes blended with vodka or champagne.

It’s a funny kind of summer this year in Copenhagen, quieter than usual, and more like a family event than a cosmopolitan city. Coronavirus came early to Denmark, the borders were shut down early, but they’re mostly open now to other Europeans. But the change came too late for many people to make summer vacation plans, so many of the usual tourist attractions are slightly forlorn.  There are a few Europeans around the Little Mermaid and the Royal Palaces, but not many. And there are no huge cruise ships full of Americans docking at Langelinie, or the busloads of Chinese tourists stopping to take pictures with the statue of Hans Christian Andersen. Copenhagen has become less of an international city than it was a year ago. Meanwhile, many Danes are spending their own summer vacations in Denmark, which has one major drawback - the Danish summer weather.

Among the many cultural questions I ask audiences during my How to Live in Denmark Game Show is “Which animal represents Denmark best?”? There never seems to be an obvious or generally agreed-upon answer. Sure, the bear represents Russia, the elephant Thailand, and the bald eagle the United States. But what about Denmark? Denmark does have a national animal – the mute swan (Cygnus olor) – but an image of a swan doesn’t provoke the kind of immediate association with Denmark that, say, a koala bear does with Australia. That said, mute swans are easy to find in Denmark. You can see them sailing down the quiet streams of the country’s historical parks, such as the vold in Fredericia or Utterslev Mose in suburban Copenhagen. But these strong, individualist, and often angry animals are a strange fit for a country that prides itself on co-operation and peacefulness. They’re also not really mute – in fact, they have a noisy hiss that can signal an attack if they feel their nest is threatened. Given that these muscular birds are about a meter tall and their wingspan can be twice that, you may feel threatened too.

Alcohol has a long history in Denmark. The Vikings brewed four types of beverages: ale, mead, fruit wine, and syra, a fermented milk – and for many centuries Danish babies have eaten øllebrød, which is a mix of old bread scraps and beer. Fast forward a few centuries, and alcohol is still part of almost every Danish gathering. Early in 2020, the EU Commission reported that Denmark placed an unhappy first in Europe in binge drinking and that it was one of the reasons Danes have the shortest expected lifespan in Western Europe. According to the report, 37% of adult Danes said they had “regular major alcohol usage,” which was nearly double the EU average of 20%.

January, February, and March are some of the dreariest months in Denmark – it’s dark, with no Christmas lights to pep it up – and many people are dealing with a heavy load of year-end debt from traveling, parties, dining out, and gifts. Along with religion, personal finance is a topic that is rarely discussed in Denmark. But the country has one of the highest rates of household debt in the world.  And once you get into debt in Denmark, it can be very difficult to get out.  

If you’re newly arrived in Denmark, making Danish friends is not easy – in fact, surveys show that one of the main reasons internationals end up leaving is the difficulty of building a network. The irony is that Danes are actually very good at friendship. Their friendships are strong, reliable, and deep-rooted. Friends can count on each other. But because Danes take friendships so seriously, they like to keep their number of friendships under control. They don’t want to take on more friends than they can keep their deep commitment to. The statement “I just don’t have room for any more friends” sounds perfectly sensible to Danes, and utterly stunning to foreigners. When internationals ask me how they can make Danish friends, I have one primary piece of advice. It is: find a Dane who did not grow up in the part of Denmark where you live now.

The relaxed approach to nudity in Denmark can be a surprise for many newcomers. It’s something they’re often confronted with at the local swimming hall, where a very large and strong attendant insists that they take off their entire swimsuit and shower thoroughly before going into the pool. Stripping off in front of strangers is new for a lot of internationals, and some try to place it a larger context of Danish morality. It hasn’t been entirely forgotten that Denmark was the first country in the world to legalize pornography in 1967. Some people still think of Denmark as a place where there is easy sex available and a generous display of naked boobs and butts.  

“Is there politeness in Denmark?”  That was the question I was recently invited on a national TV show to discuss. The implication was that I was supposed to say that Danes were not at all polite, because effusive praise and cheerful agreement make for a rather dull TV show. But Danes are not impolite. They have their own version of courteous behaviour, which is based on reinforcing aspects of their culture that they care about.