How to Momma Without Drama

How can we be faith-based parents, trusting God with the details of our parenting? We need to start by learning the character of God we can only trust him when we know him.we need to hold fast to the directions God gives us about parenting. We need to recognize when there are irrational fears present and nip it in the bud rather than feed it. next step is to build trust through relationships, repetition, and rebuking fears when they rise up.W e ultimately have to choose faith and trust God's sovereignty in the lives of our children. Listen to the Raising Kids on Your Knees Podcast: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-raising-kids-on-your-knees-75293319/

In this episode, we talk about inconsistent discipline leading to the most resistant behaviors. Consistent parenting helps children know what their caregivers want them to do. It helps them see how a parent will react when they misbehave inconsistent parenting is extremely difficult for children. Parents who change their minds frequently or fail to provide effective leadership or more likely to raise emotionally volatile kids. We need to remain consistent so we help them develop socially and emotionally in an appropriate fashion so we don’t have these challenges later on down the road. Check out the Raising Kids on Your Knees Podcast: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-raising-kids-on-your-knees-75293319/

Is your past holding you from what God is calling you to do in parenting? I met with parents recently who were beaten with belts as children who chose not to discipline at all. Their children were acting out terribly and being dishonest. I had shared with them they  needed to get healing from their experiences in order to raise the children according to how god expects them to. At what age do children understand actions and consequences? Three years and up is the answer but there are some exceptions to that rule. As your child grows matures, and begins to understand the connection between actions and consequences, you must start communicating the rules of your family home. You must explain to your children what you expect from them before you punish them for behavior.A few basic tips for discipline are always make eye contact -never ask something more than twice- Pick your battles- be consistent. Don’t let your past stop you from walking in God's freedom and calling! More mom podcasts. Raising Kids on Your Knees with Tina Smith: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Aq5n5wbY3FcQNEH488o90?si=a5a3b261d5214ba7 ⁠Legacy a Mom Podcast with Tina Smith and Britt Fortunato: https://open.spotify.com/show/7gUlB9MmhN1cTJT3RqYt2o?si=564d19841e844131 Flying Arrow Productions

There are three types of people, leaf people branch people, and root people. We need to desire to have root people in our lives. Leaf people come into your life just for a season. You can’t depend on them as they are weak and only come to take what they want but then when the wind comes, they leave. Branch people are the people who break away when life is tough and can’t hold too much weight. They are stronger than the leaves, but you still have to test the branches out to see if they can sustain pressure or if they will snap. Root people are important as they do things not to be seen. They are supportive, even if you go through difficult times. They stay to water you and nourish you at the root and will be not moved by the storms of life or your position. We need to be rooted in God and desire to be surrounded by people with roots that can always nourish us and support us in our lives. You can find Nellie at Avodah Family Coaching: www.avodahfamilycoaching.com Other mom podcasts for you to check out: Raising Kids on Your Knees: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Aq5n5wbY3FcQNEH488o90?si=de45c1647ca84017 Legacy - A Mom Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/7gUlB9MmhN1cTJT3RqYt2o?si=43c6b33a815b4473

There are a multitude of sources that could be triggering anxiety in our children, as well as in us as adults. A few of these are personal relationships, medical conditions, traumatic experiences, a job, even genetics play a role. Anxiety is a manifestation of something much deeper. It indicates that your life is out of alignment and something is wrong. In this episode, I share a story of a child who is diagnosed with severe anxiety, and once we got to the root of her cause, she has been free of it. You can find Nellie at: https://avodahfamilycoaching.com Listen to the Raising Kids on Your Knees Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Aq5n5wbY3FcQNEH488o90?si=0facc080aebd4900 Listen to Legacy - A Mom Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/7gUlB9MmhN1cTJT3RqYt2o?si=ee4f5ded06064f32

People will throw stones at you, don’t throw them back, but use them to build an empireI’m sure all of you remember the saying from your childhood sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt me While this is true, real sticks and stones would physically hurt us the psychological damage done by throwing hurtful words is real hurdles that we deal with in life I think back to different circumstances in my life when I’ve been criticized in the form of stones and the truth is, it all depends on how I’m feeling at the time if I’m confident in what I’m doing, then I would be able to shrug off some of the comments, but if I’m feeling unsure or uncertain then I will spend time worrying about what has been said rather than spend time on something constructive You have to make a decision, and I promised you that the next time you encounter someone throwing stones at you you would take it as feedback to put into a metaphorical box, and choose not to engage in any further discussion with them, but to try to look at it, objectively and see if there was any element of truth in their comments Is this hard absolutely but we truly have to look at it as a season to learn as much as we can without allowing those negative feelings and comments to stop our progress so we can use those stones to help us build our empires whatever that may look like I would love to hear how you have managed your stones being thrown at you and how you’ve used them to continue building yourself and your empire!

God created us to have dreams and imagine. Steve Harvey just shared a recent message on imagination being a preview of life‘s coming attractions. He went on to share that Albert Einstein said imagination is everything and the evidence of things not seen. In this episode, I share how I imagined and dreamed about Hope Community Center, and now it is opening, and how faithful God is when you place your dreams in his hands. CS Lewis said you were never too old to sit another goal or to dream a new dream never stop imagining! You can find Nellie at: https://avodahfamilycoaching.com

I don’t know about you, but my favorite job on earth has been being a mom. I never wanted anything more than to raise wonderful human beings who will give back to society, love God, and love others. As I have shared, I’ve always been entrenched in mentoring other moms and families. I know I have shared a handful of struggles that I have faced with my youngest child who was diagnosed with a processing issue, as well as ADHD, and the behaviors and challenges that came with it There have been countless times that I have felt disqualified to be in the position I have been in. https://avodahfamilycoaching.com

Join Nellie this week as she continues with her discussion on hypocrisy and why Jesus would change it. Hypocrisy is the gap between what we show and who we are. Let us start with our hearts today, and make a choice to be transparent and undo hypocrisy one step at a time. You can find Nellie at: https://avodahfamilycoaching.com

I’m sure most of you have seen the bracelets people wear that say what would Jesus do? These bracelets are supposed to serve as a reminder before one is tempted to do wrong to remind themselves and ask themselves, What would Jesus do in that situation? On the other hand, I recently heard a message, titled What Would Jesus Undo? I think the first thing Jesus would undo is hypocrisy. There is a famous author, and theologian by the name of Brennan Manning, who quotes the following - the single greatest cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, yet go into the world, and deny him with their life. So what would Jesus undo- He would certainly undo hypocrisy. hypocrisy is the gap between what we show, and who we are- in other words what we say, and how we live. Titus 1:16 says they profess to know God but deny him through their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work. I don’t know about you, but I do not want to profess to know God and then deny him by my works. Jesus himself hated hypocrisy, so we should as well, as moms, we need to make sure that we don’t have a mask on in front of others, and our children see another side of us we need to remain transparent and honest and be the best example we can before our family and for God. https://avodahfamilycoaching.com

God desires, that we be utterly dependent on Him, and are desperate for his help and comfort. He is a true source more reliable than our own mother and father. Are we unashamed to cry out when we need him no matter who is around? In this episode, Nellie shares with you something that happened in her local grocery store that showed her the importance of being completely dependent on God. You can find Nellie at: https://avodahfamilycoaching.com Flying Arrow Productions

I get many questions from parents asking about sibling rivalry. I can wholeheartedly say that while raising my four children people would say to us all the time your kids get along so well and seem so close what’s the secret? In this episode, I am sharing with you my best tips on how to be their problem-solving coach. You will learn how to teach them to handle disagreements and guide them toward skills for managing angry feelings, playing, being fair, and negotiating. You can find Nellie at: https://avodahfamilycoaching.com Flying Arrow Productions

As parents when you begin looking for daycare, the options are truly overwhelming. This is why I chose to do this podcast and I’m going to give you healthy signs of a great daycare and then red flags to look for. Join Nellie today as she gives you concrete things to look for when you are choosing childcare for your precious little one. You can find Nellie at: https://avodahfamilycoaching.com Flying Arrow Productions

As kids throughout the nation are heading back to school  I wanted to indulge you with a little back-to-school nostalgia, remembering when the beginning of the school year was synonymous with fresh highlighters, new notebooks, and new clothes. But aside from all the traditional reasons why our kids like going back to school - we need to ask ourselves what can we do as parents to keep a heartbeat of what is going on as well as create memories during the school year and for years to come. During today’s podcast, we talk about basic steps that we can take to continue to partner with our children on a daily basis when they are away from us at school. https://avodahfamilycoaching.com

Eighteen years did not feel enough for me… A crib was bought- Christmas trees were put up every year. The rocking chair years weren’t long enough…….the days pass uncounted until this moment, as parents we have now invested nearly 2 decades of our finances, time, and love into this young person so it’s natural to have a wide range of emotions about the process. https://avodahfamilycoaching.com https://raisingkidsonyourknees.org/articles-and-devotions/the-emotional-whiplash-of-sending-a-child-to-college A Letter to the Mom Who Just Sent Their Child to College by Tina Smith https://raisingkidsonyourknees.org/articles-and-devotions/a-letter-to-the-mom-who-just-sent-their-child-to-college Flying Arrow Productions

I came across an intriguing article from the author, Margaret Bisnow. She wrote a book, titled Raising An Entrepreneur. After interviewing 70 families -who raised highly successful and well-adjusted adults, and how they help their children achieve their dreams. I’m sharing this today because I am amazed at how new parenting styles  become so popular through social media, but that people don’t stop to look at the people who are teaching these philosophies, and whether or not they’ve had success themselves long-term with their own children. This author interviewed an extremely diverse group of different religions, family structures, education, income, and different races, but she found a common theme, which was respectful parenting. Unlike popular parenting styles which are permissive and overindulge children to avoid conflict, or the other extreme, which is total authoritarian, which is one-way communication with little consideration of the child’s emotional needs, respectful parenting is about seeing the child as rational independent people. And let me clarify there is a difference between authoritative parenting and authoritarian parenting. Authoritative parenting is what we followed in our household, and what has been proven for centuries to be the most effective. What this author is referring to is respectful parenting falls into that authoritative box that you want to embrace your child, for who they were meant to be and let them explore naturally, but be clear on your expectations and boundaries. You can find Nellie at https://avodahfamilycoaching.com Flying Arrow Productions

Today’s episode is called Don’t Turn Away Open Arms.  This is something I hear all too often and working with families when people say don’t give your child too much affection because it will ruin them and it really is the opposite. Did you know that affection changes the way brain pathways develop for general learning? It also changes the long-term way the brain and body manage stress. In a 30-year-old study, which was concluded in 2010, Duke University found that children who have mothers who displayed high amounts of physical affection grew up to experience less mental illness, higher relationships, success, and fewer psychosomatic symptoms. Physical touch may be your child’s primary way of expressing themselves and it also could be that they are craving closeness to you at times when they may feel anxious, insecure, or just seeking comfort Please try to pay attention if there are any patterns in regard to when your child wants hugs some examples could be after a firetruck or ambulance has gone by your home, when there’s fighting with siblings or others in the home, or maybe your child just using hugs to help them cope or to feel affirmed. Please always be aware to make your child feel safe and comfortable and if you feel they are not making adjustments to some of your current routines may be needed. The bottom line is please don’t listen to people who say you can hug them too much during these formative years. You can certainly introduce alternative methods of expressing physical affection, such as butterfly kisses, high-fives, or squeezing someone’s hand three times to signal I love you. https://avodahfamilycoaching.com Listen to more mom podcasts: https://raisingkidsonyourknees.org/podcast Flying Arrow Productions

In last week's episode, I shared a quote that kept me in check when parenting my children as a reminder that I’m not their friend first, but I’m to be the person in their life that challenges them to have a God conscience no matter what happens. In this week's episode, I elaborate more on good versus bad shame. Of course, God never wants us to shame anybody, however, he does want us to feel when we are faced with the situation shame in the sense of understanding what breaks his heart and what does not? Some people may refer to this as a sense of guilt but regardless we need to make sure that when we’re parenting our children, they have a moral backbone set for life end it only comes from having a God conscience first. https://avodahfamilycoaching.com

I’ve learned that when there is a quote that speaks to your values or reminds you of how you want to parent the best thing to do is to print it out and hang it on your refrigerator or store it in your phone looking at that quote will remind you of the bigger picture and can help you manage your emotions on a bad day or during tough times. One quote that stayed on my refrigerator while raising all four of my children was “To raise a child, without shame is to raise one with no immune system against evil” This was quoted by the famous speaker, Ravi Zacharias and was a reminder that I wasn’t created to be my child’s friend first I was created to be their parent and lead them and help develop their immune system against evil. Listen, parents in an ever-changing world with problems like cyber bullying and rising celebrity culture provide new challenges, and our world evolves at a rapid rate, but truly the best parenting advice stands the test of time … some of the most impacting quotes are as relevant today as they were when they were first spoken decades ago. Parents have a bigger job than ever because we genuinely are parenting against the norm when we parent this way, but we need to equip their children so they can intern change and affect our world for what’s right. You can find Nellie at: https://avodahfamilycoaching.com Listen to more mom podcasts: https://raisingkidsonyourknees.org/podcast Produced by Flying Arrow Productions

Desperate times call for desperate measures, right?! During these times, we all may have used a bribe or two with our children. We must proceed with caution not to parent using bribes to manipulate children to repeat a desired behavior as this is a control tactic. This makes children focus on the reward rather than choosing to do the right thing and our children will slowly lose the motivation to take initiative and desire to explore ventures that do not promise any material benefit if we parent this way. Let’s take the time to teach our children right from wrong, so they will have a strong, moral backbone and be motivated to take the initiative to make good choices because of what they’ve been taught. You can find Nellie at: https://avodahfamilycoaching.com Listen to more mom podcasts: https://raisingkidsonyourknees.org/podcast Flying Arrow Productions