I Am The Cute One

This episode originally aired 12/18/22. To cover "The Holiday," Ryan Sichelstiel (@rysic) signs up to do a house swap of his own, but finds he'll be staying in Hell as he spends the hour with a flu-ridden Chelsea and Donny, who are hopped up on NyQuil and hot toddies, respectively. White Lotus-inspired fan theories, fat holes, Viagra sponsorships, and Imogeon Heap sing-a-longs are brought up in the duo's sickness-induced haze. Also, Donny may be the main character of his life, but that main character turns out to be a sociopath when he shares his favorite (made up) celebrity conspiracy theory. Last, the Cuties submit the craziest things they've done for love. To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

(Stick around for the end for a special update from Donny!) Go to HelloFresh.com/cuteone10fm now to get 10 Free Meals + a Free breakfast for Life! One per box with active subscription. Free meals applied as discount on first box, new subscribers only, varies by plan. To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Go to HelloFresh.com/cuteone10fm now to get 10 Free Meals + a Free breakfast for Life! One per box with active subscription. Free meals applied as discount on first box, new subscribers only, varies by plan. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cuties, do you want to hear about our dreams? If not, Chelsea may break up with you on a golf course. What we do want to hear about is Lea Michele stealing the roles from childhood friends. Scott Kelly, if you need a job, send the Cute Ones an email. Stephanie Sanchez needs an assistant. Gatekeep. Girl boss. Shin kick. To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Cute Ones are cathargic this week as they cover the Karen Goldberg movie that everyone needs, Sister Act 2. The duo reminisce about middle school pranks, discuss what food they could eat every day, and plan the opening for their live show. Also, why was Delores needed at the school in this movie? Victor, did we mess anything up? If not, we promise to wake up and pay attention next time. To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chelsea almost unalived by a bee and got caught in a shootout this week and Donny looked like James Corden in the Cats movie, but they’re both here now to cover this week’s hottest headlines: the Dodgers won the World Series, Carly Rae Jepsen is pregnant, Jessica Lange announced her return to American Horror Story, and Zohran Mamdani became the Mayor-Elect of New York City! Also, Chelsea and Donny talk about what they do best: the moon (Chelsea) and Luigi Mangione (Donny). To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chelsea has done it again. The Cute Ones are watching The Running Man, a movie that hits a little too close to home. So instead, Donny forces the duo to cover Adam Sandler’s Click for five minutes. Then, Chelsea tries to get two months in a row where she picks the movies and Donny gets horned up about the Louvre robbers enough to plan what sounds he’d make if he was in porn. Also, manifestation works, and Chelsea’s dog got John Stamos in the news. Are you a low forehead? To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tell me about it, Stud. Donny and Chelsea are in their finest Grease costumes to cover the week’s hottest headlines, as well as discuss their weeks, including Donny being left alone in a haunted house and Chelsea being haunted by a smoke detector. Also, Kim Kardashian gave bush panties to orphans while her sister is making vag lollipops. And the most important news you’ll hear this week… Ariana Grande is brunette again. To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chelsea and Donny finish spooky season strong, with the Bette Davis/Joan Crawford psycho-biddy hit, "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?" You'll notice the duo are not in costumes, but they want to save June and Blanche costumes for a Halloween live show in the future. They also discuss Emma Stone's new movie, Mall World merch, and the slurs not allowed to be used in the Rivers household. And there is a twist this episode, Cuties - the gangster in "Home Alone" took acting lessons from Baby Jane. The Cuties love a Transatlantic accent! To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Cute Ones have been blocked in Russia, so instead of playing music this week, Chelsea is doing us all a favor by singing. Someone needs to do Donny a favor by buying him a sleep apnea machine because he fell asleep in the movie theater this week. Also, Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato released new music and the floating pumpkin race was a smashing (pumpkin) success. To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

SURPRISE! Please enjoy this sneak peek of our bonus content, usually exclusively over on our Patreon! FOR THE REST OF OUR DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES COVERAGE, ⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chelsea and Donny are continuing spooky season by covering the non-gorn 1998 horror film, Halloween: H20 (famously not starring Shannen Doherty). Then, they try to dig in to what being compared to Winnie from “The Wonder Years” means before lamenting about the fears of old people. To any headmistresses listening to this episode: what are your responsibilities exactly? Because Donny and Chelsea have no idea after this movie. Sorry there weren’t enough shower scenes.  To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Chelsea and Donny react to Wendy Osefo's arrest - IN REAL TIME - before discussing Donny's schedule to see Wicked: For Good five times in theaters, having a Fat Sister marathon, and the duo's thoughts on Renee Rapp in concert. Also... Chelsea goes to Mall World because why wouldn't she? To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You know what they always say: every witch needs a ghost, so to  start off spooky season, Donny and Chelsea are breaking down a movie without witches or ghosts - the vampire mafia classic, “Innocent Blood” (and how Vanessa Hudgens’ ‘Sneakernight’ ties in). But first - they recap “Aristocats.” Also, they touch on what plot lines have been missing for Athena Grant in 9-1-1, Shutterfly editing, and where to draw the line when booking sex hotels with your cousin. The Cute Ones beg you to stop talking about your job as a conversation starter and asking what celebrities smell like. THE CATARACS, BITCHES.  To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Donny and Chelsea are covering the cult classic that Roger Ebert called "jaw droppingly bad" - B*A*P*S, starring the AWARD WINNING ACTRESS, Halle Berry (although Chelsea doesn't think she should be). The duo hope to win a contest - white t-shirt or otherwise, but they'll settle for a $4 cocktail or a glass of toilet water. Happy Belated Bi Visibility Day! Where are the abs? To access AD FREE versions of our episodes, as well as bonus episodes and uncut audio and video,⁠ subscribe to our Patreon!⁠  If today's episode makes you laugh or scream, please do us a favor and rate our show 5 STARS on⁠ Apple⁠ or⁠ Spotify⁠ This is the easiest way for us to grow our community! Get your Cutie ⁠MERCH!⁠ We’re on YOUTUBE! Be sure to⁠ subscribe⁠ so you don’t miss a second of our hijinx - now on video! Follow Us on Social Media! TikTok: ⁠cuteonepodcast⁠ Chelsea:⁠ @ohnochels⁠ Donny:⁠ @realdonnywood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices