Let me start by confessing that I was originally set on calling this episode “Laying Down the ‘White Man’s Burden’”. After all my interview guest, Dave Coles, is a white British man who, as a young, idealistic volunteer, ventured from his home in the UK to make a difference in Africa. Inspired by a steady diet of colonialism-inspired media narratives and the lyrics of a popular Christmas song by Band Aid, he was sure people in Africa were waiting for people just like him to come and help end their despair by doing something about their poverty. However, since he first visited Ghana 20+ years ago up to now, he’s become much more of an expert in the ‘do’s and don’ts of doing good’ as a volunteer than an expert in how to solve poverty in Ghana, let alone in Africa. Today, as Volunteer Centre Manager at London School of Economics, as a blogger, and as a passionate advocate for ethical voluntourism, Dave uses his personal and professional platforms to push back against narratives all too pervasive in popular culture and sadly, in the development space, that depict Africans and other POC from "developing nations" as kind of hapless victims. He also uses his platforms to advocate for an end to orphanage volunteering and to unpack for himself and others what it means to do good in a way that actually does good with honesty, humility, and sometimes humor. After reflecting on his journey, I realized that I saw too much of my own story reflected in his story for me to call this episode anything that might even seem to suggest that the biggest takeaways from our conversation were specific just to white men or white people or to people who work or serve internationally. There are some “do's" and "don’ts” we, as people who want to change the world, all want to avoid- regardless of the geographic context in which we volunteer and/or just engage with other human beings who may have a different background or socioeconomic status from us. That’s what this episode is about. Links for Reference Band Aid: Stop the stereotypes -https://davecoles.blog/2014/11/19/band-aid-stop-the-stereotypes/ Sidekick Manifesto - https://sidekickmanifesto.org/ “Do They Know It’s Christmas Time?” with lyrics - https://youtu.be/DS7bn_gm9o0?si=Y4QSOm_rLpb75kYp As always, I invite you to drop me a line on IG @missjanaiashley, find me on LinkedIN, or send me an email at janai@gilmorefacilitationllc.com to share whatever reflections this episode brings up for you.
Six months into my sabbatical year in Ghana, I've met new people, seen new sights, and had LOTS of new experiences, like getting malaria, going to a leprosarium (as in, a place where doctors treat leprosy) to see a dermatologist, and swimming in the ocean, etc. I've approached many of these new encounters with preconceived ideas about what they must be like. Yet, over these months I've found that I've had to keep letting go of my preconceived ideas, the things I thought I knew, to keep up with what I've been learning in real time through actual experience. As you listen to episode 19, "What I Thought I Knew", I invite you to reflect alongside me! How has your experience talking to a new person going into a new place or encountering a new situation led you to rethink something you thought you knew in the past few months? Feel free to drop me a line on IG @missjanaiashley, on Linkedin, or you can email me at janai@gilmorefacilitationllc.com. Don't forget to rate, subscribe, and share, if you're enjoying the podcast ;)
"Every time I look around, I see something that can be done. And it just really excites me that Ghana is so ripe for not only business, but investments, collaboration with with local people." - Kindra Parker, Entrepreneur and Founder/President of MentorHer Ghana. Episode 18 features my fourth interview in the series "I Want to Change the World...So I Moved to Africa?!". My guest, Kindra Parker is a true "Renaissance woman"! Her personal and professional background has been shaped by her passion for music, philanthropy, marketing, event production, and entrepreneurship. As I talked to her I started to see how she channels her wealth of skills, experience, and passion to see and create opportunity both at home in the US, in Ghana, and across the African continent. In fact, the thing that strikes me most about Kindra is her ability to see opportunity around her - in people and in places and also in herself. Listening to her story kind of felt like an invitation for me to think about how my own ability to see opportunity is sometimes limited by my fears, doubts, scarcity thinking, and biases. The second thing that really stands out to me as I think about my conversation with Kindra is her willingness to move towards the opportunities that she sees. Her story reminds me that it takes ideas, vision AND action to make changes around us - however big or small. As someone who can lean towards abstraction and intellectualizing, I appreciate her willingness and ability to bring visions to life (a quality that she shares with the other guests I've interviewed - see Ep 13, 14, & 16). Last but not least, the third thing that really stands out to me from my conversation with Kindra is that while yes, I heard her talk about the opportunities that she sees in Ghana and in Africa broadly, one thing I never heard her do was to discount the idea that there can be opportunities at home. I sometimes speak with other diasporanas in Ghana who talk about their homelands as if they were a lost cause. I also have the chance to speak with Ghanaians who live abroad or others who wish to live abroad who talk about Ghana as if it were a lost cause. In both cases, they can only see opportunity elsewhere. As you listen to episode 18, I invite you to reflect alongside me on the following prompts: Is seeing opportunity really about the place where you are as much as it's about the mindset with which you approach it? What's the opportunity for you or for me to support the vitality and flourishing of the people or the community around us right now? What if it's not a coincidence that you've been planted where you are right now -whether you chose to be there intentionally, or you just happen to be born there? What if that's exactly the place or a place where you can contribute the unique gifts and skills and perspective that only you have to offer? Want to learn more about Kindra and MentorHer Ghana? Learn more about MentorHer Ghana at www.MentorHerGhana.org See her All Things Behind the Scenes Podcast interview on YouTube Follow her on IG @motowngirlkp As always, I invite you to drop me a line on IG @missjanaiashley, find me on LinkedIN, or send me an email at janai@gilmorefacilitationllc.com to share whatever reflections this episode brings up for you.
It’s now been 4 months since I moved to Ghana for a sabbatical of sorts. But, to be honest, up until a few days ago when my work contract with the organization that I had been working for in the States ended, I’d spent a lot of my time being physically in Ghana but mentally thousands of miles away. I’d often be on my computer during the day doing my contract work (alongside personal projects) or, even when I wasn't actually working, I'd be thinking about work that I needed to do or that I wanted to get done by certain deadlines. But I feel like now in a sense, the one foot that I continued to have firmly planted in the door of my life back home is now officially out of the door. And now, a question that ask myself is whether I want to dive into my experience here with both feet or whether I want to continue operating in the little US outpost that I’ve essentially created here in the village of Ankwanda. Have I tried to learn the local language? No. Have I made friends? Well, not really. Have I been lonely? Well, no, because I still feel pretty connected to the friends that I already had when I got here. And I’ve been too busy to feel as isolated as I may actually be! But now I have a lot more free time. And twice lately, people I know and care about have called me out on the language thing. And if these guys, the very ones who look out for me here, are bringing it up, it’s time for me to seriously think about how I'm showing up here. Because even though they specifically mentioned language, I think really what they were saying was, “Janai, you're not making an effort to connect with our culture. You're not really trying to connect with us.” That hits because I do understand how learning a language can open insights into a culture and into the full color of people’s personality that you just can't get otherwise. But to learn another language means allowing myself to be a beginner. Leaving the familiarity of my own language to learn a different one means sounding like a beginner. And that means being vulnerable, making mistakes, and feeling and being awkward sometimes. It feels new and intimidating and fascinating to be a beginner with Twi in the same way that it feels to be a beginner on this journey of learning about myself outside of the work and life context that had become so familiar to me. As you listen to episode 17, “I’m a Beginner” of I Want to Change the World on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, I invite you to reflect on the following prompts: In what areas of your life, if any, are you feeling like a beginner? What that experience is bringing up for you? If you're not feeling like you're a beginner in any area of your life right now, where might you be sensing a nudge to start that journey and to become a beginner again?
At the end of episode 16, "Black. American. In Africa.", I said that I'd be sharing a bonus episode with a few more more gems that came out of my interview with Noelle Ojo, author of The Blaxit Effect: The African-American's Guide to Relocating to Africa and US Foreign Service Officer. This snippet, which was just too good for me not to repurpose, is about how reading fiction from a culture can be a way to gain insight and feel a sense of connection to it's culture. See below for the reading list that Noelle drafted for anyone interested in checking out some contemporary African authors. She even included links to where you can find the books on Amazon! I also recommend seeing if you can find the books on a library app like Libby or Hoopla OR to purchase from an indie bookshop in your town or via bookshop.org. Wife of the Gods by Kwei Quartey (1st in a series)https://www.amazon.com/Wife-Gods-Novel-Dawson-Mystery-ebook/dp/B002GPGZ1K/ref=sr_1_8?crid=2E0JRL5G13RSX&keywords=kwei+quartey+books&qid=1684847285&sprefix=quartey%2Caps%2C129&sr=8-8 Dele Weds Destiny by Tomi Obarohttps://www.amazon.com/Dele-Weds-Destiny-Tomi-Obaro-ebook/dp/B09HGNJZYV/ref=sr_1_1?crid=H33E2L0CZSUY&keywords=dele+weds+destiny&qid=1684847380&sprefix=dele+w%2Caps%2C114&sr=8-1 Jollof Rice and Other Revolutions by Omolola Ijeoma Ogunyemihttps://www.amazon.com/s?k=jollof+rice+and+other+revolutions&crid=YWYRHDY6J8QQ&sprefix=jollof+%2Caps%2C90&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_1_7 Walking on Cowrie Shells by Nana Nkweti https://www.amazon.com/Walking-Cowrie-Shells-Nana-Nkweti-ebook/dp/B093YTHRVY/ref=sr_1_1?hvadid=557602311098&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=9007812&hvnetw=g&hvqmt=e&hvrand=13368264572149349115&hvtargid=kwd-1284568049491&hydadcr=6809_13185521&keywords=walking+on+cowrie+shells&qid=1684847614&sr=8-1 The Girl with the Louding Voice by Abi Darehttps://www.amazon.com/s?k=the+girl+with+the+louding+voice&crid=7HELO53P4IUM&sprefix=the+girl+with+the+lou%2Caps%2C92&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_1_21 Behold the Dreamers by Imbolo Mbuehttps://www.amazon.com/Behold-Dreamers-Oprahs-Book-Club-ebook/dp/B0138OAB80/ref=sr_1_1?crid=65ZA0XCB4W2X&keywords=behold+the+dreamers&qid=1684848039&sprefix=behold+the+dreamers%2Caps%2C90&sr=8-1 Want to learn more about Noelle and her book? Check out the book if you or someone you know has ever thought about moving to Africa (daydreaming counts!) here: https://www.theblaxiteffect.com/doyouwanttomovetoafricanow. See her IG Live with Expats Chats to hear her talk in more detail about the book and the nuts and bolts of moving to Africa here: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CgaAUFJIrD-/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng== Connect on IG at @famuojo
“I think sometimes it's just as a society, they try to box us in, especially in the United States, you can only be you have to be this to be black. And when you start to expand your world, especially amongst black people, then you don't buy into that as much.” – Noelle Ojo, author of The Blaxit Effect: The African-American’s Guide to Relocating to Africa (2022) and Foreign Service Officer with USAID. Episode 16 features my third interview in my series called “I Want to Change the World…So I moved to Africa?!”. I had the pleasure of interviewing Noelle Ojo, author of The Blaxit Effect: The African-American’s Guide to Relocating to Africa (2022) and Foreign Service Officer with USAID. Given her background as a Brooklyn native, FAMU grad, and "professional expat" who has lived in 5 African countries and spent nearly 20 years working overseas at an NGO, private sector, and as a Foreign Service Officer, I knew our conversation was going to be juicy. But what I didn't know and couldn't have known is that our conversation would turn into such a beautiful meditation on what it means to be Black American in Africa, but also Black and American, both in Africa, and at home. It's not something I stop and consciously think about every day, but both of those things - being black and being American - shape my lens how I view and show up in the world in very powerful ways. And my being both of those things shapes how I’m viewed and responded to as I move through the world in equally powerful ways. As you tune into this amazing conversation, whether or not you’re Black and/or American, I invite you to reflect alongside me on what forms your sense of belonging, of identity, of community. What shapes how you’re seeing and being seen – and how do you want to show up in relation to each of those ‘hows’? Want to learn more about Noelle and her book? Check out the book if you or someone you know has ever thought about moving to Africa (daydreaming counts!) here: https://www.theblaxiteffect.com/doyouwanttomovetoafricanow. See her IG Live with Expats Chats to hear her talk in more detail about the book and the nuts and bolts of moving to Africa here: https://www.instagram.com/tv/CgaAUFJIrD-/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng== Connect on IG at @famuojo Also, stay tuned for a bonus mini-episode with Noelle next week! During our conversation she talked a little bit about connecting to culture through literature and through language. She spoke with such eloquence and also such insight that I decided to capture that content and release it as a bonus. I’ll drop the bonus next week. As always, I invite you to drop me a line on IG @missjanaiashley or send me an email at janai@gilmorefacilitationllc.com to share whatever reflections this episode brings up for you.
Given that I've now officially been in Ghana for two whole months AND I just applied for my one year residency permit a few days ago, it seems like a good time to pause and reflect on what my major takeaways from my time here have been, so far. What reflections come up for you as you listened to mine? As always, I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to drop me a line on IG @missjanaiashley or via email at janai@gilmorefacilitationllc.com.
“For me, I the way I view the bakery is really important. I view it as like a tool, or a step, which the people use. I picture the bakery as being like one rung on a ladder for them. Whereas I think a savior mentality is more of like, I personally am the ladder. And I think if you keep in mind that your what you're doing is just kind of one step for them, it kind of it both relieves the pressure to fix someone's situation, but it also kind of eliminates this dependency that charities are creating.” – Casey Kempton, Founder of Milk and Honey Bakery in Jos Nigeria Episode 14 is the second in my series called “I Want to Change the World…So I Moved to Africa?!”. As you can tell from the episode title, my guest Casey Kempton takes us all to school in her interview on what not to do if you, as a foreign worker in Africa, want to avoid a trap that she believes most white people in the field of humanitarian work have probably fallen into at times, whether in small or big ways: white savior mentality. After 5 years living and working in the the charity/missionary/NGO space in Nigeria - and prior that even more years spent moving in that space through various mission trips- Casey, who is one of the most introspective, self-aware, and candid people I've ever met, certainly has the creds to teach us all a few things about how to show up in ways that affirm the agency, dignity, and humanity of people to whom we might be in a position to offer help whether we're in Africa or anywhere else. Although the title says “ How to Not Be a ‘White Savior’”, I think of it more broadly as "How to Not Be a 'Western Savior'” because I find on my own journey that I bring a Western gaze and sensibility with me wherever I go. When I look around here in Ghana, I see people who look like me and who look like my cousins. I know the only difference between us is that my ancestors wound up on the [slave] ship going across the ocean, and theirs didn't. Yet, because of where I'm from, how I grew up, and where I grew up, sometimes I can find myself projecting expectations onto them that just don't fit. So even though I'm not a white girl from Grosse Pointe like Casey, per se, as I listen to her story- the story that led her to Nigeria, and of how she's navigating life now that she's there, I can see myself in the story. I invite you to see yourself in it as well. As always, I invite you to drop me a line on IG @missjanaiashley or send me an email at janai@gilmorefacilitationllc.com to share whatever reflections this episode brings up for you. Want to learn more about Casey's work with Milk and Honey? Check out https://givebutter.com/milkandhoney for Casey's contact information, to read about the school, and/or to support with a donation.
“I have no concept of privilege shame. It’s that I’m blessed. I recognize that I am blessed, and I am blessed for a purpose. And that purpose is to be a blessing to other people. So, my life, if I think about it, is framed by this. [When] I go to Ghana, and I see the poverty around me in my village, I ask myself, “How can I be a blessing in this?” - Eunice Cox, Owner of The Beach House, Ankwanda It’s hard to believe that it’s been over a month since I arrived in Ghana! Where has the time gone? Every day as I look at the calendar, I’m reminded that I need to start wrangling my paperwork to extend my stay. There’s no doubt in my mind that I want to stay beyond June. I’m learning here. I’m growing here. I’m so very glad that I came. That doesn’t mean that I’ve grown oblivious to the things that I mentioned in last episode – the poverty, inequality, and all that seems broken and unjust that I see when I look around in Ghana. It means that I’ve seen that that’s not the WHOLE story of the Ankwanda, the village where I’m staying, or of Ghana, or of Africa. I see beauty and resilience in the people here just living their lives. And I know there are people here doing incredible work to create opportunity, improve people’s quality of life, and build a brighter future for the next generation. In season three, which is dedicated to the topic, “I Want to Change the World…So I Moved to Africa?!”, I’ll be talking to some of the people who’ve moved/moved back to Ghana, who are cherishing the good and beautiful here, even as they navigate challenges to chase their dreams here. I’m excited to be kickstarting the season by interviewing my friend Eunice Cox, owner of The Beach House, Ankwanda, and overall force to be reckoned with. Tune into episode# 13, “Blessed to Be a Blessing” for a truly rich conversation with Eunice about the journey that led her back to Ghana after years of living in the UK and Canada, and the mind [and heart] set that keeps her hopeful and inspired about the future of her business, her village, and her country. Note: I need your help! As I navigate my own journey, I would love to talk to more people who’ve chased their dreams to Ghana (or Africa, broadly) and are here making a difference in their own way. Know someone should talk to? Please let me know! You can reach me at janai@gilmorefacilitationllc.com or on IG @missjanaiashley.
I made it to Ghana! I woke up this morning (March 7, 2023) amazed and in awe to find myself here. In this episode, I share some reflections on the journey that's led me here. I invite you to think about an idea that's been knocking at the door to your heart asking you to partner with it so it can, in the words of Elizabeth Gilbert in Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, "be escorted out of the ether and into the realm of the actual." I know from personal experience that it's a journey. As a coach, I apply the tools that have helped me navigate the internal obstacles that for so long held me back from partnering with the ideas calling to me to now support my clients as they navigate their obstacles to make their ideas reality. Let's talk about how I can support you! Email me at janai@gilmorefacilitationllc.com or find me on IG @missjanaiashley.
Inner transformation work is outer transformation work. Personal development is professional development. Those statements are as true whether you spend your days making widgets or organizing political initiatives around climate change. I started off my career wanting to change the world, but showing up in my work and in my life often paralyzed by perfectionism and anxiety. And I learned through personal experience that even when you leave your job and move across the ocean to escape the forces you feel are holding you back from being at your best, most creative, most innovative and productive self, you end up bringing those forces along with you! As people who want to create a better world, we want to skip to the part where our organizations or groups are getting small business owners access to capital, we’re closing the racial wealth gap, we’re building coalitions to shift policy, we’re raising test scores in Detroit Public Community District, where we’re getting folks to the polls, etc. But our organizations or groups are made up of people. How are we, the people? What are we carrying inside of us that we bring into the work and model in the world? What does it look like for us to flourish? Are we showing up ready to dream big? Are we able to offer a supportive, non-shaming space for ourselves? And for others? Is the volume turned up so high on our anxiety that we can’t hear ways in which we’re uniquely equipped to support others? As we close out season 2, I invite you to reflect on the following: What does it look like for you to flourish? Are you showing up ready to dream big? If not, what’s holding you back? f you want to chime in on the discussion, the “I Want to Change the World Podcast Community” on Facebook is the perfect place to do so! You can also email me at janai@gilmorefacilitationllc.com or drop me a line @missjanaiashley on IG. Don't forget to rate, subscribe, and share, if you're enjoying the podcast ;)
The theme of this season of my life must be "chasing dreams". I'm podcasting. I'm training to be a coach. I'm preparing to leave the organization I love and where I've spent my career, to date, to rest for a while and then dive into building my business. And in less than a month, I'm heading to Ghana to stay for at least 3 months, but perhaps much longer. All of this is amazing to me. For years I was stuck, held back from moving towards some of my biggest goals by fear - fear of failure, fear of my inner critic, fear of what if, etc.- and now here I am preparing to leave the places and people I know for a while to chase a dream. Where did the fear go? Just a year ago my dreams seemed hopelessly out of reach, on the other side of fear and self-doubt. I was stuck. The fear hasn't disappeared. I'm moving towards my goals now, but it's not because I dropped fear or self-doubt; I've just changed my relationship to them. Before, I used to go through great lengths to avoid needing to confront fear, self-doubt, disappointment, and other "negative" emotions. To be honest, I tried to avoid these feelings by not having goals that seemed too big of a stretch. I buried my dreams. I tried to send them to the idea graveyard. I tried to rationalize myself out of my desires. How many of us who want to change the world are doing this at the individual, organizational, and societal scale? What does it look like for each of us to start owning our power to change our relationship to our fears, self-doubt, and anything else that limits our imaginations and keeps us from dreaming big - first as individuals and then, as a collective? This week, I invite you to reflect on these prompts: What, if any of your rooms, with icky thoughts and feelings, have you been hesitant to go spend time in? Why is that? Can you think of an emotion that you want to change your relationship to? What does it look like for you to own your power in the week ahead? If you want to chime in on the discussion, the “I Want to Change the World Podcast Community” on Facebook is the perfect place to do so! You can also email me at janai@gilmorefacilitationllc.com or drop me a line @missjanaiashley on IG. Don't forget to rate, subscribe, and share, if you're enjoying the podcast ;)
For many of my 35 years, I built up the skills and practices of eating my feelings, stuffing down my feelings, lashing out my feelings, scrolling or swiping my feelings, escaping my feelings with my imagination, or busying away my feelings. The idea of feeling my feelings is a relatively new skill that I’ve been learning and practicing over the past year or so. Honestly, I think learning to feel has opened me up more to life, to a broader, deeper, richer, and maybe more fully human experience. But I’m a beginner. And I have much more experience and familiarity with not feeling feelings. And sometimes it’s not easy, fun, or light to feel feelings. The thing is, though, since I’ve been learning how to feel- how to consciously allow my emotions to be there without trying to escape them, stuff them down, or react to them by lashing out- I’ve learned that the negative emotions I experience actually have a lot to teach me about who I am, how I am, and how I’m thinking. Our feelings are worth getting to know because they dictate how we show up or whether we show up at all in the work of changing the world. They also dictate how we experience our one precious life! For this week's reflection, I invite you to notice a feeling that you’re having each morning this week. Name the feeling. “I notice I’m feeling…” What are some ways that you engage or disengage with your feelings instead of feeling them? What feelings do you want to dictate how you show up in the work of changing the world? And in your life this week? If you want to chime in on the discussion, the “I Want to Change the World Podcast Community” on Facebook is the perfect place to do so! You can also email me at janai@gilmorefacilitationllc.com or drop me a line @missjanaiashley on IG. Don't forget to rate, subscribe, and share, if you're enjoying the podcast ;)
Hello from San Juan! This episode may feel like a wild, unpredictable ride! I'm in Puerto Rico for Rachel Rodgers' "ROI: the Millionaire’s Summit" and it's inspired me with quite a few thoughts about my thoughts about being here! In this episode, I talk about how learning to question my thoughts has played a critical role in helping me continuously unpack the internal obstacles that keep me from getting to "dreamspace" - a place where I'm taking the actions I want to take and being how I want to be in any given situation. The skill and practice of questioning my own thoughts are part of my ongoing inside out change journey. And what about you? What does your inside out change journey look like? Do you have a practice of questioning your thoughts- especially the ones that you find unhelpful and maybe even hurtful? If so, what does that practice look like? I invite you to try the pre-meeting or beginning of the meeting exercise that I mention in the episode. How, if at all, did the exercise impact your experience? If you want to chime in on the discussion, the “I Want to Change the World Podcast Community” on Facebook is the perfect place to do so! You can also email me at janai@gilmorefacilitationllc.com or drop me a line @missjanaiashley on IG. Don't forget to rate, subscribe, and share, if you're enjoying the podcast ;) Tune in on:
When I started at my first “real” (read: salaried with benefits) job in the community development field, I just knew I’d made it! I was going to get paid to do what I’d always wanted to do – make Detroit a better place for people like my neighbors and myself. To my 24 (ish) year old mind, I was living my happily ever after. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I’d carried certain beliefs about myself, my community, “the way things are”, the impact of my work, and much more to the work. As I was mentored and trained up in the work, I also absorbed other beliefs about leadership, the community, “the way things are”, and my place in the scheme of things. For the most part, I’m sure I didn’t speak these beliefs out loud. I didn’t question them. I simply embodied them. (And maybe it is or isn’t a coincidence that I, like many people, had it ingrained in me from my earliest years that the path to the reward lies in obeying and following along, not questioning.) However, over time, other people’s questions and prodding, my own observations and my feelings about them, started to shake my certainty about my happily ever after and about my beliefs about myself and about the work I was doing. I started asking questions, critical questions about “the way things are” and about my beliefs. This was tough because I like certainty. Like most human beings, I like the stability and comfort of holding onto my beliefs (even the ones that don’t serve me, even my biases). Questioning them or letting them go can sometimes be an uncomfortable- and even messy- process. And yet, that process is the key to growing in my ability to show up in the world in ways that model and manifest a more just, humane, and loving world at the smallest scale of impact (me, the individual) so it can be modeled and manifested at the largest scale (us, the collective). That’s why I appreciate conversations with my friend/fellow coach and facilitator Petra Vega, the Liberatory Leadership coach at Create More Possibilities! Over the course of our interview in episode #6, “Wait! The Matrix Is in Me?!”, Petra invites us all to take the red pill and follow the white rabbit as she shares her insights on how we, as aspiring world changers, can start to recognize and go about unpacking the internalized -isms or “unspoken agreements” that we carry in us. The conversation is RICH. You might want to listen in small doses. Also, you can read the full transcript on Petra’s blog. If you want to connect with Petra, you can find her at: @createmorepossiblities on IG, Create More Possibilities on LinkedIN email her at Petra@createmorepossibilities.com visit her website at www.createmorepossibilities.com. To connect with me or if you want to chime in on the discussion, the “I Want to Change the World Podcast Community” on Facebook is the perfect place to do so! You can also email me at janai@gilmorefacilitationllc.com or drop me a line @missjanaiashley on IG.
On Wednesday, I’m going to a funeral for someone who was very dear to me. Mrs. Sophia Ellis was my high school German teacher at Martin Luther King Jr. Senior High School in Detroit. Over the 22 years that I knew her, I had the chance to witness her being herself, loving herself, giving herself permission to show up and be seen. As I grew up, I started to take in how radical it was for her to choose to love herself, to be seen, and have unconditional self-worth when in every way imaginable that cut against the grain. She was born in 1927, a dark-skinned Black woman from a poor family from 8 Mile Road. Her willingness to show up in spite of all the explicit and implicit ways that she was surely told all of her life to be small, be quiet, be insignificant, be a stereotype, be humble, be normal required her to tell herself "YES" in a world that was set up to offer her a "NO". Her "YES" made it possible for her to touch the minds and lives of students in Detroit Public Schools for over 50 years - including this one. It made it possible for her to impact Detroit students through the Sophia Holley Ellis Scholarship that she set up at her beloved alma mater, the University of Michigan. And so much more. Where did the "YES" come from? Maybe it was in part her stubbornness. Ha! But I believe her love, and show up, and contribute in her own unique way to changing the world, was anchored in her ability and willingness to love herself. Thinking about Mrs. Ellis’ life brings to mind a question that came to mind when I was thinking about this iteration of season 2: “How you gon’ love the world, when you can’t love yourself?”. But now I’m thinking about it in the reverse: How much more can you love the world, can you contribute to the world, when you love yourself? As you listen to season 2, episode 1, I invite you to reflect on the following: What is your relationship with yourself like? How would you describe it? What does the soundtrack that plays in your head sound like? What, if anything, do you think is standing in the way of you offering what you want to offer the world or showing up how you want to show up? If you want to chime in on the discussion, the “I Want to Change the World Podcast Community” on Facebook is the perfect place to do so! You can also email me at janai@gilmorefacilitationllc.com or drop me a line @missjanaiashley on IG. *Note: to see the pictures I embedded in my blog post, visit https://www.gilmorefacilitationllc.com/post/how-you-gon-love-the-world
“How we are at the small scale is how we are at the large scale.” “What we practice at a small scale can reverberate to the largest scale.” - Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds by adrienne maree brown (p.52) As I talk about in the very first episode of the podcast, I started off my journey as an aspiring world changer actually just wanting to solve the problems that I’d seen in my community and my overcrowded high school as a student in Detroit. Driven at least as much by a desire to stick it to society for what I perceived to be its low expectations for me and people like me as by a desire to make my hometown a better place for my neighbors and myself, I wanted to be an academic and work in government. I wanted to figure out the answers to the problems that I’d seen around me. I wanted to study, become an expert, and then deliver solutions for the issues that mattered most to me. Today, many years later, my ideas about my role in changing the world are very different. As a facilitator (both in the context of my work as a nonprofit professional and in my personal practice), it’s mostly my job to ask questions, not have answers. I have the extraordinary privilege of helping groups of people who are all committed to creating a more humane, equitable world in their own way, work together to achieve big goals. It’s exciting work, but let me tell you: collaboration is not an easy thing. Even among well-intentioned people who genuinely have a desire to do good, impactful work in the world. Why is that? Well, from my experience, when we, as well-intentioned, aspiring world changers come to the collective table to try to address the stuff “out there”, we bring along all the stuff we carry inside of us that perpetuates the status quo. We show up to the task of tackling huge, complex issues (e.g., advancing racial justice or creating a more equitable economy) with our talents and highest ideals and desire for change just as much as we show up with our scarcity thinking, personal insecurities and ego wounds, internalized -isms, fear of conflict, and...fill in the blank. In other words, we show up as human beings. Beautiful yet imperfect human beings. As you listen to episode# 4, “Change: From the Inside Out”, I invite you to reflect on what it looks like, or could look like, for you to deal with any internal stuff that you might currently be bringing to a collective table (e.g., an organization, a committee, your family, etc.). Also, zooming out: How do we spend less time shaming and blaming ourselves and others when we sometimes show up in ways that aren’t perfectly aligned with our values? How do we have grace for one another as we work to unlearn thoughts that we’ve picked up through socialization that cause us and those around us harm? How do we create environments where people are willing to be vulnerable and dare to look inward? Bonus: Have you read “Winners Take All: The Elite Charade of Changing the World” by Anand Giridharadas? What did you think? If you want to chime in on the discussion, the “I Want to Change the World Podcast Community” on Facebookis the perfect place to do so! You can also email me at janai@gilmorefacilitationllc.com or drop me a line @missjanaiashley on IG.
It might surprise you to learn that I was inspired to record this episode because of experiences that I had earlier this year when I traveled to Ghana for vacation (Note: Join the "I Want to Change the World Podcast Community" to see pics and posts from my Ghana trip). I felt privileged to be able to make the trip. At home I certainly don't feel rich. I'"normal" middle-class American. However, being able to afford such luxuries as airfare to Ghana, vaccinations and medications from the travel clinic, visa fees, etc. put into perspective that I'm pretty well off - both by global standards and American standards, too, considering how many of us don't have access to affordable housing, child care, or medication, let alone disposable income to spend on travel expenses. Even when I'm not traveling, I live comfortably enough at home. I pay my bills on time. I live in a cozy apartment in a gentrified area of town. The market a short distance from me has a charcuterie section. In more than one way, I'm kind of a beneficiary of the broken systems that we, as aspiring world changers, must shift to create a more humane and just world. And yet, with all of my relative privilege, I found that in Ghana, just as I've found at home and elsewhere abroad, there are people who have a struggle narrative ready for me. Have I had any encounters with the police? Do people (read: black people) still experience discrimination at work? Have I seen 'Just Mercy'? Why don't Black Americans...? Le sigh. What if, as long as race/racism is framed in popular imagination as, to quote Toni Morrison from her BRILLIANT essay, "A Race in Mind: The Press in Deed", "the real, the vital, the incendiary story"of social and economic exclusion, we are overlooking or under-looking the real lines of social conflict and inequality? As you listen to episode# 3, "It Don't Always Be Racism", I invite you to reflect on ways in which you tend to essentialize race in your thinking about complex social issues. If poverty and economic and social marginalization aren't exclusively"black and brown people's problems", whose problems are they? What, if any, role do you see for yourself in doing something about those problems? If you want to chime in on the discussion, the “I Want to Change the World Podcast Community” on Facebook is the perfect place to do so! You can also email me at janai@gilmorefacilitationllc.com or drop me a line @missjanaiashley on IG.
We live in a “you’re _, therefore you’re supposed to be like _ ”- kind of world. We don’t get to pick the stereotypes or expectations that come along with showing up in the world as ourselves. I show up in the world as myself (i.e., black and from the east side of Detroit, and also “articulate”, intellectually curious, well-traveled, etc.) and sometimes that surprises people. Sometimes that surprise is expressed in the form of a question: “How did you make it?”. I used to take offense at the question, but now, as I state in episode 2, “when someone is curious because something or someone doesn’t line up with their expectations and they do ask a question or express an ill-informed opinion, I don’t want to be the person who dismisses them or shames them.” You know why? Because I’ve been the person asking the question or holding the ill-informed opinion. Let’s be real: sometimes I’m still that person. I invite you to stop acting like we haven’t all been that person. And as you listen to episode #2, “How Did You Make It?”, I invite you to reflect on how what you heard in this episode speaks to YOUR experience. Have you ever been the person directing an ill-informed question at someone? Have you ever been the person receiving the question? What might it look like for you to meet yourself and others in your bias or ignorance with understanding, and a willingness to learn or maybe even teach? If you want to chime in on the discussion, the “I Want to Change the World Podcast Community” on Facebook is the perfect place to do so! You can also email me at janai@gilmorefacilitationllc.com or drop me a line @missjanaiashley on IG.
Welcome to episode 1! When I asked myself where do I begin, my mind went to Detroit. I’m from Detroit. And that’s where the fire in my belly for challenging injustice started. In this episode I share (at least part of) the story of how my eyes were opened to the reality of inequality and where my desire to make a difference in the world. I also ask you to reflect on where YOUR desire to create a better world came from. I'd love to hear what your reflection brings up for you! You can drop me a line at janai@gilmorefacilitationllc.com or @missjanaiashley on Instagram :)