They are two diametrically opposed relationships. One is healthy, supportive and thriving. The other has been nothing but back-and-forth drama for 43 years. Rejoicing or regret--what's it going to be? You don't just need a soulmate, you need a powerful soulmate.
In the 60's TV show, Lost In Space, the robot was the voice that warned the young Will Robinson when danger was imminent. When it comes to relationships we need a voice too! But not only is love blind, sometimes it is also deaf. Making excuses for bad behavior, thinking if you give up one choice you will never find another, ignoring red flags and entering into a mismatched alliance. How would I have done things differently? I would have taken the ear plugs out of my ears and listened to the voices.
If you are considering throwing yourself down a flight of stairs so you can postpone your wedding--you might want to, at least temporarily, call it off. If you are unsure about the union, don't tie the knot.
The honeymoon was over after two days--that's when the verbal abuse started. Only a few weeks into the marriage Kevin earned the nickname "Razor Tongue". You do not have to be verbally abused for long before it starts negatively affecting you, thus prompting my dad to ask if I wanted out of the newly formed union. Why? Because Happiness Matters.
Never had I seen an individual so drunk in my life. One minute Kevin threw my puppy down the basement stairs, the next minute he threw me across the kitchen. When he passed out, I was tempted to stuff cough drops down his throat to end the abuse. But somehow I figured Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle would figure it out and I would just trade one jail cell for another.
At only 25 years old, my character was crumbling because of my verbally, emotionally and physically abusive marriage. I stopped focusing on fixing everything else, and decided to upgrade myself. It worked. As I became "more", I attracted "more". Degree earned. Job promotions. And then the attention of a kind, considerate, man. The problem was...we were both already married.
I just wanted the security of a family, but not even his first-born son could entice Kevin to be part of the family unit. That's when someone unsuspecting stepped in to fill the role. God sometimes answers prayers in surprising ways!
When I hurt my back Kevin laughed at my pain--God healed me. When Kevin had an affair with a young woman--God taught me how to walk in meekness. When Kevin walked out and left me with small children--God gave me a prophetic word. When Kevin became sexually abusive--God gave me an open vision of His love for me. My personal favorite episode to date!
The only way I can describe it is a "Holy Ghost Download"! Whether your relationship is glorious, in need of help, a disaster or a combination of all three, The Great Teacher revealed four simple traits that will promote health and longevity. Give a listen, be honest and ask yourself if these four traits are present. Do you have a "Holy Ghost Style Relationship"?
Peter Pan is synonymous with "eternal boy". In a nutshell: he might look like a man on the outside, but inside he is trapped in the psyche of a boy. (This can apply to women also!) Dr. Edwin Louis Cole said, "Irresponsibility, foolishness and insensitivity are blemishes on his character and lead to the conclusion he needs to grow up." Being in a relationship with a Peter Pan is painful and emotionally exhausting. What can you do about it?
There came a point where I knew it was no longer immaturity or untreated mental illness. The abuse escalated to the psychological extreme and control was maintained through threats of suicide. Was it narcissism or was it worse? In this episode, find out how to stop the cycle before "their crazy" becomes "your crazy".