In Bed with Koaty & Sumner

This week, we’re in bed with the one and only Dr. Chris Donaghue—sex therapist, author, and queer truth-teller behind the book Rebel Love. We dive deep into the messy beauty of queer intimacy, ethical sex, and rewriting every outdated rule we’ve been told about love and relationships.From emotional differentiation to kinky exploration, Dr. Chris helps us unpack how shame-free pleasure and radical honesty can actually heal our relationships. We also get personal about sex work, queer partnership, and what it means to reclaim love outside the heteronormative script. Oh—and we may have gotten a little too honest. But hey, that’s the point, right?💬 Let us know what part cracked you open the most.📚 Grab Rebel Love here: https://www.amazon.com/Rebel-Love-Break-Free-Relationships/dp/0593443025Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.

We’re joined by therapist and author Tom Bruett, whose book The Go-To Relationship Guide for Gay Men has genuinely impacted our relationship. In this honest and vulnerable conversation, we dive deep into the two stages that rocked us the most: Differentiation and Exploration.We talk about what it really means to stay emotionally connected while becoming your own person, how to ask for what you want in bed (without shame), and why open relationships often bring up the deepest communication work. Tom shares what it was like writing his most personal chapter, and we open up about how the book has helped us become better partners.💬 Learning to set boundaries without shutting down🧠 The power of sex-positive, vulnerable conversations❤️ Why differentiation can feel scary—but lead to deeper loveAnd of course, we close it out with a classic Koaty and Sumner game: Red Flag or Growth Lag? We throw out spicy relationship scenarios, and Tom tells us whether it’s a dealbreaker—or just a couple stuck in one of the book’s core stages.This episode is heartfelt, hilarious, and deeply helpful for anyone in a queer relationship (or hoping to be in one).Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.

In this vulnerable and validating episode, Koaty shares the emotional journey behind cutting off his father—and the years of narcissistic behavior, gaslighting, and betrayal that led up to it. We explore how hard it can be to draw boundaries with a parent, especially when manipulation is masked as love. From financial deception to emotional abuse, we break down the signs of a narcissistic parent, why it’s okay to walk away, and how chosen family can sometimes be the safest family. And of course, it wouldn’t be us without a little fun—Sumner closes the episode with a spicy quiz to find out once and for all: does Koaty have daddy issues? This episode is part healing, part chaos, and 100% real.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.

From church pews to OnlyFans views. In this episode, Sumner opens up about growing up Mormon—from blessing sacrament trays as a teenager to being interrogated by bishops about masturbation (yep, really). Koaty plays Mormon Mythbusters and finds out just how weird—and wildly repressive—Sumner’s childhood really was.We get into sex shame, secret Mormon wife culture, sacred underwear, and how leaving the Church helped Sumner finally reclaim his sexuality.If you’ve ever grown up in purity culture, questioned religion, or just love messy spiritual trauma with a gay twist… this one’s for you.👼 Trauma dump meets temple tea. Tap in.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.

"Hey!!! We just got back from Puerto Vallarta, where we were nominated for three awards at the very first International Content Creator Awards (aka the ICCAs)… and we took home Best Podcast! 🏆 In this episode, we’re sharing all the highlights: from the content house vibes to the red carpet feels, and what it meant to be surrounded by so many creators in one space.We also open up about the mental side of it all — the pressure to compare, the way looks can mess with your self-worth, and how we’re learning to keep it real with ourselves even in the middle of all the glam. Spoiler: we still had an amazing time and looked damn good doing it. Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.

Skinny jeans are out. Baggy cargos are in. Harnesses? Always timeless. In this episode, Sumner & Koaty Blayne dive headfirst into the messy, sexy, and sometimes downright busted world of gay men’s fashion. From growing up in skin-tight clubwear to navigating the oversized streetwear takeover, they spill all the tea.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.

In this episode, Koaty and Sumner Blayne open up about their full journey through circuit party culture—from wild weekends, outfit changes, and hookup chaos to burnout, boundaries, and slowing the hell down.We reflect on how the circuit brought us together, tested our relationship, boosted our OnlyFans, and eventually wore us out. We’re not anti-party—we’re just pro-evolution.Plus: a chaotic game of “Did We Do That?” featuring afterparty confessions, filming mishaps, and one very suspicious cuddle puddle.If you’ve ever felt sexy, sweaty, overstimulated, and a little sad on the same dance floor—this one’s for you.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.

In this episode, Koaty and Sumner Blayne open up about their evolving relationship with kink, not as experts or full-time fetish freaks, but as a couple learning to be more curious, more communicative, and way less judgmental.We explore how getting older has made us more open to trying things we once avoided, and how shame can sneak into the bedroom even in the most loving relationships. From sploshing and age play to sounding and voyeurism, we talk about what used to freak us out—and what we’re now learning to approach with curiosity instead of fear.Plus: our favorite game “Guess That Kink!”, and by the end, we put Koaty through the ultimate test… just how open-minded is he really?It’s not about being kinky. It’s about being open.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.

In this spicy and thought-provoking episode of In Bed with Koaty and Sumner, we’re diving into the wild world of AI, sexbots, and the future of intimacy. As technology advances, virtual partners and hyper-realistic sex dolls are shaking up relationships—so where do we draw the line?We explore whether AI companions are enhancing or replacing real human connection, debate if having a virtual AI partner counts as cheating, and ask the ultimate question: if your partner had a sexbot that looked exactly like you, would you be flattered or freaked out?Get ready for a futuristic, hilarious, and maybe even slightly unsettling conversation about AI-driven pleasure, emotional bonds with chatbots, and whether AI can really be a personal sex coach. Tune in, because this one is too good to miss!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.

Season 2 of In Bed with Koaty & Sum kicks off with a bang! We’re diving into one of the wildest, most productive weeks Koaty has ever had! For seven days leading up to the GAYVN Awards in Las Vegas, he stayed in a content house with some of the biggest OnlyFans creators—all set up by his agent. His goal? To film 11 collabs. But, of course, things didn’t always go as planned.Sumner, who does do studio porn, is full of questions as he gets all the details about what it was really like—how Koaty scheduled everything, the unexpected challenges, and even the days when he managed to film three scenes in a row. From the chaos of coordinating collabs to the reality of living in a house full of adult creators, we’re breaking it all down.If you’ve ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes of a packed week like this, you won’t want to miss this one. And trust us—there’s plenty more coming soon!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.

In this episode, we dive into the topic of physical intimacy and how it plays a crucial role in our relationship. We open up about how often we need it, the highs and lows of our sex drives, and how we’ve learned to balance and meet each other’s needs. We also get real about the challenges—what happens when one of us feels like it’s not enough or when the dynamic starts to feel one-sided. Join us for an honest and vulnerable conversation about keeping the connection strong and the passion alive.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.

On this episode, the couple dives deep into the art of maximizing your experience as a bottom. From preparation tips and mindset shifts to their favorite techniques for enhancing pleasure, they share honest, uncensored advice based on their own experiences. They also discuss how communication, trust, and self-awareness can elevate your confidence in the bedroom, ensuring every moment feels empowering and satisfying. Whether you’re a seasoned pro or exploring for the first time, Koaty and Sumner provide practical, relatable insights to help you take your bottoming game to the next level.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.

In this episode, Koaty and Sumner dive into the complexities of life as a gay couple in the spotlight. They discuss navigating the highs and lows of being a social media duo, their experiences filming threesomes and exploring studio adult content with SeanCody, and the challenges of balancing personal and professional dynamics. Reflecting on their hardest year together, they open up about mental health struggles and the steps they’ve taken to strengthen their relationship, offering an intimate look at love, resilience, and growth.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.

Hey everyone, it’s Koaty and Sumner, and on this episode, we’re getting real (and a little cheeky) about something that affects way more people than you’d think: erectile dysfunction! We’re diving into ED myths, true-or-false games, and some fun facts that you probably haven’t heard before. Whether you’re curious, concerned, or just here for the laughs, we’ve got you covered with a mix of humor and honesty as we tackle the reality of ED at any age.We discuss everything from the surprising causes of ED (spoiler alert: it’s not just about age!) to ways to keep the spark alive even when things don’t go as planned. You’ll hear our take on physical vs. mental causes of ED, the stigma that still surrounds it, and why a little humor can go a long way in handling those awkward moments. Plus, we’ve got a true-or-false quiz that’ll surprise you with some strange but true ED facts—like whether or not tight underwear or bad sleep habits really make a difference.So grab your partner (or your earbuds!) and join us as we unpack erectile dysfunction in a way that’s open, fun, and totally judgment-free. From how lifestyle changes impact sexual health to the importance of communication and confidence, we’re covering it all right here, in bed, with Koaty and Sumner. Whether you’re just curious or looking for ways to support someone, this episode will have you laughing, learning, and seeing ED in a whole new light. Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share if you enjoyed it!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.

We are beyond excited to share that we’ve officially chosen Villa de Amore as the perfect venue for our wedding! In this video, we’re taking you inside our wedding planning process as a gay couple, sharing all the details about why this venue spoke to us and how we’re organizing every step to create our dream LGBTQ+ wedding. If you’re looking for wedding tips or need help managing wedding stress, this is the video for you! From choosing wedding decor and deciding on non-negotiables for our special day to figuring out how to balance wedding traditions with modern wedding ideas, we’re diving into every aspect of making this day unique. We’ll talk about how we’re preparing for potential surprises, dividing up the tasks, and keeping our vision clear amidst the challenges of wedding organization. Planning a wedding can be stressful, but we’re here to show you how we’ve made it a fun and personal experience that reflects our personalities. Whether you’re planning a destination wedding, looking for wedding inspiration as a couple, or just interested in following our wedding journey, this video will give you all the behind-the-scenes action! Get ready to hear our take on everything from wedding day preparation to crafting personalized wedding details, and balancing the excitement with the occasional wedding stress management. If you’re planning a gay wedding or just love watching wedding vlogs, be sure to tune in! Send us your own unique wedding ideas and suggestions in the comments, and let’s celebrate this exciting chapter together!Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/in-bed-with-koaty-sumner--6317880/support.