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In Search of Life's podcast
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In Search of Life's podcast

Author: Evert Bruyns

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I am a recovering alcoholic. In this show I talk about the confusion and stigma surrounding alcoholism as well all the different things I have learnt over the years that have helped me in life.

My personality is incredibly enthusiastic. I'm the person that no one can believe has suffered from anxiety and depression.

These podcasts are messages to my old self in the view that someone else may be where I used to be, which was a very horrible place. I hope these podcasts can help you in some way or another.

It's not all doom and gloom, I intend to talk about long distance cycling adventures too, of which I've done quite a few now.

Living a sober life is not about prohibition, it's about living a life full of adventure. Understanding what adventure is, is part of the topics.
34 Episodes
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I had the great pleasure of having a very good discussion with Kendrick from KT Teev (www.ktteev.com). We agreed on a bunch of things for example defunding the police is a bad idea as well as denouncing the riots currently happening across the US. We also disagreed about many things.  While we disagreed, I genuinely appreciated the fact that KT made himself available for discourse. I really enjoyed the conversation with KT tremendously and we will be doing a follow up in a few months time, the reason for which becomes clear at the end of the podcast. KT - thank you again for being on my show, I actually feel like we've become friends, this is to the fact that we spoke openly and honestly about how we see things. I wish only for the best for you and your community and I'm looking forward very much to our next round of discourse in the future.
Hi everyone   I had the great pleasure of having Zack and Brandon from "say what needs saying" on my show.   The conversation lasted for over 3 hours, I've split it into a 2 hour episode, at which point Zack had to leave and the second part between Brandon and myself.   The most amazing thing about this conversation is the open mindedness with which we all approached the conversation and our willingness to be honest with each other.   This episode is long, but I feel it's a very special one and I hope you all enjoy it.   I'm also accepting "coffee money" now for my podcasts. If you would like to shout me a coffee in return for hurting your ears, I would genuinely appreciate it.    https://www.buymeacoffee.com/insearchoflife
Hi everyone I had the great pleasure of having Zack and Brandon from "Say what needs saying" on my show. The conversation lasted for over 3 hours, I've split it into a 2 hour episode, at which point Zack had to leave and the second part between Brandon and myself. The most amazing thing about this conversation is the open mindedness with which we all approached the conversation and our willingness to be honest with each other. This episode is long, but I feel it's a very special one and I hope you all enjoy it. I'm also accepting "coffee money" now for my podcasts.  If you would like to shout me a coffee in return for hurting your ears, I would genuinely appreciate it. https://www.buymeacoffee.com/insearchoflife  
I am crazy busy moving to Germany, hence why I missed last week's episode. But this week I am back to taunt your ears. Have you ever thought of starting a business but not quite sure what? This week I interviewed David Essel, he really well known in the Counselling and life coach area.  Apologies, the sound quality on my side wasn't the best, I'm still learning to be better at the sound component :-) David shares a tonne of interesting information around getting sober and all of his personal struggles. David is super honest and upfront about having sold products for many years that he now says simply does not work.  I thought this level of honesty is quite something. Toward the end of the episode I start asking him whether/how I should look to use my podcast as a source of income. Part of my hidden personal agenda with these podcasts were to start earning a living due to the fear of moving to Germany and potentially struggling in the job market there.  I always find more difficult ways of trying to move forward rather than take the simple ones. The more I think about it, the more I think it's best to stick to trying to help just one person who might need to hear about the fact that life is hard.  But that's an episode for another day.   Hope you enjoy this one :-)
So after I did the Satireday Special (embarrassingly) I kinda almost wished there is an actual patriarchy. I mean, I fit into the supposed qualification and wouldn't it be good if there was an older protecter type of brother who just sticks his hand out and says - here you go.   But it's not how life works.  We have to take on as much responsibility as we can bear.  The more we take on (and here's the kicker, responsibility isn't one dimensional) the better the chance of success.  It's a bit like lotto though, just because you have a ticket doesn't mean you'll win.  But the more you take on the better the chance that you'll have success.  Nothing in life is guaranteed.   There will always be SOME corruption in the world, simply because humans aren't perfect, nor is the universe. It's what you do with that, that makes the difference. Anyway, I'm rambling on so much, you don't need to listen to the podcast anymore. I hope you enjoy the episode :-)
This podcast is quite different to usual.  It was actually one I recorded quite a while back, but I've been waiting for the right time to publish it, which is now. Serrah does very interesting work.  She works with police officers in a psychological context, which also includes those who suffer from PTSD. Throughout the interview you might here my eternal optimism, which wants to believe that people can recover from anything. This is not the case.  Some things will alter your life in unalterable ways, and it's not always positive. There are so many indirect links to alcoholism here, I won't mention them all.  But one thing, that I think is a personal takeaway for me, is that if I continue to drink, I can easily lead myself to a place from where I can never recover.  Thank you Serrah for the interview and you utmost honesty!  I loved our interview and I found the information you supplied highly valuable :)
I had the great pleasure of interviewing Kathy Tuccaro.   Kathy has just celebrated 7.5 years sober, now drives the biggest truck in the world, is an author and a motivational speaker. Sadly, she also suffered serious abuse from a very very young age. The thing that struck me the most about Kathy is her incredibly optimistic personality.   She is the kind of person that has come out on the other side of a deeply traumatic situation and is without a doubt thankful for what life is giving her. Her story is a testament to how strong human beings are and what we can overcome and achieve if we are brave enough to face life. Not only that, she is a person of action, she has started a number of practical and positive initiatives, which are clearly helping people in her local community. I read her post https://kathytuccaro.com/2018/07/27/where-it-all-began/.  Kathy mentions, she believes God played a role in saving her life.  Of course none of us know how or why we get these moments of grace in our lives. I think for me personally and this has nothing to do with Kathy's story, but one thing that I have learnt is that even though we are no longer being chased by wild animals, we can still put ourselves at risk in this world which has become quite safe.  While I don't think we need to be bubble wrapped, I believe there are situations we can't always get out of and if I choose to drink, then those situations start to flood into my life. Kathy, like me, realises that for her being sober makes her life infinitely better than if she were to drink any alcohol at all.  She talks about a really interesting dream she had and became sober from that dream.  Like me her life is profoundly better without alcohol and horribly bad with it.   Thank you for being on my show Kathy and I look forward to keeping up with your adventure.
So I've met a few people now who don't like Dr Jordan Peterson for a few different reasons. This of course is totally fine, everyone is entitled to their opinions. Personally I'm really confused as to why this is, because to me everything he says makes pretty good sense. In this podcast I try to lay out some arguments I've heard and I try to counter them. I don't want to sound like some little JP disciple, instead this podcast is to welcome some discussion as I think there are some important topics to discuss in an open minded way, rather than a defensive, aggressive or divisive manner. I also think that it's better to look at what's being said rather than who says it.  Sometimes we don't like the person who's saying something, but what they're saying may actually be true. Looking forward to your feedback on this one! :-)
So I made this podcast after someone told me that I just want to be right sometimes. I decided to think about it and work out why this is. I guess for one, I've never met someone who actively wants to be wrong, so I might not be alone. But in all seriousness, I decided to talk about how I think about this.   Hopefully when I use the word lifeline you don't see me as too arrogant, it's not meant in a high and mighty way.  It's more meant in a, "hey I'd like to help out if I can" way.
Satireday Special

Satireday Special

2019-12-0712:35

Being a victim of alcohol abuse is a terrible thing.  When I say a victim, I don't mean people who drink and then abuse others.   I'm talking about the fact that alcohol is the abuser! It's a bit sad, but I feel like I need to clarify that this entire podcast is satirical, given the PC culture we're in.
Hi everyone In case you hadn't noticed, my podcasts are starting to branch out beyond just drinking and I'm starting to address psychological issues, which end up touching on political aspects. The main reason why I find it interesting is because of the profound personality shift I've had since I became sober. I used to be very liberal in in my thoughts and am arguably more conservative now. I was pretty nervous making this podcast because I share a story that was definitely a low point in my life, hopefully the podcast stayed coherent throughout. If you find it useful please remember to share my podcast with others! :-)
Hi everyone I had a really interesting conversation with a friend a few weeks back.   I was a bit reluctant about making a podcast about that conversation, but I found it very fascinating, so I couldn't resist. This podcast is a bit different than usual and I'm starting to branch out into slightly different topics that are strictly related to alcohol.  Hope you enjoy it. :-)
Elena - my best friend

Elena - my best friend

2019-11-1713:17

Hi everyone, this is my short tribute to my closest and best friend, Elena. There's also few lessons in it that I have learnt from being an alcoholic a drunk and being in a long term relationship with someone so special, so it's not just "oh Elena is so perfect blah blah" I hope you enjoy it.  :-)
Hi all After doing an interview with my friend, another person was interested in talking to me about alcoholism. It's another long conversation, and there's a big sound jump after about 8 minutes because we had some tech problems.  Sorry for the lack of professional editing. I decided to keep the whole conversation unedited, so you can get the whole thing, rather than just snippets. Thank you Lukas for coming onto the show, and sharing part of your life story with so much openness and humility.  I really enjoyed the conversation and still am so interested in our ideas of what an alcoholic really is and whether or when it's time to stop drinking. Looking forward to your feedback.  
Hi everyone   Todays podcast is one that came to me after my interview with my friend last week.  I've since done a similar interview, which I will post next week. The interviews can be quite long, so I thought I'd pull some highlights and put them in a seperate podcast, as well as mention some thoughts around points which I didn't mention during the podcast. The elephant in this case represents a problem. I won't give too many more spoilers, I hope you enjoy it.   Finally, as I am now on most major podcasting apps, it would be really awesome if you could subscribe and share my podcasts with as many people as you know (if you like my content, that is).
Is my friend an Alcoholic?

Is my friend an Alcoholic?

2019-10-2501:36:11

Hi everyone   I have been talking to a friend of mine about alcoholism for a couple of years now.   In this episode he wanted to test if he is an alcoholic. We spoke at length and did two tests. The first test is to see if he is a primary alcoholic, which involves drinking 3-5 shots of very strong alcohol to get your heart rate up.  If your heart spikes by more than 8 beats per minute it could suggest that you are a primary alcoholic.   The second test involved a questionnaire. I have quite a few thoughts on the episode, which I will cover in my next podcast.  I hope you all enjoy it and find it insightful.  Look forward to hearing what you think as well as any questions or comments you may have.  
My friend Cal

My friend Cal

2019-10-1928:50

Hi Everyone   Today's podcast is a bit different than usual.  It's a tribute to my friend Calum, who sadly passed away recently.   The podcast is separated in two parts, the first part is some funny stories that Calum created and some of which I was lucky enough to share a part in. The second part is to do with some of the lessons that I have learnt from knowing him. This was the 4th podcast I recorded, but I waited for approval from his family before I published it.  I say this only in case you're counting the number of podcasts I've published and are wondering why I open saying it's the 4th one. I hope you enjoy the stories and hopefully find some life lessons as I have.  
Hi everyone   In this podcast I recap the most important part of my 2nd podcast after receiving some feedback that a few people got lost. Thanks to those who pointed it out!! :-)   This podcast is essentially different visualisations as well as some truths that exist in nature and scientific experiments that you can use if you feel as though you're in a mental rut so to speak. I also talk briefly about the drinking culture at the end of this podcast, I could talk about this topic much more, but it wasn't my intention in this podcast! Hope you enjoy it!
Hi everyone,  Someone asked me to a do a podcast on this topic, so here it is :-) The podcast is structured in 2 parts, one is more to do with the person struggling him/herself, and what it might mean to help.  The second part is more practical things that you could actually do. First half: 1.  It's not always up to you to be able to help.  The person who needs help needs to be WILLING to be helped.  The age old saying, you can bring a horse to the water, isn't a saying for nothing. 2.  What it actually means to be willing to help 3.  Why you need to take seriously.  Don't pretend to know the answers, it can be very dangerous if you get it wrong. Second half: 1.  Active listening 2.  Don't make the problem bigger or smaller than it needs to be. 3.  Don't mislabel things, but don't underestimate the power in labelling things accurately.  Labelling is NOT bad, but mislabelling IS!! 4.  Don't give medical advice - some people need anti depressants and some don't.  If a person is depressed (and not drinking ;-)) and taking medication, maybe they just need to switch to different medication.  Get a good doctor, not all car mechanics are amazing and not all doctors are amazing.  BUT some are incredible :) 5. If someone asks you for a specific favour, try to help them as directly as you can, as long as it doesn't harm them, others or yourself.  They may be so troubled that they see no other way.  Your act of kindness could mean much more to them then you will ever know. 6.  AA specific, if you know someone suffering from alcoholism and can't talk to them for some or other reason there is a group called al-anon, which is worth going to. I hope you enjoy it :-)
Hi everyone   In this podcast I discuss how I was struggling to break through from the feeling of doing nothing and feeling as though things were essentially void of any meaning.   I hope you find it helpful, as that is my overarching goal in every episode.   I also make these podcasts for my old self, which was being an active alcoholic, I wonder if these podcasts would've reached that person.    
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