Intentional Living with Tanya Hale

In the last episode we talked about a huge list of mental and emotional behaviors.  In this podcast, we're going to talk about the antidote for these behaviors, which is charity. This amazing piece of Christ-like love will rid us of those dysfunctional relationship disconnectors and instead deepen and strengthen and connect our relationships.  Charity helps us engage in healthy behaviors that will create healthy relationships. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #10 Unconditional Love on Apple on Spotify $48 Love Is All You Need on Apple on Spotify #92 Clean Love on Apple on Spotify #212 Healing Your Disconnected Relationships on Apple on Spotify #216 One Up and One Down Relationships on Apple on Spotify #223 It Really Is All About You on Apple on Spotify #242 Circling Back Around on Apple on Spotify #274 When We Behave Badly on Apple on Spotify #299 Love Is Not a Reward on Apple on Spotify #321 Clean Love and Relationships on Apple on Spotify #359 10 Ways to Be a Safer Spouse on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Who knew that there were so many ways we could engage in mental and emotional abusive behaviors.  Because so much of what we do has been modeled after behavior we experienced growing up, we often don't see the hurt and dysfunction in those behaviors. Educating ourselves on healthier behaviors is vital for our growth and progress. Because when we know better, we do better, right?  In this podcast we will explore behaviors we may be engaging in that are harming our relationships and preventing us from having the connections that we ultimately desire.  This is not meant to cause us shame or guilt, but rather to bring awareness to our actions so we can explore the feelings and thought behind them and ultimately clean them up. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #51 The Silent Treatment on Apple on Spotify #61 Charity is the Antidote on Apple on Spotify #75 Emotional Adulthood on Apple on Spotify #96 Understanding the Thought Model on Apple on Spotify #97 Why the Thought Model Matters on Apple on Spotify #189 Patterns of Behavior on Apple on Spotify #190 Protective Walls on Apple on Spotify #191 Why We Seek to Control Others on Apple on Spotify #196 How to Break the Blame/Defense Cycle on Apple on Spotify #211 Why We Do This Work on Apple on Spotify #223 It Really Is All About You on Apple on Spotify #240 Passive-Aggressive Behavior on Apple on Spotify #255 What is Gaslighting on Apple on Spotify #269 Fine - The 4-Letter F-Word on Apple on Spotify #302 Gottman's Four Horsemen - Destroying Relationships Has Never Been So Easy on Apple on Spotify #307 Curiosity, Not Criticism on Apple on Spotify #329 Five Strategies for a Rotten Marriage on Apple on Spotify #356 How Coaching Changed My Life with Stacey on Apple on Spotify #379 How Coaching Changed My Life with Lisa on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Psychological boundaries are internal boundaries that we set with ourselves, inside of our own heads. They allow us to decide what ideas, thoughts, or beliefs we want to accept and which ones we don't.  We will receive a lot of messaging about who we are and how we are and we get to decide which of those messages is okay and which are not okay. Having good psychological boundaries with ourselves is a precursor to being able to set clear and concise external boundaries with others. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #7 Boundaries Part 1 on Apple on Spotify #8 Boundaries Part 2 on Apple on Spotify #9 Boundaries Part 3 on Apple on Spotify #174 Better Boundaries on Apple on Spotify #272 Stay In Your Lane on Apple on Spotify  #274 When We Behave Badly on Apple on Spotify #314 When Setting Boundaries Is Hard on Apple on Spotify #318 The Challenge of Parenting Adult Children on Apple on Spotify #331 Sense of Self on Apple on Spotify #332 Sense of Self – It's All In Your Head on Apple on Spotify #378 What Can Happen When We Don't Set Boundaries on Apple on Spotify #380 Boundary Guilt on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoachin Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Setting boundaries in our most cherished relationships can be hard not just because we're often doing something that may be new and requires courage, but because many of us feel so much guilt when our boundary is not received with glowing accolades but rather with pushback and frustration and even anger. And that guilt comes from two places – ourselves and others. Learning to manage our thoughts to create self-respect and courage rather than guilt is an important part of developing healthy relationships with those we love. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #7 Boundaries Part 1 on Apple on Spotify #8 Boundaries Part 2 on Apple on Spotify #9 Boundaries Part 3 on Apple on Spotify #174 Better Boundaries on Apple on Spotify #272 Stay In Your Lane on Apple on Spotify  #314 When Setting Boundaries Is Hard on Apple on Spotify #318 The Challenge of Parenting Adult Children on Apple on Spotify #331 Sense of Self on Apple on Spotify #332 Sense of Self – It's All In Your Head on Apple on Spotify #378 What Can Happen When We Don't Set Boundaries on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

When Lisa first found my podcast over three years ago, she was in a tough place: struggling with divorce, her relationships with her adult children and their spouses, and feelings of her own worth. Once she started listening consistently and figuring out how to start applying the concepts, she was hooked. She began taking classes and even worked one-on-one with me, and now, as one of her children told her, she is 'unrecognizable' from who she was before. Learning how to stay in her own lane, allow agency, and love without expectation has changed her life and her relationships.  Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #211 Why We Do This Work on Apple on Spotify #356 How Coaching Changed My Life with Stacey on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Who knew that a lack of boundaries could cause so many emotional and mental struggles in our lives? Today I'm sharing with you an article adaptation from Dr. Henry Cloud's book Becoming an Adult: Advice on Taking Control & Living a Happy, Meaningful Life.  Dr. Cloud is one of the co-authors of the Boundaries books, and he shared 22 symptoms that we can experience when we don't set appropriate boundaries. I think you'll find this fascinating – I did! Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #7 Boundaries Part 1 on Apple on Spotify #8 Boundaries Part 2 on Apple on Spotify #9 Boundaries Part 3 on Apple on Spotify #27 Healthier Relationships on Apple on Spotify #47 Thoughts, Consequences, & Boundaries on Apple on Spotify #139 Being a Martyr on Apple on Spotify #140 Still Being a Martyr on Apple on Spotify #174 Better Boundaries on Apple on Spotify #196 How to Break the Blame/Defense Cycle on Apple on Spotify #225 Shame, Blame, and Disempowerment on Apple on Spotify #227 Feeling Obligated on Apple on Spotify #240 Passive-Aggressive Behavior on Apple on Spotify #250 Being a Victim on Apple on Spotify #277 Your Spouse Is Not Your Responsibility on Apple on Spotify #314 When Setting Boundaries Is Hard on Apple on Spotify #331 Sense of Self on Apple on Spotify #332 Sense of Self – It's All In Your Head on Apple on Spotify #333 Sense of Self and Dating on Apple on Spotify #334 Sense of Self and Marriage on Apple on Spotify #335 Sense of Self and Parenting on Apple on Spotify #336 Sense of Self and Our Spirituality on Apple on Spotify #337 Sense of Self and Our Sexuality on Apple on Spotify #349 It's Okay If People Don't Like You on Apple on Spotify #363 Breaking Your Over- and Under-functioning Cycles on Apple on Spotify #365 Villains, Victims, and Heroes on Apple on Spotify #375 Sense of Self and the Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/  

Learning to live our lives with intention is a powerful way to begin to create the lives we truly want. And it is going to push the boundaries of your comfort zone when you step into intentionality. But only when we decide what we really want in life and choose to intentionally move toward it will we find the fulfillment and contentment that is available with a life well lived. What can you do to live with more intention? Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #183 Taking Risks and Becoming  on Apple  on Spotify #186 Are You Committed or Just Interested?  on Apple  on Spotify #201 The Tolerable Life  on Apple  on Spotify #331 Sense of Self on Apple on Spotify #332 Sense of Self – It's All In Your Head on Apple on Spotify #346 How to Stop Reacting and Start Responding on Apple on Spotify #349 It's Okay If People Don't Like You on Apple on Spotify #361 A Luxurious Life, part 1 on Apple on Spotify #362 A Luxurious Life, part 2 on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Many of us have parts of our lives where we want to grow and progress, things we want to do that we haven't done before, and yet, we hesitate and don't move forward because it can be so uncomfortable to do something new, to step into change. I call this the certainty of misery. We're not happy with where we are, but at least it's comfortable, we're certain how our life will be from day to day. If we can courage up and instead learn to step into the misery of uncertainty, we can create in our lives something that matches, and maybe even exceeds, what we dream of. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #4 How to Change  on Apple  on Spotify #31 Choosing Your Life  on Apple  on Spotify #50 The River of Misery  on Apple  on Spotify #76 Finding My Wings  on Apple  on Spotify #78 Playing Small  on Apple  on Spotify #80 What A Girl Wants  on Apple  on Spotify #101 Conscious Unbelieving  on Apple  on Spotify #118 100% Responsibility  on Apple  on Spotify #121 Self-Certain  on Apple  on Spotify #145 How to Get What You Want  on Apple  on Spotify #149 The Importance of Discomfort  on Apple  on Spotify #150 Living in Possibility  on Apple  on Spotify #159 When Your Brain Lies To You  on Apple  on Spotify #169 What Don't You Want?  on Apple  on Spotify #171 Growth Is a Skill  on Apple  on Spotify #183 Taking Risks and Becoming  on Apple  on Spotify #186 Are You Committed or Just Interested?  on Apple  on Spotify #201 The Tolerable Life  on Apple  on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Having a strong sense of self is the key fundamental tool to creating strong relationships. Only when we have a sense of belonging to ourselves, a sense of our worth and value, of our inherent goodness even amidst our flaws and weaknesses, can we show up in the relationship circle as an equal partner. The stronger our sense of self, the greater our capacity for emotional, mental, and sexual connection. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #272 Stay In Your Lane on Apple on Spotify #371  Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify #372 Why Our Relationships Need Validation on Apple on Spotify #373 Safety in the Relationship Circle on Apple on Spotify #374 Creating More Safety in Your Relationship on Apple on Spotify #331 Sense of Self on Apple on Spotify #332 Sense of Self – It's All In Your Head on Apple on Spotify #333 Sense of Self and Dating on Apple on Spotify #334 Sense of Self and Marriage on Apple on Spotify #335 Sense of Self and Parenting on Apple on Spotify #336 Sense of Self and Our Spirituality on Apple on Spotify #337 Sense of Self and Our Sexuality on Apple on Spotify #349 It's Okay If People Don't Like You on Apple on Spotify Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Sense of Self classes and Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/  

When we feel safe in our relationships, we feel we can show up with more vulnerability.  When we show up with more vulnerability, we create more emotional and physical intimacy.  But oftentimes, the behaviors we are engaging in in our relationships put the other person into protective mode rather than feeling safe, and so we struggle to create the connected relationships we really desire.  In this podcast we will talk about ten ways we can create more of a safe space for our person. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #218 Honest Relationships #243 Having More Honest Communication #244 The Relationship Circle #284 Why Vulnerability Matters #295 Safety in the Relationship Circle #326 Stop Being Right, Start Being Safe #331 Sense of Self #332 Sense of Self – It's All In Your Head #333 Sense of Self and Dating #334 Sense of Self and Marriage #341 Choosing to Be All In #344 Are You a Safe Place for Vulnerability? #347 The Self Care of Relationship Repair #357 How to Be More Understanding #359 10 Ways to Be a Safer Spouse #364 Relationship Neglect Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/  

A strong, healthy relationship is one in which we create a very safe place for each person to be 100% themselves. So many of us did not learn growing up what it means to be in a relationship this way.  If you're like me, you thought that growing up and getting married would mean that you would have someone to love you, to shore up your insecurities, to validate you, or to agree with your opinions.  Strong, happy relationships are places to learn how to be more loving and kind and show up in a space of US rather than a space of ME.  In this podcast we are digging a little deeper into what it means to show up in relationship to create a safe space for our partner. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #244 The Relationship Circle #296 Creating More Safety in Your Relationship #326 Stop Being Right, Start Being Safe #331 Sense of Self #332 Sense of Self – It's All In Your Head #333 Sense of Self and Dating #334 Sense of Self and Marriage #344 Are You a Safe Place for Vulnerability? #347 The Self Care of Relationship Repair #357 How to Be More Understanding #364 Relationship Neglect #369 Normal, Difficult, Human Interactions Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Being able to validate your relationship is an important tool in creating a healthier space for the two of you to live and love. Validation is something that we often seek from others to shore up our sense of self. And this never really works, because SELF-worth is something that can only be created within ourselves. Validation in our marriages and relationships, however, is vital. It lets the other person know we see them, we acknowledge them, we accept them, and it creates connection and intimacy. In this podcast we are discussing how we can better validate our relationships to create greater connection. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #29 Validation #244 The Relationship Circle #295 Safety in the Relationship Circle #296 Creating More Safety in Your Relationship #326 Stop Being Right, Start Being Safe #331 Sense of Self #332 Sense of Self – It's All In Your Head #333 Sense of Self and Dating #334 Sense of Self and Marriage #344 Are You a Safe Place for Vulnerability? #357 How to Be More Understanding Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

The Relationship Circle is a concept that I keep coming back to again and again with my clients. Understanding the relationship circle helps us stay in our own lanes and resist the temptation to try and take control of things that aren't ours to control.  When we more clearly understand how to allow the other person the space to work through their own struggles and challenges and show up empathetic, supportive, and kind, we can start tapping into the intimate partnership relationships have the possibility of becoming. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #272 Stay In Your Own Lane #289 Why Our Relationships Need Validation #295 Safety in the Relationship Circle #296 Creating More Safety in Your Relationship #326 Stop Being Right, Start Being Safe #331 Sense of Self #332 Sense of Self – It's All In Your Head #333 Sense of Self and Dating #334 Sense of Self and Marriage #344 Are You a Safe Place for Vulnerability? #357 How to Be More Understanding Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoachin Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoachin Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Conflict is a word that makes many of us squirm – it's just so darn uncomfortable! And yet, conflict doesn't always need to lead to contention. What if you had the skills to turn a conflict into deeper connection and intimacy instead? Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #3 Resolving Conflict #110 The Cost of Being Right #156 The Benefits of Being Wrong #317 Fawning – What Is It, Why Do We Do It, and How to Stop #326 Stop Being Right, Start Being Safe #346 How to Stop Reacting and Start Responding #369 Normal, Difficult, Human Interactions #357 How to Be More Understanding Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

When humans act like humans, it can sure make our lives difficult. Of course it would be easier if they all just did what we wanted and behaved in ways we thought were appropriate, but that's just not going to happen. Challenges and difficulties in our relationships are inevitable and a normal part of all relationships. Learning to allow and even embrace these elements of our relationships is a valuable part of growing up into middle age. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #193 No Back-Burner Issues #216 One-Up and One-Down Relationships #217 Self-Respect and Being Wrong #244 The Relationship Circle #257 Other People's Agency #272 Stay In Your Lane #280 Living in Alignment #295 Safety In the Relationship Circle #296 Creating More Safety in Your Relationship #298 Friendship in Marriage #304 Personalities, Preferences, and Perspectives #326 Stop Being Right, Start Being Safe #331 Sense of Self #332 Sense of Self – It's All In Your Head Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

It can be easy, and even feel intuitive, to get in the middle of other people's business. And it's even easier when they invite us in, asking for verification that what they are thinking is true and what they are feeling is valid. When we feel we're being pulled into someone else's relationship, it's important that we learn to stay out and let the be responsible for their own relationship. In this podcast, we talk about why that's important and how to do it better. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #272 Stay in Your Own Lane #289 Why Our Relationships Need Validation #314 When Setting Boundaries is Hard #344 Are You a Safe Place for Vulnerability? #349 It's Okay If People Don't Like You #357 How to be More Understanding Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

So many of us feel blindsided when it comes to the relationships with our adult children. We heard a lot about the struggles of being a parent to babies, toddlers, tots, pre-teens, and teenagers, but not a lot about our role and relationship with adult children. The reason it can be so challenging is because so many of us struggle to let go of our parenting role and we can often feel that their decisions (which we can often judge as poor) reflect badly on our parenting. In this podcast I'm speaking with Coach Brooke Oniki about how we can show up better in the relationships with our adult children. You can find Brooke at www.brookeoniki.com Here's her Women's Conference talk: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/byu-womens-conference-may-2025-keeping-a-strong/id1819510541?i=1000712108423 Brooke's podcast: Midlife with Brooke Thanks for listening! Want to learn more about this concept? Check out these podcasts: #99 Parenting Adult Children  #129 Parenting Discomfort  #157 Friend-Zoning Your Adult Children  #180 Better Relationships With Our Adult Children  #182 How Our 'Wayward' Children Bless Our Lives  #202 Pain, Peace, and Parenting Disengaged Adult Children  #237 You'll Never Be Enough For Your Children #314 When Boundaries Are Hard #318 The Challenge of Parenting Adult Children #335 Sense of Self and Parenting Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

The conflict between our primitive brain and our prefrontal cortex is as old as our brain itself. Primitive brain wants to avoid pain, pursue immediate pleasure, and conserve energy, while our prefrontal cortex wants to plan for long-term goals and growth to improve the quality of our life. This conflict will often trigger internal negotiation between the two parts of our brain. When we can learn to increase our awareness around this negotiation and apply some tools to our thinking, we can find it easier to shut down the negotiation, keep the commitments we make to ourselves, and grow in our self-respect and self-trust. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #58 The Brain and the Mind #159 When Your Brain Lies to You #169 What Don't You Want? #229 How to Make Better Decisions #301 The Primitive Brain Problem #316 Confidence to Make Tough Decisions Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

Our brain loves a good story, and what it doesn't know in facts, it will make up with fiction. It also really like to have a villain, a hero, and a victim in its story, and it especially loves to put us in the victim mode because when there we don't have to shoulder the responsibility for solving our problems, we can just stay in a place of blame, criticism, and accusation. If we are to move out of being stuck in victim mode, we have to learn how to banish the villain from our story and even stop expecting a hero to show up and rescue us. We have to learn how to step out of being the victim and become our own hero.   Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts:   #29 Validation #122 Your Story About You #139 Being a Martyr #140 Still Being A Martyr #152 Victim or Hero? #250 Being a Victim #268 Drama Response #291 Divorce and Self-Worth  Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/

It can be so easy to neglect the relationships we most value because we have this ideas that they will always be there. And then, because of the neglect, they are no longer there. We may still be married, but we are distant and disconnected, and it can seem daunting to find our way back to connection. But it is possible to change the trajectory of our disconnected relationship and come back into feeling close and connected again. It will take some courage, it will take some intentional efforts, and it will require vulnerability, but you can do it if you really decide it's what you want. Thanks for listening!  Want to learn more about this concept?  Check out these podcasts: #244 The Relationship Circle #289 Why Our Relationships Need Validation. #295 Safety in the Relationship Circle #296 Creating More Safety in Your Relationships #298 Friendship In Marriage #302 Gottman's Four Horsemen – Destroying Relationships Has Never Been So Easy #341 Choosing To Be All In #342 What Does Vulnerability Look Like? #343 Greatest Hits – Why Vulnerability Matters #344 Are You a Safe Place for Vulnerability? #347 The Self Care of Relationship Repair #357 How to Be More Understanding Check out this article: https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-gratitude/ Are you curious about what it would be like to work with me? Here are three options: Group coaching classes are available at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Talk with Tanya is a free monthly webinar where you can ask me anything and we can have a great discussion.  You can sign up for that at tanyahale.com/groupcoaching Interested in a free 90-minute coaching/consult with me?  Access my calendar at: https://tanyahalecalendar.as.me/