It's Not About the Alcohol

As the holiday season approaches, this episode—originally recorded after Thanksgiving 2024—offers perspective that’s just as relevant now as it was then. Colleen pulls apart one of the biggest myths of change: that it’s the behavior itself that’s hard. The truth? It’s the act of change—the moment you take your brain off autopilot—that feels so uncomfortable. From holiday chaos to daily overwhelm, she shows how perfectionism and constant performance keep you stuck, and why setbacks are not proof of failure but invitations to learn. She reframes relapse, stress, and “slip-ups” as tests—opportunities to gather information instead of self-destruct. She makes the case that baby habits can’t yet compete with old, well-worn patterns in times of stress, and that setting realistic expectations is the most compassionate, powerful strategy for lasting growth. This is more than a pep talk. It’s a playbook for walking through the holidays (and any high-pressure season) without letting setbacks steal your progress—or your self-trust.   🔑 Key Takeaways Stressful seasons test your new habits; don’t expect baby habits to out-muscle old ones every time. Setbacks are tests, not failures—the lesson is in how you respond. “Failure” is just a mismatch between expectations and reality. Self-compassion is the fastest way to keep momentum alive. Progress sticks when you give yourself credit for improvements already made. Three anchors to use in setbacks: How could this have been worse? Where did I improve? What have I learned? If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity—  Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc   Transcript

Our culture teaches that when someone is struggling with substance use, the correct response is tough love. It’s better to let them hit rock bottom than to enable their behavior.   My guest today is Heather Ross, host of the Living While Loving Your Child Through Addiction podcast. She’s also a dear personal friend. We’re letting you eavesdrop on one of the many raw conversations we’ve had about the devastating impact the “tough love” mindset has on both the giver and the receiver. And why compassion is not the same as enabling.  You’ll hear Heather’s first-hand account of what happened when she shifted her goal from controlling the situation to connecting with her daughter. Her story is both heartbreaking and inspiring, because despite losing her daughter to a fentanyl overdose, she will never regret that she was a safe place for her daughter–and a source of unconditional love.   Buckle up, because this one’s a tear jerker. But whether you’re a parent, partner or just wondering how to show up for someone you love, you’ll walk away with a clear understanding of how to release fear, find your ground and support your person without losing yourself.    Click here to get Heather’s free guide: A New Perspective about “Enabling”--A guide for parents who want to help their kids but aren’t sure how.  Find Heather on social media @HeatherRossCoaching, and listen to her podcast Living While Loving Your Child Through Addiction.   If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.  Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc   Transcript

In this episode, Colleen unpacks one of the most common struggles in early sobriety and beyond: bone-deep exhaustion. She shares her own experience quitting alcohol (and much more) all at once, and how the “post-acute withdrawal syndrome” myth left her believing she’d be tired and unmotivated for years. What she eventually discovered is that tiredness isn’t just physical—it’s an emotional signal tied to how you’re thinking, what you’re carrying, and how you’re responding to your body. She reframes fatigue as a feeling, not a fixed fact. She lays out the calls to action—hydration, movement, thought work, environment shifts—that help you recharge in real time instead of waiting for some mythical “dopamine reset.” This episode will show you how to trust your body as the litmus test for truth and to respond in ways that restore energy, purpose, and hope.     🔑 Key Takeaways Post-acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS) is more myth than science; your dopamine recalibrates far faster than you think. Tiredness is often emotional—driven by draining thought patterns—not just physical. The litmus test is always your body: does this thought process feel open/energizing or heavy/depleting? “Tired” is a feeling, not a fact—you can shift it by shifting how you respond. Water, movement, sleep, and sunlight are the simplest energy fuels. Mental preoccupations and negative self-talk drain more energy than work itself. Change your environment and thought loops to spark curiosity and motivation.   If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc   Transcript  

In this episode, Colleen gives an update on the behind-the-scenes of what happened after being suddenly cut from a program she’d once called home. At first, she carried the weight of unfairness and betrayal, convinced it would take a long time to heal. But what started as a sting that clung to her body and mind turned into something radically different: a live demonstration of releasing the story that was holding her hostage. Through an unexpected NLP exercise with her coach, she revisits the childhood wound at the root of her pain and dismantles the old belief that others get to decide her worth. In real time, you’ll hear how her body shifted, her brain rewired, and her story transformed from “I’ve been wronged” to “I’m free.” What looked like rejection became a clean slate, a wider horizon, and a reminder that freedom comes when you reclaim the pen and rewrite your own narrative. This isn’t just an update—it’s a case study in emotional sovereignty, showing how quickly you can drop a heavy story and walk away lighter.     🔑 Key Takeaways It’s not the event itself that hurts—it’s the story you tell yourself about it. Collective agreement (“this sucks, you were wronged”) can reinforce pain instead of helping you heal. Waiting for someone else to respond or explain is giving away your power. Your body often signals when you’re carrying emotional baggage. Reframing old wounds allows you to rewrite new stories in real time. A neutral event can become an opportunity if you choose to see it that way. Freedom comes from owning that you are the source of both your suffering and your joy.   If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc   Transcript

You know that sinking feeling of disappointment or even disgust you get when you’re looking at yourself in the mirror and wishing you were thinner? That feeling is actually wrecking your metabolism.  My guest today is Sarah Haas, host of the Boss Body podcast. She’s here to share her story of how, after years of being thin and fit and looking like she had it all together, she found herself as a single mother dealing not only with her young son’s type 1 diabetes, but also breast cancer–which included radiation, chemo and a double mastectomy. She had to learn that loving your body is not about working harder to look better. It’s about releasing the emotional heaviness that is figuratively and literally weighing you down. In this deeply personal and powerful conversation, Sarah Haas, host of the Boss Body podcast, shares how the stress of being a single mom and battling breast cancer–including radiation, chemo and a double mastectomy, taught her that loving your body is not loving how you look, it’s releasing the emotional heaviness that is figuratively and literally weighing you down. Highlights: Why body love often feels impossible when you’ve let yourself go—and where to start instead The toxic role of the inner critic (and how to change the voice in your head) How midlife can become a catalyst for deeper self-worth and vibrant health Practical steps to boost metabolism in perimenopause and beyond   Whether you’re trying to lose weight or simply ready to feel more comfortable in your own skin—this conversation will give you the mindset shifts you need to begin.   If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Click here to get Sarah’s Rev Up Your Metabolism Guide. Find her on social media: @sarahhaaswellness   Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc   Transcript  

In this episode, Colleen pulls back the curtain on a personal “bitch slap from the universe” that arrived in the form of a sudden, unexplained expulsion from a coaching program she once considered family. What could have been a spiral into shame became something else entirely—a masterclass in emotional sovereignty. She walks you through the shock, the grief, and the moment she realized: this wasn’t actually about her. Instead of chasing fairness or demanding explanations, she chose action over rumination, redirecting her energy toward opportunities that actually align with her values. With candor, humor, and zero self-pity, Colleen models what it looks like to process hurt without handing away your power—and to see a painful ending as a door swinging wide to something better. This is more than a story about rejection; it’s a real-time demonstration of the freedom that comes from owning your emotional narrative and refusing to let someone else’s decisions define you.     🔑 Key Takeaways: Emotional pain often comes from the story you tell yourself, not the event itself. Shock and shame can be processed without spiraling into self-blame. You don’t need all the answers to move forward—you just need your next step. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Choosing not to be bothered is a radical act of self-protection. Redirects—especially the unexpected ones—can open doors to better fits and bigger futures. Freedom comes from realizing you’re the only one who can set you free.   If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc   Transcript  

In this episode, Colleen dismantles one of the most costly habits we carry through life: the obsession with figuring out whose fault it is. She makes a powerful distinction between fault—the cause of a problem—and responsibility—your power to choose how you respond. The moment you stop waiting for someone else to make things right, you stop handing them your power. With humor, wordplay, and grounded examples, she shows how clinging to blame keeps you stuck, resentful, and drained—while letting go frees you to act from a place of choice, not victimhood. Whether it’s waiting on an apology, reimbursement, or just “closure,” the real cost is the energy you lose while holding someone else accountable for your own next move. Colleen invites you to reclaim your response-ability, stop making other people’s actions the condition for your own happiness, and give situations “all the attention they deserve—none.” Because when you drop the weight of fault, you gain the freedom to create the life you actually want.     🔑 Key Takeaways: Fault is about causation; responsibility is about choice. You are always 100% responsible for how you respond—no matter who caused the situation. Waiting for someone to “make it right” keeps you stuck in powerlessness. The idea that someone owes you something is often just a brain block. Letting go of fault reclaims the energy you need for your actual goals. Response-ability means owning your power to act, even when you choose to wait. Not every problem is worth solving—sometimes the best response is no response at all.   If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc   Transcript

When my client, Michele, told me she was going to reintroduce alcohol. I’ll be honest — I was nervous. Actually, that’s bullshit. I felt like a failure. She’d been sober for 10 months.  I was her sobriety coach. And at that time, I was still operating on the mindset that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. Because everybody knows you can’t unpickle a cucumber.  But as we learn in coaching school, the client is the expert on their own lives. Telling people what they should and shouldn’t do is condescending, not coaching. So I checked my own fear and anxiety and held space for her. Michele is the first client I coached with a truly open mind — where there is no “right” way to drink, no moral high ground for whoever has the most sober days, and no starting over after you have a drink. Alcohol is neutral–it’s not good or bad or right or wrong. It’s not the problem and it’s not the solution. Working with Michele completely changed the way I think about recovery from alcohol use disorder. She is my patient zero, if you will. This experience laid the foundation for the work I do now as a mindful drinking coach. And she’s here today to share her story and talk about what it’s really like to learn how to trust yourself again…to heal your relationship with yourself so you don’t have to worry about your relationship with alcohol. It’s raw. It’s honest. It’s messy. And for me, it’s personal — because this opened my eyes, my mind and my heart to see what’s really possible when you stop using the past to predict the future.    If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc

In this episode, Colleen shares a raw, behind-the-scenes moment from her own emotional funk and breaks down exactly how she worked through it—thought by thought, feeling by feeling. From vacation wine to love-bombing exes to that post-holiday productivity pressure, she shows how even seemingly minor emotional clutter can trigger deep, subconscious beliefs that hijack your nervous system. Instead of bypassing or blaming her mood, Colleen slows down and listens—uncovering the core belief underneath it all: I’ve done something wrong. What follows is a masterclass in emotional self-leadership. You’ll hear how she clears the subconscious “rock in her shoe,” replaces it with a more empowering truth, and reclaims her mental space, energy, and creative flow. This isn’t emotional perfectionism. This is radical presence—and it’s how you clear the emotional backlog that’s actually running your life.     🔑 Key Takeaways: Your emotions aren’t problems—they’re portals into your subconscious beliefs. Trying to fix, perfect, or overachieve your way out of a feeling only buries it deeper. The belief that you've done something wrong is often a default program, not the truth. Emotional “funk” is your body’s way of saying, “Hey, it’s time to slow down and listen.” You can’t create, lead, or love from a dysregulated state. Regulate first. Always. True power comes when you're no longer afraid of your own feelings—and instead welcome them as guides.   If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc   Transcript

In this episode, Colleen reframes one of the most misunderstood experiences in recovery: anxiety. Far from being just a diagnosis or a quirk of personality, anxiety is presented as a signal—an embodied alert system that points to the quality of your thoughts. She breaks down the real reason alcohol feels impossible to control: not because you're broken, but because your brain, hijacked by stress, is obsessing over a problem it thinks it must fix. And when that problem is alcohol, you become trapped in a loop of overthinking, guilt, and trying harder—while your body begs for presence, stillness, and care. She offers a radical shift: your anxiety isn’t something to be solved. It’s something to listen to. Not with your mind, but with your body. This isn’t a mindset hack—it’s nervous system healing. And it starts by learning how to stop listening to your brain’s recycled stories, and start thinking on purpose.     🔑 Key Takeaways: Anxiety is not a thinking problem—it’s a body signal about the quality of your thoughts. Overthinking is actually under-feeling. You’re not healing; you’re spinning. You can’t out-think a stress response—your nervous system needs present-moment care, not more promises. Diagnoses can be helpful, but identifying as your anxiety or drinking problem keeps you stuck. Feelings are the physical sensations of your thoughts. If it feels bad, question the thought—not the feeling. True power is learning to think on purpose, not just listen to old programming.   If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc   Transcript

If you’ve ever been told you’re “too sensitive,” this episode is for you.. Today, I'm talking with podcast host Tina Marx to explore the deep connection between being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and the tendency to use alcohol to self-soothe. This isn’t a conversation about addiction or willpower. It’s about how sensitivity without emotional safety often leads high-achieving women to drink in secret—while still keeping everything else together on the outside. We talk about why HSPs are more susceptible to overwhelm, anxiety, and perfectionism, and how alcohol becomes a temporary escape—not just from stress, but from the full-body experience of feeling too much. If you’ve ever said, “I just need to turn my brain off,” or “I wish I could stop overreacting,” this episode will help you reframe what’s really going on—without shame, without labels, and without needing to commit to permanent sobriety. 🔎 Inside This Episode: What it really means to be an HSP (and how to know if you are one) Why emotional suppression often leads to compulsive behaviors The difference between coping and healing How to reclaim your sensitivity as a superpower instead of a liability  Listen to Transparent with Tina on YouTube @TinaMarxTv Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL if you’re ready to fully commit to your personal growth and do the work to get emotionally sober. Side effects include an 80 percent reduction in drinking. Want daily updates from me? TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer Twitter (X): @NotAboutTheAlc and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@hangoverwhisperer —Do you want coaching from Colleen on a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question. Your name will not be mentioned on air!   

In this episode, Colleen names the real culprit behind so many evening drinking spirals: not lack of willpower, but an overloaded nervous system weighed down by thought patterns we treat as facts. She challenges the idea that we need to “solve” our problems in order to feel better—and instead offers a radical invitation: what if the problems aren’t the problem? What if it’s our focus that’s keeping us stuck? Through candid stories from her own life, Colleen models what it looks like to let go of the drama we’re not meant to carry. From ex-spouses to global politics, she demonstrates the power of conscious disengagement—choosing presence over rumination, joy over justification, clarity over control. This isn’t emotional avoidance. It’s sovereignty. When we stop trying to manage what was never ours to fix, we finally free up the energy to create what we actually want.     🔑 Key Takeaways:   Focusing on what’s wrong often keeps you in the same loop—regardless of your intentions. Emotional dysregulation is often driven by what you're thinking about, not what’s actually happening. You can’t solve stress by overanalyzing it—you have to stop feeding it. Compassion isn’t the same as carrying other people’s chaos. Most of your anxious thoughts are optional—and so is your suffering. Power isn’t control; it’s choice. And you always have one.   If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc   Transcript  

In this episode, Colleen shares a game-changing reframe about why we actually get stuck—even when we have the motivation, the clarity, and the plan. Building on fresh neuroscience from Dr. Kira Babinet, she introduces us to the habenula, a lesser-known part of the brain that slams the brakes on our behavior when failure is perceived—whether it’s already happened or we’re just afraid it might. Colleen unpacks how the brain’s bias toward failure and loss doesn’t just stall action—it can kill our momentum completely. But instead of forcing progress through pressure or willpower, she offers a gentler, radically effective solution: the iterative mindset. One that removes failure from the equation entirely, replacing it with curiosity, experimentation, and self-compassion. No more proving, no more perfection—just real change, one tiny tweak at a time. This isn’t about setting better goals. It’s about learning how to stop punishing yourself with the gas pedal when your brain’s already hitting the brakes.     🔑 Key Takeaways:   The habenula is the brain’s brake pedal—it activates with perceived failure and kills motivation. Anxiety is often the habenula’s voice: a signal, not a flaw. You don’t need to "learn from failure"—you can shift into iteration instead. The iterative mindset removes failure altogether: just test, tweak, repeat. Performative SMART goals often create burnout, not progress. Motivation flourishes when self-compassion replaces self-criticism. You don’t have to earn momentum—you just have to feel safe enough to move. If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc   Transcript  

If you’ve been trying to change so that you can feel ready, healed, better and in control, this episode will explain how it’s possible to feel those things now–before you’ve figured everything out. I’m going to explain how to access your higher self—not as a future fantasy, or as someone you’ll be someday when you get everything right, but as a real-time frequency shift grounded in neuroscience, nervous system regulation, and the principles of manifestation.. You’ll learn: Why your higher self isn’t someone you become—it’s someone you tune into How to use quantum physics to attract positive thoughts and feelings that alter your reality The role your subconscious mind plays in your brainwave states and vibrational coherence between your heart and brain A simple daily practice using breath, emotion, and intention to align your internal frequency This episode blends science and soul. I’ll show you how to reprogram your internal signal so that your reality reflects who you already are—not who you’re still trying to become. Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL if you’re ready to fully commit to your personal growth and do the work to get emotionally sober. Side effects include an 80 percent reduction in drinking. Want daily updates from me? TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer Twitter (X): @NotAboutTheAlc YouTube: @hangoverwhisperer —Do you want coaching from Colleen on a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question. Your name will not be mentioned on air!

In this episode, Colleen shares a quiet but powerful moment from one of her recent coaching calls—where a client celebrated a huge win, and Colleen noticed her own body signaling that something was off. What unfolded wasn’t a rupture, but a subtle shift: a reminder that even seasoned leaders can bypass consent in moments of well-meaning reflex. And that noticing the signal doesn’t mean spiraling—it means listening. Through her own self-check-in, she unpacks what it looks like to be emotionally sober in the face of mild shame: not resisting it, not fixing it, just feeling it long enough to hear what it’s pointing to. Rather than defending her role or projecting the discomfort outward, Colleen models the kind of internal pause that turns self-awareness into relational repair—and deeper self-trust. This episode isn’t about coaching techniques. It’s about what happens when we make space to feel the moment before we justify it. Because sometimes, the most responsible thing we can do is let the feeling teach us—before we write the story.     🔑 Key Takeaways: Your feelings about someone else’s feelings are still your feelings—and they’re worth examining. Shame doesn’t require a defense; it often just needs acknowledgment and space. Coaching without consent—even gently—removes agency from the client. Emotional sobriety invites curiosity before assumption. Being wrong doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it may mean you're still learning. If you are ready to get support from a community of women who are co-creating this change with intention and clarity— Click here to BOOK A DISCOVERY CALL.    Do you want help from Colleen with a situation you’re struggling with? Click here to submit your question for Colleen’s NEW Q& A episodes. Your name will not be mentioned on air!    Find me on: YouTube: @HangoverWhisperer TikTok: @hangoverwhisperer Instagram: @thehangoverwhisperer  X (Twitter) : @NotAboutTheAlc   Transcript