Claim OwnershipJack's Silly Little Friendly Neighborhood Star Trek Discovery, Short Treks & Podcast
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Jack becomes a man by doing a podcast all by himself about every single episode of Star Trek: Discovery, Short Treks, and Picard! Join him as he listens to some sweet tunes, cracks bad jokes and reviews each episode. Stick around until the end for sweet and spicy features!
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SPECIAL PRESENTATION: STAR TREK: SECTION 31~! I know I’m sitting on a huge backlog of unreleased episodes, but we couldn’t wait to drop our thoughts on Section 31! Although since this movie is destined to be a perennial favorite I’m sure it wouldn’t matter when we drop this. It’s a big boy packed with a squad as memorable and beloved as that in Section 31. Enjoy!
Carlos fucks up another holiday?
The surprising return of Ro Laren lures Sean back to the podcast to finally dish on Picard Season 3. Ro SUPERFANS Barm and Kev also join the fun, as we discuss Picard actually feeling like Picard again, the silliness of Vulcan gangstas, what the new “jumping the shark” is, the possible return of the Crystalline Entity, Jonathan Frakes’s first, best destiny, introduce our OnlyFans, and wonder what the heck is going on in the third episode of Mando Season 3. It’s as fun as when Ro Laren and Riker did it!
As Picard Season 3 wears on, Richard joins in on the fun, Sam checks in again, and everyone kind of agrees that they’re sort of enjoying it, kind of? We fill Sam in on Worf and Raffi (missing from this ep), try to remember the deal with Odo’s bucket, find surprising parallels with the Yuuzhan Vong (look it up!), talk Star Trek books, delve deep into the mind of dipshit from Chicago Shaw, try to figure out why the hell Picard (the show) is the way it is, and talk more Mando season 3! Stay tuned for an important public service announcement about men’s health.
Barm and Kregg (Sneed is in the previously on) return for more Picard, and everyone sort of agrees that this is maybe kinda sorta an improvement on the last two episodes. Especially, a scene between Bevs and Jean-Luc has our knickers in a twist. Barm also goes off on Boomers, Jack goes off on Zoomers who don’t know what Boomers are, Kregg is amused, but we all agree that Shaw is Gen-X. We still can’t figure out whether Beverly is in Starfleet or not, but we do know Jack Crusher is the oldest-looking early twenty-something we’ve ever seen. Packs a hell of a K-O punch, though. We’re all entering a nebula of alcohol though, and wondering if the whole nightmare of Picard will end up being an elaborate prank orchestrated by Moriarty. Plus, we celebrate some shocking Trek news and the return of Mando, and pray for Barm’s testicle. In other words, it’s just a regular-ass Jaxilly.
Ferengi expert Kregg Castillo, who is enjoying this season of Picard more than most, is back to help us figure out SNEEEEEEED, the first (speaking) Ferengi we’ve seen in live-action since that silly old Enterprise episode back in the day. Does he pass muster? Does WORF pass muster? Can Picard EVER get its fill of literal heads rolling? But we’re also talking about a much stranger configuration of G-Unit than the one you know, really homing in on whether Jack Crusher is supposed to be annoying or not, reiterating that birds are evil, wondering what Star Trek episode is coming out when you’re hearing this, and just having some fun. Things are always better when there’s a Ferengi around.
Picard is BACK, and of course that means the PD Crew is on the case. If Picard can get the ol’ gang back together, why couldn’t Jaxilly? But does the PD Crew LIKE what Picard is hawking? (Shriking?) Spoiler alert: Not really, but we’re having as much fun chewing on this content here as Captain Shaw does chewing his dinner and also being annoyed by Picard and Riker and their harebrained schemes. It’s early 2023, obviously, so Antman and the Wasp in Quantumania (remember that?) is on everyone’s minds, but we’re also comparing Jellico to Shaw, gushing over the Star Trek porn that is this season’s end credits, trying to figure out if we saw a Changeling, fantasizing about Picard going insane (or doing some actual acting), revisiting the Citadel of Galens, and dropping THREE phat new jams. Season 3 of Picard may not be off to a great start, but this season of Jaxilly will have you ENGAGED.
Jaxilly’s coverage of the Lower Decks season 3 finale is finally released, and you’ll never guess the amazing stars Jack has gathered for this loving tribute to the Golden State. It’s two of SoCal’s most golden, SoCal Scarf boys Sam Stovold and Sean Davis! In addition to their thoughts on this exciting finale, you’ll hear a characteristic AI rant, explore the murky origins of Continuity Carlos, go on a Qualor deep dive, and celebrate some California Love! And that isn’t even mentioning a special surprise appearance by two of hip-hop and R&B’s biggest stars, here to bridge the gap between east and west coasts! It’s been a long road, but you’ll be Crazy in Love for this one, Rick! It’s ya boys!
WARNING: If this is your first time listening to this podcast, DO NOT start here, theoretical fan who’s just itching to hear some takes on the 9th episode of Season 3 of Lower Decks in August 2024. For JAXILLY SUPERFANS ONLY (how’s that for some gatekeeping; rather, trying desperately to keep the gates open). For fans of podcasts on life support that should have died, but have instead been cobbled together from FOUR different recordings recorded in THREE separate calendar years, have we got the five hour masterstroke for you here! Never has anyone struggled so hard to bring you so little. Seriously, if you can get past the random sound levels and temporal mechanics, there may be some fun to be had here. Thank you to Barm, for making this episode possible, in both the worst and best ways. JAXILLY IS FOR FREAKS
Dim the lights and put on some popcorn, it’s movie night at Jaxilly! And the loudmouths in the theater this time are none other than Jack, Geoff, and Sean (with a special unbilled guest star (OK, it’s Sam)) showing up to use Crisis Point 2 to reflect on movie tropes, endless quote the Simpsons, talk about the hottest pop culture (of late 2024), and remember that ANDOR makes this a double feature! JAXILLY WILL RETURN.
Chirp, chirp, CAW, muthafucka! Peanut Hamper is BACK (for the first time) in a Very Special Episode of Lower Decks, and this episode of Jaxilly is also very special because the wonderful Michelle Ugalde flies back to the nest and rejoins the flock to sing her songs about it, songs that Jack, Sean, Sam and Barm are all too happy to join in singing. Songs about birdmen, nipples, Final Fantasy, why ANDOR is the greatest goddamn thing ever and so much more. Roost here! CORNISH GAME HENS ARE BIRDS
The boys all head back to Deep Space 9 to reopen the wormhole, and they’re just as excited as the Cerritos crew! Kregg, being a Ferengi expert / Dabo Boy, tells everyone AAAAAALLLLLL about Quark and his “Dabo Wheel”. Plus, who can forget faithful Mariner, and her adventures in candle making? Plus, we talk about the HOTTEST new Star Wars show. That’s right, ANDOR. Reopen 2022 with us.
HEEEEEY, Jaxilly is FINALLY putting out episodes AGAAAIIIN. This one was recorded nearly a year and a half ago, but it is WORTH THE WAIT. The Super Rios Brothers are at it again, talking about the Spider-Verse, David Lynch and cowboys, Saul Rubinek, the films of Jordan Peele, the raft of delightful Star Trek deep cuts in this episode, and occasionally the main plot about the two Rutherfords that serves as the primary story arc of the season. Come party like it's 2022!
It’s another ApeCast Lower Dex outing, as Jack and Geoff talk about K’Ranch and other silly condiments, as well as the return of Martok (in bootleg Ferengi form!), the appeals of low-key comedy with heart, and list as many variations on “The Most Dangerous Game” as they can remember. It’s the best podcast out there not hosted by a sentient volcano, a telepathic baby, and a super-intelligent computer.
The Cerritos crew may be Grounded, but Jaxilly positively SOARS whenever the PD Crew gets back together! That’s right, friends, you finally have in your ear buds something almost as legendary as Zephram Cochrane’s first warp flight: Jaxilly eps about Lower Decks SEASON THREE, miraculously even before season four has started. Thrill to the gang waxing nostalgic over First Contact, confusing Phil Lamarr and Phil Morris, relitigating proper grape growing techniques, making Kev write new songs, and so much more. Make 125th Contact… with FUN!
It’s COVIIIIIID TIME! Jack’s got COVID, and you know what that means. FUN. Especially when Barm, Sam Stovold, and SEEEEEEAAAAAN Davis are talking about Room for Growth, just in time for the finale of the next season of the same show! Listen and enjoy these chucklefucks talking about engineers, Delta Shift, their history with churros, Jellico AGAIN, Simpsons moments that just don’t sit right, and some Strange New Worlds casting talk that will SHOCK you, if you are in fall 2022. Stay tuned for some Final Fantasy memories. If you don’t listen to this, you’ll be like grampa left at the gas station….
Break out the Cheeza, because it’s time for the annual (?) Discovery album breakdown! This time, Jack and Kev are boogeying down to some smoooooth-ass jazz, making this possibly the chillest Jaxilly episode ever. Fortunately for Larry Carlton, the biggest guitar legend you’ve probably never heard of, he had the foresight to name his 1987 album Discovery, thereby guaranteeing that he would FINALLY get the recognition he deserves, when Jaxilly would expose him to a wider audience in 2023. In between these soothing guitar licks and a SHOCKING guest musician appearance, Kev and Jack figure out how to talk about instrumental music, discuss musical snobbishness, and regale the listeners with a series of fascinating Larry Carlton facts. Get ready for some SERIOUS SMOOTH SILLY SHIT.
Jaxilly, and its intrepid PD Crew (and Sean) engage the Quantum Drive to travel to New Horizons, in this, the first Orville Bonus – Orville Redentalkin’: The Orvillesode (An episode about The Orville). This episode of the podcast is the guys talkin’ the last four(ville) episodes of The Orvile: Season 3, the ones that went on AFTER Strange New Worlds stopped. Along the way, they’ll talk Star Wars, Trek, obviously, DOMINO HARVEY, and a surprising amount about Ms. Marvel. I think it’s safe to say these guys like the Orville. ORVILLE ORVILLE ORVILLE MY NAME IS DOMINO HARVEY I AM A BOUNTY HUNTER
Happy Birthday, Ben(cker). The annual Curb episode is finally here, in a way that makes it not actually annual, but it still has Lauren! This time around, they’re talking about a prettay prettay good season four episode, Ben’s Birthday Party (which also means being sad about no Leon). With the surprising return of Michael the blind pianist, they take the opportunity to delve into the life of Helen Keller, revisit peak Stiller-mania, talk tits and scrotes, the appeal of Lwaxana Troi, that weird trilogy of animated Netflix Godzilla movies and so much more. When someone tells you no gifts, just bring ‘em THIS podcast.
It’s finally here, performing for you. It’s Jack, Barm, Sean, Kev Young, and the Enterprise and Farragut Crew! Is this just a cheap attempt at piggybacking off the greatness of a TOS episode? Or is it an using that episode to show us, through a gripping tale of heroism, destiny, and quirks of fate, what kind of a captain and man Pike is? Only Chingy can tell. But we can tell you all the latest details to emerge in the Shinzo Abe assassination, that Romulans are demons, and what Sam’s Thoughts are, as well as one of Barm’s most hardcore plugs, and a lot of other stuff. You’ll be as blown away as a Federation outpost on the border of the neutral zone!
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