Just One Thing for Parents with Dr Bettina Hohnen

In this episode, Bettina welcomes Belinda Edington, an expert in Executive Function coaching and Managing Director of Mindspark, a social enterprise dedicated to developing these critical skills in children and young people. Belinda explains what Executive Functions are—such as planning, organisation, and self-regulation—and discusses the factors that can impact their development.   She differentiates Executive Function coaching from therapy or tutoring, emphasising how it empowers individuals to rewire their brains through positive habits. This conversation is especially valuable for parents of children with ADHD, as well as any parent whose child struggles with Executive Function skills. Belinda also highlights the growing role of coaching as a supportive and effective resource for families.   If you’re considering coaching for your child or simply want to better understand how to support their development, this episode offers practical insights and guidance.

Welcome to our second "Must-Hear Moments" episode, featuring highlights from four of our earliest interviews with teenage development experts. In this compilation, we dive deep into understanding teenage behavior, exploring their intense emotions and shifting identities as they navigate the path to adulthood. Our experts shed light on fascinating research that explains why teens act the way they do, offering valuable insights into their world. You'll get practical advice on what to say (and what to avoid) during those crucial interactions with your teenager. With the UK summer holidays in full swing, many parents are spending extended time with their teens. This episode is perfect for a quick listen during a short walk, especially if you're feeling stuck or overwhelmed. 

Welcome to this special episode highlighting key insights from four of our earliest interviews with child development experts. We'll revisit valuable tips on supporting children who are struggling, covering topics like anxiety, trauma, communication, and problem-solving skills. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the podcast, these must-hear moments offer practical advice for parents, especially timely for those navigating challenges during the summer holidays. Join me as we explore essential strategies to help our children thrive through difficulties.

I have been excited about this episode as I interviewed the incredible and inspiring Hilary Kennedy who developed Video Interactive Guidance (VIG) which has such a strong evidence base for making change. She talks us through some transformative and often counterintuitive strategies for building stronger relationships with our kids. Learn about the "serve, catch, return" approach from video interaction guidance (VIG) and discover how doing less and having more fun can lead to deeper connections. Hilary introduces the "love, play, work" framework, and explains the "take five" concept for more meaningful conversations. Whether you're a parent of a newborn, a teenager, or anywhere in between, this episode has something for everyone.

In today’s episode, we dive deep into the hidden scripts that shape our parenting journey with behaviour expert Andy Baker. In it you will discover how seemingly harmless phrases like "children shouldn't argue" or "eat your peas, there are starving children" can actually be detrimental to our kids' development and self-esteem. Andy sheds light on these generational "should" and "shouldn't" scripts that not only affect our children but also impose unrealistic expectations on us as parents. Andy offers practical strategies to break free from unhelpful scripts and shift towards more nuanced and reflective parenting approaches. Whether you've caught yourself repeating phrases from your own childhood or struggle with parental guilt, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable advice that will transform the way you think about family communication and nurture healthier relationships with your children.

As if parents and teachers didn’t have enough to worry about before, now they have to get their heads round AI in education. In this podcast episode, I chatted with Claire Badger, an experienced teacher and head of teacher professional development at InnerDrive. Claire breaks down the complex world of AI in learning, outlining the key issues and highlighting some fascinating research that has been done to look at children, homework and AI. We talk about why banning AI in schools isn't practical, how AI can help (or hinder) with homework, and whether it's useful as a bespoke tutor.   Claire offers down-to-earth advice for parents and teachers on how to use AI wisely, encourage real learning, and keep the lines of communication open. While there's a risk that AI could limit children's learning if used improperly, it also has the potential to enhance skills development for kids from all backgrounds when applied wisely.

In this enlightening podcast episode, Clinical Psychologist and family therapist Manuela Sapochnik shares her insights on enhancing parenting through couples therapy, drawing from two decades of experience. She explores how attachment patterns shape relationships and how misaligned behaviors can create tension between partners.   Manuela explains that this tension often spills over into parenting, but can be addressed through increased awareness and intentional change in interaction patterns. As couples work together to improve their relationship, they naturally begin to interact differently with others, including their children.    This shift can lead to profound changes in family dynamics. By developing more adaptive ways of managing relationship challenges, parents can model and instill secure attachment patterns in their children.   Remarkably, Manuela notes that as couples engage in this work, they often see improvements in their children's behavior before even addressing specific parenting issues.   Please tune in for a deeper understanding of this transformative approach.

When your child tells you they think they have a mental health problem parents can feel frozen. How should they respond and what action should they take? I was joined by Rachel Acheson, a psychotherapist with years of experience in adolescent mental health services and schools to discuss this issue. Rachel offers clear, balanced advice on this potentially daunting situation, breaking down what parents can do, what to say, when it might be time to seek professional help, and what kinds of support are available. From the importance of staying calm and validating your child's feelings, to knowing the signs that professional support might be needed, Rachel covers it all. Whether you're currently facing this situation or want to be prepared for the future, please have a listen to my interview with Rachel.

In this episode of Just One Thing For Parents, Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist Jon Goldin discusses the crucial role of boundaries in children's development. He emphasizes that consistent, predictable boundaries provide psychological safety and promote secure attachment. John likens teenage boundaries to flexible rubber tires, allowing some give while maintaining stability.   The conversation covers challenges parents face in setting boundaries, including generational changes and social media influences. John and Bettina stress the importance of parental unity in boundary-setting, even in separated families. They explore the balance between kindness and strictness, the significance of emotional boundaries, and practical advice on issues like social media use and sleep routines. Please have a listen.   This is a really important and often tricky topic for parents. 

I was joined by Jenny Peters, family therapist, who addresses the parental panic that often arises when tried-and-true strategies suddenly falter. In those moments when parents feel stuck she advises us to turn to the "Three C's" approach: Curiosity, Compassion, and Courage. We talk about why these three core skills are so important for a parent to embrace and give examples and offer practical advice - from calming breathing techniques to navigating public tantrums. The key to our stuckness often lies in our own experience of being parented and having this insight can help compassionately unlock difficulties. Whether you're grappling with a toddler's tantrums or a teenager's resistance, Jenny's wisdom provides a roadmap for reconnecting and resolving conflicts. This episode is a must-listen for any parent seeking to foster stronger, more understanding relationships with their children, regardless of age or stage.

Navigating the choppy waters of family separation is a journey that touches countless lives, with a staggering 1 in 3 children under 16 experiencing this significant shift in their family dynamics. As parents, we often grapple with the burning question: "How will this affect my little ones?" It's a valid concern because yes, separation is undoubtedly a seismic event in a child's world. However, parents have the power to shape this experience, as I found out in my discussion with Dr Marielle Quint, Clinical Psychologist. Marielle has a vast amount of experience in this area and her advice will help any parent finding themselves in this situation. She emphasises the importance of conflict management, maintaining a delicate neutrality when discussing ex-partners and the importance of ongoing conversation with kids for nuance and understanding. Ultimately, Marielle leaves us with a hopeful vision: children thriving in separate, loving, stable homes where conflict gives way to understanding. It's a challenging ideal, yes, but one that's deeply worth striving for. Below are useful organisations, websites and books for parents to access:    Organisations for parents CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) Publishes the “Parenting Plan” to help separating parents keep child-focused planning at the center. https://www.cafcass.gov.uk Gingerbread: A charity for single parents with emotional and legal guidance. https://www.gingerbread.org.uk Family Lives: Offers a helpline and guidance for parenting through separation. https://www.familylives.org.uk The Parent Practice: Delivers training for parents on communication skills and managing family transitions. https://www.theparentpractice.com Relate: Counselling services for families and children going through separation. https://www.relate.org.uk The Spark (Scotland) / Tavistock Relationships (England): Offers therapy and parenting support from a psychodynamic and systemic perspective. https://tavistockrelationships.org   Book recommendations: Understanding Children's Needs when Parents Separate by Emilia Dowling and Di Elliott Mum and Dad Glue Paperback – by Kes Gray  (Author), Lee Wildish (Illustrator) Living with Mum and Living with Dad: My Two Homes Paperback –  by Melanie Walsh (Author) It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce (Lansky, Vicki) Paperback –  by Vicki Lansky  (Author), Jane Prince (Author, Illustrator)   I Don't Want to Talk About It: A Story of Divorce for Young Children by Jeanie Franz Ransom  (Author), Kathryn Kunz Finney (Illustrator) The Divorce Journal for Kids by Sue Atkins (Author) and Amy Bradley (Illustrator) The Split Survival Kit - 10 Steps for Coping with your Parents' separation by Ruth Fitzgerald (Author) When Mom and Dad Separate: Children Can Learn to Cope with Grief (Drawing Out Feelings) Helping Children to Cope with Change, Stress and Anxiety: A Photocopiable Activities Book 

In this episode Dr Nicky Greaves helps us think about how to support children on the autism spectrum with emotional regulation. She has some really innovative ideas about how we can use the special interests of these individuals to help them understand a context. She gives clear examples and interesting insights. For any parent supporting a young child with autism who is finding it hard to manage every day life it is an episode worth tuning into.

In this episode of "Just One Thing for Parents," host Bettina Hohnen delves into the crucial topic of building healthy resilience in children with guest Dr. Netali Levi, a clinical psychologist. They explore how modern parenting has rightly emphasized emotional support for children, but sometimes to the extreme of centering family life entirely around children's happiness. Netali introduces the concept of "family-centric parenting," which balances the needs of all family members and encourages age-appropriate contributions from children. This approach aims to foster resilience by avoiding overprotection and allowing children to face and overcome challenges. The discussion offers practical strategies for implementing this balanced parenting style, highlighting its benefits for both children's development of coping skills and parents' well-being. It’s a great episode for parents seeking to nurture emotionally healthy, resilient children while maintaining a harmonious family dynamic.

In our latest episode of "Just One Thing For Parents," I welcomed back Leonie Kenny to explore the challenges autistic children face in developing friendships and how parents can support them. Leonie delves into the complexities of social interactions for autistic kids, explaining how their weaker shared imagination, tendency towards black-and-white thinking, and reduced flexibility in interpreting others' behavior can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. She also highlights how social anxiety and sensory processing difficulties, common in autism, can overwhelm these children, affecting their ability to respond appropriately in social situations. This insightful discussion offers parents valuable perspectives on why their autistic children might struggle with friendships and provides practical tips on how to nurture their social skills. Tune in to discover what parents can do to support their autistic child in navigating the often tricky terrain of friendships.

Navigating the ups and downs of children's friendships can be a source of significant anxiety for parents. Whether our kids are on the receiving end of unkind behavior or we're concerned about their own actions towards others, these situations often leave us feeling helpless. In this enlightening episode, I'm joined by Leonie Kenny, an experienced Speech and Language therapist, who addresses the crucial question: “What is just one thing parents can do to help their children to manage and develop good friendships?”   Leonie offers valuable insights, reminding us that friendship skills are learned, not innate. She emphasises the vital role parents play in this learning process. Key takeaways include the importance of allowing children to experience some social discomfort, learn from their missteps, and create space for them to problem-solve independently.   Whether you're dealing with friendship challenges now or want to proactively equip your children with essential social skills, you won't want to miss this discussion.

In this enlightening episode, Sheila Redfern joined Bettina for a conversation that delves deep. Sheila is an expert in an approach known as Reflective Parenting. She explains that we often find ourselves caught up in trying to change our child's behavior and forget to check in with ourselves, yet that's where the magic can happen. Sheila introduces the concept of "mentalizing," which is all about reflecting on our own feelings as well as those of our children to create deeper connections. This episode was recorded the same week as the highly talked about Netflix series Adolescence. Sheila and Bettina observe through discussing this series that even the most loving parents can unintentionally slip into 'benign neglect' by not being curious about or engaging with their children's worlds. Sheila has some tried and tested ways to help parents begin to use this approach with their children. Ultimately, Sheila drives home the point that emotional regulation is essential for fostering positive behavioral change. By prioritizing our emotional well-being, we equip ourselves to better support our children on their journeys. Please check out Sheila’s latest book “How Do You Hug a Cactus? Reflective Parenting with Teenagers in Mind” published in March 2024

In this insightful episode, Bettina is joined by psychotherapist Anastasis about how parents can effectively support teenagers facing body image concerns. Anastasis discusses the challenges of talking about bodies as kids grow, particularly in the teenage years in context of what is going on in the teenage brain. This can be a tricky conversation for parents to start and something many parents might avoid for fear of saying the wrong thing. There is often high sensitivity and even shame around their body for teenagers. He advocates for normalising conversations focused on acceptance rather than pressure to 'love' one's body. He encourages parents to begin tentatively and start with observations, aiming to match where the young person is in terms of their privacy and openness. Try to avoid polarisation - talking about it all the time or not at all. This will be different for individuals, depending on their profile, whether there is neurodiversity present or sensory sensitivity. He recommends parents talking about their own experience, both the pride they felt about their body as a teen and the challenges. All of this creates a supportive environment for their teenagers' body image journey.

In this insightful episode of Just One Thing, Bettina chats with Anne Ozsivadjian about the important journey that follows an autism diagnosis. If you're a parent navigating this new chapter, this conversation is for you. Anne breaks down what to expect after your child receives an autism diagnosis, emphasizing the vital difference between a diagnosis and a detailed formulation that gives you a better understanding of your child's unique needs. She encourages parents to take their time processing the diagnosis and to tap into reputable resources. You'll discover practical tips on how to communicate the diagnosis to your child in a way that feels right for their age and understanding. Plus, Anne shares valuable strategies for making your home environment more autism-friendly, ensuring your child feels safe and supported.  By the end of this episode, you'll have actionable ideas and resources that can help you and your child navigate this journey together, including ways to find professional support and connect with other families. Join us for this enlightening conversation and empower yourself with the knowledge to support your child every step of the way!

Many parents of neurodiverse young people struggle with how to support their children when they transition to University. It’s a huge step and a time when these these young people are quite vulnerable. Linda Philips is a Speech and Language therapist who specialises in this area and in this episode she answers the question - What’s Just One Thing Parents can do to support their neurodivergent child while they are away at university. Linda highlights the unique challenges faced by university students with autism and ADHD as they transition and how parents can support them. She emphasizes the importance of regular check-ins for parents, shifting from giving advice to facilitating problem-solving through active listening. We also cover strategies for building resilience, understanding individual needs, and fostering social connections through clubs and interests. Please have a listen and I know all parents will find some useful ideas from this episode. 

In this episode, we explore how parents can support teenagers in building resilience through healthy stress. Matilda, an expert in evidence-based parenting, explains that healthy stress involves manageable challenges that help teens develop coping skills for future difficulties, without exposing them to toxic stress or leaving them unsupported. We discuss the science behind this approach, including studies on squirrel monkeys and controlled tree growth, highlighting the benefits of mild stress exposure. Matilda also shares practical strategies for recognizing normal stress versus serious issues, emphasizing the importance of understanding your child’s unique behavior patterns. In today’s social media-driven world, where normal variation in emotions can be misinterpreted as disordered, this conversation provides valuable insights for fostering resilience and raising confident, capable teens.