Just One Thing for Parents with Dr Bettina Hohnen

What does it really mean to give a child a secure attachment — and how can we do that if our own early experiences weren't secure?   In this episode, I'm joined by psychotherapist Anne Power, who has written extensively about attachment theory and how our early experiences shape not only how we parent, but how we relate to others throughout life.   Anne explains the two key attachment behaviours — caregiving and care seeking — and breaks them down into simple, practical elements that parents can notice and strengthen. Together we explore how attachment patterns are formed and passed from one generation to the next, what secure, avoidant, anxious and disorganised attachment might look like in family life, and how we can use this knowledge to nurture a secure bond.   We talk about what it means to be available and responsive, how to interpret your child's signals more accurately, and how your own attachment history may influence the way you respond when they are upset. Anne also offers practical ways to reshape your patterns as an adult — from creating small moments of repair with your child to finding tools for reflection and self-compassion that make change possible.   This conversation offers both compassion and clarity. You'll come away with a new understanding of how your own story influences the way you show up for your child, and what small, powerful changes you can make to help them feel safe, loved and understood.

Welcome to this special Must-Have Moments episode for ADHD Awareness Month.   In this compilation, Dr Bettina Hohnen revisits highlights from four expert conversations exploring ADHD and executive function through different stages of development — from early childhood right through to young adulthood.   We begin with Dr Laurie Faith, who explains what executive functions are, how they develop, and why joy and connection are essential for helping children's brains grow.  Then Dr Peg Dawson shares her "perfect intervention" — a simple, sustainable way to strengthen executive skills in teenagers.   Next, Linda Phillips guides us through how to support neurodivergent students as they transition to university — when independence increases but challenges may still remain.  And finally, Dr Jo Steer offers practical strategies for parents waiting for an ADHD assessment, focusing on meeting a child's needs right now rather than waiting for a diagnosis.   Together, these must-hear moments offer a developmental roadmap and a wealth of practical insights to help parents understand, support, and empower their children with ADHD and executive function differences.   Whether your child is just starting school, preparing for exams, or beginning university life, this episode will help you see the strengths behind the struggles — and remind you that small, consistent steps make a real difference.

When your affectionate child suddenly transforms into a teenager who rolls their eyes, snaps back, or avoids you completely, it can feel painful and personal. In this episode of Just One Thing for Parents, Bettina Hohnen speaks with journalist, mother of four, and bestselling author Lorraine Candy about why teenagers often act like they "hate" their parents — and how understanding what's happening in their developing brains can make all the difference. Lorraine reflects on her own experience of raising four children through adolescence, and how learning about the neuroscience of the teenage years helped her stop taking their behaviour so personally. Together, she and Bettina explore the physiological and emotional shifts that happen between 12 and 25, when the teenage brain is being taken apart and rebuilt, and why this process can leave young people overwhelmed, irritable, or quick to anger. They also discuss the power of recognising what Lorraine calls the "rupture and repair" cycle – the inevitable conflicts that arise in family life, and the vital opportunity to reconnect and rebuild afterwards. Lorraine offers reassurance that this stage, though challenging, is both normal and necessary for teenagers to become independent, emotionally intelligent adults.  This episode is a reminder to parents that the teenage years are not about losing connection, but reshaping it.

We often use praise as a way to boost our children's confidence — but does it always have the effect we hope for? In this episode of Just One Thing for Parents, Dr Bettina Hohnen speaks with Dr Barry Hymer, teacher, academic and author, about why feedback may be a far more powerful parenting tool than praise. Drawing on decades of research, Barry shares how praise, though well-intentioned, can sometimes chip away at a child's motivation and resilience. He explains the famous Stanford study showing how rewards can dampen children's intrinsic drive, and explores what happens when our words of encouragement shift from genuine feedback to subtle forms of judgement. We talk about what it really means to nurture a growth mindset, how parents can model resilience when things go wrong, and the small changes that make a big difference — like noticing effort, curiosity and persistence instead of simply saying "well done." Barry also reflects on his own experiences as a father, and how learning to replace praise with thoughtful feedback helped his children grow in confidence and self-belief.

Teenagers are wired to explore the world — but for parents, that can feel terrifying. How do you let your teen take healthy risks without putting them in danger?   In this episode, Dr Bettina Hohnen is joined by Professor Deborah Christie, a leading expert in adolescent health at UCL. Together, they explore the delicate balance between keeping teenagers safe and giving them the freedom they need to grow. Drawing on her extensive professional experience and her personal insights as a parent and grandparent, Deborah explains why risk-taking is not only normal but necessary, and how parents can reframe it as exploration rather than danger.   Their conversation covers how to manage parental fear, keep communication open, and recognise that our own backgrounds shape the way we perceive risk. They also discuss how to balance consequences with connection, so teenagers can develop the judgment and confidence they need to become capable young adults.   This discussion offers practical ways to stay steady through the ups and downs of adolescence, reminding parents that bravery, patience and perspective go a long way — and that this phase, too, will pass.   Here is a link to Deborah Christie's website where she shares many useful resources for free: https://www.deborahchristieconsulting.com/

How can parents support their children to eat healthily without slipping into diet talk or passing on their own body worries?   In this episode of Just One Thing for Parents, Dr Anna Colton — clinical psychologist and eating disorder specialist — shares what decades of experience have taught her about food, families and children's wellbeing.   We talk about: - Why the language we use about food matters more than we think - How to model a balanced, relaxed approach at mealtimes - Supporting children and teens to self-regulate, rather than laying down rigid rules - Why acceptance, not body positivity, is the goal that helps children thrive   Anna also shares her "one shift that changes everything": becoming aware of your own patterns around food and body image, so you have the choice not to pass them on. Listen now to hear how you can raise children with a healthy, confident relationship to eating.

In this episode of Just One Thing for Parents, I'm joined by Clinical Psychologist Dr Alex Leedham to explore the idea of the "social battery" in autism — a simple but powerful way of understanding why children with autism can so easily become overwhelmed.   Alex explains how everyday demands, from noisy classrooms to social chit-chat, can drain energy far more quickly for autistic children than for their peers. She introduces the idea of creating a battery-draining list and a battery-charging list - practical tools families can use to spot triggers, plan ahead, and build in restorative breaks.   We talk about how parents can help children tune into their own needs, develop emotional literacy, and learn what really recharges them — whether that's quiet time with headphones, preparing in advance for transitions, or connecting with close friends over a shared interest. It's different for everyone.   If you've ever wondered how to protect your autistic child's energy and prevent overwhelm, this episode offers both clarity and practical strategies you can start using straight away.

In this episode of Just One Thing for Parents, I'm joined by family therapist Shadi Shahnavaz to talk about how to reach teens who won't engage — why some adolescents shut their parents out, and what parents can do to gently rebuild connection.   We explore the everyday struggles families face when communication breaks down: parents feeling rejected, teens retreating into silence, and the cycle of criticism and withdrawal that leaves everyone exhausted. Shadi explains why trust is often lost on both sides, and how small, respectful shifts can make all the difference.   Most importantly, Shadi offers guidance on what parents can try this week: listening without judgment, setting fair and boundaried rules, and creating everyday moments of connection that build safety and trust. From bringing a hot chocolate to their room to sharing dinner together, these small acts open the door to bigger conversations.   If you've ever felt shut out by your teenager — or wondered how to reach them without pushing them further away — this episode will give you both reassurance and practical steps to bring the relationship back to life.

In this episode of Just One Thing for Parents, I'm joined by Clinical Psychologist Dr Tara Porter to talk about perfectionism — what it is, why it's rising, and how it affects young people today. We explore the cultural pressures that push children towards "never enough," from school and exams to social media and even well-meaning family expectations. Tara explains why perfectionism is such a risk factor for mental health, and how parents can recognise when opportunities tip into pressure. Most importantly, Tara offers guidance on what parents can do differently: focusing on balance, building connection, and bringing joy back into everyday family life. From protecting time for dinner together to asking the right questions at the end of the day, this conversation is full of practical insights to help children feel safe, valued, and truly "enough." If you've ever worried about your child putting too much pressure on themselves — or wondered how best to support them through an achievement-driven culture — this episode will give you both reassurance and realistic steps forward. Resources and Links Learn more about Dr Tara Porter's work and writing: https://drtaraporter.com Read my article based on this conversation: Avoiding the Perfectionism Trap: Raising a Child Who Feels Enough Explore more episodes of Just One Thing for Parents: https://drbettinahohnen.com/podcasts

In this episode, Bettina welcomes Belinda Edington, an expert in Executive Function coaching and Managing Director of Mindspark, a social enterprise dedicated to developing these critical skills in children and young people. Belinda explains what Executive Functions are—such as planning, organisation, and self-regulation—and discusses the factors that can impact their development.   She differentiates Executive Function coaching from therapy or tutoring, emphasising how it empowers individuals to rewire their brains through positive habits. This conversation is especially valuable for parents of children with ADHD, as well as any parent whose child struggles with Executive Function skills. Belinda also highlights the growing role of coaching as a supportive and effective resource for families.   If you're considering coaching for your child or simply want to better understand how to support their development, this episode offers practical insights and guidance.

Welcome to our second "Must-Hear Moments" episode, featuring highlights from four of our earliest interviews with teenage development experts. In this compilation, we dive deep into understanding teenage behavior, exploring their intense emotions and shifting identities as they navigate the path to adulthood. Our experts shed light on fascinating research that explains why teens act the way they do, offering valuable insights into their world. You'll get practical advice on what to say (and what to avoid) during those crucial interactions with your teenager. With the UK summer holidays in full swing, many parents are spending extended time with their teens. This episode is perfect for a quick listen during a short walk, especially if you're feeling stuck or overwhelmed. 

Welcome to this special episode highlighting key insights from four of our earliest interviews with child development experts. We'll revisit valuable tips on supporting children who are struggling, covering topics like anxiety, trauma, communication, and problem-solving skills. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the podcast, these must-hear moments offer practical advice for parents, especially timely for those navigating challenges during the summer holidays. Join me as we explore essential strategies to help our children thrive through difficulties.

I have been excited about this episode as I interviewed the incredible and inspiring Hilary Kennedy who developed Video Interactive Guidance (VIG) which has such a strong evidence base for making change. She talks us through some transformative and often counterintuitive strategies for building stronger relationships with our kids. Learn about the "serve, catch, return" approach from video interaction guidance (VIG) and discover how doing less and having more fun can lead to deeper connections. Hilary introduces the "love, play, work" framework, and explains the "take five" concept for more meaningful conversations. Whether you're a parent of a newborn, a teenager, or anywhere in between, this episode has something for everyone.

In today's episode, we dive deep into the hidden scripts that shape our parenting journey with behaviour expert Andy Baker. In it you will discover how seemingly harmless phrases like "children shouldn't argue" or "eat your peas, there are starving children" can actually be detrimental to our kids' development and self-esteem. Andy sheds light on these generational "should" and "shouldn't" scripts that not only affect our children but also impose unrealistic expectations on us as parents. Andy offers practical strategies to break free from unhelpful scripts and shift towards more nuanced and reflective parenting approaches. Whether you've caught yourself repeating phrases from your own childhood or struggle with parental guilt, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable advice that will transform the way you think about family communication and nurture healthier relationships with your children.

As if parents and teachers didn't have enough to worry about before, now they have to get their heads round AI in education. In this podcast episode, I chatted with Claire Badger, an experienced teacher and head of teacher professional development at InnerDrive. Claire breaks down the complex world of AI in learning, outlining the key issues and highlighting some fascinating research that has been done to look at children, homework and AI. We talk about why banning AI in schools isn't practical, how AI can help (or hinder) with homework, and whether it's useful as a bespoke tutor.   Claire offers down-to-earth advice for parents and teachers on how to use AI wisely, encourage real learning, and keep the lines of communication open. While there's a risk that AI could limit children's learning if used improperly, it also has the potential to enhance skills development for kids from all backgrounds when applied wisely.

In this enlightening podcast episode, Clinical Psychologist and family therapist Manuela Sapochnik shares her insights on enhancing parenting through couples therapy, drawing from two decades of experience. She explores how attachment patterns shape relationships and how misaligned behaviors can create tension between partners.   Manuela explains that this tension often spills over into parenting, but can be addressed through increased awareness and intentional change in interaction patterns. As couples work together to improve their relationship, they naturally begin to interact differently with others, including their children.    This shift can lead to profound changes in family dynamics. By developing more adaptive ways of managing relationship challenges, parents can model and instill secure attachment patterns in their children.   Remarkably, Manuela notes that as couples engage in this work, they often see improvements in their children's behavior before even addressing specific parenting issues.   Please tune in for a deeper understanding of this transformative approach.

When your child tells you they think they have a mental health problem parents can feel frozen. How should they respond and what action should they take? I was joined by Rachel Acheson, a psychotherapist with years of experience in adolescent mental health services and schools to discuss this issue. Rachel offers clear, balanced advice on this potentially daunting situation, breaking down what parents can do, what to say, when it might be time to seek professional help, and what kinds of support are available. From the importance of staying calm and validating your child's feelings, to knowing the signs that professional support might be needed, Rachel covers it all. Whether you're currently facing this situation or want to be prepared for the future, please have a listen to my interview with Rachel.

In this episode of Just One Thing For Parents, Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist Jon Goldin discusses the crucial role of boundaries in children's development. He emphasizes that consistent, predictable boundaries provide psychological safety and promote secure attachment. Jon likens teenage boundaries to flexible rubber tires, allowing some give while maintaining stability.   The conversation covers challenges parents face in setting boundaries, including generational changes and social media influences. Jon and Bettina stress the importance of parental unity in boundary-setting, even in separated families. They explore the balance between kindness and strictness, the significance of emotional boundaries, and practical advice on issues like social media use and sleep routines. Please have a listen.   This is a really important and often tricky topic for parents. 

I was joined by Jenny Peters, family therapist, who addresses the parental panic that often arises when tried-and-true strategies suddenly falter. In those moments when parents feel stuck she advises us to turn to the "Three C's" approach: Curiosity, Compassion, and Courage. We talk about why these three core skills are so important for a parent to embrace and give examples and offer practical advice - from calming breathing techniques to navigating public tantrums. The key to our stuckness often lies in our own experience of being parented and having this insight can help compassionately unlock difficulties. Whether you're grappling with a toddler's tantrums or a teenager's resistance, Jenny's wisdom provides a roadmap for reconnecting and resolving conflicts. This episode is a must-listen for any parent seeking to foster stronger, more understanding relationships with their children, regardless of age or stage.

Navigating the choppy waters of family separation is a journey that touches countless lives, with a staggering 1 in 3 children under 16 experiencing this significant shift in their family dynamics. As parents, we often grapple with the burning question: "How will this affect my little ones?" It's a valid concern because yes, separation is undoubtedly a seismic event in a child's world. However, parents have the power to shape this experience, as I found out in my discussion with Dr Marielle Quint, Clinical Psychologist. Marielle has a vast amount of experience in this area and her advice will help any parent finding themselves in this situation. She emphasises the importance of conflict management, maintaining a delicate neutrality when discussing ex-partners and the importance of ongoing conversation with kids for nuance and understanding. Ultimately, Marielle leaves us with a hopeful vision: children thriving in separate, loving, stable homes where conflict gives way to understanding. It's a challenging ideal, yes, but one that's deeply worth striving for. Below are useful organisations, websites and books for parents to access:    Organisations for parents CAFCASS (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) Publishes the "Parenting Plan" to help separating parents keep child-focused planning at the center. https://www.cafcass.gov.uk Gingerbread: A charity for single parents with emotional and legal guidance. https://www.gingerbread.org.uk Family Lives: Offers a helpline and guidance for parenting through separation. https://www.familylives.org.uk The Parent Practice: Delivers training for parents on communication skills and managing family transitions. https://www.theparentpractice.com Relate: Counselling services for families and children going through separation. https://www.relate.org.uk The Spark (Scotland) / Tavistock Relationships (England): Offers therapy and parenting support from a psychodynamic and systemic perspective. https://tavistockrelationships.org   Book recommendations: Understanding Children's Needs when Parents Separate by Emilia Dowling and Di Elliott Mum and Dad Glue Paperback – by Kes Gray  (Author), Lee Wildish (Illustrator) Living with Mum and Living with Dad: My Two Homes Paperback –  by Melanie Walsh (Author) It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce (Lansky, Vicki) Paperback –  by Vicki Lansky  (Author), Jane Prince (Author, Illustrator)   I Don't Want to Talk About It: A Story of Divorce for Young Children by Jeanie Franz Ransom  (Author), Kathryn Kunz Finney (Illustrator) The Divorce Journal for Kids by Sue Atkins (Author) and Amy Bradley (Illustrator) The Split Survival Kit - 10 Steps for Coping with your Parents' separation by Ruth Fitzgerald (Author) When Mom and Dad Separate: Children Can Learn to Cope with Grief (Drawing Out Feelings) Helping Children to Cope with Change, Stress and Anxiety: A Photocopiable Activities Book