Keep It Hush Hush with Sarah and Jessica

Jessica gets ready to speak her truth about her childhood for the first time. Sarah and Jessica both have big feelings about their little sisters. There are tears. *Disclaimer* If you are a father of either of these women, skip this one.

Jessica and Sarah reflect on Jessica's 2022 vs. 2023 and the wild changes that happened. Two new diagnosis, a feeling of abandonment, a new home, a dog - anything and everything that could ever happened, happened. From darkest days to full mania. Sarah talks about Pure O (OCD) and why she needs to listen to podcasts and music while living! Something Jessica never knew about! Jessica finds her voice and gets honest about what her intentions are for this podcast and this year while Sarah reassures her, debates and disagreements are what make a podcast worth listening to. . . . CW: Due to the nature of our subject matter, topics like suicide, mental illness symptoms, self-harm, and trauma may come up. For privacy and triggering reasons, we do not talk about these topics in graphic detail. *If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or urges to self-harm, please call your local crisis line. Follow this link to find a crisis line in your area: https://unwantedlife.me/global-crisis-lines* Disclaimer: We are not doctors, licensed therapists, or social workers. We are not professionals in the field of mental illness/health. Everything said on this podcast is our own opinions formed from personal experience with our mental illnesses. Our views and opinions do not represent those of any of our employers. Please ask your family doctor or a licensed therapist if something we say resonates with you and you would like to learn more about it. We are not here to give medical or clinical advice. We are simply here to share experiences and create a safe space for open conversation to end the stigma behind mental illness.* If you don't have access to a therapist, you can ask a volunteer working for the crisis line (provided above)  to give you more resources about what is available to you in your area.

What we thought was going to be a two month break turned out to be a 2 year break from Hush Hush and boy are we ever happy to be back. Sarah and Jessica talk about what they've been up to for the last two years, the ups and downs of 2022/2023 (Sarah can't recall what happened in what year and lacks a concept of time - what is time anyways? While Jessica lists it out like a memoir, cause you know, the woman loves her structure and agendas) This is part one of two as a lot has happened - Jessica's update will be part two! Sarah's podcast intention is to let go and let Jessica do edit cuts while Jessica's podcast intention is to stop people pleasing and say it like it is, even if her views are totally different. Get ready for a wild season - new diagnosis's, some completely opposite views, similar illnesses, and the same old friendship and banter. . . . CW: Due to the nature of our subject matter, topics like suicide, mental illness symptoms, self-harm, and trauma may come up. For privacy and triggering reasons, we do not talk about these topics in graphic detail. *If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or urges to self-harm, please call your local crisis line. Follow this link to find a crisis line in your area: https://unwantedlife.me/global-crisis-lines* Disclaimer We are not doctors, licensed therapists, or social workers. We are not professionals in the field of mental illness/health. Everything said on this podcast is our own opinions formed from personal experience. These opinions and views do not reflect those of our employers. Please ask your family doctor or a licensed therapist if something we say resonates with you and you would like to learn more about it. We are not here to give medical or clinical advice. We are simply here to share experiences and create a safe space for open conversation to end the stigma behind mental illness.* If you don't have access to a therapist, you can ask a volunteer working for the crisis line (provided above)  to give you more resources about what is available to you in your area.

While Jessica is taking a break, Sarah has started her own show about mental health and spirituality, claims of the paranormal, and yes, even cults. To subscribe, visit the podcast page for Get Well Sooner.

Sarah and Jessica talk to Greg McLeod: musician, librarian, and Sarah's partner. Jessica turns into a relationship counselor as Sarah and Greg talk about the mental illness symptoms that tore them apart and what rock bottom looked like for Sarah without her support person and romantic partner. Greg explains why he came back, and the three answer listener questions about the tricky task of having a healthy relationship while mentally ill. Check out Greg's music on spotify here. CW: Due to the nature of our subject matter, topics like suicide, mental illness symptoms, self-harm, and trauma may come up. For privacy and triggering reasons, we do not talk about these topics in graphic detail. *If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or urges to self-harm, please call your local crisis line. Follow this link to find a crisis line in your area: https://unwantedlife.me/global-crisis-lines* Disclaimer We are not doctors, licensed therapists, or social workers. We are not professionals in the field of mental illness/health. Everything said on this podcast is our own opinions formed from personal experience. Please ask your family doctor or a licensed therapist if something we say resonates with you and you would like to learn more about it. We are not here to give medical or clinical advice. We are simply here to share experiences and create a safe space for open conversation to end the stigma behind mental illness.* If you don't have access to a therapist, you can ask a volunteer working for the crisis line (provided above)  to give you more resources about what is available to you in your area.

Sarah and Jessica share things that they do to self-soothe when things get rough. Sarah is strangely calmed by conspiracy theories. Jessica thinks there are only 4 good movies in the world. Digressions include Lil John songs, Princess Anastasia as a historical figure, and McDonald's coffee.  CW: Due to the nature of our subject matter, topics like suicide, mental illness symptoms, self-harm, and trauma may come up. For privacy and triggering reasons, we do not talk about these topics in graphic detail. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or urges to self-harm, please call your local crisis line. Follow this link to find a crisis line in your area: https://unwantedlife.me/global-crisis-lines **Disclaimer** We are not doctors, licensed therapists, or social workers. We are not professionals in the field of mental illness/health. Everything said on this podcast is our own opinions formed from personal experience.  Please ask your family doctor or a licensed therapist if something we say resonates with you and you would like to learn more about it. We are not here to give medical or clinical advice. We are simply here to share experiences and create a safe space for open conversation to end the stigma behind mental illness. If you don't have access to a therapist, you can ask a volunteer working for the crisis line (provided above)  to give you more resources about what is available to you in your area.

Sarah and Jessica both got jobs and are not quite sure how to balance everything. Jessica talks work accommodations and how the pandemic has given her access to a more forgiving work environment. Sarah tells her students that insisting they show up on exactly on time is ableism. Diversions include bachelorette parties, live concerts, and some sleepy nonsense.  CW: Due to the nature of our subject matter, topics like suicide, mental illness symptoms, self-harm, and trauma may come up. For privacy and triggering reasons, we do not talk about these topics in graphic detail.  If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or urges to self-harm, please call your local crisis line. Follow this link to find a crisis line in your area: https://unwantedlife.me/global-crisis-lines **Disclaimer** We are not doctors, licensed therapists, or social workers. We are not professionals in the field of mental illness/health. Everything said on this podcast is our own opinions formed from personal experience.  Please ask your family doctor or a licensed therapist if something we say resonates with you and you would like to learn more about it. We are not here to give medical or clinical advice. We are simply here to share experiences and create a safe space for open conversation to end the stigma behind mental illness.  If you don't have access to a therapist, you can ask a volunteer working for the crisis line (provided above)  to give you more resources about what is available to you in your area.

Sarah and Jessica check in with @j.e.s.s.s to discuss her experience growing up mixed race and learning to take ownership of her body. Sarah and Jessica insert DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) into everything. CW: Due to the nature of our subject matter, topics like suicide, mental illness symptoms, self-harm, and trauma may come up. For privacy and triggering reasons, we do not talk about these topics in graphic detail. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or urges to self-harm, please call your local crisis line. Follow this link to find a crisis line in your area: https://unwantedlife.me/global-crisis-lines **Disclaimer** We are not doctors, licensed therapists, or social workers. We are not professionals in the field of mental illness/health. Everything said on this podcast is our own opinions formed from personal experience.  Please ask your family doctor or a licensed therapist if something we say resonates with you and you would like to learn more about it. We are not here to give medical or clinical advice. We are simply here to share experiences and create a safe space for open conversation to end the stigma behind mental illness. If you don't have access to a therapist, you can ask a volunteer working for the crisis line (provided above)  to give you more resources about what is available to you in your area.

Sarah and Jessica listen to themselves playing I'm Not Really Strangers in the past and have some new things to add to the conversation. Jessica has a new diagnosis that no one told her about. Sarah also had that diagnosis and has a LOT to say about it. Can two people have different personalities but have the same personality disorder? (The answer is yes. Absolutely.) CW: Due to the nature of our subject matter, topics like suicide, mental illness symptoms, self-harm, and trauma may come up. For privacy and triggering reasons, we do not talk about these topics in graphic detail. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or urges to self-harm, please call your local crisis line. Follow this link to find a crisis line in your area: https://unwantedlife.me/global-crisis-lines **Disclaimer** We are not doctors, licensed therapists, or social workers. We are not professionals in the field of mental illness/health. Everything said on this podcast is our own opinions formed from personal experience.  Please ask your family doctor or a licensed therapist if something we say resonates with you and you would like to learn more about it. We are not here to give medical or clinical advice. We are simply here to share experiences and create a safe space for open conversation to end the stigma behind mental illness. If you don't have access to a therapist, you can ask a volunteer working for the crisis line (provided above)  to give you more resources about what is available to you in your area.

(Attention: The interview starts at 13 minutes if you want to skip straight to it! Our intro is a bit longer today because we made changes to our mood scale due to new information from Jessica's doctor. ) This week, Sarah and Jessica talk to Anna and Maria, the twin sisters behind the podcast Bipolar Bicostal. Anna and Maria share their unique bipolar stories and how it affected their lives and their extremely close relationship. Sarah is reassured that her under-employed existence has value. Jessica tries to deal with the chaos that is four passionate bipolar babes on one podcast. If you liked this podcast, go listen to Bipolar Bicostal's interview with Keep It Hush Hush, available wherever podcast can be found! CW: Due to the nature of our subject matter, topics like suicide, mental illness symptoms, self-harm, and trauma may come up. For privacy and triggering reasons, we do not talk about these topics in graphic detail. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or urges to self-harm, please call your local crisis line. Follow this link to find a crisis line in your area: https://unwantedlife.me/global-crisis-lines **Disclaimer** We are not doctors, licensed therapists, or social workers. We are not professionals in the field of mental illness/health. Everything said on this podcast is our own opinions formed from personal experience.  Please ask your family doctor or a licensed therapist if something we say resonates with you and you would like to learn more about it. We are not here to give medical or clinical advice. We are simply here to share experiences and create a safe space for open conversation to end the stigma behind mental illness. If you don't have access to a therapist, you can ask a volunteer working for the crisis line (provided above)  to give you more resources about what is available to you in your area.

Sarah and Jessica play the card game "We're Not Really Strangers" in which they have to ask each other increasingly personal questions. Topics range from self-doubt to favourite cereals.  . CW: Due to the nature of our subject matter, topics like suicide, mental illness symptoms, self-harm, and trauma may come up. For privacy and triggering reasons, we do not talk about these topics in graphic detail. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or urges to self-harm, please call your local crisis line. Follow this link to find a crisis line in your area: https://unwantedlife.me/global-crisis-lines **Disclaimer** We are not doctors, licensed therapists, or social workers. We are not professionals in the field of mental illness/health. Everything said on this podcast is our own opinions formed from personal experience.  Please ask your family doctor or a licensed therapist if something we say resonates with you and you would like to learn more about it. We are not here to give medical or clinical advice. We are simply here to share experiences and create a safe space for open conversation to end the stigma behind mental illness. If you don't have access to a therapist, you can ask a volunteer working for the crisis line (provided above)  to give you more resources about what is available to you in your area.

CW: Bulimia, Disordered Eating Sarah and Jessica sit down with their mutual friend Jena Jacquot, who is the reason why they met in the first place! Jena and Jessica talk about their time working at toxic hair and makeup salons,  and Jena and Sarah talk about working in industries where mental illnesses come with the job and looks matter more than anything else. The three also discuss gymnastics, glitter, and how bipolar disorder can mess with your hair. (The music video that Jena scaled a wall for can be watched here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQeM9Mx7-bs&ab_channel=SarahJicklingandherGoodBadLuck, the album cover that features sequins glued on to Sarah's face can be listened to here https://sarahsgoodbadluck.bandcamp.com/album/when-i-get-better, and Sarah's aerial hammock video featuring the face full of glitter can be watched here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIIW1MITSSM&ab_channel=SarahJicklingandherGoodBadLuck) CW: Due to the nature of our subject matter, topics like suicide, mental illness symptoms, self-harm, and trauma may come up. For privacy and triggering reasons, we do not talk about these topics in graphic detail. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or urges to self-harm, please call your local crisis line. Follow this link to find a crisis line in your area: https://unwantedlife.me/global-crisis-lines **Disclaimer** We are not doctors, licensed therapists, or social workers. We are not professionals in the field of mental illness/health. Everything said on this podcast is our own opinions formed from personal experience.  Please ask your family doctor or a licensed therapist if something we say resonates with you and you would like to learn more about it. We are not here to give medical or clinical advice. We are simply here to share experiences and create a safe space for open conversation to end the stigma behind mental illness. If you don't have access to a therapist, you can ask a volunteer working for the crisis line (provided above)  to give you more resources about what is available to you in your area.

Sarah and Jessica talk about what's really on their minds when it comes to mental health, the meaning of life, and all that good stuff. Jessica gets angry at her bipolar. Sarah rants about ableism and why it's okay to be late. This is just an unedited, unplanned, and super open discussion.  Theme song: Crybaby by Sarah Jickling and her Good Bad Luck CW: Due to the nature of our subject matter, topics like suicide, mental illness symptoms, self-harm, and trauma may come up. For privacy and triggering reasons, we do not talk about these topics in graphic detail. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or urges to self-harm, please call your local crisis line. Follow this link to find a crisis line in your area: https://unwantedlife.me/global-crisis-lines **Disclaimer** We are not doctors, licensed therapists, or social workers. We are not professionals in the field of mental illness/health. Everything said on this podcast is our own opinions formed from personal experience.  Please ask your family doctor or a licensed therapist if something we say resonates with you and you would like to learn more about it. We are not here to give medical or clinical advice. We are simply here to share experiences and create a safe space for open conversation to end the stigma behind mental illness. If you don't have access to a therapist, you can ask a volunteer working for the crisis line (provided above)  to give you more resources about what is available to you in your area.

(CW: death of parents at a young age) Sarah and Jessica talk to Anita Lee about the softening of her "tough as nails" mindset, getting out of a toxic relationship, and putting all her energy into her relationship with herself. CW: Due to the nature of our subject matter, topics like suicide, mental illness symptoms, self-harm, and trauma may come up. For privacy and triggering reasons, we do not talk about these topics in graphic detail. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or urges to self-harm, please call your local crisis line. Follow this link to find a crisis line in your area: https://unwantedlife.me/global-crisis-lines **Disclaimer** We are not doctors, licensed therapists, or social workers. We are not professionals in the field of mental illness/health. Everything said on this podcast is our own opinions formed from personal experience.  Please ask your family doctor or a licensed therapist if something we say resonates with you and you would like to learn more about it. We are not here to give medical or clinical advice. We are simply here to share experiences and create a safe space for open conversation to end the stigma behind mental illness. If you don't have access to a therapist, you can ask a volunteer working for the crisis line (provided above)  to give you more resources about what is available to you in your area.

Sarah and Jessica talk about the idea of manifesting your dreams, and how it's pretty unhelpful, especially for those of us with bipolar disorder. Jessica has always interpreted manifesting as "fake it 'til you make it," to varying results. Sarah used to believe in the law of attraction, and she explains how it's actually victim-blaming in disguise. Neither of them are really on board for manifesting.  CW: Due to the nature of our subject matter, topics like suicide, mental illness symptoms, self-harm, and trauma may come up. For privacy and triggering reasons, we do not talk about these topics in graphic detail. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or urges to self-harm, please call your local crisis line. Follow this link to find a crisis line in your area: https://unwantedlife.me/global-crisis-lines **Disclaimer** We are not doctors, licensed therapists, or social workers. We are not professionals in the field of mental illness/health. Everything said on this podcast is our own opinions formed from personal experience.  Please ask your family doctor or a licensed therapist if something we say resonates with you and you would like to learn more about it. We are not here to give medical or clinical advice. We are simply here to share experiences and create a safe space for open conversation to end the stigma behind mental illness. If you don't have access to a therapist, you can ask a volunteer working for the crisis line (provided above)  to give you more resources about what is available to you in your area.

Our guest Amanda tells her story and advocates for a future where our worth isn't tied to the sizes and shapes of our bodies.  Amanda and Sarah share the diagnosis of Binge Eating Disorder, but their experiences are very different.  Jessica asks how to approach a friend or a loved one who may have an eating disorder and need help.   CW: Due to the nature of our subject matter, topics like suicide, mental illness symptoms, self-harm, and trauma may come up. For privacy and triggering reasons, we do not talk about these topics in graphic detail. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or urges to self-harm, please call your local crisis line. Follow this link to find a crisis line in your area: https://unwantedlife.me/global-crisis-lines **Disclaimer** We are not doctors, licensed therapists, or social workers. We are not professionals in the field of mental illness/health. Everything said on this podcast is our own opinions formed from personal experience.  Please ask your family doctor or a licensed therapist if something we say resonates with you and you would like to learn more about it. We are not here to give medical or clinical advice. We are simply here to share experiences and create a safe space for open conversation to end the stigma behind mental illness. If you don't have access to a therapist, you can ask a volunteer working for the crisis line (provided above)  to give you more resources about what is available to you in your area.

Sarah and Jessica talk about how new year's resolutions are a recipe for disappointment and discuss different ways to avoid falling into the self-improvement trap.  Sarah chooses her special, super-serious word of the year for 2021.  Jessica decides what her core values are in like three seconds.  CW: Due to the nature of our subject matter, topics like suicide, mental illness symptoms, self-harm, and trauma may come up. For privacy and triggering reasons, we do not talk about these topics in graphic detail. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or urges to self-harm, please call your local crisis line. Follow this link to find a crisis line in your area: https://unwantedlife.me/global-crisis-lines **Disclaimer** We are not doctors, licensed therapists, or social workers. We are not professionals in the field of mental illness/health. Everything said on this podcast is our own opinions formed from personal experience.  Please ask your family doctor or a licensed therapist if something we say resonates with you and you would like to learn more about it. We are not here to give medical or clinical advice. We are simply here to share experiences and create a safe space for open conversation to end the stigma behind mental illness. If you don't have access to a therapist, you can ask a volunteer working for the crisis line (provided above)  to give you more resources about what is available to you in your area.

Sydney Thorne tells Sarah and Jessica about her experience of being in denial for years until she finally got diagnosed with ADHD.  All three of them go off about their terrible experiences with post-secondary education.  Sydney gets into the details of what ADHD really is, and how being diagnosed has changed her life. Here are some of the ADHD accounts that helped Sydney: https://twitter.com/danidonovan?s=21 https://twitter.com/howtoadhd?s=21 https://twitter.com/dustychipura?s=21 https://twitter.com/blkgirllostkeys?s=21 CW: Due to the nature of our subject matter, topics like suicide, mental illness symptoms, self-harm, and trauma may come up. For privacy and triggering reasons, we do not talk about these topics in graphic detail. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or urges to self-harm, please call your local crisis line. Follow this link to find a crisis line in your area: https://unwantedlife.me/global-crisis-lines **Disclaimer** We are not doctors, licensed therapists, or social workers. We are not professionals in the field of mental illness/health. Everything said on this podcast is our own opinions formed from personal experience.  Please ask your family doctor or a licensed therapist if something we say resonates with you and you would like to learn more about it. We are not here to give medical or clinical advice. We are simply here to share experiences and create a safe space for open conversation to end the stigma behind mental illness. If you don't have access to a therapist, you can ask a volunteer working for the crisis line (provided above)  to give you more resources about what is available to you in your area.

Sarah talks about how she has combatted SAD in the past, and why it particularly affects people with bipolar disorder. Jessica discusses all things cozy, and reveals her Jersey Shore inspired past. Both girls mix up serotonin, adrenaline, and dopamine because they are NOT DOCTORS! Learn a little more about SAD here if you think you might suffer from this. Follow Allison Bickerstaff (the insta girl jessica mentions) for cozy inspo here. . . . . CW: Due to the nature of our subject matter, topics like suicide, mental illness symptoms, self-harm, and trauma may come up. For privacy and triggering reasons, we do not talk about these topics in graphic detail. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or urges to self-harm, please call your local crisis line. Follow this link to find a crisis line in your area: https://unwantedlife.me/global-crisis-lines **Disclaimer** We are not doctors, licensed therapists, or social workers. We are not professionals in the field of mental illness/health. Everything said on this podcast is our own opinions formed from personal experience.  Please ask your family doctor or a licensed therapist if something we say resonates with you and you would like to learn more about it. We are not here to give medical or clinical advice. We are simply here to share experiences and create a safe space for open conversation to end the stigma behind mental illness. If you don't have access to a therapist, you can ask a volunteer working for the crisis line (provided above)  to give you more resources about what is available to you in your area.

Sarah talks about how pole dancing and aerial arts have improved her mental health and changed her life.  Jessica discovers that she actually had a hobby THE WHOLE TIME! YOUR hobby is valid, and YOUR hobby is valid! All of our hobbies are valid!  CW: Due to the nature of our subject matter, topics like suicide, mental illness symptoms, self-harm, and trauma may come up. For privacy and triggering reasons, we do not talk about these topics in graphic detail. If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or urges to self-harm, please call your local crisis line. Follow this link to find a crisis line in your area: https://unwantedlife.me/global-crisis-lines **Disclaimer** We are not doctors, licensed therapists, or social workers. We are not professionals in the field of mental illness/health. Everything said on this podcast is our own opinions formed from personal experience.  Please ask your family doctor or a licensed therapist if something we say resonates with you and you would like to learn more about it. We are not here to give medical or clinical advice. We are simply here to share experiences and create a safe space for open conversation to end the stigma behind mental illness. If you don't have access to a therapist, you can ask a volunteer working for the crisis line (provided above)  to give you more resources about what is available to you in your area.