King Me

Things are a-changin’, as life tends to do. Turns out: some mountains ARE high enough. Thank you everybody for listening.

It’s all in the title you spooky lil’ babies

God blast his rotten soul—that filthy skeleton’s hounding you again! The beast never stops; he will chase you until his very bones have been ground to dust. Him and his poisonous tales, pouring from that hollow mouth, stripping the meat from your bones. It won’t be long before you’re the bony menace—shrieking at passers by, […]

Sometimes, the crypt is a grassy plain in the open air. Who’s to say why it’s here, why it’s there, why it’s everywhere. The crypt is the crypt is the land is the sea is the sky is the dirt is the glass is the moon. Nothing here is real except the dead. The dead […]

Ride your hog into the deepest crevasse of the crypt. Down here, your only friend is the purr of the engine, and sweet guitar licks. What fresh horrors await you down here, and—more importantly—will you be able to remember them on the other side? Music Credit: Until the Next Time – John Harrison Who Made […]

Ah, once again, the pretense of narration is dropped for yet another Dark Tower novel. Returning guest Braden comes to share his takes on the second, much-improved book in the Dark Tower series. Hope y’all dig on this here ep! Music Credit: Until the Next Time – John Harrison

Howdy howdy howdy. Did you know that I’m just a regular person? Betcha did, but I betcha weren’t expecting me to take some time off. Hey! That’s how it is sometimes. Sometimes, it do be like that. Thank you, I hope you enjoy this! I think it’s alright. It’s also only 10 minutes! That’s like […]

You squeeze through the tight walls of a small passage, and begin to hear a nightmarish howling. It ricochets, growing louder, and louder, and louder. It deafens your mind, and memories of who you were before you began this ghoulish journey shatter like so much cheap glass – dirty, thin, jagged. Where are you headed? […]

You step into the next chamber, and feel a disquieting sense of deja vu – the wet walls remind you of something. Perhaps something from a previous failed expedition, or a misremembered dream….. It matters not. You are here, and, soon, this place will be gone. Just like all the others. Music Credit: Until the […]

Coated in the flesh of the corn, you begin to panic, and heat. The stink of this strange plant seeps into your flesh, even as it grows limp and wet with your sweat. Suddenly, it alights, and begins to writhe. It twists and squirms in flame, as though it is alive with agony. Within seconds […]

The engine stalls, sputters, chokes. A blighted mass of husks hang loose from the crack of the hood, your car has been force-fed the field you find yourself stuck in. Corn grows from all directions – even sprouting from the roof of the cavern. You step outside the car and recoil at the touch of […]

There is literally a dang car in this tunnel. It’s just a car. What on earth is a car doing down here??? It starts to life, and you sit in the drivers seat – called forth to its allure. You can feel the engine rumbling through the frame around you. The wheels spin and burning […]

Sometimes, the narrator through this journey through the crypt is sick, and doesn’t feel totally up to writing something spooky and apropos to the story at hand. Special guest Braden and I read the dang-ol Gunslinger, which was very interesting and fun.   Music Credit: Until the Next Time – Creepshow

The bite of the hound still wet on your flesh, you press forward. Sometimes, when you look in front of you, it seems as though nothing’s there. The void stretches endlessly, pushed forward by cave after cave. The sounds of flipped pages bounce off the frozen walls, until even they cease to register. Your mind […]

From afar, it howls – the hellhound of this damnable crypt. They gibber distant shrieks; both sadness and enraged confusion echoes in its harrowed sounds. Are they a prisoner too, like you – like us? Any answer has been lost to the toxins within.

Suddenly, the walls grow smooth. Patches are wet, hot and moist; “wet, almost like fruit” you think. A baby weeps – an echo coming from some forgotten passage. And the sound of waves…. the shore. Is that the tide coming in? You press your ear to the wall – it gives, soft, unlike stone – […]

The crypt extends deeper than you could have possibly imagined, and sounds of Carrie fade as you continue forward. The speech of a hundred different podcasts echo hollow off the walls, resonating in coffin and bone. It overwhelms you. The auditory assault drives you to panic, and you scrabble forward, desperately. Right as your head […]

The crypt is dark and wet – it surrounds you. You scramble for a light, a match, anything. You hear a noise to your left – a laugh, off in the cavernous distance – and a blue glow illuminates the stone coffins around you. The light calls you towards it, and as you near, you […]