LOVERS by shan

Watch what happens when you ask for a performance review in your relationship. Do the hard and awkward questions lead to more intimacy or new resentments? In this week’s episode of Lovers, Shan sits down with her husband, Jared Brady, for their quarterly relationship check-in — on camera. Together, they ask the tough but necessary questions: Am I still who you want? Are you becoming who I need? This raw and real conversation reveals how couples can stay aligned, navigate change, and keep intimacy thriving over time. Plus, Shan and Jared share a free Relationship Check-In Guide so you and your partner can try this practice at home. Whether you’re dating, married, or somewhere in between, this episode is a roadmap for honest communication, vulnerability, and keeping love strong. Resource - Interactive Guide https://www.loversbyshan.com/resource/relationship-checkin 🔗 Follow Jared Brady Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/enjoyjaredbrady/?hl=en  https://www.youtube.com/@MusicMondayEnjoy Want more Lover? Check out Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.com  Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter  💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community  Check out free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/quizzes 

What does it mean to be ready for motherhood? How do love, faith, and our relationship with our maternal figures shape our parenting? In this honest and grounded conversation, educator, author, and activist Blair Imani shares her perspective on family planning, pregnancy loss, and the role of sexual education in real life. She opens up about having conversations with her partner around abortion as part of sexual health, and how her conversion to Islam continues to guide her through questions of timing, family, and faith. We also dive into Blair’s relationship with her mom, and how that connection influences her hopes for becoming a parent herself. It’s a conversation about the choices we face when planning for a baby, the loss and love that come with it, and the bigger role faith, values, and family play in planning our future.  🔗 Follow Blair Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/blairimani TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@blairimani YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@blairimani Website: https://www.blairimani.com/  Want more Lover? Check out Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.com Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter 💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Check out free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter

What holds a relationship together when life falls apart? Most of us picture the happiest moments when we think about our partner, but what happens when tragedy hits? In this intimate conversation, Dr. Laura Berman shares how she and her husband weathered some of life’s hardest storms together.  From dating him while she was caring for her young son with cancer, to the unimaginable loss of their son Sammy during the pandemic, Laura takes us inside the moments that tested their love, and the choices that kept them connected. Days after the death of their first child together, Sam pulled Laura close and said, “Most couples don’t get through tragedies like this, but we will.”  It’s a reminder that the strength of a relationship isn’t just built in joy, it’s forged in the fire of what you survive together. Want more Lover? Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.com Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter 💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Checkout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter ________________________ Advertising & Other Inquiries: team@loversbyshan.com

This week on Lovers, Shan sits down with The Pink Parley, a sex worker pulling back the curtain on what men secretly crave but rarely admit—even to their wives. With 98% of her clients being married men who have no desire to leave their marriages, Parley reveals the surprising request that keeps them coming back: ass worship. Yes, you read that right. These men don’t just want to “eat the groceries”—they want to be consumed by, suffocated by, and utterly surrounded by the booty. For them, it’s not just an act of pleasure; it’s a full-body, sensory experience. Together, Shan and Parley unpack what this hidden desire tells us about: - The gap between fantasy and communication in long-term relationships - The role of body positivity in sexual confidence and desire - How unspoken cravings can complicate fidelity inside marriage This episode is provocative, eye-opening, and an important reminder that what we don’t say in the bedroom can be just as impactful as what we do. 🔗 Follow The Pink Parley Website: https://thepinkparley.com/ Instagram: http://instagram.com/thepinkparley Want more Lover? Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.com Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter 💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Checkout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter ________________________ Advertising & Other Inquiries: team@loversbyshan.com

What does it really mean to build a relationship outside the rules you were taught? Is it still polyamory if only one person has other lovers? And most importantly, what happens when that dynamic actually works for you? In this honest and eye-opening conversation, multi-disciplinary entertainer, author, and founder of Movement Genius, Alyson Stoner, shares their experience in their polyamorous journey. We dive into the importance of knowing your own capacity for connection, and Alyson’s go-to communication tool: Frequency, Duration, and Intensity. It’s a simple yet powerful way to check in about how often you connect, for how long, and with what level of emotional depth. Even if you’re monogamous, this framework can change the way you relate, helping you set boundaries, stay aligned, and make sure your relationships feel balanced and intentional. Whether you’re curious about polyamory or simply want tools for building healthier, more intentional partnerships, this episode will leave you thinking about love in a whole new way. 🔗 Follow Alyson Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alysonstoner TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@alysonstoner YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@alysonstoner 📚 Preorder Alyson’s new book Semi-Well-Adjusted Despite Literally Everything (Out August 12, 2025) → https://static.macmillan.com/static/smp/semi-well-adjusted-9781250353498/  🧠 Learn more about Movement Genius → https://www.movementgenius.com/ Want more Lover? Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.com Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter 💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Checkout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter

What if “happily ever after” starts and ends with just you? In this bold and expansive episode, Shan dives into The Eartha Kitt Effect—a cultural and emotional awakening inspired by the legendary performer Eartha Kitt, whose unapologetic views on love, compromise, and individuality continue to resonate decades later. This “effect” refers to the growing movement of people, especially women, who are choosing the single life on purpose, not by default. Joining Shan is Dr. Bella DePaulo, renowned social psychologist and author of Single at Heart, to unpack why some of the most fulfilled people are not in romantic relationships—and never want to be. Together, they explore: 🔥 Why Eartha Kitt’s viral interview moment ("Compromise? For what?") sparked a generation of self-partnership 🌱 How choosing not to center romance can lead to deeper personal growth, freedom, and connection 🧠 The science behind happiness in singlehood and the myth of the “incomplete” single person 💔 How media and social norms still stigmatize solo living—and what it looks like to rewrite your own happy ending Eartha’s now-iconic 1982 interview, where she laughs at the idea of compromising for a man, has become a symbol for self-honoring love. Her words echo across social media as more people step into identities that aren’t centered on romantic validation but on personal wholeness. Whether you're single by choice, rethinking long-term relationships, or simply seeking permission to define love your way—this episode is your affirmation. ✨ The Eartha Kitt Effect is here so listen now and ask yourself: What if “happily ever after” starts and ends with you? 🔗 Follow Bella DePaulo:  Website: belladepaulo.com Books: Single at Heart, How We Live Now, and more – Amazon 💞 Want more from Lover?  → Meet Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you: loversbyshan.com → Get a free weekly Love Letter straight to your inbox: Join the newsletter → Join the Lovers Community: loversbyshan.com/community → Try free quizzes + worksheets: Deepen your relationships 📩 For ads or inquiries: team@loversbyshan.com

Does making friends get harder as you get older?  How the hell do I make friends? This episode is a rerun, and it's STILL very accurate.  According to the American Perspective Survey, May 2021, many people are not satisfied with the size of their friendship group. About half of Americans (51 percent) report they are very satisfied or completely satisfied with the number of friends they have. 30 percent say they are only somewhat satisfied, and 17 percent say they are not too or not at all satisfied with the number of friends they have. If you fall in that range of little to no satisfaction in friendships, here’s what you need to know about creating a bond.  So, how long does it take to make a new friend? - 50 hours before you consider them a casual friend  - 90 hours before becoming real friends  - 200hours- before becoming close friends  source: 'Journal of Social and Personal Relationships'  As the New York Times reported in 2012, there are “three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other.” Cultivating emotionally intimate relationships, in other words, takes more work than just compliments. In this episode, I sit down with my friends Krista and Tabia, and we talk about our friendships, the ups, downs, and the work it takes to make them work.  A special thank you to Kamil Lewis, LMF,T, and Danielle Bayard-Jacskon, Bumble Friendship Expert, for lending their expertise on forming friendships.  Follow the guests on this episode: Follow Shan: https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram/ http://tiktok.com/shanboody    / @loversbyshan   Follow Krista:  https://www.instagram.com/itskrista/ https://www.instagram.com/almost30podcast/ Follow Tabia: https://www.instagram.com/tabiacharles/ Follow Danielle Bayard-Jackson https://www.instagram.com/daniellebayardjackson/ https://www.instagram.com/friendforward/ Follow Kamil Lewis, LMFT https://www.instagram.com/kamil.lewis/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/theexpansivegroup/?hl=en https://www.instagram.com/safewordpod/ Advertising & Other Inquiries: team@loversbyshan.com

What if the love story you were chasing… was never really yours? In this episode, actress Miranda Rae Mayo joins Shan to explore the journey of finding love by letting go of the fantasy. Known for her role on Chicago Fire, Miranda opens up about her current relationship and how she had to release the pressure to be “perfect” to experience a real connection. Together, they explore how love doesn’t always look the way we expected, and why exploring non-monogamy challenged (and expanded) her thoughts around love, security, and partnership. 🔗 Follow Miranda Miranda https://www.instagram.com/mrmayo Follow her exclusive project https://www.instagram.com/hereshecomestv/ Want more Lover? Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.com Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter 💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Checkout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter

What does it mean to date and be in relationships in a trauma-informed way? Are you dating from a place of fear instead of self-worth? In this powerful episode, certified dating and relationship coach Anwar White opens up about his personal journey and why emotional safety is the foundation of any healthy relationship. We explore the crucial question: Can you really date men if you're scared of them, or if deep down, you don't even like them? Whether you're recovering from toxic relationships, navigating dating anxiety, or looking to build confidence and emotional security in love, this episode will give you the tools to understand and honor your safety needs. In this powerful and deeply personal episode, dating coach Anwar White joins Shan to talk about what it means to date with emotional and relational safety at the center. Anwar shares his personal story of leaving an unsafe environment as a child alongside his mother, and how that shaped his deep understanding of safety, trust, and partnership. Now, as a coach helping Black and Brown women find aligned, lasting love, Anwar breaks down the realities of trauma-informed dating, co-regulation, and building standards rooted in self-worth. This conversation also explores the ways our early relationships model love for us, and how watching his mother now thrive in a healthy partnership has become part of Anwar’s full-circle healing and success story. 🔗 Follow Anwar https://www.instagram.com/datingcoachanwar Listen to his podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/1PTRAwfi9ZPDF6h4BOWXvj Checkout his services https://getyourguycoaching.com/ Want more Lover? Checkout Shan’s AI trained to give only her advice to you http://loversbyshan.com Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter 💞 Join the Lovers Community: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Checkout free quizzes and worksheets designed to help you deepen your relationships http://loversbyshan.com/newsletter

In this episode, Weezy and Mandii B get real about shedding the pressure to “find the one” and embracing what feels good instead of what looks good on paper, how we need to reverse engineer the way we have casual sex, and how to set yourself up for success while dating and having casual sex. WeezyWTF expands on how sexual liberation goes hand in hand with how you approach and manifest casual sex. Mandii B & Binx open up about surviving sexual assault, and how that experience reshaped their relationships with men in their community. Follow Weezy: @weezywtf Follow Mandii B: @fullcourtpumps Tour Dates: https://nhbtour.com/ Get their book: https://a.co/d/8VY8Tje  Follow Binx: @the_binx Follow Vincent aka Hands of Furey:  Learn more about him: http://www.handsoffurey.com/ Join the community at: loversbyshan.com/community

What if numbness is the hidden wound of high-functioning depression? In this episode, Shan sits down with Dr. Judith Joseph, a board-certified psychiatrist, clinical researcher, and internationally recognized mental health advocate. They dive deep into anhedonia, the loss of pleasure or interest in things that once brought you joy, and how it shows up, especially for those living with high-functioning depression. Dr. Joseph expands on how joy is our birthright and how it connects to our biopsychosocial blueprint. Expect insights on: ✨ How high-functioning depression operates ✨ Why anhedonia is so often overlooked ✨ The three-part psycho-socio-biological model that explains it ✨ How to begin reconnecting with your desire and vitality 👑 Follow Dr. Judith Joseph on Instagram: instagram.com/drjudithjoseph 👥 Join the community: loversbyshan.com/community Sign up to get a free weekly Love Letter from me loversbyshan.com/newsletter

What if the key to better sex isn’t new, but rooted in ancestral knowledge? In this episode, Shan sits down with storyteller, mythologist, and ancient erotica expert Seema Anand to explore the rich, and yes, deeply sexy, history of sexual liberation, and why it's never really been a modern idea. Together, they unpack what it means to reconnect with your desire through ancestry, ritual, and unapologetic self-expression. We talk sex positions (yes, the Kama Sutra makes an appearance), the role of storytelling in the bedroom, and how wearing your desire, literally, can be one of the boldest, most freeing things you do. This conversation even inspired a whole jewelry line. The Kama Collection is a tribute to sensuality, intention, and the art of not hiding your hunger. 👑 Follow Seema Anand on Instagram: @seemaanandstorytelling 🔥 Shop the Kama Collection: surmeyi.com/kama The waist chain designed for being on top The anklet designed for when your legs are in the air The necklace designed for yab yum The earrings designed for riding The choker designed for lotus position The spine chain designed for doggystyle  👥 Join the community: loversbyshan.com/community

Why do fuckboys… fuckboy? In this episode, we dig into the root of it. Just ahead of the release of his new single Permanent Vacation (dropping June 18), genre-bending artist Duckwrth joins Shan for a raw and revealing conversation on why some men detach, ghost, and repeat the cycle. Together, they unpack how fear of commitment, cultural conditioning, and childhood wounds can all contribute to the “Certified Loverboy” identity. Duckwrth opens up about his own evolution—from polyamory and emotional avoidance to developing a deeper sense of self-awareness and desire for real connection. If you’ve ever dated a fuckboy, been affected by one, or are reflecting on your own relationship patterns, this one’s for you. 🎧 Watch the video for Permanent Vacation 💫 Follow Duckwrth on Instagram: @duckwrth 👥 Join the community at: loversbyshan.com/community

Have you ever wondered where your libido went? In this episode we do a deep dive on sexual slumps, low libido and lack of sexual desire that is frustrating (lack of desire that is not frustrating is not a problem!). We get to have this conversation first from the lens of Emmy-winning journalist Tamsen Fadal whose journey with low libido started in perimenopause and peaked on her honeymoon! From hot flashes and brain fog in the newsroom to bedroom low sex drive, Tamsen has become treasured for pulling back the curtain on midlife like never before. In this honest and empowering episode, menopause advocate Tamsen joins Shan for a conversation about menopause, sex drive and embracing life’s shifts. Tamsen shares how a one-word note from her doctor "menopause...?" set off a journey she wasn’t prepared for, and how that diagnosis impacted her body, her identity, and her intimacy. From tough talks with her husband to the quiet shame so many women carry through midlife transitions, Tamsen reminds us that getting older isn’t the end of our sensual selves, it can actually be the beginning. In part two of this episode we are giving you a MasterClass on low libido led by three doctors: OBGYN Dr. Mickey, lifestyle medical physician Dr Lean AND Pelvic Floor expert Dr. Janelle Frederick aka the Vagina Rehab Doctor. This is a highlight of our hour and fifteen convo if you’d like to listen to the rest go to Loversbyshan.com/community  Follow Tamsen on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/tamsenfadal Get her book How to Menopause Listen to her podcast The Tamsen Show Checkout her website https://www.tamsenfadal.com/ 

From fatphobia to racism to ageism and ableism, Kennedy challenges the norms around love, desirability, and who gets to be the “main character.” This one’s for anyone who's ever felt left out of the story — and is ready to take the pen back. Bestselling romance author Kennedy Ryan (Before I Let Go, Reel) sits down with Shan to talk about what happens when women stop shrinking themselves to be chosen. From rewriting the stories we’ve inherited about sex, love, and partnership — to questioning why women with standards get labeled as “too much” Kennedy opens up about what radical self-worth actually looks like, and why romance should always center women’s pleasure. This episode is a love letter to anyone who’s ever been made to feel like they’re asking for too much. Kennedy shares her love story of being married to Sam for over 20 years while raising their autistic son.  This episode is sponsored by Lovers by Shan. Join the community today: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Follow Kennedy on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/kennedyryan1 Get her latest book https://kennedyryanwrites.com/ Get a weekly love letter from me: https://www.loversbyshan.com/newsletter

What kind of stories do we pass down through the way we love? Actor and mom Xosha Roquemore sits down with Shan to talk about sex, self-worth, and how becoming a mother shifted everything. It starts with one question she asked that stopped us both: “Have the kind of sex you’d be proud to tell your daughter about.” We talk about the early messages she got about sex, how sexual coercion showed up in her past, and why that experience still needs more language. She shares a fun one-night stand story and how even casual sex can feel good when it comes from choice, not pressure. Xosha also talks about single motherhood, not as a hardship, but as a privilege. Being a mom has made her sharper, clearer, and way more intentional about who gets access to her. This episode is sponsored by Lovers by Shan. Join the community today! https://www.loversbyshan.com/community Follow Xosha on socials https://www.instagram.com/xoshro/ Get a Weekly Lovers Letter from Me https://www.loversbyshan.com/newsletter

Reclaiming Intimacy: Jessie Woo’s Journey Beyond Trauma. Comedian and media personality Jessie Woo joins Shan for a powerful conversation about healing, love, and rediscovering sexual joy after surviving sexual assault. Jessie shares her painful story of her assault and her joyful story of her relationship with Jay Allen aka Mr Easter. Now Jessie is on the path to reclaiming pleasure and building healthy relationships, offering hope and practical insights for anyone on their own journey of recovery. This episode explores the complexities of intimacy after trauma, the importance of self-love, and why your story doesn’t end with someone else’s actions. At the end of the episode, trauma expert Jimanekia Eborn joins us to discuss why sexual assault is a community issue plus she give her hot take on the Diddy trial and some people’s harmful comments about Cassie.  How do you reclaim love and pleasure after trauma? How do you support survivors in your life? We discuss these questions PLUS we have a free resource for sexual assault survivors and those navigating grief called The Grief Registry. Content Warning: This episode discusses sexual assault and trauma. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is a survivor of sexual assault, resources and support are available. Visit RAINN.org or call 800-656-HOPE. Thank You Jessie Woo https://www.instagram.com/thejessiewoo/ Jess a Couple Things Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmu_OLDekKoPr-TgAY8lYIg Get a Weekly Lovers Letter from Me https://www.loversbyshan.com/newsletter Lovers Community If you’re interested in joining the Lovers community, click here to join the waitlist: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community

Nothing good lasts. Right? In this deeply moving episode, Canadian singer-songwriter Alessia Cara joins Shan Boodram to explore the connection between intimacy, loss, and the fear of death (thanatophobia). Inspired by her song "Subside" from Love and Hyperbole, Alessia opens up about her personal journey with grief and how it shapes the way she loves and creates. Together, they dive into universal questions: How do we hold on to love while letting go of control? How does the fear of loss impact our relationships, intimacy, and even our everyday choices? Esther Perel talks about how desire and loss can sit right next to each other. This made me think about how those ideas show up in everyday relationships: the death of connection, the slow fading of intimacy, or the fear that something we’ve built might not last. When you zoom out, so much of how we attach, how we love, and even how we have sex is shaped by that deeper fear, what happens if I lose this? Or if I lose you? Or if I lose me in this? Thank You Alessia Cara http://alessiacara.com https://www.instagram.com/alessiasmusic https://www.youtube.com/@alessiacara Thanks Dame for sponsoring this episode: Dame makes products designed to enhance intimacy and connection—whether you’re with a partner or flying solo.  http://dame.com/shan Dame Coupon: SHAN15 Join My Mailing List https://www.loversbyshan.com/newsletter Lovers Community If you’re interested in joining the Lovers community, click here to join the waitlist: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community

In this week’s episode, I sit down with Raven-Symoné and her wife Miranda Pearman-Maday for a refreshingly honest conversation about love and what it really takes to sustain a modern relationship. They share why they chose a sleep divorce, and how sleeping separately has deepened their emotional bond, sharpened their communication, and brought them even closer. This episode is a masterclass in emotional maturity and intentional partnership, an invitation to rethink what a healthy marriage can look like in a monogamix relationship.  Thank You Raven & Miranda instagram.com/ravensymone instagram.com/mirandamaday Catch them on Tea Time with Raven & Miranda, a candid, cozy space where they spill everything from relationship realness to spiritual insights. Streaming now on YouTube.

In this week’s episode, I sit down with the legendary Cree Summer to talk about her journey through love, loss, and rediscovery in her 50s. Cree opens up about losing her sex drive during her marriage due to a lack of emotional shelter and the importance of finding a partner who provides safety and calm during life’s storms. We also dive into how her sex drive has improved post-menopause and what she’s looking forward to as she explores love again in her senior years. Whether you’re navigating relationships, rethinking intimacy, or seeking inspiration for your own journey, this conversation is a must-listen. Episode Highlights: Cree’s reflections on her marriage and why emotional shelter is non-negotiable in a relationship How menopause transformed her sex drive and perspective on intimacy The importance of finding a partner who provides safety and positivity Cree’s hopes and expectations for love in her golden years Lessons on emotional security, provision, and rediscovering self-worth The importance of women making the first move and asking men out Thank You Cree Summer instagram.com/iamcreesummer x.com/iamcreesummer https://www.adultswim.com/videos/oh-my-god-yes-a-series-of-extremely-relatable-circumstances Join My Mailing List https://www.loversbyshan.com/newsletter Lovers Community If you’re interested in joining the Lovers community, click here to join the waitlist: https://www.loversbyshan.com/community If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who might need to hear Cree’s powerful story. For more conversations like this, visit LoversByShan.com and join our community for exclusive content, workshops, and more!