Ladies, We Need To Talk

Stand-up star Sashi Perera called off her wedding at the last minute. There were tears and tantrums but that wasn't the final time the lawyer-turned-comedian blew up her life.Moving to a country in the middle of civil unrest? Tick. Dating a series of duds? Tick. Quitting a well-paid job for stand-up comedy? Tick.Sashi's redefined what success means to her through career changes, relationship breakdowns and IVF struggles. Yumi Stynes sits down with Sashi to find out how she's learned to run her own race.What to listen to next:How to give zero f*cks with Gina Chick, Jessie Tu and Anna Broinowski Jessie Tu, on miscarriage and doing motherhood her way Emotional labour with Rose Hackman The price of perfectionism What to read next: The price of perfectionism for womenHow Turia Pitt's body image changed in motherhoodSandy seemingly has a perfect marriage, but she’d never been lonelierYou can binge more episodes of Ladies, We Need to Talk on the ABC listen app (in Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts. This episode contains references to marriage, wedding, runaway bride, comedy, stand-up, dating, Tinder, online dating, shame, depression, mental health, immigrant, immigration, family, IVF, pregnancy, miscarriage, relationships. 

A herpes diagnosis can come with a whole lot of stigma, but it shouldn't. Around 15% of us carry the antibodies to genital herpes, making it one of the most common STIs in Australia.Yumi Stynes finds out what it's like hearing you have herpes for the first time and how to best manage. From itching to tell partners to soothing your symptoms and how to keep sex humming. Plus, STI expert Dr Ellie Freedman explains the science behind the virus and how it changes over time.You might also like:The secret lives of vaginasEsther Perel — how to have a hard conversationThis episode contains references to genital herpes, herpes simplex virus type one, herpes simplex virus type two, antibodies, sexual health, womens health, shame, stigma, mental health, vagina, vulva.

Approaching her 70th birthday, Gail Rice booked herself an appointment with a sex worker. She'd never done anything like it in her life. As a younger woman, Gail had enjoyed a string of sexual and romantic partners. As the years passed, her sexual currency dwindled and she was hungry for intimacy. But exchanging money for sex taught Gail much more about herself than she was expecting. This is a story about erotic power, ageing and finding the courage to ask for what you want. You might also like:Loneliness – you're not alone Sugar babies – dating men for money This episode contains references to sex work, escort, ageing, older Australians, older women, eroticism, sex, orgasm, erotic massage, people pleasing, gender, orgasm gap, relationships, monogamy, dating apps, online dating.  Correction: this episode describes Gail Rice approaching Mitch's escort agency for a refund. However, Gail contacted Mitch directly and got him to agree to a refund.

Ozempic has entered the group chat. Since GLP-1 agonist drugs burst onto the scene, they've been hailed as a weight-loss game changer, but they've also raised uncomfortable questions about what bodies are acceptable, or not.For years, the body inclusivity movement pushed back against the idea that only thin bodies can be 'healthy' but Ozempic & co are drowning out this message.So, what do these drugs mean for fat liberation? And how can we shift our collective thinking around weight and morality?Yumi Stynes chats to a panel of amazing women about the impact of this new generation of weight-loss drugs and how we can all find ways to be kinder to our bodies.Featured in this conversation:Dr Emma Beckett, nutritionistEvie Gardiner, size inclusivity advocateNat Atkinson, Mum, taking WegovyYou might also like:The Ozempic eraI'm fat, don't hate me—Aubrey GordonFat talkThis episode contains references to fat, fatphobia, weight stigma, Ozempic, Wegovy, Mounjaro, GLP-1 agonists, semaglutide, obesity, diet, diet culture, women, body image, self-esteem, bullying, weight loss, Serena Williams.

Having blah sex? You've CUM to the right place.Dr Emily Nagoski has the tools for you.The renowned sex educator and author of Come as You Are, Burnout and Come Together brings the wisdom of psychology and sex research to the fore. She chats with Yumi Stynes about the science behind our sex drives and how we can bring back the chutzpah in the bedroom. (R)You might also like:Is everyone having better sex than me?https://bit.ly/4okf9LOPerimenopause: how to have better sexhttps://ab.co/47bAC3sThis episode contains references to sex, long-term relationships, marriage, libido, sex drive, heterosexual relationships, queer, gender, mental load. 

Unrelenting standards, high expectations and a fierce, reprimanding inner critic. Perfectionism is often celebrated, but striving for flawlessness comes at a cost. There’s lots of ways we, as women feel pressure to be perfect: be the perfect partner, the perfect mother, have the perfect body. But, of course, perfectionism is always out of reach. So, how can we learn to be kinder to ourselves and let go, even just a little?  Yumi Stynes meets women whose perfectionism has consumed their lives. She learns what happens when a perfectionist f*cks up, and how to recover. Plus, clinical psychologist Eileen Seah shares tips on how we can all accept our imperfect selves.  You might also like:  Anxious? We got youPenny Moodie’s OCDThis episode contains references to perfectionism, procrastination, anxiety, depression, relationships, parenting, striving, IVF, fertility, career, eating disorders, self-criticism, psychology, therapy. 

Hannah Diviney never saw herself reflected in pop culture. And she definitely didn't see herself as the object of desire. Growing up with cerebral palsy, Hannah watched on as rom-coms and teen dramas depicted able-bodied bombshells fall in love, snog their guts out and have sex. All these experiences, it seemed, were out of reach for her. It meant that Hannah had the demanding job of being her own role model. She had to be the change she wanted to see.You might also like: Sex and the D wordYour sex and disability storiesThis episode contains references to: dating, relationships, disability, sex, sex scenes, television, entertainment industry, fear, anxiety, body image, Beyonce, Lizzo, Latecomers. 

Have you ever experienced 'the ick'? It's that sudden, visceral feeling of being put off by someone you're dating. Maybe it's their flat cap, the way they chew, or how they laugh.Stories of the ick are prolific online, but it leaves us with a question — what causes it?To separate red flags from disgust, we get into the psychology of the ick — why you might feel icky, if it should be a deal breaker, and what it says about your own attachment style.This episode comes from our science friends at All in the Mind.You might also like:Quitting men: Hope Woodard's 'boysober' movementHannah Ferguson's case against hookup sexThis episode contains references to: dating, relationships, evolutionary psychology, disgust, break up, situationship, love, conflict, couples.

'Bounce back' culture can find someone else to pick on, we're celebrating bodies who've given birth.And this episode isn't just for the mums. It's for everyone who's ever felt the bod they were given this earth to roam in isn't good enough.Yumi Stynes meets women who've fought the insidious pressures on mums' bodies and found a new appreciation for themselves.Featuring: burns survivor and author Turia Pitt, founder of the Australian Birth Stories podcast Sophie Walker, body image researcher Dr Zali Yager and mum of two Tegan Russell.You might also like: Body ImageBirth traumaLove your boobsThis episode contains references to: body image, eating disorders, birth, baby, motherhood, parenting, stretch marks, weight gain, weight loss, bounce back, diet, diet culture, children, self love, prolapse, child birth, Australian Birth Stories podcast.

Emotional labour is the overlooked cousin of the mental load. It's managing the feelings of people around us, from being a shoulder to cry on to cheering on your colleagues. Taking the time to check in on relatives and making sure the fridge is stocked with everyone's favourite foods. Emotional labour is invisible yet vital work that falls more heavily on women.Journalist Rose Hackman reckons it's time women are recognised, and even compensated for this emotional output. Rose chats to Yumi Stynes about how this form of labour underpins our homes, relationships and workplaces, and how we can be more selective about where we put our efforts.You might also like:Solving the mental loadBeating burnoutThis episode contains references to: gender roles, parenting, motherhood, orgasm gap, sex, mental load, caring, fatigue, burnout.

Welcome to the world of swingers, where the libidos are high but so are the stakes. Join Yumi Stynes as she heads to a swinger's club and learns what it takes to open up a relationship without breaking trust. Meet the women in the swinging scene and find out what they get out of it (besides the orgasms).This episode will change the way you think about swinging, and maybe even re-frame your approach to intimacy. (R)You might also like:What we need men to know about sexHow to have great sexThis episode contains references to: sex, swinging, intimacy, couples, marriage, open relationships, LGBT, threesome, unicorns communication.

When Jamila Rizvi was dealing with the emotional sucker punch of a brain tumour diagnosis, she needed a friend who understood what she was going through. Enter, writer and comedian Rosie Waterland. Rosie knows what it's like to live with a broken brain. A childhood marked by abuse and trauma has left her struggling with complex PTSD throughout her adulthood.Rosie and Jamila have very different illnesses but lots in common. They chat with Yumi Stynes about how the world views physical and mental illness differently, the lasagne sympathy scale and keeping on keeping on when there's no cure in sight.Please note, this episode contains discussion of suicide.Listen back:Jamila Rizvi—when life doesn’t go to planRosie Waterland's mum died. She’s kind of relievedHelpful links:Lifeline 13 11 14Brain Tumour Alliance AustraliaSANE AustraliaThis episode contains references to: chronic illness, brain tumour, depression, PTSD, trauma, relationships, grief, loss, carer, caring, mental health and suicide.

Does your partner feel more like a housemate than a lover? Have you lost your spark in the overflowing laundry basket? Resentment got you snarking at each other? Get yourself to the relationship ER! If things are flatlining and you want your partnership to survive, there are treatment options.Yumi Stynes meets women who have brought their relationships back from the dead. Plus, sex and relationships therapist, Toya Ricci shares advice on how to build healthier, long-lasting connections.This episode contains references to: sex therapy, relationship therapy, marriage difficulty, marriage sabbatical, relationship sabbatical, intermission, infidelity, couples counselling, parenting, mental load, mental health.

A morning phone call from her doctor confirmed Jessie Tu's worst fears. She'd lost the baby she was carrying. Jessie and her partner had tried for months to get pregnant, and the news sparked a specific kind of grief she hadn't encountered before.The daughter of Taiwanese immigrants, Jessie was raised with the idea that discipline and hard work gets you results. But this was a test she couldn't ace.Jessie's path to pregnancy and loss made her confront questions about what it means to be a family and the sacrifices that mothers are expected to bear.She shares her complicated relationship with fertility in this tender conversation with Yumi Stynes.Jessie Tu is the author of The Honeyeater and A Lonely Girl is a Dangerous Thing.Helpful links:Miscarriage AustraliaThe Pink Elephants Support networkGidget FoundationRed Nose Grief and LossLifelineThis episode contains references to: pregnancy loss, miscarriage, fertility, parenting, relationships, babies, grief, family, motherhood, womanhood, feminism, mental health.

Fillers, Botox, and injectables — they're everywhere! There was a time when getting needles in your face was a big deal. But these days, getting a 'tweakment' is as easy-peasy as getting a mani pedi.It's not just 69-year-old Kris Jenner who looks like a teenager now. Your hairdresser, barista, and the mums at the school gate are doing a Benjamin Button.In this episode, Yumi Stynes chats to women who have regular cosmetic jabs to find out their motivations. Plus, Dr Jasmine Fardouly from the University of Sydney explains how Instagram is pushing us towards the clinics.This episode contains references to: Botox, filler, tweakments, cosmetic procedures, facials, beauty industry, ageing, old, beauty standards, filter, Instagram, Tiktok, social media, body image.

In a sex saturated world, it's easy to think that everyone's having hotter, kinkier, more interesting sex than you are. But are they really?Yumi Stynes gathers together sex therapist, Georgia Grace, author Alyx Gorman and comedian Alex Lee for an urgent group chat unpacking what it means to have a satisfying sex life and why comparisons to others are a boner killer.This episode contains references to sex, marriage, orgasm gap, orgasm, lesbian, masturbation, queerness, relationships, sex positivity, sex toys, therapy, children, libido, divorce.

Your parents are elderly. Your kids need you. And it's up to you to tend to the needs of everyone. Welcome to the sandwich generation.The bad news is you'll be wading through a ton of logistical, financial and medical obstacles while watching your folks decline. The good news is you're not alone.Join Yumi Stynes in meeting two women doing their best in the middle of a sandwich, with some tips on getting your sh*t together before everything falls apart. Plus, clinical psychologist Nasalifya Namwinga has the goods on how to deal emotionally.Helpful links:Carers AustraliaThe Violet InitiativeWe want to know what you want to hear more of, take our audience survey:https://forms.office.com/r/R5uACN6GWU

Coffee enemas? Healing jade yoni eggs? Raw milk? No, nope, nup. Dr Jen Gunter is calling bullsh*t on the internet's wellness industry.Dr Gunter is on a crusade against disinformation. As a gynaecologist and internationally renowned women's health expert, she calls out influencers promoting harmful treatments and nonsense supplements for profit. And she's not afraid to take on Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop and vaginal steaming products in the process. Join Yumi Stynes as she gets a lesson in how to spot a fake, the danger of wellness charlatans, the link between wellness influencers and conspiracy theories, and what's really good for our bodies.    This episode contains references to Goop, Gwyneth Paltrow, misinformation, Alex Jones, women’s health, abortion, Donald Trump, wellness industry, social media, natural health, organic therapies, alternative therapies, peer reviewed research, disinformation, conspiracy theories. 

Loneliness hurts. And we know it's bad for us, worse than smoking or obesity. Even though a third of us are lonely, we're embarrassed to say so. So, what would happen if we talked about our loneliness openly? And how can we build more meaningful connections?Yumi Stynes speaks to women who are lonely, one within a marriage and one hoping to find a partner, to understand the toll it can take. Plus, psychologist Dr Bella Ingram shares tips on how we can insulate ourselves from the chill of being lonely.Helpful links:Ending Loneliness ReportBeyond BlueLifeline 13 11 14This episode contains references to marriage, friendship, relationships, loneliness, anxiety, depression, mental health, alcohol, substance use, community. 

Do you need to pee at all hours of the day? Pelvic floor got you down? Are things a getting saggy down there like like a rogue bit of pizza dough or like Gary Oldman's face?There are some medical reasons why you might need to constantly rush to the loo, but the good news is in most cases your bladder is deconditioned, and you need to get your urinary tract back into ship-shape form.Tegan Taylor and Noman Swan, hosts of What's That Rash podcast are here to help!