Ladies, We Need To Talk

There aren't many people on your Instagram feed who are as loved and as loathed as Abbie Chatfield.Ever since Abbie shot to fame as the slut-shamed villain on The Bachelor Australia in 2019, she's been a public and controversial figure who's hard to look away from.Five years and almost 500K followers later, Abbie's built an empire on sharing her trauma dumps, UTIs, political rants and sexcapades.Abbie's openness has earnt her lots of fans but it's also made her the target of sexist and violent online threats.So how does this former real-estate girly from Brissy manage living a life in the spotlight while staying sane in the real world?

What if your man has another, equally important woman in his life: his mum?For some sons, the aprons strings are tied so tight, it’s impossible to compete with mummy. She’s his number one fan, dotes on him and interferes in his life, including his relationships. It’s not sexy.So, can a mama’s boy ever reform and stand on their own two feet in a relationship? Or will you always come off second best?Yumi Stynes and Jess McGuire lay down the law when it comes to being with a mama’s boy. Hint: they must be able to do their own washing. 

As we get older, wiser, more resilient, and better placed to back seat drive, the world does not reward us. Or our grey hair.If the advances of human progress can make a potato chip taste like a beef rendang curry, why are women still, after all this time and progress, so judged by the way we look?The Australasian College of Cosmetic Surgery estimates Australians spend around $1 billion a year on cosmetic procedures. We're talking facelifts, tummy tucks, brow lifts, neck lifts, rhinoplasties, breast implants. And the training bras of plastic surgery, Botox and fillers.So if we're spending so much money on looking young, are we complicit in society's obsession with youth?Women, young and old, tell us their stories of what drew them under the knife (or needle) while dermatologist Dr Ritu Gupta, marketing expert Karen Ferry, make-up artist Linda Jefferyes and beauty editor Cecily-Anna Bennett help to make sense of how we got here.This episode is one of the best from the grand cathedrals of the Ladies, We Need to Talk archives.Note: Karen Ferry is now an Advertising Executive Creative Director, no longer at Leo Burnett.

Aubrey Gordon is a fat woman. She's not on a diet or trying to get thinner and that pisses some people off, but she's done apologising.This self-acceptance has been hard fought. All her life, Aubrey has had to swallow comments about her size from strangers and family alike. Like all of us, she was force-fed the idea that there is only one ideal body: a thin one.Aubrey's resistance started with her blog, Your Fat Friend, where she wrote about what it's like to live in the world as a fat person and dared to suggest that fat people deserve the same rights as everyone else. The blog touched a nerve, giving a voice to people who had been silenced and launched Aubrey’s public career.Aubrey is the co-host of the Maintenance Phase podcast, which calls bullshit on the so-called wellness industry. Oh, and she has a laugh that fills up the room.Yumi and Aubrey talk about anti-fat bias, online hate and the myth of the perfect body.

You're on a date and there's a spark, the chat is great, the vibes are flowing. But come the time to disrobe, all that potential sexual brilliance comes crashing down. They're a dud root. So what on earth do you do if you've got a connection with someone, but they're not rocking your socks off? How do you have a conversation about what you like, without hurting their feelings? And can you ever turn a jackhammer into a magical orgasm wand? Yumi Stynes and sex therapist Aleks Trkulja get under the sheets and figure out how to communicate your way to the pleasure palace.

The Other Woman. The bit on the side. Side hoe. She's the biggest villain of them all. She's probably younger, hotter and she's left the girl-code far behind, because THAT woman is stealing your man, girl. So, who is 'the other woman' and what's driving her towards married men anyway? In this episode, Yumi sits down with women dating men who are teken and finds out how they navigate their own messy relationships and emotions.

Jill Stark spent most of her life defined by alcohol. Either as a hard-drinking party girl, spurred on by a culture of drinking as a journalist, or as the poster child for sobriety, trapped by a public identity that revolved around abstinence. Yumi and Jill talk about her journey to genuine sobriety on her own terms, and how she has learned who she is without booze.   Resources:National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline1800 250 015 Alcoholics Anonymous: https://aa.org.au/1300 222 222 Hello Sunday Morning https://hellosundaymorning.org/Lifeline13 11 14 

We’re all about labia love here at Ladies, but it seems that some women are less than enthusiastic about their lower lips. So what’s the real deal on the labiaplasty? Will cosmetic surgery really help restore the labia love to those who just aren’t feeling it? Yumi is here to unpack the problems with our flaps and give us the low-down on the down-there surgery.  

Tick, tock, tick, tock... can you hear that? It’s your biological clock and it’s about to blow! For some, deciding whether to have a baby isn’t just about fertility, it’s also about weighing up whether becoming a parent is the path best taken.  Never fear, Yumi Stynes has perched herself behind the mic to hold your hand and navigate this tricky time-bomb. 

At 31, Jamila Rizvi’s life changed forever. The discovery of a rare brain tumour knocked the ass-kicking, over-achieving media advisor and young mum sideways.  Jamila had two rounds of brain surgery, followed by radiation, and now lives with chronic health conditions. She’s had to re-map what life looks like and let go of the idea that she can control what lies ahead. Despite the challenges, Jamila’s found strength in herself and by leaning on those closest to her. In this episode, Jamila and Yumi dig into the wisdom that comes from being dealt one of life’s curve balls.   

We all have days when we look in the mirror and think “who is that hideous moll staring back at me??” But what if those days are constant and you feel like a loser in the attractiveness lottery?  Let’s face it, being hot is a social currency and the pressure to look a certain way as a woman is constant. So how can we let go of the ideal beauty standard (whatever that is on a given day) and learn to love the image looking back at us?  Yumi Stynes is here with her gal pals Myf Warhurst and Zan Rowe to cut through the bull crap and help you embody your smoking self.  

Perimenopause can be bad for your health. It’s not just the physical symptoms like weight gain, insomnia, exhaustion and loss of sex drive that can knock women sideways, the mental health impacts can be immense as well. Hormone fluctuations during this period can lead to mood swings, anxiety, brain fog and depression. To make matters worse, these symptoms are often misdiagnosed and mistreated.  Help is at hand though! Yumi Stynes becomes an honourary member of the club and gets the 411 on all things perimenopause and mental health.  Featured in this episode: Professor Jayashri Kulkarni, director of Monash University’s Health Education Research Centre Lifeline: 13 11 14   Menopause Friendly AustraliaHER Centre Australia

Have you ever had a sexual dry spell? And when we say dry, we mean years and years. Getting naked and doing the bedroom rodeo with another person can be daunting at the best of times, but especially if it’s been such a long time you’re worried you may have forgotten how to ride the horse.  Anxieties begin to take over...Will everything work like it used to? What if they don’t like my body? And what if the dog walks in?  So, how can you break the dry spell and get back in the saddle? Yumi Stynes and Jess McGuire strip bare and give no-holds-barred advice on how to reclaim your sexual power after a long absence.  

In life, there are a lot of random rules women stick to. One of them is not telling loved ones about a pregnancy until after the first trimester. But why???The answer is more often than not, miscarriage.  

Being in love feels so damn good, right? But what if you fall so deeply into your relationship, you start to forget who you are?