Ladies, We Need To Talk

Sex, heath, relationships: frank, funny, furious. Join host Yumi Stynes as she rips open the sealed section on life. Ladies, We Need to Talk goes deep on the personal stuff that's hard to talk about, even with your closest mates. From the wonders of our vulvas to managing the mental load to the search for orgasms and much more! With sensitivity, personal stories, and serious smarts, this show is for women who feel the squeeze between work, their private life, and their pelvic floor.

Adult Virgins

We live in a sex obsessed world, where hook-up culture is king and getting laid out like a spatchcocked chicken is a status symbol. But what if you’re a fully-fledged adult, paying your own bills and you’re still a “virgin”? Some women might hold off having sex for the first time because they want to meet the “right” person, others because they haven’t had the opportunity or are waiting until marriage. Whatever the reason, it can feel lonely and isolating when there so much noise around sex.  Yumi Stynes talks to women who haven’t yet had sex, either by choice or circumstance and to another who waited to have sex for over 40 years, until she met her perfect person. We love hearing from you! Send us an email or a voice note to ladies@abc.net.auFeatured in this episode:Amanda McCracken, writer on love and limerence

04-29
31:31

INTRODUCING - our most intimate season ever

Are you a card-carrying virgin? Know what it's like to be the other woman? Horny as hell and can’t get enough? Ladies, We Need To Talk is back and we’re going deep! This season we’ll be meeting the truly gorgeous women who are eager to have sex for the very first time, but for whatever reason haven’t met the perfect person yet.  You’ll find out about the mysteries of PCOS and why it’s one of the leading causes of infertility. And we’ll hear from the women who are horny with a capital H, and we can’t get enough of it! Also, for the first time ever we’re going weekly baby! With our new, spicy and short episodes of Ladies, We Need To Talk...Back! Your favourite hot Aunty Yumi will be dishing out her no-holds-barred advice on everything from slovenly partners and squishy vaginas and serious mum guilt.  The Ladies, We Need To Talk team love getting your messages so please get in touch at ladies@abc.net.auFollow Ladies, We Need To Talk hosted by Yumi Stynes on the ABC Listen App and your fave podcast apps now so you never miss an episode, oh, and tell don’t forget to tell ALL your girls about us. 

04-22
02:48

Pongy vagina

Uh oh, what’s that you smell... a funky odour down below? The thought of having a stinky crotch is nightmare fuel for some women, but do we even need to worry about our musky bouquet?  The delicate aroma of our lady-garden can be affected by things like our menstrual cycle and our lifestyle but how do we tell when the stank goes from normal to full on malodorous pudenda territory and what can be done about it?  It’s time to take off those undies and confront the smelly minge in the room with your bestie Yumi by your side for support.  Featured in this episode:  Deborah Bateson, Professor of Practice and an expert in sexual health at the University of Sydney Sarah O'Neill, comedian  

11-27
27:48

Staying for the money

What happens when you want a divorce but the cost of leaving your marriage would cripple you financially?  Would you ever stay in an unhappy marriage for the security money offers?  It’s no secret, life is bloody expensive right now. From soaring rents to the cost of a bunch of broccoli, times are tough! So, sticking it out in a relationship you’re no longer happy in can seem appealing.  Yumi Stynes talks to women who’ve had to make that extremely difficult choice.  Featured in this episode:  Victoria Devine, host of She’s on the Money Emily Maguire, CEO of Respect Victoria Rachel Voysey, Founding Director of the Relationship Room Some names have been changed to protect identities Life Line: 13 11 141800 Respect: 1800 737 732

11-13
26:51

Clementine Ford on the case against marriage

What if we put a stop to marriage...for good? Like, just stop with flouncy white dresses, walking down the aisle and having a dude give us away.  In her new book, I Don’t, Clementine Ford is calling for just that. She reckons that a ring on a finger is a bridal march to losing your identity. From the moment we come screaming into the world, we’re pushed the line that to find “the one” to get married and settle down is the be all and end all. You might discover a cure for cancer, scale Mt Everest and be a total baddie but if you’re unwed you haven't quite made it in the eyes of society. Clem Ford talks to Yumi Stynes about her call to arms for us to ditch the bouquets and our man's dirty laundry for a life on our own terms. Featured in this episode: Clementine Ford, author and feminist   

10-30
26:04

BEST OF - Pelvic flaw in all of us

Do you wizz when you sneeze? Or avoid star jumps at the gym? One in four of us (!) have pelvic floor problems which can lead to incontinence and prolapse (eek). But don’t stress! Yumi Stynes has kegel’d her way back to the Ladies archives and dug up some reassurance that you can definitely turn things around. Just be prepared to clench. 

10-16
29:30

Falling for a narcissist

You think you’ve met “the one” and they seem totally perfect for you, but is it all too good to be true? Could you be dating a narcissist?  What starts out as a dreamy relationship filled with fancy presents and compliments galore, suddenly turns sour and you’re left wondering if you’re slowly losing your mind.  Narcissists make up only 1% of the population but the impact they have on the women who date them can be truly devastating.  Yumi Stynes meets women who have fallen in love with a narcissist and uncovers the psychology behind their charm.  Featured in this episode:  Tamara Cavenett, clinical psychologist  Some names have been changed to protect identities Life Line: 13 11 141800 Respect: 1800 737 732

10-02
29:48

Sober sex

Having sex can be exposing, nerve wracking. When we strip down, we reveal ourselves – and not just our bits. No wonder we sometimes reach for courage in a bottle.  For some women, a few shots can make them feel comfortable enough to go home with that hottie from across the bar, for others the relationship between alcohol and sex can be more toxic.  Yumi Stynes chats to women who are putting the lid back on the bottle and embarking on sex...stone cold sober.  Featured in this episode:  Tawny Lara, author of Dry Humping  Faye Lawrence, grey area drinking coach 

09-18
29:44

BEST OF - Love letter to our friends

Yumi has been on an adventure down to the depths of the ABC archives to uncover an absolute banger of an episode.  On every form you ever fill out, there’s always a tick box about your romantic status — de facto, married, single. Why are we only judged on romantic relationships rather than some of the most important bonds in our life — our friendships? In this love letter to our friends, Yumi Stynes invites herself into the joyful friendship between Jamila Rizvi and Clare Bowditch and celebrates the deep platonic love we can only get from our besties. 

09-04
31:23

Solo mums by choice

Is the soundtrack to your life a ticking baby-making clock?  What if you’re desperate to be a mother but the other half of the baby-making equation just hasn’t become available? Yumi Stynes meets women who have given the middle finger to the idea of the nuclear family and become solo mums by choice. From swiping for sperm; turkey-basting and solo sleep deprivation – find out what it’s really like to choose to parent on your own.  Featured in this episode: Alexandra Collier – Author of Inconceivable Dr Karin Hammarberg - Senior Research Fellow, Monash University

08-21
32:57

Emily Nagoski on sex in long term relationships

If you’re having trouble getting hot for your long-term partner? You’re not alone. Domestic bliss, smelling our partner’s farts, demanding kids – it feels like it’s all part of a worldwide conspiracy to shrivel our sex drive. So come hang with Yumi Stynes and sex nerd Emily Nagoski to get some practical advice on how to brush off the cobwebs, bring back our lady-boners and actually want to have sex with our life mate again. Featured in this episode: Emily Nagoski PhD – Sex researcher and author of books, Come As You Are; Burnout and Come Together

08-07
31:33

BEST OF - To pube or not to pube

Yumi Stynes has pinched the keys to the ABC podcast dungeon and has pulled out her absolute fave episodes for you. Are you team Dolphin or team Pubus Maximus? Pubic hair — it's one of the most scrutinised patches of hair on our bodies. Research says 80 per cent of women groom their Map of Tassie regularly. But why do we feel the need to pluck, shave, scrape, or zap our pubes at all? Yumi Stynes find out the meaning behind our pubey grooming choices. Featured in this episode:  Mona Chalabi - Data journalist  Maeve Marsden - Podcaster  Christina Zheng – Comedian 

07-24
30:55

Sex in a fat bod

Getting naked in front of someone you’re about to get down and dirty with is a really vulnerable thing to do for even the most confident among us.  But what about when you’ve spent your whole life being told your body isn’t desirable or sexy?  And those messages are hitting you from everywhere. From television, movies, strangers on the street and even from the very people who are supposed to be into you.  That’s the reality for a lot of women living in fat bodies out there, so how do you say a big F*** you to that narrative and start having great sex?  Two hot, fat babes, Bec Shaw and April Hélène-Horton got together with Yumi Stynes for a no-holds barred DNM to chat about all things sex. Featured in this episode: Bec Shaw – writer and podcaster April Hélène-Horton aka The Bodzilla – advocate and activist 

07-10
25:10

Female rage – why are we so damn angry?

Do you scream foul obscenities at bad drivers? Chuck your phone violently on the bed when seething? Heard “that time of the month?” when you’re furious? Babes, you’re not alone.  Women are foaming at the mouth with fury and we’re screaming at the top of our lungs. From the mental load to workplace bullying; sexism and just the patriarchy in general plus - HORMONES - there’s a hell of a lot to be ticked off about.  Grab your safety gear and come smash some stuff with Yumi Stynes as she releases her fury with a baseball bat. Who knew destruction could be so cathartic? Featured in this episode:  Dr Chelsea Watego – Professor of Indigenous Health at QUT’s School of Public Health and Social Work. Dr Jayashri Kulkarni - Professor in Women's Mental Health. Psychiatrist and Director of Monash University’s Health Education Research Centre. Dr Liz Summerell – Postdoctoral researcher at the University of New South Wales School of Psychology studying anger, aggression, and humility.

06-26
25:45

Esther Perel on Intimacy

So you hugged a workmate having a rough time – is that intimacy? Locked eyes and shared a giggle with a stranger in a spin class – does that count as intimacy? You just had some hook up sex – was it intimate?  Here at Ladies HQ, we want to know: What even is intimacy? And when we think we're craving sex is what we are actually wanting, intimacy?  (Lucky) Yumi Stynes gets up close and personal with Esther Perel (IRL!) about the importance of intimacy how we can all enjoy a bit more connection with others.  Featured in this episode: World renowned relationship psychotherapist; host of Where Should We Begin and How’s Work podcasts and creator of Where Should We Begin the Game, Esther Perel. 

06-12
42:11

Choking during sex – can it ever be safe?

You're horny. You're hooking up. It's hot and heavy. Then, a hand makes its way to your throat… wait WTF? Yup. Choking during sex has hit the mainstream.Choking was once the kinda thing you'd only come across in the world of BDSM, but now thanks to our easy access to porn it's literally everywhere and young women are in its grip.A recent study discovered almost 60 per cent of female college students have been choked during sex, with a quarter having been choked by the time they're 17.Yumi Stynes finds out why some women love to be choked during sex and talks to others who aren't so enamoured with it.Some names have been changed to protect identities.Life Line: 13 11 141800 Respect: 1800 737 732Featured in this episode: Dr Debby Herbenick - Professor at Indiana University’s School of Public Health, sexuality researcher, educator and author of Yes, Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today's Teens and SexAleks Trkulja – Sex therapist at The Pleasure Centre 

05-29
30:12

Heartbreak — why does it feel so bloody awful?

Are you guilty of compulsively stalking your ex on socials whilst ugly crying and eating ice cream out of the carton? Join the club baby. The soul-shattering, unbridled agony of a devastating break-up, is something we tend to avoid really letting ourselves feel. The most we might get from our mates is "get back on the apps babe, there are plenty more fish in the sea".Even though it’s a universal experience, heartbreak sits in the domain of teenage girls writing in their diaries rather than being taken seriously as a mental and physical ailment. Yumi Stynes talks to heartbroken women about how they’re stitching their hearts back into their chests after being tortuously ripped out. Get in touch with your stories of heartbreak and how you made it through: ladies@abc.net.au Featured in this episode:  Jessie Stephens, podcaster and author of Heartsick.Alice Haddon, counselling psychologist and founder of The Heartbreak Hotel

05-15
29:09

INTRODUCING — our most brutally honest season yet

Had your heart pulverised?  Been choked during sex? Is your partner a narcissist? Ladies is back and we’re going there. 

05-08
02:38

Our Fear of farting

Even though we all crack a turd whistle once in a while, it doesn't mean we're not ashamed of the noises and smells that erupt from our bums, especially if it happens in public. And according to research, women hold that shame more deeply and are judged more harshly for their eruptions than men. Yumi Stynes sniffs out how we can disperse the cloud of shame around women and farting.  Featured in this episode:  Professor Clare Collins, Laureate Professor in Nutrition and Dietetics at the University of Newcastle .Dr Kirsten Bell, Professor of Social Anthropology, University of Roehampton  Additional production: Kelly Ung & Yimeng Hu  

11-07
28:42

Clean eating

Search #cleaneating on social media, and you'll come across over 50 million posts. Vegan, paleo, raw, protein shakes, juice cleanses, gluten-free, dairy-free, chia seeds… all of these things, social media and diet culture will tell us, are the types of foods we should be putting into our bodies.   These diets offer the promise of perfect health and the perfect body…But for some they tip over into unhealthy obsession.  Yumi Stynes discovers what happens when food choices stop being about "yuk" and "yum" and become a battle between good and evil. When clean eating tips over the wafer-thin line into Orthorexia Nervosa.   Featured in this episode: Dr Gemma Sharp, Clinical Psychologist and Head of Body Image research at Monash University 

10-24
32:00

G DeA

Geez. I am almost 60, just met a new man and I have an appointment tomorrow to get lasered... I have never had my crotch layered or waxed but always trimmed. I would rather not remove my hair but have to admit that the porn industry has done a huge disservice to women and even men my age or older expect no or little hair. I am waaayyy too old to squat over a mirror, so off I go to spend 600 dollars I really don't have to submit to societal pressures. sux.

10-21 Reply

Bridie Laffey

This was quite a hard podcast to listen to. such a big sacrifice

10-05 Reply

Michelle Condran

Thank you ladies, i really enjoy your podcast but was wondering if you could look at storties that cover infertility and Gynaecology cancers

01-17 Reply

Fiona Smith

my favorite podcast, so funny and informative 😄 😀

09-08 Reply

Keira Dooley

You shouldn't have children if you're not willing to accept and love them for who they are. The parents should be utterly ashamed of themselves.

09-02 Reply

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