Leave Laugh Love

We may have left the Church, but we’re still laughing and loving! Join your hosts Evelyn and Veronica as we chat about life after high-control Catholicism.

65. Happy New Year! December Deconstruction, Advent Edition

Join Veronica for a chat about deconstructing in December with all the complicated feelings that Advent and Christmas bring when you've been deconstructing. Here's some links to resources on the holiday season. While these articles are all targeted to the LGBTQ+ community, I hope they might be helpful even if you are straight and cisgender!- 8 Queer Tips to Get Through the Holidays - Queer Theology- Going Home for the Holidays - The Trevor Project - 5 Holiday Tips for LGBTQ+ People in Recovery - The Center - Making It Through the Holidays as an LGBTQ+ Person - SFGMC ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠order a candle here!leave laugh love on Apple Podcasts: https://bit.ly/4owQNOileave laugh love on Spotify: https://bit.ly/3WWIXlfleave laugh love on Instagram:   / leavelaughlovepod  support us on Patreon!   / leavelaughlovepod  #leavelaughlove #catholicism #fundamentalism #deconstruction

12-07
28:30

64. straight as the default hurts the church too

Today we unpack compulsory heterosexuality (“comphet”)—how church culture, gender scripts, and fear of exclusion pushed us to date men, plan marriages, and mistake deep friendship for attraction. We share the slow, messy process of naming queerness, the survival calculus of staying in community, and why silence around sexuality harms everyone—including the Church. From youth group purity talk to adult deconstruction, this is a candid look at desire, honesty, and building a life that actually fits.00:00 Small Group: Rose and Thorn02:10 Understanding Compulsory Heterosexuality06:30 Struggles with Identity and Relationships24:05 The Impact of Conversion Therapy29:22 Struggles with Sexuality and Church Teachings31:36 Mental Health Risks for Queer Individuals in the Church44:03 Historical and Social Context of Queer Relationships46:31 Critique of Church's Stance on Sexuality53:09 Conversion Therapy and Its Rejection01:00:32 Support from Other Faith Communities

11-23
01:03:03

63. Theos Bros & Church Girlies (ft. Cade Bradley @GayExTrad)

Evelyn, Veronica, and Cade compare the wildly different messages men and women receive in Catholic spaces—porn-and-purity men’s talks vs. dignity-and-modesty women’s talks—then track how those scripts shape deconstruction, dating, and identity. From Theo-bro debate culture to confession-as-streaks, “feminine genius” to closeting strategies, we unpack power, fear, and why over-intellectualizing feelings keeps people stuck—and how to get free.00:00 Small Group02:05 Gendered Experiences in Catholicism05:47 Men's Emotional Expression and Social Dynamics13:26 Purity Culture and Confession26:12 Social Hierarchies and Virtue in Catholic Circles38:36 Catholic Ideals and Sexuality49:43 Experiences of Queer Women in the Church59:01 Challenges of Dating in Catholic Culture01:01:05 Over-Intellectualizing Catholic Teachings01:07:08 Autism and Hyperfixations in Religious Contexts

11-16
01:15:50

62. Leaving High-Control Religion: Making New Meaning (ft. Cherie @canceledchristian)

We sit down with Cherie - aka “The Canceled Christian” - to unpack life inside high-control evangelical spaces: homeschooling, purity culture, and rules at Pensacola Christian College, plus the cracks that formed during 2020 and after Dobbs. Cherie shares how she and her husband deconstructed together, why empathy (not outrage) moved her most, and practical advice for taking it slow, finding a “deconstruction buddy,” and keeping whatever spirituality still fits.find more of cherie on tiktok: leave laugh love on Apple Podcasts: https://bit.ly/4owQNOi leave laugh love on Spotify: https://bit.ly/3WWIXlf leave laugh love on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/leavelaughlovepod/ support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/LeaveLaughLovePod #leavelaughlove #catholicism #fundamentalism #deconstruction00:00 Small Group: Rose and Thorn02:17 Cherie's Background and Deconstruction Journey04:23 Navigating Marriage and Deconstruction06:12 College Experiences and Questioning Beliefs15:25 Working at Starbucks and Meeting Non-Christians25:18 Starting on Social Media and Shiny Happy People28:23 Understanding Cult Dynamics33:43 Navigating Political and Religious Tensions36:45 Personal Deconstruction Journeys43:49 Advice for Those Deconstructing

11-09
54:07

61. What We Loved Most From Our Catholic Upbringing (Even Though We Left)

We unpack the parts of Catholicism we still love and live by: the dignity of every person, preferential option for the poor, workers’ rights, solidarity, and care for creation. We get honest about where politics eclipsed the Gospel, why those same values led us out, and how community, ritual, silence, and values-based living still shape our daily lives—queer-affirming, neighbor-minded, and deeply human.00:00 Small Group: Rose and Thorn02:02 Positive Influences from Catholic Upbringing04:12 The Value of Human Dignity07:02 Reflections on Relationships and Complementarity11:01 Building Community and Self-Sacrifice13:07 Catholic Social Teaching: Core Values19:04 Solidarity and Care for God's Creation25:12 Community, Rituals, and Traditions27:39 Navigating Spirituality Beyond Catholicism36:37 The Importance of Silence and No Phone Time43:24 Values-Based Living and Personal Growth

11-01
48:56

60. Why are Catholic Billionaires Funding a Political "Mission Field" in DC?

Franciscan University has launched a $10 million “Homeland Mission” in Washington DC — partnering with groups like the Heritage Foundation and the Museum of the Bible. In this episode, Evelyn and Veronica unpack how the project connects to a broader movement of Christian nationalism, the donors behind it, and what it signals about the growing Catholic presence in U.S. politics. From prayer breakfasts to policy influence, this conversation explores faith, money, and power in America’s capital.00:00 Small Group: Rose and Thorn03:22 Franciscan University's Homeland Mission Details07:36 Donor Contributions and Impact10:21 Event Highlights and Alumni Involvement14:14 Philanthropy and Broader Contributions17:28 Residential Facilities for Students in DC19:57 Project 2025 and Trump's Influence21:15 Catholicism and Conservative Politics25:41 Immigration and Long-term Political Strategies30:36 Concerns About Right-Wing Catholic Politics

10-26
36:40

59. State of the Union According to LifeTeen

Join us as we unpack Life Teen’s State of Catholic Youth in America (2024) — breaking down “the five cries of youth,” the XLT/adoration model, summer camps, Steubenville ties, and the report’s framing of anxiety, gender dysphoria, politics, and phones. This episode is for devout parents, deconstructors, and anyone curious about how Catholic youth culture really works.Read along with us as we discuss LifeTeen's "2024 Report on The State of Catholic Youth in America."Support us on Patreon!

10-19
57:40

58. Chiles Chit Chat

Veronica walks us through Chiles v. Salazar—the Supreme Court challenge to Colorado’s conversion-therapy ban. We unpack what the law actually prohibits (licensed claims to change orientation or gender identity), what it explicitly allows (client-led support and identity exploration), why “professional conduct” is regulate-able, and how amicus briefs—from Catholic orgs to ex-Exodus leaders — frame the stakes for LGBTQ+ youth, families, and faith communities.Thank you so much for being here! Follow us @leavelaughlovepod on Instagram and TikTok and join ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠our Patreon community⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to stay up to date!

10-12
01:12:26

57. St. Francis & His Snowball Family

Happy feast day to both of our confirmation Saints! Today we dive into the life of St. Francis & the legacy he left behindThank you so much for being here! Follow us @leavelaughlovepod on Instagram and TikTok and join ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠our Patreon community⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to stay up to date! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Order a candle here!

10-06
01:04:34

56. YOUCAT in a Year-ish

Join us for our thoughts on Chapters 1 & 2 of the YOUCATThank you so much for being here! Follow us @leavelaughlovepod on Instagram and TikTok and join ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠our Patreon community⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to stay up to date!⁠⁠⁠⁠Order a candle here!

09-28
01:19:02

55. Anti-Papist Clickbait

"The Great Controversy" by Ellen White showed up on Veronica's doorstep... and we have thoughts⁠⁠⁠Order a candle here!

09-21
52:18

54. Chaos & Contemplation

Join us as we talk through the chaos of the week & all the tangents it brought us on

09-14
47:06

53. The Politics of Making a Saint

As Carlos Acutis and Pier Giorgio Frassati join the ranks of Catholic Saints, we discuss what all goes into the making of one

09-07
01:18:53

52. Ding Dong Dobson is Dead

Join us as we reflect on the life & legacy of Dr. James Dobson

08-31
49:30

51. Acquire the Fire x Steubenville

Shiny Happy People season one had a huge impact on our deconstruction... but season two feels even more relevant. Join us as we deep dive on the parallels to the Catholic conference world

08-24
01:23:58

50. A Year of Leave Laugh Love

Leave Laugh Love turned one! Join us as we reflect on all the things we learned in our first year of building this podcast

08-17
44:39

49. (Hallow)ed Be Thy Fame

In this episode, we’re diving into Hallow— the Catholic meditation and prayer app. We talk about its features, the celebs involved, some of the controversy around monetizing prayer, and how it unexpectedly led us down a rabbit hole of QAnon, Catholic influencers, and Jim Caviezel.

08-10
47:00

48. Typically But Not Technically Catholic (ft. Bill from Morally Offensive)

Bill from the Morally Offensive podcast joins us to share his story of exiting the Church and the bizarre masculinity standards that pushed him over the edgeMorally Offensive Podcast⁠⁠Order a candle here!

08-03
01:40:19

47. When Schmitz Hits the Fan

In this episode, we trace the rise of Fr. Mike Schmitz — from campus minister to internet sensation. Have a little crazy red string moment with us while we talk media strategy, charismatic conference culture, and how everything somehow comes back to teleology & vibes.⁠Order a candle here!

07-20
01:03:41

46. Weird Catholic Sex Rules

In this episode, we tackle the weird world of Catholic sex rules straight from church documents and encyclicals. From NFP to PIV, we break down the doctrine's wildest regulationsOrder a candle here!

07-13
01:09:35

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