Legally Clueless

What happens when choosing yourself means creating distance from the people who raised you?This week on For Mannerless Women, Adelle sits down with psychologist Ivanna Waweru for an honest conversation about family, boundaries, identity and going no-contact.Ivanna shares her own experience of growing up in a chaotic and critical family environment, the different versions of herself she became in order to survive it, and the years she spent trying to repair her relationship with her mother before eventually deciding to go no-contact.Together, Adelle and Ivanna unpack why setting boundaries in African families can be particularly difficult, the difference between self-confidence and self-worth, the grief and relief that can coexist after going no-contact, learning to express anger, breaking inherited patterns and rediscovering who you are outside of the roles your family gave you.They also explore what happens after you create that distance: taking responsibility for your own life, building new support systems, creating new traditions and slowly giving yourself permission to want more including softness, ease and good things.CONNECT WITH IVANNA WAWERUInstagram: [https://www.instagram.com/ivannawaweruIvanna Waweru Digital Products Selar Shop: https://selar.com/m/ivanna-waweru1Email: [email protected] THE LEGALLY CLUELESS AFRICA COMMUNITY Website:https://legallycluelessafrica.com/ Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/legallycluelessafrica/ YouTube:https://www.youtube.com/@LegallyCluelessAfrica Subscribe to our newsletter:https://legallycluelessafrica.comShare this episode with a Mannerless or almost-Mannerless Woman in your life.#ForMannerlessWomen #LegallyClueless #FamilyBoundaries #NoContact #SelfWorth #AfricanWomen #Healing

What if the biggest thing standing between you and your dream isn’t your ability but whether you can actually see yourself living it? This week on The Mid Week Tease, Adelle unpacks what it means to truly own your dreams to stop keeping the things you deeply desire at a safe distance and start believing that they deserve a real chance. Fresh from bringing For Mannerless Women Live to life, Adelle reflects on what it took to first imagine the experience, pitch the vision to global brands, build it piece by piece and eventually stand inside something that once existed only in her mind.She also shares the story of another dream that took almost three years of quiet work, experimentation and courage before finally becoming real.In this episode, we talk about why sometimes our dreams aren’t too big our current view of ourselves is simply too small to hold them; why visualization can be a form of rehearsal rather than magic; why courage often has to come before confidence; and how taking small actions can give us evidence that we are capable of building the lives we imagine.Plus, Adelle shares five questions to help you take one dream out of the realm of “maybe one day” and begin giving it a real chance.Because maybe the woman you’re becoming doesn’t need you to know exactly how you’ll get there.Maybe she just needs you to stop acting like the life you want belongs to somebody else.Listen to The Mid Week Tease every Wednesday.CONNECT WITH US:Website: https://www.legallycluelessafrica.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/legallycluelessafrica/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@legallycluelessafrica YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@LegallyClueless Follow Adelle: https://www.instagram.com/adelleonyango/

In the final part of Lisa Gaitho’s story, we follow her through one of the most personal shifts of her journey: questioning what she had been taught about faith and beginning to discover what spirituality could look like for herself. Lisa opens up about questioning Christianity, confronting how judgmental she had once been, and rebuilding her relationship with God outside of some of the beliefs she had inherited.She also reflects on purpose, business, provision and learning to trust the unexpected ways her life has unfolded.Across all three parts, Lisa’s story has taken us through leaving school, moving countries, changing careers, searching for belonging and eventually questioning some of the things she once believed without question. Her story is a reminder that sometimes questioning everything doesn't mean you're lost. Sometimes, it's part of finding your own way.Listen to Parts 1 and 2 first to experience Lisa’s full story.CONNECT WITH LISA:https://www.instagram.com/lisagaithoAnd this weekend, we held the very first For Mannerless Women Live! Over 100 women gathered for an afternoon of honest conversations, laughter, connection and taking up space. Keep an eye on our socials as we share more from this special day.For Mannerless Women Live was brought to life with our event partners Spotify and Trademark Suites at Enaki Town.Follow Legally Clueless AfricaInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/legallycluelessafrica/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@legallycluelessafricaYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@LegallyCluelessAfricaWebsite: https://www.legallycluelessafrica.com/

What happens after you recognise narcissistic abuse? How do you begin to rebuild your life and yourself? In Part 2 of this For Mannerless Women conversation, Adelle sits down with psychologist and trauma therapist Perpetua Chomba to explore healing after narcissistic abuse. They talk about making sense of what happened without blaming yourself, grieving the relationship and future you imagined, rebuilding self-trust and rediscovering the parts of yourself you may have stopped expressing along the way.Perpetua also shares why leaving a harmful relationship can require practical planning from finances and where you’ll stay to seeking legal advice and identifying people you can safely lean on. The conversation also explores harmful family relationships, boundaries, choosing what safety looks like for you, and questions sent in by the For Mannerless Women community. And ultimately, it’s a conversation about returning to yourself and building a life that doesn’t require you to abandon who you are.IN THIS EPISODE:Where healing after narcissistic abuse can beginMaking sense of confusion, shame, anger and griefGrieving the future you thought you were buildingRediscovering your identity after a harmful relationshipWhy planning and support matter when preparing to leaveRebuilding trust with yourselfNavigating harmful relationships with parents and family membersCreating boundaries that protect your wellbeingCommunity questions about narcissism, accountability and changeChoosing yourself and creating a life that feels authentic to youCONNECT WITH LEGALLY CLUELESS AFRICAWebsite: https://www.legallycluelessafrica.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/legallycluelessafrica/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@legallycluelessafrica YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/LegallyCluelessYoutube SHARE YOUR STORY WITH LEGALLY CLUELESS AFRICA https://forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8 If this episode resonates with you, share it with another woman who may need this conversation.And subscribe to For Mannerless Women for more conversations about becoming our fullest, most shame-free selves.#ForMannerlessWomen #NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #AfricanWomen #LegallyClueless

When was the last time you spent time alone without reaching for your phone, filling the silence, or asking someone else what they think?This week on The Mid Week Tease, Adelle Onyango explores how solitude and silence can help women reconnect with themselves, rediscover what they actually want, and rebuild trust in their own intuition.From the expectations placed on women to constantly be available to others, to the discomfort that can arise when everything finally goes quiet, this episode is an invitation to get curious about the relationship you have with yourself.In this episode, Adelle unpacks:Why being alone can feel uncomfortable when we've spent years prioritizing other people's needs.How silence can help us recognize our own preferences, desires, and boundaries.The difference between intuition, fear, and anxiety.Why solitude and loneliness aren't the same thing, and why needing connection is human.Five practical ways to create more intentional moments of solitude in your everyday life.Because learning to enjoy your own company isn't about becoming a woman who needs nobody. It's about becoming a woman who knows herself.RESOURCES MENTIONED Solitude as an Approach to Affective Self-Regulation — Nguyen, Ryan & Deci (2018)https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167217733073  CONNECT WITH US Website: https://legallycluelessafrica.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/legallycluelessafrica/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@LegallyCluelessAfrica Subscribe to our newsletter via our website for more conversations, reflections, and resources for women.New episodes of The Mid Week Tease every Wednesday!