Life Changing

On the threshold of the first COVID lockdown when people were preparing for the unknown, a mother of two young children from Leeds was given a Life Changing diagnosis. Tanja Bage had always been a keen singer and performer and so was increasingly aware of her shortness of breath. There had been several attempts to deal with it, but nothing worked. Eventually she had an appointment with an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist. The diagnosis was cancer, which required almost immediate surgery to remove the tumour, and with it her vocal chords. She would be losing her voice, and she had just a week to prepare herself and her family. Tanja describes that pre-Covid frenzy, the support she received and the challenges of being a mother while having to re-learn how to speak using a Stoma in her neck. Her mix of passion and stoicism meant that not only did she recover after the massively intrusive operation, but she is now involved in artistic ventures with the Laryngectomy choir and the Sound Voice project as well as being a brilliant mother to her children.Producer: Tom Alban

Have you ever locked eyes with a stranger and wondered, "What’s their story?" Step into someone else’s life and expect the unexpected. Extraordinary stories from around the world.

Dan Edozie was brought up by his mother in London, moving between council accommodation and so constantly shifting from one school to another. He didn't know his father. It was a disrupted childhood that would become even more stressful when they tried to settle with Nigerian relatives in the United States. After unsuccessful trips to New York and Boston, mother and son tried a third time to settle in Los Angeles. Dan had just turned 12. Life wasn't easy. They outstayed their Visa leading to a life on the fringes of society. Dan learned how to pan-handle, to beg for money to get extra food. They slept where they could, sometimes on public transport, sometimes in the refuges of the city's infamous Skid Row. Fearing deportation back to the UK they set off at one point for Florida to stay with another distant relative. The journey came to a halt in El Paso when a passport check exposed their illegal status. Before leaving for the UK they returned to LA, continuing their fragile life. Then one day, Dan had an argument with his mother. She had made plans to stay at another refuge a bus journey away. Dan was hungry and although his mother wouldn't stop for him he went ahead and got some food at a nearby refuge centre. When he caught up with her, she was on a bus. Bewildered, he watched as the bus pulled away from a nearby bus stop and headed out of town. Although he had a good idea where she was going, Dan decided to take things into his own hands. He started to look for a place for the night. He was twelve years old, with no ID, no money and only a large black bin-bag containing his clothes. After being turned down by two refuges, a lady at a third started asking all the right questions. How old was he? Why was he on his own? She knew something needed to be done. The next 24 hours saw Dan scooped up by the US authorities. Within days, a foster home was found, and although he and his mother were in contact, a custody hearing went against her and for the first time in his life Dan found the stability he craved. Life was never easy in his new home, but as he puts it 'he looked after business' at school and started to excel as a Basketball player. By the age of 16 he was in the top 50 players of his age group in California. Scholarships followed and eventually he was picked up by one of the top College teams - Iowa State. When he turned professional he decided to return to the UK and played for the Bristol Flyers for six years, before opening his own Basketball training Academy, where young people in the St Paul's area of Bristol get a chance to be inspired by a man who has worked his way up from nothing. The height of his Basketball career came when representing England in the Commonwealth Games.He's still in touch with his mother, and he holds no malice towards her. His focus is on the future and the many things he'd like to achieve. But he looks back on that moment in Los Angeles when a young boy took control of his destiny and in doing so, changed his life forever.Producer: Elaina Boateng

Sarah Fairbairns spent much of her life feeling she was a bit different. Growing up in the 1960's and 70's she had the reputation of a wild child. On a student exchange in the United States she got to dance on stage with the caste of the famous counter-culture musical Hair. In her early 20s she travelled to India with her boyfriend in search of hippy culture, tuning out, dropping out, taking drugs and becoming what was known at the time as a 'freak', a group at the extreme end of the hippy spectrum. And yet all the while she faced bouts of sadness and depression and a confusion as to why that should be. It lead eventually to an attempted suicide and psychiatric treatment. Things improved and stabilised. She married, had children and came to terms with her life, while never really feeling settled. She even trained and qualified as a Psychotherapist. And yet it was only towards the end of her training that she started to connect an event from her childhood with the unsettled life she'd lead and the fragility she felt. That trauma had happened when, at the age of eleven, she had been diagnosed with lateral idiopathic adolescent scoliosis, resulting in curvature of the spine. The result was a period in an orthopaedic hospital away from her family with dramatic surgery on her back and incarceration in a restrictive plaster caste. That long, isolated hospital stay and the process she went through to stabilise her spine was ultimately deemed a success, but the girl that emerged from hospital was more than just a medical success story. In her 70s, and with the threat of further surgery on her back, Sarah began to recognise that a failure to deal with the trauma of that childhood hospitalisation had been a key factor in her state of mind and behaviour throughout her life. She wrote in to Life Changing and told Dr Sian Williams about her slow recognition of her buried and Life Changing childhood trauma, and why confronting and understanding it had provided belated but extraordinary relief.Producer: Tom Alban

In 2013 Nick Hitch found himself at the heart of a violent attack on a Gas facility in Eastern Algeria. It was later revealed that the militiamen were affiliated to Al-Qaeda. As a senior project manager Nick was deliberately targeted, threatened with execution, forced along with his colleagues to sit for hours in fear of detonating explosives to which they had been attached, and ultimately packed into a vehicle alongside a man with a crude suicide bomb on his knee. Thirty-nine foreign workers died during the attack, several of them Nick's close colleagues. Talking to Dr Sian Williams, he describes how the attack unfolded, how the challenges affected and continue to affect him, and how he has sought to put his horrific experience at the service of others who have faced similar trauma.Producer: Tom AlbanAnyone affected by any of the issues described in this programme can find help and support at www.hostageinternational.org

Dr Sian Williams looks forward to another series of extraordinary stories.

In 2021, twins Georgia and Melissa Laurie set off on an adventure to Mexico for some sisterly bonding. Whilst on their travels they stopped at the coastal town of Puerto Escondido where they planned to visit a nearby lagoon and experience the bioluminescent waters. The day was hot so the sisters went for a swim but soon found themselves in a terrifying fight for survival; in that moment, and the years that followed, their love for each other kept them alive. Georgia has since been recognised for her bravery that day and is the recipient of the King's Gallantry Medal 2024.

Tony Redmond is a Life Changing listener and an experienced medical doctor used to dealing with challenging situations. In December 1988 he attended two major global disasters that left him feeling a broken man, ready to hang up his stethoscope. But it turned out he wasn’t quite done yet.

Tier Blundell was never a bad kid, he was bright and curious but also disruptive. He grew up sandwiched between two cultures and felt excluded from society. Those feelings were amplified when aged 11 Tier was informed by his school that he wouldn’t be welcome back following the summer holidays and was instead sent to a Pupil Referral Unit. He left there with no qualifications and a sense of shame, until the day he puts on a suit, turns up for an unscheduled meeting and demands another go at education — and the results are staggering.

Su Chantry was adopted as a baby and grew up fantasising that she was the daughter of a French princess who would one day return for her. As an adult with her own family, Su received an unexpected phone call. She rushed to meet her mum, and they would spend just one day together, her last.

Aged 19, Dan Simmonds turned down a university place and instead became an oil trader in the City of London. It was an exciting and ruthless environment driven by big risks and even greater rewards but also ultimately challenged Dan’s values and filled him with a desire to seek something new. Over a decade later whilst jogging around Regent’s Park Dan made a discovery that would change his life and career.

Agnes Nisbett is a nurse and midwife whose own hospital experience in the 1970s revealed just how flawed and uncaring the system could be. Agnes came to the UK from St Kitts and Nevis as part of the Windrush generation. Her goal was to achieve as much as she could in her profession and despite the many barriers, “sheer hard work” got her to the top. Now in her eighties and looking back on her time in the NHS, she shares how her own private and personal loss inspired her to challenge and change things for others.This interview discusses the experience of stillbirth. Details of help and support with pregnancy-related issues are available through the BBC Action Line at bbc.co.uk/actionline.

Georgia Gabriel-Hooper is now 20, she works for a tractor dealership and enjoys bumbling around the countryside. But as a child she was witness to a terrible event: her mother, Cheryl, was murdered in a domestic homicide. Understandably that day had a profound impact on Georgia who’s since shown extraordinary courage and determination to use her personal testimony to raise awareness and create change around domestic abuse.If you, or someone you know, has been affected by domestic abuse or violence, you can find details of support available on the BBC Action Line at bbc.co.uk/actionline. If you are in immediate danger, you should dial 999.

In this special edition of Life Changing, recorded in front of a live audience at the Hay Festival, we are catching up with Harriet Ware-Austin, who was a guest on the programme in 2021.Harriet had a difficult but important story to tell, concerning the deaths of her two sisters in a plane crash in Addis Ababa in April 1972. Harriet was only eight at the time and witnessed the event. Almost 50 years on, Harriet joined us to talk about the profound and long-lasting effects it had on her family. She also wanted to see if there was anyone else out there who had a connection to East African Airways Flight 720, but was totally unprepared for the extraordinary response her interview received.Two years later, this is the story of what happened after that interview and how it has been life-changing all over again.You can hear Harriet’s original interview here: https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m000v8w8

Growing up in Newport with his mum and younger brother, Connor Allen struggled with his identity as a mixed race kid. He bottled up his feelings and as the anger and frustration built up, couldn’t find the words to express his emotions. When his rage erupts into violence against his Mum, she ends up doing the unthinkable and calling the police. Connor is left facing a prison sentence, his future at a crossroads.This episode was recorded in front of a live audience at the Hay Festival in May 2023.

When Alan and Irene met in 1959, their connection was instant. The two isolated children aged just seven and nine found warmth and kindness in each other in a children’s home that was unwelcoming and strict. They would steal moments together up on Bunny Hill and talk about their lives. But the home had a rule that boys and girls could not mix. So when their friendship was discovered, a year after they first met, Alan and Irene were separated. It would take four decades for them to find each other again.

In August of 2006, Teresa Clark was driving five of her friends back home after a day at a music festival. Several hours into the journey she fell asleep at the wheel of their people carrier and crashed. Three passengers were killed, two others were injured as well as Teresa herself. She was convicted of causing death by dangerous driving and spent time in prison. The guilt and shame of carrying that loss of life almost destroyed her. But in the 17 years since it happened Teresa has rebuilt; she now works in the mental health and wellbeing sector trying to keep the vow she made to live her life for her friends, and do some good in their memory. Details of support with mental health issues and bereavement are available at bbc.co.uk/actionline.

Police officer Clodagh Dunlop is used to dealing with emergency situations — until it’s her own. It’s Easter Monday 2015: Clodagh Dunlop is an ambitious police officer in Northern Ireland. A fit 35-year-old, she’s in training to run a 6-minute mile. But her day off takes a terrifying turn, and Clodagh finds herself trapped in her own body … hearing the conversations around her but unable to communicate. Then she finds the strength to make a remarkable breakthrough.

Rachel Watkyn’s upbringing was a contradiction: aristocratic but impoverished. She was forced to memorise her father’s extensive family tree and was expected to behave as the 'perfect young baroness'. Despite their status the family didn't have clean clothes or heating and she was called ‘fleabag’ by other children at school. This left Rachel isolated, never knowing where she fitted in, and feeling not good enough. Years later, when Rachel was in her 50s, her father became unwell and made a startling revelation on his deathbed.

When Will Darby left school in 2007 his peers all headed to university but Will wanted something different so he went travelling in search of remote, unknown, and unridden waves to surf. Will built himself an idyllic life in the Solomon Islands but after just a few weeks everything came crashing down in an event that would create a lifelong bond with the island and its inhabitants.