Lightbearer's Library

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When a highly sensitive man stops distracting himself... (INFJ / INFP)

2026-09-2910:37

We can spend years trying to escape the overwhelm of life. But what happens when we finally stop distracting ourselves and we're left wondering what we're supposed to do with our lives? I've been thinking about this because my husband and I have both been feeling this sense of boredom lately. As highly sensitive people, we've stopped doing many of the things we used to use to pass the time, and yet there was still this feeling of emptiness that we couldn't quite explain. And then we talked ab...

The price a highly sensitive man pays for kindness (INFJ / INFP)

2026-09-2514:48

Sometimes it feels like being kind gives people one more reason to screw us over when we're highly sensitive. I’ve been thinking about this after what’s been happening for my husband and me this week. We try to give people the benefit of the doubt. We try to be thoughtful, to take responsibility for our part, to understand what might be happening underneath a difficult situation. And sometimes it seems like those very qualities become things other people can use against us. There can be this ...

The quiet pain of being rejected for your height

2026-09-2212:19

Maybe one of the hardest parts of being rejected for your height is knowing that the woman never really got to see what was underneath it. You may have hoped that if she got to know you... your way of thinking, your feelings, the person you are... she might see that your height didn't matter so much. However, when a woman does get to know you, and your height still matters to her, that pain can be quite devastating. I've been thinking about this because of my own husband's experience of being...

The quiet tragedies of the highly sensitive man (INFJ / INFP)

2026-09-1913:07

Perhaps the hardest part isn't surviving one tragedy. It's when they begin to pile on top of one another, until the weight of it all becomes overwhelming. I've been thinking about what happens to a highly sensitive man when loss keeps arriving in different forms. Someone dies. A relationship ends. Someone betrays you. Work disappears. Your identity changes. You lose a home. And somehow, you keep going through each one. But there can come a point when surviving each individual tragedy isn't en...

When a highly sensitive man is seen but not known (INFJ / INFP)

2026-09-1515:06

Have you ever had the experience of feeling like a ghost? You can be there, listening, participating, being kind, and somehow still feel like they don't really see you. I've been thinking about what it means to be seen, and how different it can feel when someone is actually curious about what's underneath the part of us they can see. I think of myself as an iceberg in this way. There is the part of me that I can easily share with the world, and then there are all these values, ideas, feelings...

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