Live IFS

🔸 What to say when "you’re not listening to me" -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Deeply cut, not ok. The worst breakup. 2️⃣ I can't process my way out of this. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Plenty I could do differently... It’s hard! Maybe because I relate so much. So I kept checking in w parts in me. And that limited how much I could show up for her. But I don’t know another way. There are times I feel like I'm not doing a great job In guiding caller, but my biggest regrets come from ignoring my own parts. 2️⃣ Nothing at all! Whatever allows me to witness and participate in this, I'm grateful for. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 The rebel wants me to be myself... too much? 🔹 Parts: The rebel, strong, important to be myself, doesn’t like being told what to do, snowballing. Teenagery. Likes its job, but not pushing people away, and sad & angry about locking up parts when it wants freedom. Trusts Milan, rather team up w cheerleader The people pleaser, stays locked up by rebel. Possible exile(s): feeling of being controlled, memories of a family member, 3 yo, felt small. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Call recorded March '23. Didn't want to be too challenging, I reigned in some of the more probing questions like “what does it mean by ‘being myself’”, is that the same as IFS-Self? If so… can there be too much? Philosophical stuff that may be answered in the process. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 A glimpse over the edge 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Too much dot-connecting / guessing? -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 A bad habit. Why can’t we get this off of us? -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 She can't sing like that. 🔹 Parts: P Distracted humming, decoy P teeth grinding/self harm. Stop singing, learn the truth. Worried about how I’ll respond and get into trouble. Stop me crying out loud when I was a baby. P we’ve been through this before, it’s a load of shit. Make up some stuff and get out, been working on it so long, if you haven’t got it by now, you never will E crying alone in crib, confused. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Get permission before sharing my parts. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 FOMO. Ocean, net, shell, pearl. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Trying to stay out of the way. But that can backfire. If I'm not actively guiding I can become more of a backseat driver, just throwing up dot-connections. They mostly seemed to land, but, worst-case scenario would be that I'm taking us off track, if a caller has parts that just go along. But today I could sense that analyzer gave space; if we're making stuff up, doing an impressive job! Also high five to me for finally developing a system to be more aware of future calendar, so I'm not guessing when / if we have next call. I dream of the day I do things like that without spending hours toying with automations... -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Making up is life or death -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 If you just stay mad then it’s only your own heartbreak you’re holding 🔹 Parts: P: better to be angry than take on a lineage of powerlessness E: sensing, sensitive, wanting to take it all in. Had to develop a tenseness to keep out the heavy, dark energies around her. Shutting down her powers. 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Still sick during this call which i feel effects my overall energy levels, especially at the beginning of the call. But we find our rhythm. Parts of me feel I may have talked, interjected too much but then i hear Theresa say “I should let you and James talk more, a lot comes to me when you’re talking’ and I think, well, maybe it all worked out as it should. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸Internal family business *Song from 🇻🇳: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rmun4-dd2xQ -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

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🔸 Giving time 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Check presence of my own sense making parts. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Looping back to #399. 2️⃣ In a business-like relationship, managers connect. 🔹 Parts: E: 2yo feet in sand, lost water wings, can’t just sit and be P: sleepy 2️⃣ P manager above. It all has to make sense. P wants to fix it P “spaz” this is all fucked up, all a big ball of confusion P/E kicking in the crib, metal shoes cuz it’s feet were ugly. “get away from me, business person, I need you” 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Direct accessing an exile, out of bounds? A gamble, and one I wouldn’t take without the context: Riben is a true fan of the work we do here, and one of the most active members of our community. The protectors are hidden here (or I'm just not listening very well), and by making contact with exile, I'm hoping to draw them out. Just experimenting with turning up the heat a little. In hindsight, not effective. When I don’t get any response, I try something else. Do I sound impatient? At the time I was assessing it as curiosity. But I can see how I might mistake one for the other, if that curiosity is burning. Too much heat. Do differently: if “feel towards” gives us nothing (that I can interpret), I’ll switch to direct access. If direct access gives us nothing, perhaps I’ll switch to “go for a swim” (let go of the model, experiment, play). I'll definitely listen back to this one a few times. 2️⃣ Lots I could do differently. “Is that right?” would be better than “right?” But I'm happy I followed through with my intention to try something different from last call. I do wonder if this is a case of Self-leadership threatening a primary bond. I may have implied that Self can resurrect this relationship, when I don’t have any way of knowing that. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Daughter: there’s not an actual resource here that I can go to, nobody’s home -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Where the buzziness drops off. 🔹 Parts: Anxious deer on the spot: other peoples anger. dangerous to be perceived in a way that’s not true to me . Dream “massive misunderstanding, im expected to do x, the struggle to stop things to say ‘this should not be happening’” Pattern seeker. How do I map this? No, if you stop to write it down or think about how it comes across, that’s not the real experience E wanting to connect, be liked, be witnessed P push down that part P the learner E on the other side of the cliff. Re physical punishment? 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: Could have stepped in more at the end, but, this being new, wanted to see what happened. I'm talking a lot, assuming her system prefers my guessing/guiding, even if wrong, over feeling unmoored, overrun by doubting parts. But I should let her know that, and just ask how it is for her. She feeling something, and sounds like Self is present, so I wonder if it's the narrator or mapper describing it as "nothing", as in being beyond the map, and with no story to tell about it. Just something I'm wondering today, months after the call. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Flowers and shit 🔹 Parts: P: the people pleaser, eagle eye, really good at observing others. “Look how pretty I make everything!” Ugliness (opposition, defiance) is not safe, be flowery and sweet. Thinks im 5. Cleaning up the mess (feeling guilty and bad) made by: P: Brutally honest. Defiant Teen. “I see through all your shit”. Gets shit done, get respect, keep us safe from two faces. Frightened by the nice face. E 5yo scarred. She’s really doubtful we will find trustworthy men. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Knocking on doors; what are these people thinking? 2️⃣How to tell the truth and be protected? Unburdening the 13 year old -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Mom-defender scoots along ----- 🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: https://bit.ly/3efWiCm 😀Come chat with us: https://discord.gg/VeYvjJUNuP 🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: https://apple.co/2WUyStI https://www.youtube.com/@LiveIFS https://liveifs.com/review/ 👉 Find your ACE score with this https://liveifs.com/ace

🔸 Little one: you always have to have your eye on 🔹 Parts: P: you’ve been avoiding this P: research analytic E: abandoned, exiled, secrecy, quicksand. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire

🔸 Who’s responsible here? Take a ticket. 2️⃣ More than understanding; every part has its tūrangawaewae. *The call with Christine referenced is #378 🎫 Tickets: immobilize & freeze sadness (comes up when overshare shows a dam buildup) needs me to take a breath Over share Don’t Be comedic scared to pick wrong Explain yourself 2 jokers 🎓 What I'd like to do differently: She had just shared all this stuff from childhood and my response sounds like stonewalling. -----🗳 Send anonymous feedback to James: Feedback Form😀Come chat with us: Discord🙏PLEASE help Internal Family Systems reach more people. Subscribe, give a rating, or comment here: ItunesYouTubeHow to leave a review - iPhone 👉 Find your ACE score with this one-page questionnaire