Living While Loving Your Child Through Addiction

What happens when compassion, science, and family come together to reshape the way we understand addiction? In this powerful episode, I talk with Dr. Carrie Wilkens co-founder of the Center for Motivation and Change (CMC) and co-author of Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change.We talk about the origins of CMC and how that created a blueprint that challenged the “tough love” approach so many families have been told is their only option. Together, we explore what has changed in addiction science over the past decade, what remains misunderstood, and how kindness continues to transform lives.You’ll hear us dig into:• What’s new in the 10th Anniversary Edition of Beyond Addiction—and how the science has evolved in the last decade.• Why relapse doesn’t erase progress and how parents can reframe it in ways that bring more peace of mind.• The harmful oversimplification of “choice” in addiction and how to think about it in a more accurate and compassionate way.• How parents can move beyond the paralyzing fear of “enabling” and make decisions that truly serve their family.This is a conversation filled with wisdom, validation, and forward-looking hope for families who want a different path. One based on connection, science, and love.CMC Resources and Links:Beyond Addiction: How Science and Kindness Help People Change (10th Anniversary Edition) https://cmcffc.org/resources/books-and-workbooksSupport the Center for Motivation and Change: https://motivationandchange.com https://cmcffc.org/ways-to-giveResources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/Boundaries That Create Connection Masterclasshttps://heatherrosscoaching.com/boundaries-that-create-connection-masterclass/How to leave a podcast reviewhttps://www.youtube.com/shorts/5xkPZM8mj-E

Heather talks with author Jackie Jackson about her new book, Holistic Trauma Healing: Strategies to Integrate the Body, Mind, and Spirit. Jackie shares her personal journey and what she’s learned about healing beyond traditional approaches and integrating different healing modalities.You’ll hear:• How trauma shows up in everyday ways like anxiety, people-pleasing, and exhaustion.• Why healing the body is just as important as healing the mind.• What post-traumatic growth and emotional resilience can look like.This conversation is both heartfelt and practical, offering encouragement, wisdom, and gentle guidance for anyone navigating their own path of healing.Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/How to leave a podcast reviewhttps://www.youtube.com/shorts/5xkPZM8mj-EConnect with JackieWebsite: jacquelinejackson.netAmazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/0738779555Download her free parent guidehttps://www.jacquelinejackson.net/podcast-landing-page

When you’re parenting a child who struggles with substances, it can feel like you don’t have a choice. The options in front of you often feel terrible, and the weight of helplessness colors everything. I know this firsthand—during the years of my daughter Helanna’s substance use, I felt like my life was completely at the effect of hers. Without a sense of agency, everything felt horrific, like there was no “in-between”—just unbearable.But the truth is even when you don’t like your options, you are still choosing. And recognizing that changes everything. It shifts you from powerless to empowered. It brings back agency, softens the edges of the pain, and helps you move forward instead of feeling consumed by chaos.In this episode, you’ll learn:• Why it feels like you don’t have a choice (and the real difference between “I don’t like my choices” and “I don’t have choices”).• How every decision has both a cost and a benefit—and how naming those trade-offs can ease resentment and regret.• The concept of choice stacking.• Why waiting for certainty keeps you stuck, and how clarity actually comes after you decide.If you’ve been feeling stuck, powerless, or waiting for your child to change before you can breathe again, this episode will help you take your power back in a compassionate, grounded way.Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/How to leave a podcast reviewhttps://www.youtube.com/shorts/5xkPZM8mj-E

Guest Colleen Freeland opens up about her 20-year struggle with daily drinking, even while maintaining what looked like a “perfect” high-achieving life. She shares the pivotal moment when she realized alcohol wasn’t the real problem—it was what she believed about herself—and that what she truly needed was to do less, not more.That insight led her to create a whole new approach to change. In this episode, Colleen explains why emotional sobriety matters more than willpower, why drinking less doesn’t mean giving up joy, and how she helps women cut back by up to 80% with tools that calm the nervous system and rebuild self-trust.This is not another story about “just quitting.” Colleen shows why emotional sobriety is the missing piece for so many women, how cutting back can feel empowering, and what it really means to get happy, not sober.If you’ve ever felt stuck in shame, perfectionism, or the belief that alcohol is the only problem—you’ll walk away from this conversation with hope, clarity, and a whole new way to think about change.Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/Boundaries That Create Connection Masterclasshttps://heatherrosscoaching.com/boundaries-that-create-connection-masterclass/How to leave a podcast reviewhttps://www.youtube.com/shorts/5xkPZM8mj-EConnect with Colleen Freelandhttps://emotionalsobrietycoaching.com/https://www.tiktok.com/@hangoverwhispererhttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/its-not-about-the-alcohol/id1654335817

You’re told to “hold them accountable” but what if that’s not moving them toward change? Heather shares the science behind why constant confrontation often creates more shame, hiding, and resistance. She offers a clear two-step framework to help you shift perspective and use a balanced approach that’s proven to increase motivation. This isn’t about ignoring reality, it’s about using strategies that actually work, and it can completely change how your child responds to you.Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/Boundaries That Create Connection Masterclasshttps://heatherrosscoaching.com/boundaries-that-create-connection-masterclass/How to leave a podcast reviewhttps://www.youtube.com/shorts/5xkPZM8mj-E

In this heartfelt conversation, Heather sits down with Pam Lanhart from Thrive Family Recovery Resources to explore how to keep living with purpose, joy, and connection when life throws everything at you—family challenges, health scares, and the unpredictable ups and downs of a child struggling with substance use.Together, Heather and Pam discuss:•How to reclaim moments of joy without feeling like you’re betraying your child who is struggling•Why mental and emotional health require daily, intentional “work”•The power of routines, gratitude, and small daily practices to anchor you in the hardest seasons•What it really means to model emotional health and resilience for your children•How living in alignment with your values brings peace of mind, even when life feels uncertainPam also shares the practices that have carried her through her darkest moments, including journaling, movement, gratitude, and creating opportunities for connection and fun, reminding us that it is not only okay to be okay, it’s essential.If you’ve ever felt like life’s waves were too relentless to find your footing, this conversation will inspire you to anchor in your own healing, reclaim the small joys, and show up in a way you can feel proud of, no matter what life brings.Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/Pam's linkshttps://www.togetherfamilyrecovery.com/watch-the-filmhttps://www.thrivefrr.org/

When your child is struggling with substance use, it can feel like every interaction is high-stakes. You want to help, but even well-meaning conversations can backfire. That’s why today’s episode is all about a simple but powerful tool: The Connection Bank Account.You’ll learn:• What the Connection Bank Account is and how it works• Why connection is your most effective parenting tool• Real-life examples of deposits and withdrawals• What to do when your balance is low• A small challenge you can take on today to start building connectionWhether your relationship with your child feels strong or strained, this concept can help you create more safety, trust, and influence - one small deposit at a time.Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

In this heart-opening conversation, Heather is joined by Debby Kerr-Henry who is the sponsor of The Unlimited Gavel Club, a Toastmasters group where approximately 60 incarcerated men learn to write, speak, debate, and reclaim their sense of purpose. In this episode,Debby shares why she believes their stories - especially about substance use and recovery - belong in the conversation far beyond prison walls.Together, Heather and Debby explore:•What it’s like inside an incentivized prison and how The Unlimited Gavel Club works.•Who these men are beyond their sentences and the humanity and hope they bring to their work.•Why voices we often ignore hold vital wisdom about substance use, resilience, and change.This episode is an invitation to challenge stigma, open your heart, and discover how healing is possible in places you might never expect.Join the Free Virtual Event: Living Beyond Our Walls: Substance Use Presentations with Testimonials and Q&A.Featuring the men of The Unlimited Gavel Club at Tomoka Correctional Institution.Open to anyone impacted by substance use or curious to learn. Register here https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/EBwwNt0oRMynqiO6QhPnigResources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

If you’ve ever decided not to give your child money and still felt like your heart was being ripped out so you said yes anyway… this episode is for you.In this episode, I’m unpacking what really happens when we stop giving from a place of survival, and why that decision can feel so excruciating, even when we know it’s right.Learn:• Why saying no can feel like you're severing the last thread of connection• What your child might be experiencing at a nervous system level when you say no• The Survival Cycle that keeps moms stuck in guilt, resentment, and exhaustion• And the new pattern I call the Connection Cycle that helps you relate in a way that’s aligned with true connection, love, and your valuesThis episode is not about judgment.It’s not about telling you what to do.It’s about helping you understand why it feels so hard to stop, even when you’ve already decided that giving isn’t truly helping.And it’s about offering a new path forward where you don’t have to choose between your peace and your child.Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠A New Perspective About Enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/Helanna Johnson Memorial Scholarshiphttps://forms.fillout.com/t/rzzgZmhYMKus

If you’ve ever felt stuck between loving your child and losing yourself, this episode will help you see that taking your life back doesn’t mean letting go. It means leading the way with compassion, clarity, and strength.Heather shares how years of fear, guilt, and hopelessness kept her stuck — and the exact moment she found a path forward. She introduces the two-part approach that helped her feel hopeful again: healing herself first and learning the skills to support her daughter in a way that built connection.You’ll walk away with a new perspective on what it really means to help your child — and the power you already have to change your experience, no matter what they choose.Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠A New Perspective About Enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/Helanna Johnson Memorial Scholarshiphttps://forms.fillout.com/t/rzzgZmhYMKus

Guilt is one of the most common emotions parents face when their child is struggling with addiction, but is it always telling the truth?In this episode, I’m sharing some personal reflections and hard-won realizations about guilt: how it became my default emotion, how it blocked me from feeling what was actually true, and what happened when I finally stepped out of guilt and into my true emotions that guilt was covering up.You'll learn:The difference between helpful guilt and default guiltWhy guilt keeps you from meeting your needsHow guilt dysregulates your nervous system and keeps you stuckA practical 3-step process to work through guiltWhy releasing guilt doesn’t mean you’re excusing the past, it means you’re free to grow from itIf guilt has become your constant companion, this episode will help you begin to untangle it from the truth. You don’t have to punish yourself to prove you care.Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/HbeklnOoVcL1UyVXk7zg

Today we’re tackling one of the most painful questions parents face when their child is struggling with substance use - "Should I kick them out?"You’ll hear why this question is far more complicated than it’s often made out to be and why it deserves careful thought, not quick advice based on outdated, stigmatized ideas like "tough love" or "rock bottom."In this episode, Heather shares:Why the words we use when making hard decisions affect how we feel and show upWhat factors to consider before asking your child to leave, including safety, emotional health, and recovery capitalHow to recognize when fear, guilt, or pressure might be influencing your choicesWhat it looks like to thoughtfully create a transition if your child can’t safely stay at homeWhy honoring your own values and your child's right to self-determination leads to decisions you can live withIf you’ve ever felt trapped between two terrible options, letting chaos continue in your home or kicking your child out into the unknown, this episode will help you decide what’s best for you and your family. Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

For years, I lived with my peace tied directly to my daughter Helanna’s addiction. When she struggled, I felt powerless, sick, exhausted, and consumed by fear. But everything began to shift when I realized that peace isn’t something that can be stolen—it’s something we either protect or give away.Even in the most heartbreaking moments, I discovered that I still had agency over how I related to my emotions. That realization didn’t erase the pain, but it gave me something solid to stand on. And I want that for you, too.We’ll talk about:•How to stop bracing for impact and start standing in your power•The “yes for a no” strategy that filled my needs as a mom•What emotional intelligence really means in parenting through addiction•How staying grounded gives your child the best possible chance at changePeace of Mind Group Scholarship OpportunityEmail the answers to the 5 questions below to heather@heatherrosscoaching.com by the end of the day April 14th, 2025.1. Why do you want to be part of the Peace of Mind Group Coaching Program for Mothers?2. What would it mean to you, personally, to find peace of mind and joy in the midst of your child’s struggle?3. How do you currently cope with the stress and fear that come with your child’s substance use?4. What do you most want to feel or believe about yourself as a parent by the end of this program?5. Is financial support the missing piece that would allow you to say yes to getting the help you want?Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

There is a crucial difference between pity and compassion—and this distinction can deeply impact your relationship with your child. When we pity our kids, we see them as helpless victims, stripping them of their agency and reinforcing our own feelings of hopelessness.But compassion is different—it sees their struggles without defining them by them, offering support in a way that preserves dignity and connection.Heather shares personal experiences that have shown her the stark contrast between pity and compassion. We’ll also explore how parents often unknowingly judge their child’s struggles, assuming they are solely a result of poor choices while overlooking the massive role of other factors. If you’ve ever thought, “I would never end up in that situation,” this episode will challenge that belief and help you shift from judgment to true understanding.In this episode, you’ll learn:• How pity and compassion create completely different dynamics in your relationship with your child• Why pity makes your child feel disconnected, unseen, and incapable of change• How compassion fosters trust, safety, and a stronger bond• 7 simple ways to shift from pity to compassion in your daily interactionsPlus, don’t miss my free Boundaries That Create Connection Masterclass on Tuesday, March 25th—where I’ll teach you how to set boundaries that actually strengthen your relationship rather than pushing your child away. Sign up using the link below!https://heatherrosscoaching.com/boundaries-that-create-connection-masterclass/If you found this episode helpful, please leave a 5-star review—your feedback helps other parents find the support they need. Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with Heather using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

In this episode, Heather interviews Jeremy French, the founder of Making Whole, an organization that fills a critical gap in the addiction recovery treatment system. While traditional recovery programs often focus on short-term stabilization, Making Whole provides the missing piece—long-term support through meaningful work, mentorship, and personal growth.Jeremy shares his journey of asking a pivotal question: Why do some people thrive in long-term recovery while others struggle or don’t survive?Through his exploration, he identified key elements that support sustainable recovery—mentorship, creativity, problem-solving, and the ability to navigate uncertainty. These insights became the foundation of Making Whole, where men in recovery not only learn to craft high-quality custom furniture but also rebuild their lives and develop the skills necessary to thrive.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:• The importance of creating an environment of change where people want to stay and get better.• How meaningful work and mentorship create a foundation for sustainable recovery.• The role of passion, creative problem solving, and embracing uncertainty in healing.Tune in to hear how Making Whole is changing lives—one handcrafted piece at a time.Resources & Links:Learn more about Making Whole: https://makingwhole.com/Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

In this heartfelt episode, Heather shares her perspective on the damaging labels of codependent and enabler that are often placed on parents. She explains why these labels are not only unhelpful but also undermine a parent's natural instincts—instincts that are, in fact, a powerful tool for connection and support.Heather emphasizes that parents don’t need warnings about what not to do. Instead, they need clear, actionable guidance on how to help their child struggling with substance use while staying connected in a meaningful way.Listeners will discover:Why parental instincts are not the problem—they are the key.How small, intentional shifts in communication and boundaries can create meaningful change.The importance of questioning harmful labels and trusting their own 'why.'How having their own back and honoring their values is a vital part of helping their child.This episode is a powerful reminder that a parent's love is not a disorder, and they are never powerless. With the right tools and support, parents can show up effectively for their child and themselves.Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The truth about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

In the last episode, we explored why our kids can excel in unexpected areas—like chess, gas prices, or mental math—but struggle with everyday tasks like making a phone call or getting to an appointment on time. We looked at the brain science behind these inconsistencies and how substance use impacts different cognitive functions. But now comes the next step: How do we work with these realities instead of fighting against them? In this episode, we’ll focus on practical ways to help your child follow through on tasks, build new skills, and gain confidence—without creating more conflict or frustration. We’ll cover: How to help your child make a phone call when avoidance and anxiety get in the way How to get them to an appointment on time without endless reminders and frustration How to support long-term planning in a way that makes sense for their brain Why small, achievable steps matter more than big expectations When we stop seeing their struggles as defiance and start seeing them as brain function, everything shifts. We can adjust our expectations, reduce conflict, and set them up for success in ways that actually work. Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

Have you ever felt completely baffled by your child’s behavior? Maybe they can play chess skillfully but can’t seem to get ready for an appointment on time. Maybe they have zero concept of time but can tell you the gas prices at every station in town. These inconsistencies can feel frustrating and even personal—like they don’t care or aren’t trying. But what if there’s a scientific explanation? In this episode, we dive into the brain science behind these confusing behaviors. I’ll break down how substance use affects different areas of the brain, why some skills stay intact while others decline, and how understanding this can reduce frustration, increase compassion, and help you better support your child. We’ll explore: How the prefrontal cortex, dopamine system, hippocampus, and amygdala all play a role in motivation, memory, and decision-making Why time blindness makes planning and follow-through so difficult How survival-based thinking can cause hyperfocus on things like gas prices but not daily responsibilities Why understanding these brain changes can help you find peace of mind and set realistic expectations When we understand the why behind their struggles, we can stop fighting against reality and start working with it. Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below. https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/

When we have a child struggling, it’s easy to feel like our happiness is tied to theirs. That belief, often summed up in the phrase, "You’re only as happy as your unhappiest child," can leave us feeling powerless and overwhelmed. But what if letting go of that belief could create more peace, joy, and connection—not just for you, but for your child as well? In this heartfelt episode, Heather dives into three powerful questions inspired by a mom from her Facebook group: How do you live a happy life knowing your child might die? Are we really only as happy as your unhappiest child? How can you be happy when your child is so unhappy? Through her own experiences and hard-earned wisdom, Heather shares how shifting our focus inward, questioning unhelpful beliefs, and embracing acceptance can lead to healing and peace of mind. Recommended episodes: EP102 How To Accept The Unacceptable EP103 Acceptance meditation EP03 What to do When You're Paralyzed With Fear That Your Child Will Overdose & Die  Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/ GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - Be the first to get details. https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/

In this episode, Heather welcomes Dominique, founder and host of the podcast For Love of Recovery, which focuses on helping siblings navigate the challenges of having a brother or sister struggling with substance use. Together, they dive into the unique experiences that siblings face, which are often overlooked. Dominique shares her personal journey, the inspiration behind her podcast, and insights into the sibling perspective on addiction and recovery. The conversation explores topics like the pressure to be the "perfect child," the effects of stigma, how parents can better support siblings, and the emotional complexities of navigating a family member's substance use. This heartfelt discussion offers valuable insights for parents and siblings alike, shining a light on the importance of understanding and support for all family members. Website: https://www.forloveofrecovery.com/ Podcast: https://www.forloveofrecovery.com/podcast IG: https://www.instagram.com/forloveofrecovery/ Resources From Heather Ross Coaching If you want answers and support to help you and your child Sign up for a 45-minute $17 Road to Recovery call with me using the link below https://heatherrosscoachingcalendar.as.me/RoadtoRecovery⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Guide about enabling - If you've ever worried about enabling, this guide is for you! https://heatherrosscoaching.com/perspective-about-enabling/ GROUP COACHING PROGRAM - Join the waitlist - Be the first to get details. https://heatherrosscoaching.com/peace-of-mind-community/