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Lizard People: Comedy and Conspiracy Theories
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Lizard People: Comedy and Conspiracy Theories

Author: Lizard People

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What if the government actually did cover something up in Roswell? What if yetis exist and are just really shy? What if super-intelligent lizards are wearing human skin suits, influencing international affairs and recording podcasts? Conspiracy theories are cool because they appeal to our evolved logical human brains and our stupid mammal idiot brains. So join comedian and skeptic Katelyn Hempstead as her brilliant friends try to convince her of these and many other conspiracy theories.
208 Episodes
Have you heard about the Donner Party? The intrepid pioneers who took a terrible shortcut in the 1860's and ended up snowed under in the Sierra Nevadas and then they ate each other? Well FORGET what you know, because it's all wrong! Maybe. Mostly. This week we have the pioneering professional podcast fan Lauren Passell here to 'splain all about what really happened to the Donner Party. Were they really starving when they started chomping down on each other's legs? Or were they just kind of wacked out and bored? This ep has it all - history, true crime, extreme gross-out humor, very polite arguing, book club recommendations, everything!
Prepare yourself and gird your loins, this is probably the most fun mother-son conspiracy theory podcast episode ever made. KarenLee and Cam from the show Sex Talk With My Mom stopped by the Lizard Lair (virtually) to explain how astrology is 100% real and works, and also why it's being suppressed. Suppressed by who, you ask? Ok well it's complicated, but it involves dating apps, the federal government, Xi Jinping, Big Pharma, Big Farm, and a bunch of other guys. This episode had BIG laughs and also BIG tech issues, thanks for bearing with us!
We're finally covering one of the core American conspiracy theories, and oh boy is it complicated! Some folks think that back in the 80's and 90's, the CIA took a quick pause from overthrowing democratically elected governments all over the world to pick up drug dealing. Specifically, selling crack cocaine in poor black communities in the US. Not very cool! This week fan fave and brilliant guy Zig is back, and he's going to try to explain to us all what exactly went on. Which is a big job, honey. We're gonna cover how much cocaine is a lot, what was up with the mujahideen, whether institutional racism is bad or not, and way way more.
Hollywood's full of gross creeps. But it's also full of principled people who take a stand and push those creeps out of the business. And according to unbelievably funny comedian and writer Eliza Skinner, one of those heroes just might be Robert Downey Junior. See, Eliza thinks RDJ might be responsible for the downfall of nasty man Dan Schneider. And she thinks he may have accomplished it by posting anonymous blind items on a celebrity gossip blog. This homegrown conspiracy theory is VERY fun and VERY insider-y, we think you're gonna like it.
Jesse and Julian are back! And they are outraged! The guys thing that reality tv star Tiffany Pollard (aka New York, aka the girl who loved to throw hands on Flavor of Love) is a phony. And what's more, they think her 'mom' Sister Patterson might be a dang actor too. Will they prove that the two women are just wannabe actresses who found a niche yelling on tv and have made it their entire life? Do they even believe it? Are we all gonna kiss??? Listen and find out.
Ooops sorry, Katelyn didn't book a guest for this week! Which means it's time for a good old fashioned solo mini-ep! This week Katelyn did a bunch of research on actual government conspiracies that have been labeled 'conspiracy theories' but turned out to be 100% real. Such as! The FBI surveilling US citizens just because they didn't like their politics, the Gulf of Tonkin incident that helped kick off the Vietnam War, the first female President (slay queen) and the horrifying things scientists did to study radiation in the human body. NEWS FLASH: sometimes the US government sucks!
Welcome to an extremely classy episode of Lizard People. Multi-hypenate super talented British friend of the show Tom Neenan is back, with a literary conspiracy theory that'll knock your socks off. Easter is nigh, and so is Passover, and some of you may be flipping through the old King James Bible. But did you know that everybody's favorite epic novel just might have been written by one William Shakespeare? That's right honey, The Bard himself! We'll talk sonnets, animal names, UK high school drama, and so so many inside jokes about how writers rooms work. You're gonna love it!
Coronavirus Conspiracies

Coronavirus Conspiracies


It's a family-only episode this week, as Katelyn and Alexis talk Covid conspiracies! There's a whole lot of dumb stuff going around on the internet about how the disease got made, what cures it, and who's behind it. And it's all mostly wrong. Because these are weird ass times, we're messing with the format this week too! So listen up as your favorite Lizard Ladies present the weirdest and stupidest Covid 19 theories that they've seen in the past few weeks. Enjoy, and stay safe out there.
Podcast sweetheart Jon Gabrus stopped by the Lizard Lair this week to drop a little truth on y'alls asses! Specifically some truth about Melania Trump, former model and current first lady of these great states. Gabrus thinks Melania just might be a plant, a KGB agent working to forward Russian interests and undermine her beloved husband at every turn. Could be Putin be behind their weird-ass relationship? What will happen if they ever break up? What's the Barron of it all? And is this the nastiest episode of Lizard People ever recorded? You better listen and find out! PS! Lizard People is taking a quick break for the next two weeks, thanks for waiting for our return!
You might think you know exactly what happened during the Kennedy assassination. Either because you read about it in 8th grade, or because you've heard the other Lizard People episodes about it. But trust us, Jason Van Glass has a whole new take on it that'll make your brain go mushy. Let Jason explain how it's all connected, from CBS to the CIA, from Jack Ruby to Fidel Castro to J. Edgar Hoover, and all the way around to beloved news anchor Dan Rather. Who's to blame for killing Kennedy? Turns out it's literally everyone.
The Rock! The Fortress! Titanic Island! Alcatraz has a spooky mystique all its own, and for many years it had a reputation for being an inescapable prison. But then some guys escaped. Or did they?!? Anthropologist Micah Light stopped by the Lizard Lair to school us all in the real story behind the famous 1962 Escape from Alcatraz, and what happened to the cons after they made it off the rock. Study up on your Portugese and check on your blue Buick, we got a vintage mystery over here!
Do you like FRUIT? What about VEGETABLES? And how about FOOD IN GENERAL? Well if you're a fan of any of those things you probably owe them all to bees. The humble honeybee is the source of most of our pollinated food, but over the past few decades the dang things have been disappearing! Our guests Lindsey Gentile and Kelly Wallace-Barnhill believe that the Deep State may be behind Colony Collapse Disorder, and they're here to blow the whole hive of corruption wide open.
It's Chinatown, Jake. Well actually it's just the greater LA area and it's not Jake it's writer Jonathan Harris. BUT the basic premise is the same - a group of powerful people decided that they wanted to take over a public commodity for their own greedy purposes, leaving the city high and dry and stuck in shitty traffic. This week we're talking about the alleged conspiracy that inspired Who Framed Roger Rabbit, that a cabal of car companies purposely destroyed the thriving LA streetcar network, and BOY are we having a fun and intellectual time.
There are many contenders for fifth Beatle. But there's another Loveable Lad from Liverpool, a shadowy figure whose contributions to the band are unclear. But who is this mysterious German? And could he be behind the Beatles' greatest hits? And what's the deal with 'googoogajoob' like what the eff is that about, seriously why is that part of the song, was it a placeholder for a real lyric, why did they do that? Join us as Zach Olsen, gentle comedian and big Beatles fan, explains who might have really written the Beatles songs.
Who - or what - is Andrew WK? Well there's the easy answer - he's a party rockin' multi-instrumentalist and singer and inspirational speaker known for his wild antics and bizarrely dirty suits. But is he also... a fraud?? The Everything Reviewed boys are back, and Joey Bergren and Justin Sherman have a little theory about what AWK might be hiding under all that beautiful hair. Is he really that big in Japan? You're gonna have to listen to find out.
The Wall with Gilli Nissim

The Wall with Gilli Nissim


What do you think of when you see the words 'The Wall'. Wait shh don't answer, it's obvious you immediately think of the NBC game show 'The Wall' produced by LeBron James and hosted by Chris Hardwick. Oh wait, you don't? Huh. This week our HIGHLY successful guest Gilli Nissim is here to talk about the secret agenda behind the sort-of-popular game show and it's unsettlingly topical name. Is it just a weird coincidence? Or is it part of a nefarious plot to normalize Trump's border wall? Whatever's going on, we can all agree that game is complicated as hell.
Todd's back! Friend of the show and very funny guy Todd McClintock stopped by with another original conspiracy theory, and boy is it a humdinger. See, he thinks there might be something going on behind the scenes at haunted houses and other spooky attractions. Something more than just teenagers dressed as Jason making out behind the flats. Todd suspects that haunted houses were invented during WW1 to trick Canadians into - well, you should probably just listen.
Happy New Year, Jimi Hendrix was murdered! Some rumors are floating around about the untimely demise of the guitar god/member of the 27 Club. Rumors that his death wasn't due to accidental asphyxiation of barf at all (yuck). Rumors that he was murdered by the very person he trusted the most. Let the truly hilarious Ronnie Adrian show you the light about what really happened to Jimi. And along the way he'll explain psychedelic rock, how to mix uppers and downers, why Jimi was the greatest, and of course Pinkberry.
She's the leggy blonde who captured our hearts with her tuneful caterwauling and wacky romantic misadventures. But could Taylor Swift also be a clone of the High Priestess of the Church of Satan bent on creating the Antichrist and bringing about the end of the world?? Idk, maybe! This week actor/comedian/improviser Beth Appel schools us on the obvious signs that Tay is the same person as Zeena Schreck (née LaVey) and that she absolutely loves the devil. And we make some discoveries along the way, including the fact that Katelyn is incredibly pretentious and nobody knows Taylor Swift's music as well as they think they do. This episode is the last one of the year, so enjoy and see you in a few weeks!
Welp, we're doing it. You might have though Lizard People wasn't this type of show, but it turns out is. We're covering the Epstein thing. Extremely fearless comedian and writer Connie Shin is on this week to teach us all about the incongruities, mysteries, and just plain weirdnesses of the 'suicide' of America's most famous human trafficking monster. While we may all be glad Jeffrey Epstein is dead, it's a bummer he didn't get to take a bunch of other wealthy demons down with him. WHICH IS MAYBE PROOF HE WAS MURDERED?? We're slapping every trigger warning that exists on this one, probably not an episode for the younger or more sensitive listeners!
Comments (66)

Sage Dalrymple

Well this is highly entertaining lmao

May 24th

Kevin Sullivan

cloud seeding has been taking place since the 1930s.

May 8th

Delsi Caba

the vocal fry makes it so hard to listen

Apr 29th

Stacey Jaech

too bad I can't hear or understand what you're saying thru all the giggling.

Apr 15th

Jayme Drumm


Apr 10th

Charlez Parker McHaley

OMG its about time the left gets into conspiracy theories. At least we know there are idiotic people on both sides

Mar 31st

Steve Dronzewski

Subscribed. Listened for 10 minutes. Still didn't get to the topic. Annoying constant laughter. FFWd'd 10 minutes. Finally started the topic. More constant annoying laughter. Unsubscribed.

Mar 29th

Heather Boylen

This sounds like radio morning show in the Midwest. Why can’t anyone discuss conspiracies without being terrible?

Mar 24th


saw this podast, tried it out because I'm into it. awful, pedos are shit, Clinton flew with him how many times and you say they could have met at a fundraiser, but he is at a place Trump owns and you make it act like they are friends, maybe you cater to rich influential people for business, and billionaires have 14 numbers, probably that many assistants, no real information, revisit why his cellmate actually got moved, you made it sound like no big deal, this was just awful, skip important parts, focus on nothing or obvious..and starts out like a trump hit piece, and I just dont get it, I made an account just to say this sucked, please do better, I will still try another episode because I am not a monster lol

Mar 24th

Yasmine C

No, no. You got it all wrong. She *is* Morgana. She faked her death. Then she killed the person later known as Gaga and assumed her identity. =_=

Mar 19th

Jimmy Jurassic

just discovered this show. for the oh-so-serious people who whine...take stick out of ass and check the title of the show...ITS COMEDY!!!

Mar 19th

dirt dasty

if you like your brain cells skip this podcast. #thumbsdown

Mar 18th

Nathan Miller

How the fuck are you trying to kinkshame Kevin Smith about the consensual weird sex he has with his wife, who clearly loves him? You're so WOKE, unless it's something that doesn't jive with your viewpoint, which is obviously much more classical conservative and gender-biased than you would ever admit. But no, you read some other unsubstantiated shit on the internet and made up your mind, so I guess the fact that I'm questioning it means I should be cancelled, right?

Feb 7th

Ed Martion

Show is back to being amazing! Merci beaucoup, Madames!

Dec 5th
Reply (1)

Heath A. Wood

holy shit this episode opened my eyes! I never knew how fucking retarded people can be. lol I'm kidding. i knew people were this stupid. this shit is complete nonsense

Nov 7th

Jeffery Moore

doc browns dog was named Einstein

Oct 21st


Funny episode, but the political talk was way too excessive. I thought the show was a comedy show with conspiracy theories, not the hosts trying to throw their political points out. For instance, they randomly go on a rant and claim the NRA is some horrible organization and that they have caused people to not buy guns because of "shock advertising". They state no proof (prbably because it is just a false statement) on why they think the NRA is horrible, just shove anti gun rights opinions, even though most of the US are okay with reasonable gun laws but believe in the right to bear arms for protection, down your throat. Not a fan of people throwing slanderous claims out without proof and casting a whole group of innocent people actually teaching responsible citizens how to safely use firearms in a negative light for no reason other than virtue signaling. Also felt bad for the guy in the episode...the women were being so rude and negative towards him just because he happened to be born white and male. I get they were joking...but it got old after the 1st time.

Aug 18th
Reply (1)

Angela Fowles

I thought this would be fun to listen to, but the audio is horrific. It's an acceptable volume when they're laughing and joking, but when Mike starts actually discussing the conspiracy, it's nearly inaudible. I couldn't even finish the episode

Aug 15th
Reply (1)


space and dinosaurs are fake and made up by the freemasons look into it. Eric dubay

Jul 29th


dinosaurs never existed by eric dubay .. look into it

Jul 28th
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