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Lizard People: Comedy and Conspiracy Theories
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Lizard People: Comedy and Conspiracy Theories

Author: Lizard People

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What if the government actually did cover something up in Roswell? What if yetis exist and are just really shy? What if super-intelligent lizards are wearing human skin suits, influencing international affairs and recording podcasts? Conspiracy theories are cool because they appeal to our evolved logical human brains and our stupid mammal idiot brains. So join comedian and skeptic Katelyn Hempstead as her brilliant friends try to convince her of these and many other conspiracy theories.
220 Episodes
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The fat lazy cat that America can't get enough of - yep, we're talking about Pusheen! Just kidding, read the title, this episode is about Garfield. And we have none other than Garfield-meme-creator and tv writer Joey Clift on the mic to unravel a complex and shocking conspiracy theory that will change the way you see the beloved comic strip forever! Joey's pretty sure that the lasagna-loving feline is in fact the creation of Soviet Russia, a tool designed to dismantle the American economy by undermining the productiveness of the American worker. Did Garfield cause the economy to go into a tailspin more than once? Are spiders the only ones who spin webs? Is Nermal Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez? Who is the Benedict Arnold of syndicated comic strips? All these questions and more will be answered once you press play.
Nobody tell Lin-Manuel that we know!! This week our guest is the truly hilarious Jacquis Neal, and he's bringing a theory to the table that will shock you to your core. Because thing is, how does a musical about a bastard/orphan/ son of a whore and a Scotsman that no one's ever heard of go on to make a BILLION DOLLARS. Doesn't that seem weird to you? And how the show is obsessed with New York and banks and stuff? Doesn't that feel off??? Plus, how about the fact that Jacquis has first hand knowledge about the theatrical world and he says there's something fishy about the whole thing! The evidence is all here that the US government had a sneaky little hand in producing Hamilton and making sure it was a success, so you better not throw away your shot... to listen to this ep. Ugh sorry.
Or is it pronounced Van Ghraacgh. Anyhoo, have you heard the one about how famous and beloved painter Vincent Van Gogh (from Starry Night and the Doctor Who episode) might have actually been murdered? Podcast producer extraordinaire Gabe Danon has a theory that Vinny didn't kill himself but was actually manslaughtered by a nasty little teen cowboy cosplayer who loved guns and bullying. While he explains that whole mess, Gabe and Katelyn also discuss yogurt, the terror of groups of teens, French dads, paint snacks, the fallibility of memory, and so much more. TW for suicide on this one babies, protect your neck!
Celebs, they're just like us! Sometimes they're approached by a CIA handler who convinces them to carry out covert missions in areas of the world that diplomats can't access! Or so Drew Spears, comedian and podcast host, would have you think. Drew is pretty sure that most major stars (and lots of directors and gaffers too) are more or less working for the government as part-time assets, doing a little light spying wherever they go. Does The Rock have a little side hustle infiltrating the Middle East? When Tarantino takes a break from tweaking toes, is he reporting back to the Pentagon? You're gonna have to listen to find out!
And we're back! Ok so what if there were an explanation for why some people commit crimes. And what if the solution also explained why the US crime rates peaked in the 90's and has been falling ever since? And also, what if it were all the government's fault? Our guest this week is returning podcast pro Winston Carter, and he's got a theory that he's real passionate about that just may explain it all. Winston thinks that the answer to most of America's problems might be in our pipes, our paint chips, and our car exhaust. And you better believe that the Lead-Crime Hypothesis also explains George Bush, racist incarceration policies, and why parents just don't get it!
Hey buddies! We're taking a little summer break, and we should be back some time in September. Meanwhile here are some recommendations on other podcasts to tide you over. HAGS!
Quick! Go watch The Room and then get back to us. Not the Brie Larson one, the other one. Ok now doesn't it seem like that movie was probably made by an alien with no ideas of how human beings actually behave? The hilarious podcast host and stand-up Babs Gray stopped by to discuss auteur Tommy Wiseau and his possible extraterrestrial origins. Babs has a lot of evidence behind her, and along the way we also deal with what to call a group of eels, how aliens make money, where to buy a hyper-realistic baby doll, and why some people get horny for chocolate.
Have you ever slowed a Nicki Minaj song way down and listened to the vocals? No? That's ok, why would you. But someone did, and that gave birth to a conspiracy theory so strange, so confusing, so thrilling, that we simply had to cover it. Some people think that Nicki sounds a whole lot like a sped up Jay-Z, and the delightful Angela Gulner is back on the pod to convince us all that Mr. Carter actually IS the Harajuku Barbie. Angela suspects that together with a team of discreet model/actors and producers, Jay-Z has pulled off the greatest artistic stunt of our generation by creating the truly brilliant and bizarre female rapper character called Nicki Minaj.
There's a lot of coronavirus conspiracy theories floating around. But this has to be the most... specific. Confirmed fan fave Todd McClintock is back in the Lizard Lair and he's got a theory about why we're all taking selfies in our homemade masks. See, Todd thinks that the people behind this jury-rigged mask culture may be the last people you'd expect - casting directors! Could these mysterious Hollywood power players be subtly influencing us all to slap a bandanna on instead of a surgical mask so they can cast us in the next big-budged western? Will your fuzzy scarf that you threw on for a trip to a grocery store land you the lead in Lifetime's next feel-good Christmas movie?? Why not!
Isn't it weird how Star Wars bad guys have become so popular? How little kids dress up as Nazi allegories for Halloween? Well if you're like our funny and thoughtful guest Dahlya Glick, you think there's something more nefarious going on than just smart toy merchandising. See, some people suspect that what Disney is really doing by making us love and identify with stormtroopers is furthering their fascist and anti-semitic plot to take over the world. THROUGH COSTUMES AND TOYS! Together with Dahlya we cover it all, from her epic breakdown in line for the Peter Pan ride all the way to racist cops and replacement vape juice cartridges. Meander with us through the web of conspiracies surrounding a galaxy far, far away.
What do NASA, the UN, holograms, the Antichrist, alien invasions, the Rapture, and a loopy French Canadian have in common? They're all part of one of the most delightfully bonkers conspiracy theories ever made. This week we're talking about Project Blue Beam with the delightful and unbelievably funny Betsy Sodaro! And she's got some extremely strong opinions about how the government is planning to, um, shoot holograms at the sky that look like gods that turn into the Antichrist so they can institute the New World Order? Or something? Idk you're just gonna have to listen and do your best to figure it out. Also turns out this is the one Alexis has been waiting for all along!
No New Ep This Week

No New Ep This Week

2020-06-0302:184

People have called conspiracy theorists crazy for thinking that sinister forces within the American government would flout the laws of the land and use violence to put down a democratic movement for change. Well, uh, sorry guys. This week has been real emotional for a lot of people, and it didn't seem like the right time to put out a regular silly episode. So we're not! This episode is just a little mini hello from Katelyn, and a statement on where Katelyn/this podcast stands on the issues. Thanks for your understanding, and we'll be back with a new episode when it feels right.
Have you heard about the Donner Party? The intrepid pioneers who took a terrible shortcut in the 1860's and ended up snowed under in the Sierra Nevadas and then they ate each other? Well FORGET what you know, because it's all wrong! Maybe. Mostly. This week we have the pioneering professional podcast fan Lauren Passell here to 'splain all about what really happened to the Donner Party. Were they really starving when they started chomping down on each other's legs? Or were they just kind of wacked out and bored? This ep has it all - history, true crime, extreme gross-out humor, very polite arguing, book club recommendations, everything!
Prepare yourself and gird your loins, this is probably the most fun mother-son conspiracy theory podcast episode ever made. KarenLee and Cam from the show Sex Talk With My Mom stopped by the Lizard Lair (virtually) to explain how astrology is 100% real and works, and also why it's being suppressed. Suppressed by who, you ask? Ok well it's complicated, but it involves dating apps, the federal government, Xi Jinping, Big Pharma, Big Farm, and a bunch of other guys. This episode had BIG laughs and also BIG tech issues, thanks for bearing with us!
We're finally covering one of the core American conspiracy theories, and oh boy is it complicated! Some folks think that back in the 80's and 90's, the CIA took a quick pause from overthrowing democratically elected governments all over the world to pick up drug dealing. Specifically, selling crack cocaine in poor black communities in the US. Not very cool! This week fan fave and brilliant guy Zig is back, and he's going to try to explain to us all what exactly went on. Which is a big job, honey. We're gonna cover how much cocaine is a lot, what was up with the mujahideen, whether institutional racism is bad or not, and way way more.
Hollywood's full of gross creeps. But it's also full of principled people who take a stand and push those creeps out of the business. And according to unbelievably funny comedian and writer Eliza Skinner, one of those heroes just might be Robert Downey Junior. See, Eliza thinks RDJ might be responsible for the downfall of nasty man Dan Schneider. And she thinks he may have accomplished it by posting anonymous blind items on a celebrity gossip blog. This homegrown conspiracy theory is VERY fun and VERY insider-y, we think you're gonna like it.
Jesse and Julian are back! And they are outraged! The guys thing that reality tv star Tiffany Pollard (aka New York, aka the girl who loved to throw hands on Flavor of Love) is a phony. And what's more, they think her 'mom' Sister Patterson might be a dang actor too. Will they prove that the two women are just wannabe actresses who found a niche yelling on tv and have made it their entire life? Do they even believe it? Are we all gonna kiss??? Listen and find out.
Ooops sorry, Katelyn didn't book a guest for this week! Which means it's time for a good old fashioned solo mini-ep! This week Katelyn did a bunch of research on actual government conspiracies that have been labeled 'conspiracy theories' but turned out to be 100% real. Such as! The FBI surveilling US citizens just because they didn't like their politics, the Gulf of Tonkin incident that helped kick off the Vietnam War, the first female President (slay queen) and the horrifying things scientists did to study radiation in the human body. NEWS FLASH: sometimes the US government sucks!
Welcome to an extremely classy episode of Lizard People. Multi-hypenate super talented British friend of the show Tom Neenan is back, with a literary conspiracy theory that'll knock your socks off. Easter is nigh, and so is Passover, and some of you may be flipping through the old King James Bible. But did you know that everybody's favorite epic novel just might have been written by one William Shakespeare? That's right honey, The Bard himself! We'll talk sonnets, animal names, UK high school drama, and so so many inside jokes about how writers rooms work. You're gonna love it!
Coronavirus Conspiracies

Coronavirus Conspiracies

2020-04-0356:206

It's a family-only episode this week, as Katelyn and Alexis talk Covid conspiracies! There's a whole lot of dumb stuff going around on the internet about how the disease got made, what cures it, and who's behind it. And it's all mostly wrong. Because these are weird ass times, we're messing with the format this week too! So listen up as your favorite Lizard Ladies present the weirdest and stupidest Covid 19 theories that they've seen in the past few weeks. Enjoy, and stay safe out there.
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Comments (85)

Day Man

Just so horrible.

Sep 17th
Reply

Kevin Sullivan

Geraldine Ferraro would have been the 1st woman President if the Democrats hadn't ruined her life.

Aug 12th
Reply

Jisel

the more episodes you listen to, the more you realize that they dont fully research the people that the conspiracy theories are about. they also manage to make up new ideas without proof and laugh loudly most of the time. um, I think it would be pretty good if thet didnt get caught up in the conspiracy, its almost like they are taking it a bit too seriously. they are just theories! which is why i started listening in the first place, to listen to what conspiracy theories were out there. I would give them another chance, but I doubt that it will get any better. Entertaining topics, but I cant say the same about the hosts.

Jul 30th
Reply

Ishmael

I'm not going to listen to another word of this shit because the crime committed got the correct sentence but was highjacked by a woman who found a loop hole that just so happened to be about an issue about native land. I can't stand people like Lisa McCalmont who love to find bullshit excuses for their POS clients to avoid justice and suck off of the hardworking tax payers! And don't get me started on the narrator who has her own personal leftist agenda. -_-

Jul 28th
Reply

Ishmael

What a bunch of uneducated, annoying, morons. If you're going to talk about a subject do your research before opening your mouths.

Jul 28th
Reply

darwin low

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Jul 23rd
Reply

Екатерина Зайцева

Great episode! I kinda think it's not exactly a conspiracy theory though, just the owners being assholes for the sake of their business and profits. And the whole idea about something in the design and architecture of the hotel causing all those tragedies kinda makes you wish they shut it down and invited some real credible scientists (psychologists and what not) to research this stuff before the renovation. We already know that, like, flashing lights can cause seizures, there are certain patterns that can lead to hallucinations, and certain paintings can cause anxiety because of the weird colors and compositional structure. It might as well be something like that, but in architecture.

Jul 21st
Reply

CJ

The deal is when COVID-19 re-popularizes outdoor drive-ins, THEN a blockbuster movie comes out, THAT'S when Blue Beam happens

Jul 20th
Reply (1)

Abdullah ÖZDEMİR

good

Jul 9th
Reply

Mike Seymour

so I listened to the Princess Di. episode and it was just bad. cringeworthy bad. someone with no qualifications, or background or expert knowledge of any sort comes on and spouts a load of nonsense a 10 year old could debunk. the presenter cant fathom any argument against his "points". it is just bad. not skeptical at all. just noise. do not listen if you are looking for scientific Skepticism.

Jul 4th
Reply

Mercedes Leal

I can tell these people must really, really like the sound of their voices. And the podcast starts after minute 7...

Jul 2nd
Reply

Rey Mesa

funny ladies

Jun 30th
Reply

Bennikatz

I appreciate your view.

Jun 20th
Reply

David Newton

hoi polloi means common people

Jun 18th
Reply

Jimmy Jurassic

note. Gary Webb committed suicide by shooting himself...twice...in the head. Hmmm.

Jun 12th
Reply

Paige Artz

Hi

Jun 12th
Reply

Kevin Sullivan

Owlbears, wow. The owlbear was created by TSR staff for D&D, LOL!

Jun 6th
Reply

Sage Dalrymple

Well this is highly entertaining lmao

May 24th
Reply

Kevin Sullivan

cloud seeding has been taking place since the 1930s.

May 8th
Reply

Delsi Caba

the vocal fry makes it so hard to listen

Apr 29th
Reply
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