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Lords of Delusion
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© 2022 Lords of Delusion
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Lords of Delusion is a weekly conversation between three elitists who have absolutely nothing to show for it. Egomaniacs Aly, Cassie, and Emma deliver their hot takes on it all - the perils of inching towards success, handling the fakes, phonies and frauds, weird babies on Instagram, and generally navigating the polarizing transition into their 30s. All this and more from their VERY small, Los Angeles hovels. There is no back up plan. This is it, chief. Splendor awaits. New episodes drop every Tuesday!
25 Episodes
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Hey Lords! We are outie 5000 for a few weeks to enjoy (we are trying our damndest) summer 2022. We'll be back on the airwaves July 26th. Prayers up!
Al n Cass helm the ship this week and discuss Father’s Day hymns, blind support of indecent exposure in Vegas, tales of near blackout, summer finstas and yet another PSA on how not to be annoying af on vacation. PS - this was recorded before the Supreme Court destroyed our rights. We stand with all of our Lord sisters, grab your car knives and LFG.
Aly’s ride on the treacherous Goliath dating roller coaster takes center stage this week. She emerges *metaphorically* concussed and dripping with blood, yet somehow remains in jovial spirits. Cass gets riled AF in support and comes for all gross men on earth - but what the hell else is new. Lady Emma continues to be regal, shaking her damn (crown adorned) head at why men gotta be this way.
It’s a swinger's club this week, folks, as Cass joins Al for the first half of the episode, and Emma hops in for the second. Cassie and Aly discuss the disturbing yet nostalgic wild n out times of the 80s, finger offerings, and overall they pray for peace on earth. Emma also offers prayers, but ummmm…she’s not feelin’ too optimistic.
The lords are back baby, did you miss us? Cassie is the boy who lived after surviving a bout with the dreaded Covid, Emma returns from a mountainous work journey - only to be plagued by ailments up the wazoo, including but not limited to a frozen ass/robe adorned neck. Al is a beacon of hope amongst the 3 and reveals she is finally (sort of) a member of the Los Angeles elite. She also hopes to bang an old as dust guru.
The lords are plagued by Mercury Retrograde this week. Aly has transformed into an alien being. She shares a tale of accidental indecent exposure, which leads the lords down a holey underwear discussion. It’s a bit of a disaster this week but hey, we showed up for your asses.
Aly and Cassie are without Emma this week, and are as unhinged as ever. They pop AWF about the hellscape women are currently facing. Why are our nicknames so bad? Cassie issues a PSA that turns into an ailment slinging diss fest, and Aly unknowingly purchases a ticket to the Jurassic coaster. Kim K, abysmal zooms, armpit tickles and moldy ass chicas.
The lords discuss an aging father’s influence on life after death, their fears of dying (or extreme lack thereof in Aly’s case), the general existence of dental insurance, hoodwinking scam artists, and Cassie’s circus performer heritage.
This week’s episode starts with a jingle curated by Cass, as well as an homage to jingles in general. Gainiac 4 The Win! Emma has no patience for the shoe warehouse, Aly continues to pray for la vida loca, and Cassie hates on losers across the nation - nay, the globe. Not even the extra terrestrials are safe from her wrath. Hide your kids, hide your wife. LOCK YOUR DOORS!!
The lords are scatterbrained Mcgees this week, but the energy is high. Cassie is disturbed by an old yogi maid, Aly turns to potassium as her savior, and Emma encounters a worrisome sight in Burbank.
In an unexpected turn of events, the lords emanate peace this week, with their hearts full of love. They ponder what they look for in a man, feeling understood in a relationship, and Charlie Puth the “small boy.” Just girls being girls!
A discussion of women’s bathing suits sends Emma and Cassie to some strange places, while simultaneously sending Aly to an early grave. The lords discuss the origins of Jesus Cristo himself, LA cults, and southerner behaviors.
The lords go down the rabbit hole of illicit substances this week. Cass reveals herself to be a DARE spokesperson, Al (as usual) is ready to blast off, and Emma cowers in terror at frog poison.
Emma’s back! The lords are reunited and it feels so good. They discover an array of odd synchronicities this week - a shared love for orange foods, experiences with menacing childhood bullies, jungle gym woes, and…being dropped on their heads as babies. Perhaps this explains a few things.
Cass and Al ride solo this week, ranting and not making a lick of sense without Emma’s grounding force. They discuss the “jalopy lifestyle,” dreams of beauty treatments, battery acid, their disdain for shanty wares, and of course declare that many people are losers. Delusion full throttle!
Why oh WHY can’t things be cheery on this podcast? Even Lil’ Nas X can’t save us now. Betwixt thieves, intrusive landlords and scammed grampies, the city of LA is at it again causing utter despair. Get us to the prairie.
The kingdom of the lords is in perilous shape as they discuss their respective brain prisons. Emma has suffered yet another trip gone wrong, Cass declares she hates everyone she has ever known, and Aly blasts off on a shit rocket. Ground control to Major Tom, we are not okay.
The lords go in many different directions this week, covering topics like babies, weird ass voices, pulsating wombs, why tv sucks, and dirty children. It’s a real yabba dabba doo of a time.
It’s a V-day extravaganza, folks! Love is in the air and the candy hearts are on display. Emma finds love over Star Wars, Aly struggles with mustard, and Cass recounts a teenage cookie diss.
The lords issue an impassioned PSA this week, urging those who are easily offended to listen up and listen good/gird your loins. Cass moves into the estate during an unfortunate time of the month, Emma hates on actors of instagram (who are most likely her friends) and Aly wishes to take a ceremonial dunk into the sea.
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