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Love Over Addiction
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Love Over Addiction

Author: Michelle Anderson

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Do you love someone suffering from addiction? You're not powerless over this disease. You don’t need to wait for them to get sober to start feeling joy, happiness, and love. Join us for encouragement, hope, and some fun (because recovery doesn’t need to be depressing). If you feel exhausted from trying to help, depressed when they've been drinking or using drugs, and worried this roller coaster ride will never end – we can help.
263 Episodes
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When you love someone struggling with addiction, it can be frustrating because you see them self-destruct. And in turn, it can also sometimes affect you (and your children), right? I've been there before, too. So how can you start to feel better? Tune in to this week's new episode, where we'll brainstorm some consequences for your loved one's behavior. Doing this will help give YOU the power to choose your reactions. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/consequences/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
When you love someone struggling with addiction, have you ever felt like you're losing yourself? Or maybe feel like you're crazy because of things your partner says to you? Here's the thing: that's not healthy. So, how do you find your way back to your true (and healthy) self again? Tune in to this week's new episode to hear some tips on how to do that. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/health-and-healing/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
When you love someone struggling with addiction, you just want to try to make sense of why this is happening to them, right? And you probably also want some validation that they really do have a problem (because let's be honest, addiction can make you feel crazy sometimes). So is there a way to be able to do that (and does it really help)? Tune in to this week's new episode, where I cover several screening tools and how understanding this process will help your expectations if your partner undergoes one. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/screening/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
As you know, there are many things that a person can be addicted to, such as alcohol, drugs, or pornography. But there's one type of addiction that I haven't really discussed much, which is gambling. I have been learning more and more about it, so I want to share what I've learned so far, including what causes someone to become addicted to gambling. Tune in to this week's new episode, where I'll discuss this, as well as different types of gambling that your loved one may struggle with.   Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/gambling/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
When you have children with your partner who struggles with addiction, it's important to know and understand that they have an increased risk of developing an addiction themselves. Regardless of how nurturing of an environment you provide to your children, there's still a possibility of this happening. So how do you break this cycle? Tune in to this new episode where I cover why it's so important to educate your children (regardless of their age) about addiction. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/future-of-addiction/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
When thinking about your loved one who struggles with addiction, have you ever wondered why it affects them? What is it that makes some more prone to addiction than others? As I've said before, most of my episodes are all about you and your healing. I usually don't concentrate on those struggling with addiction.  But I really think some of this research can empower you to make necessary decisions about your own future. Tune in to this new episode where I go over three reasons they may be more prone to addiction and why it's important to release any responsibility from yourself. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/prone-to-addiction/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
As you may have heard several episodes ago, I'm taking a certification course at Stanford that's all about the history and theories of addiction in a very scientific way. And I'm not going to lie; it's a lot.  But I want to share with you (in a more 'cliff notes' sort of way) some of what I'm learning because I think it will help you understand why people become addicted.  Tune in to this week's new episode, where I'll cover three theories of addiction and how you have what it takes to be happy and healthy as an individual (even if your partner is struggling with addiction). Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/addiction-theory/  Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
This week, I'm switching gears a little bit to talk about a subject that may be a little sensitive to some of you (myself included): abuse. While the thought of possibly being in an abusive relationship may be a bit unsettling, knowing if certain behaviors are abusive is so important. Knowledge is power. Tune in to this week's new episode, where I cover six types of abuse, as well as my personal experience with it.  And even if you're not in an abusive relationship with your partner, having this information in your back pocket might help somebody else out in your life.  Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/abuse/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
A loved one's addiction can sometimes have a way of making you feel that what you're asking for in your relationship is unrealistic. Can you relate? But just know that you're not crazy for wanting those things. That's why it's important to understand the steps in their recovery (and yours!) that will help you manage your expectations in a healthy way. Tune in to this new episode where I dive into Steps 8 and 9 of the '12 Steps' of recovery, which are about your loved one evaluating things they've done, taking responsibility for it, and trying to repair the damage that has been done. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/expectations/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
When you love someone struggling with addiction, have you ever wondered what it could look like if they ever got sober? Or what their behaviors would be and if they're someone who you can have hope in? Over the last couple of episodes, we've been working through some of the '12 Steps' of recovery because it's important to have reasonable expectations for yourself about where they may be in their recovery. Tune in to this new episode where I pick up with Steps 5 and 6 and why forgiveness and their willingness to make changes are essential. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/work/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
If you tuned in last week, you heard me covering some of the first steps in helping you figure out where your loved one may be in their recovery. And this week, we're going to dive in even more. These steps will not only help you understand what recovery looks like for them but how some of it may even apply to your own healing, as well. Tune in to this new episode, where I share the importance of taking a self-inventory, codependency, and how addressing both are essential for recovery. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/recovery/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
If you have a loved one struggling with addiction, you might have heard about the '12 Steps' of recovery. These are a set of guidelines (steps) to work toward recovery. As you know, I usually don't go into depth about their alcoholism or addiction. However, understanding these steps can help indicate where they're at in their own recovery. Tune in to this week's new episode, where I'll cover the first two 'steps.' (We'll dive into the other steps in the coming weeks). There's also a free printable worksheet that you can print and fill out. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/12-steps/  Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
When you love someone struggling with addiction, they've most likely played mind games with you at some point. As a result, it can lead to anger or frustration on your part (which is completely understandable). So what do you do if they're making you feel like you are the crazy one for getting upset? Tune in to this new episode to hear an important question to ask yourself, as well as what to do when your loved one tries to get a rise out of you. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/mind-games-anger/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
Have you ever felt guilty for a tough decision (or many) you've had to make when loving someone struggling with addiction? If so, you're not alone. But why do these feelings come up after all you've been through? And how can you stop feeling guilty? Tune in for this week's new episode, where I address these questions and why feeling guilty is actually normal. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/guilty/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
When you love someone struggling with addiction, there may be periods when they are sober. And then you see a tiny glimmer of hope. But when that happens, do you also worry about the possibility of a relapse? Tune in to this week's new episode, where I share some information about why (and how commonly) relapses occur so that you know what to expect moving forward. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/relapse/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
If you have kids, having a real conversation with them about your partner's addiction is important. Because here's the thing: not only is addiction common in many families, but kids are very observant. They notice when something isn't 'right' with their parent that struggles with addiction, and as a result, they may be feeling some shame or uncertainty. Tune in to this new episode where I share why it's important to normalize talking about addiction with your child(ren), as well as how it may even be necessary for their own health. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/conversation/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
When a loved one struggles with addiction, their actions and behaviors can lead you to feel hurt or angry sometimes, right? And it's easy to stay stuck in those feelings. This is why it's so important to learn how to love from a distance. But what does that look like (especially if you're staying with them)? In this week's new episode, you'll hear a very personal story where I recently had to do this and how loving from a distance will help honor your boundaries. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/love-from-a-distance/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
Boundaries. You've probably heard that term before, and to be honest, it's one of my favorite subjects to talk about. But it can be a little confusing sometimes figuring out what your boundaries should be, right? And not only that, how do you determine what a good boundary vs. a bad one is when you love someone struggling with addiction? Tune in to this new episode, where I share why boundaries are an important tool to master and some steps in figuring out the right ones for you. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/master-your-boundaries/  Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
Today, I want to talk about something that's important for your healing: having more fun in your life. Yep, you heard me correctly. You may be asking, 'How in the world can I have more fun when I'm constantly dealing with my loved one's addiction?'  Take a listen to this week's new episode, where I'll explain how having fun is a key element to moving forward with your healing (along with some loving truths). Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/having-fun/  Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
When you love someone struggling with addiction, trust (or rather, a lack of trust) can be a common issue. Your loved one may have broken that trust. Or maybe you went into your relationship with prior trust issues. And just know, I can completely relate. Tune in to this week's episode where I share an 'a-ha' moment I had recently regarding trust with my current husband. And if you've already moved on from your relationship, what may be holding you back from fully trusting someone again. Find more here:  https://loveoveraddiction.com/lack-of-trust/ Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com
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Comments (24)

Barb Morgan Springstube

every relationship ends up same problem, seems i only attract same kind of guy. So i stopped dating.. now my son is my co-dependent. this mother is so so tired. no idea no contact with son. cause i can't stop enabling.

Mar 9th
Reply

Barb Morgan Springstube

i just want more info on why we are co-dependent.

Mar 9th
Reply (1)

Barb Morgan Springstube

what if it is your son. 44 years old.. not a child. years and years of tough love, then enable him.. ugh.

Mar 8th
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Barb Morgan Springstube

did change ph #

Mar 8th
Reply

Barb Morgan Springstube

what if they say they will burn the house down if you call the sheriff? afraid to get a judge involved that way.

Mar 8th
Reply

Adriana Jenson

Binge listening. Exactly what I need. My husband becomes an asshole when he's coming down and sometimes when he's drunk and loaded. He gets blackout drunk and lies to my face about being shitty drunk. He's gotten blackout drunk and made a pass at my best friend and niece but hasn't tried to be intimate with me in years. He does things that kill my heart, soul and esteem. He lies and steals when it comes to buying booze, pills or other drugs, and then there's the debt he accumulates and hides from things like gambling. Unfortunately, he's a "whatchagotaholic," meaning he's addicted to numbing himself by any means necessary and by whatever is available. I've been going through this for 10 years and I'm at a breaking point. If I weren't so damned scared over losing everything we have, most of which I earned, I would've left a long time ago. Also, I was independent when we met and had an excellent career, but now I feel dependent and not working. I'm like an empty shell. He's repeated so many times, "You couldn't survive without me. I do too much for you." As I've grown more depressed, he's picked up more slack but makes sure to tell me constantly how useful he is, how much he does, and that I'd be lost without him. I have to remind myself I survived 25 years without him. I went from having lots of friends and active to isolated and depressed, and my husband paints himself as my savior. He's got an entitlement issue where he believes he has the right to do what he wants without telling me because he does a lot for our household. He goes through phases of making me his enemy, then uses that mindset to justify his actions, lying to me, etc. I started the separation process a few months back and meet with an attorney tomorrow to get through the financial assets step of the process.

Jun 29th
Reply

Leslee Dunn Burns

I really needed this today. Thank you Michelle.

May 15th
Reply

David Golson

33444 doesn't work

Sep 24th
Reply

Rachel Miller

thanks for this podcast

Aug 22nd
Reply (1)

Michelle Ann Green

First of all my name is also Michelle and my husband is a alcoholic...i am sooooo appreciated by finding your podcast...i soooo needed this support!

Jul 9th
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Trish Richardson

This is an amazing listen... Thank you thank you for sharing the good stories. My partner is an alcoholic & nicotine addict. He is not abusive but does not earn enough to pay for his habits & I have been enabling him by sharing my money with him. At 52 I am now facing a bleak financial future but love him so much... he is an amazing human being. I now clearly understand that I have become codependant & need to work on me... Thank you thank you. xx

Jun 21st
Reply

Nicole Brewer

Wow! I need this program so very much! Truly! I’m separated from my addicted husband now. I’m falling apart as we speak. I don’t want a divorce and there is no communication right now. My kids are all hurting. I love him. But don’t love the separation. He won’t come home and blames me for kicking him out. Now we may loose our home.

Mar 25th
Reply

Mary Elizabeth

It would be nice if we could include men in these podcasts, I work with several men who are struggling with their wives addictions.

Jan 5th
Reply

Mary Elizabeth

This podcast has changed my life for the better, it brings me peace to know I am not alone. Thank you.

Jan 5th
Reply

Anita Pascal

this podcast has caused me to be more aware of my own personal issues.

Oct 9th
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Anita Pascal

very very helpful

Oct 9th
Reply

Amanda Baker

Love ur podcast Michelle, u have helped me more than u will ever know!

Oct 7th
Reply

Amanda Baker

The master class text is not working for me. Can anyone help?

Oct 7th
Reply (1)

Txharv08

Great information but I can’t stand how she invites you to her website and downloads at the beginning and end of every podcast. It’s literally 50% of each podcast

Aug 30th
Reply (1)

Jen Rhode Hebard

This podcast has been a game changer in how I manage myself. The one person I do have control over!

Jul 16th
Reply
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