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Love in a F*cked Up World
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Love in a F*cked Up World

Author: Dean Spade

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Why do so many of us act our worst in relationships? How can we hold on to our liberatory values even when strong feelings are involved? For 25 years, Dean Spade has been working in movements for queer and trans liberation and to end police, prisons, immigration enforcement, and war. In his new podcast, Love in a F*cked Up World, Dean and his guests offer concrete tools for building and sustaining strong relationships, because our connections to each other are the building blocks of our resistance.

10 Episodes
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Dean is excited to share an episode of one of his favorite podcasts, How to Survive the End of the World, hosted by Autumn Brown and adrienne maree brown. In this episode, "Be My Senpai" the sisters answer a listener question about how to interface with critical feedback and even trolling. They dive into the the importance of belonging and the ways they establish safety and boundaries in their lives, how self-protection is crucial in maintaining mental health, and how competing political prio...
How can you tell when it's time to leave a relationship with a person, project, job, or group? How can you tell if you have a tendency to walk away too fast or to stay too long in relationships? Morgan Bassichis is back to go deep into these questions with Dean, including talking about how to know when to keep trying to convince people of your perspective and when to move on. Dean and Morgan recorded this episode together (in the same room!) and you can watch the video on YouTube. Have ...
Prentis Hemphill

Prentis Hemphill

2025-09-1001:01:441

Prentis Hemphill joins Dean Spade in this episode to talk about love, organizing, and healing. They talk about projection, practice, and their approaches to writing books in the self help genre. Check out Prentis's book, What it Takes to Heal, and podcast, Becoming the People. This episode is available in video format on YouTube. Support this podcast by joining the Love in a F*cked Up World community on Patreon for conversations about the themes in the podcast, tickets to online events,...
Is sexting sex? And is sexting cheating if someone is monogamous? How can we be clear in our communication and boundaries? Can we feel ok giving a maybe or accepting a no? Morgan Bassichis is back with Dean to talk through frequently asked questions about navigating long distance and electronic communication in relationships. Do you have a question for Dean? Here are upcoming opportunities to ask: Send us your question for an upcoming AMA episode featuring Dean and Jessica Lanyadoo. You...
Mariame Kaba

Mariame Kaba

2025-08-1101:11:271

Mariame Kaba joins Dean Spade for this episode of Love in a F*cked Up World. Mariame and Dean talk about the dangers of putting leaders on pedestals in our movements, what to do when you or someone you know is getting canceled, how to relate to the concept of hope in this time, how norms about sex and romance influence resistance work, and letting go of certainty. Transcript available at https://deanspade.net/podcast Mariame is currently organizing a book drive to help keep Bluestockings coop...
What Else is True?

What Else is True?

2025-07-2413:291

When we're fixated on something, it may be helpful to ask ourselves What Else is True? Morgan Bassichis joins Dean Spade to walk us through this tool for getting perspective when we're tied up in knots. The What Else is True? worksheet that Dean describes is available here (PDF) You can watch this episode on YouTube. Transcript available at https://deanspade.net/podcast Don’t miss Morgan's new show, Can I Be Frank? at Soho Playhouse starting July 24! Tickets are available at https://www.sohop...
Tourmaline and Morgan Bassichis join Dean Spade on this episode of Love in a F*cked Up World. Tourmaline, Morgan, and Dean talk about how sites of capture and violence, like sexuality, romance and love, are also sites of pleasure and freedom, and how complex that tangle can be in the day to day. They also talk about what it means to support each other and the many lessons they’ve learned from each other over the course of multiple decades of friendship, collaboration, and trans abolitionist o...
Hard Feelings

Hard Feelings

2025-06-2515:50

Morgan Bassichis joins Dean Spade to talk about how to deal with hard feelings–like jealousy, possessiveness, and control–when they inevitably come up. Morgan and Dean talk about how it doesn't help to shame ourselves for having feelings that don't align with our principles, and how we can use humor and curiosity to find playful ways to engage these emotions and get the emotional satisfaction we desire. Transcript available at https://deanspade.net/podcast Don’t miss Morgan's new show, Can I ...
adrienne maree brown

adrienne maree brown

2025-06-1144:231

adrienne maree brown joins Dean Spade for the first episode of Love in a F*cked Up World. adrienne and Dean talk about collectivity, working in fractals to overcome feelings of overwhelm, pleasure, and letting go of ownership and possessiveness to build abundant support systems. Transcript available at https://deanspade.net/podcast Books, podcasts, and more from adrienne maree brown: https://adriennemareebrown.net/ @adriennemareebrown adrienne maree brown's books: Loving Corre...
For over 25 years, Dean Spade has been working in movements for queer and trans liberation and to end police, prisons, immigration enforcement, and war. His new podcast, Love In A F*cked Up World, offers concrete tools and conversations about how we can build and sustain strong relationships, because our connections to each other are the building blocks of all of our movements.
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