Love is the power podcast

In the world of the thought, “They could have done better,” we are not left with much compassion or ability to show up the way we’d (probably) like to in any given situation. That’s one of things participants noticed in this week’s inquiry facilitated by Tom, beginning with noticing someone who brings up a sense of unlovingness within. It doesn’t matter if we’re believing that the person in question who could have done better is someone else, a whole group of people, or ourselves. The result is the same. Stress. This week’s episode ends with an invitation from Tom into a turnaround for this thought: Just as an experiment, feel the opposite position – that no one, including myself, could ever have done better than we did. Listen to this week’s inquiry and join in to explore the world of this belief as well as experience your presence without it. 

What happens, how do you react when you believe the thought, “I know what is and isn’t possible in life"? What kind of life do you find yourself reading with this thought? What kind of Universe is it? Friendly or malicious? In this group meditation, participants question this belief among others and discover some profound things – including an ever-present fear of a ‘cosmic bitch slap.’ If you can relate, this week’s episode of Love Is The Power is for you.

On a podcast about self-inquiry, meditation, awakening and inner freedom, you don’t necessarily expect an episode about dogs – but here we are. This week, our furry friends are our teachers as one participant shares his frustrating situation: his city is threatening to crack down on unleashed dogs, but he wants his dog to be able to run. This work is rewarding on its own, but the cherry on top of the inquiry cake is that another participant whose own dog was once attacked by an unleashed dog is on the group meditation call as well, and the conversation brings up trauma for her. Join in this atmosphere of easygoing, good-humoured healing that The Work can so easily create – especially if you identify as someone with trauma – and question with us: Is it true that you need to hold onto trauma?

In last week’s episode, we looked at the tendency to hold things as problems. This week we’re adding to the exploration the tendency to believe “I have to do something with my life” and “There’s a destination I have to get to.” Some key questions in this episode are:Is it true in this moment that there’s a destination to get to? Or that we have to ‘do something’ with our lives or hold things as problems?What kind of experience of life do we give ourselves by believing those thoughts? What might an experience of life look like beyond these beliefs? Happy inquiring!

This week the Love Is The Power inquiry group looks at the habit of holding things (situations, people, the state of the world) as a problem. It’s such an insidious habit, it tends to fly under the radar for most of us until we check in. But when we consciously look at a situation that we’d like to be different, it’s easy to see the belief, “I have to hold this as a problem." We might think that if we hold it as a problem we’ll fix it better or faster, and if we don’t then the situation won’t change at all. But what does this thought actually create in our lives? Does it help us show up the way we’d like to? Or does it give us a harvest of fear?

This week, as Tom puts it, the trigger for self-realization could be a bathroom! In a playfully profound inquiry on money, the group questions the thought, “There is a right and wrong amount of money to have, and a right and wrong way to spend it.” One person’s share acts as a through-thread in the inquiry, pondering whether or not it’s wrong to want and pay for a bathroom renovation. It sure feels wrong when this is the thought running our financial lives. But, as Tom will often ask, is the feeling proof? Is the sense of wrongness surrounding the spending of money really proof that it is inherently wrong somehow? We noticed we don’t know for sure. What we do know is that we’ve seen a lot of people act like it’s true since we arrived on this planet. But what if they all learned to believe this story, just the same as we did? What would that mean about the nature of money? What if it’s nothing like we imagine it is?

Last week’s episode looked at the experience of innocence, and the belief that we, ourselves, are not that pure innocence. In this part two episode, we look at the fear that comes up when we aren’t believing that about ourselves or others. The fear of being a doormat. “Oh, if I just see everyone as innocent, I’ll just let them walk all over me.” Seems accurate enough, right? This position, though, gives us the role of constant self-preservation. When we’re afraid of being steamrolled, we have to approach life in a controlling, angry manner. Or as Tom puts it, we become the Jerk Police. We can’t just ask someone not to do something because that’s what we’d prefer, we have to make them wrong. We have to manipulate our perceived attackers – the jerks – with guilt or shame or anger. But what would life be like if we weren’t constantly giving ourselves this role? Pick a situation in your own life where someone is being a total jerk, and find out for yourself.

Notice a time when you’ve experienced innocence. (Tip: dogs, cats, babies and little kids are a good touchstone for this kind of experience.) What did it bring up within you? In this group inquiry, participants become aware of a sense of openness, levity, and joy, as well as a sense of wanting to protect and care for that innocence. And then Tom asks this question: Is it true that you are not that innocent? Can you absolutely know you are not innocent in that exact way? What is your experience of the world when you believe this of yourself and the rest of humanity? After joining in this inquiry, you might notice the next time you have that experience (whether it’s one of guilt, blame, self-condemnation, or any withholding of love) it’s easier to just say, “Oops, I did it again. I believed I’m not that innocent.”

This week Love Is The Power gives you an incredibly vulnerable, incredibly beautiful inquiry with a brave share. If you’ve ever experienced the frustration of chronic pain or illness of the body, you have probably experienced the devastating sense of hopelessness that can come with it. Holding space for that emotional pain, Tom initiates an exploration of the sensation of physical pain. Byron Katie says that all pain is imagined. That can be a hard one to get our heads around – especially when we’re in the midst of pain. But what if it’s true? What if who we really are is pure awareness that is itself unaffected by pain? What if the awareness that perceives the pain (whether the pain is physical or emotional) is who we really are? And what if that awareness is an experience of pure peace?

This week’s episode begins by asking the question: Can you absolutely know that it’s true that suffering is necessary? It’s an interesting question, because it seems like it must be true. If suffering wasn’t necessary, why would we experience it? It can be easy on the so-called spiritual path to wear suffering like a badge of honour, and it certainly is a powerful teacher. But does that make it necessary to hold onto? And furthermore, does believing that thought actually help us to get free? Or does it send us into an endless loop of discomfort followed by “dealing with it” or “working on ourselves”? Feel free to follow along with your own work as this line of questioning leads into some powerful sub-inquiries and contemplations. (Spoiler: concepts like “I have to deal with this dis-ease” and “I’m not deserving of love.”)

This week’s inquiry begins with a look at a simple thought: “I need money.” Seems pretty straightforward. Pretty accurate. (Unless you’re a Buddhist monk.) But slowly this inquiry becomes a deep dive into the entire concept of need. “I need something that’s not here right now.” Tom takes it to the past, too, by inviting participants to look at a memory where we believe we needed something that wasn’t there. Whether that something was better care, shelter, food, water, painkillers, relief, kindness, or another of the abundant examples that come up in this group meditation, the questions are the same; Can you absolutely know it’s true? Follow along to find out for yourself.

Two weeks ago an episode of Love Is The Power was released where Tom led a group inquiry on the thought, “I need to hold onto the wrongs done to me and the wrongs I’ve done.” In this part II episode, we’re exploring some different concepts, emotions, and conditions we notice the tendency to hold onto. Can you relate to holding onto being different/special/unique/separate? Or is a death grip on the sense of safety (yours or that of a friend/child/parent/partner) familiar? If your answer is yes, we invite you to follow along with the inquiries in this episode. If it’s a ‘no’ then feel free to notice where, within you, you experience a ‘holding on’ of some kind -- and then question it.

This week’s episode begins with a chance to look at one of those moments where we believe, “I shouldn’t have done that.” You know the one. It lies dormant and then pops into your mind as you’re trying to fall asleep and causes The Cringe. It shows up at the most inopportune times, saying, “Remember when you said/did that thing to that person all those years ago? Yeah, you shouldn’t have done that.” And in the questioning of that thought, what arises is a deeper belief in needing to earn love. Is it possible that when we cringe at our past selves (who were doing the best they could with what they had) it’s because we believe that those past actions disqualify us for an experience of love now? And is it really true that we need to earn love at all? Or are we using that story of being undeserving to stay justified in keeping a strong sense of identification and separation?

This week’s meditation begins with noticing the tendency to hold on. It sharpens to a more specific inquiry: “I need to hold onto the wrongs done to me and the wrongs I’ve done to others.” Is that true? The group digs deeper beneath that enticing story that can just seem so factual, like common sense. “Of course I need to hold on! Otherwise how will I make amends? Or get the apologies I deserve?” But what is life like when we hold on to the wrongs we’ve done and had done to us? And even more fascinating – what would our experience be like if we didn’t believe we needed to? There’s a powerful shift that takes place with the questioning of these stories in this group. Feel free to join in on your own!

This week’s deep inquiry begins with a simple invitation: to notice what arises within you when you allow yourself to consciously experience being open to any and all possibilities in life. In this group meditation, what comes up in response to Tom’s prompt is fear. It feels terrifying to open to all possibilities when those possibilities include things we think we very much would not like to experience; things we think we wouldn’t be able to handle. Going back to last week’s episode theme, we are convinced that something truly terrible can happen. This episode expands on that conversation with the idea that we could do something unforgivable. Something beyond forgiveness. We could go somewhere that love cannot reach us.But is that true? If it’s a friendly Universe, how could something we call ‘unforgivable’ be a good and beautiful thing? If you’re up for it, there’s a profound inquiry available this week – one that points to a profound experience of life waiting on the other side of unforgivable.

The mind wonders if there’s even any point in questioning a thought like, “Something terrible can happen.” It seems so obviously true. “Of course something terrible can happen! I could lose my job, my partner/child/parent/friend could die, I could get sick … and that’s not even counting all the terrible things already happening like wars and starvation.” Yes. That is true. All of those things could happen and are happening. But in this powerful inquiry on some sensitive subjects, Tom asks question two of The Work: “Can you absolutely know it’s true?” Can you absolutely, positively-for-sure know it’s true that something terrible can happen? Or could it be possible that the words of mystic St. Catherine of Siena are applicable to this story, that the absolute innocence of all within creation takes awhile to understand. Either way, we have the freedom to check in for ourselves and question painful stories. We have the freedom to notice whether believing this thought helps us show up in the world as truly helpful, happy beings – or not.

This week’s episode explores the thought, “I need to be valued.” This thought can become so insidious with its underlying beliefs – for example, believing our support, our existence depends on being liked by others. There can be a laundry list of things we think we need to be valued for: our time, our presence, our various roles, and most often just … ourselves. But what happens when we believe this? What becomes of our sense of freedom? As Tom often puts it, does it give us a big, fat ‘Yes!’ to life? Or does this thought become a prison shackle that we try to accommodate by contorting ourselves in order to be valued by others, and resenting them when they don’t come through with that validation? If you’re somewhere on your own freedom journey, we invite you to join this conversation and facilitation guided by Tom.

One of the main aspects of The Work is identifying a thought to question. Part of identifying it can be allowing ourselves to really feel it. So in preparation for this week’s episode, we invite you to look at the people surrounding you in life and really, deeply, as-best-you-can, feel the thought “I’m responsible for their happiness.” What does it feel like in the body? Is there someone in particular who especially triggers this belief most of us pick up so young? If you notice the thought feels constrictive and limiting and stressful, but also somehow like the “right” thing, well…you’re not alone. Follow along with your own inquiry into this thought, and notice what your experience might be like without it.

In this week’s short but sweet episode, we look at wanting attention and the high that seems to come when we get it. Tom points out that the high is really just a moment of experiencing what it’s like to let go of the need for attention. Could it be that what we’re really seeking is the experience of letting go? Often Tom will ask, in response to different desires (“I want people to love/like me, I want to matter, I want security…”), what do you want that for? Usually the answer is some variant of peace, relaxing, letting go, feeling okay, just being, etc. If there’s something you notice you want in this moment, the invitation is to notice what you want it for. Maybe, like this episode’s guest, it isn’t finally getting that thing that will give you the experience you’re looking for. Maybe it’s the letting go of wanting.

Join us this week as we inquire into the idea of screwing it up. For most of us, it was at a young age that we internalized the idea that we could make a mistake. Thus was born the fear of being a screw-up. But is that even a thing? Is screwing up even possible? Perhaps it is when we believe it is – or maybe not even then. But either way, we’re curious about what’s on the other side of this belief. What would it be like to step into the next moment of life without it?