Magellans at the Movies

Travel. Doesn’t the very concept just send a shiver down your spine? Sure, it’s nice to be at the Brickworks Museum in beautiful Southampton, England, but getting there is a nightmare of lines, layovers, fares, and odors. Honestly it’s enough to put one off of learning about bricks at the premier institute for global brick study in the first place, but is it enough to put you off getting home for a nice Thanksgiving meal? Certainly not for the heroes of Planes, Trains and Automobiles, a 1987 holiday themed comedy about two mismatched travelers struggling to travel across the midwest. This rare Thanksgiving movie is well liked by critics and audiences alike, and frequently enjoys warm retrospectives. Are its itinerant charms enough to earn the gratitude of Nathan and Elliot? Grab your tickets and pack your bags as we find out on today’s brand new episode of Magellans at the Movies! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

You low down dirty rotten scoundrel, I’ll kill you for replacing my cornflakes with a colony of cockroaches! How many times have you heard those words? It’s only natural that when someone is wronged, they desire restitution, sometimes in the form of violent revenge. The next time you play a hilarious prank on someone and they come gunning for you, however, you may wish to show them a film to educate them on the dangers of vengeance. You’ll have quite a lot to choose from, but may we recommend Blue Ruin, a 2013 crime drama directed by Jeremy Saulnier? You probably haven’t heard of this indie flick concerning dead parents, terrible haircuts, and an overwhelming thirst for bloody recriminations, but it earned itself plenty of praise for its unique, minimalistic take on the old “revenge = bad” story. Still not convinced? Then let your old friends from Magellans at the Movies tell you all about it on today’s brand new episode! And if you don’t give the episode five stars, there will be consequences . . . Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Wait! Did you hear that? It was the sound of demonic mischief made as the witching hour unfolds. It was the sound of infernal whispers in the darkness. It was the sound of someone, or something . . . putting mayonnaise in my yogurt?!? Aw come on, that’s just childish! This series of ghostly pranks tells me that I am at the mercy of a very particular breed of hell-sent spirit, a monstrous devil who hates open doors, loves standing, and is extremely camera shy, that’s right, folks, I’ve landed myself on the bad side of the demon from Paranormal Activity! For those not in the know, this rascally wraith first appeared in the Orin Peli-directed found footage movie that released in 2007 and changed the horror game for years to come. This ultra-low budget indie film about a couple recording their supernatural torment scared the bejeezus out of audiences on release, made mountains of cash, and spawned a series that’s . . . wait, seven movies long? Good heavens, with a franchise long-tail like that, the first movie must be something worth talking about, right? I certainly hope so because that’s what we’ll be doing on today’s brand new episode of Magellans at the Movies! Turn on your cameras and don’t stop recording; let’s find out what lurks in the small hours of the night . . . Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

“Hey, Steve, how’s work going on that calendar?” “Oh, hey, Barry. It's going all right, but aren’t you worried this is a little vague?”“Whatever do you mean, Steve?”“Well, what if we haven’t been clear enough about the meaning of the Long Count calendar, and in the future people misunderstand our dating system as prophesying the end of the world?”“Oh, Steve, don't be silly. You’d have to be into some pretty weird New Age beliefs to think that.”“I suppose you’re right, Barry. Say, isn’t it weird how we ancient Mayans have modern English names?”“What’s an English?” Ha ha ha, aren’t they funny, ladies and gents? Anyway, today we’ll be reviewing 2012, a 2009 apocalyptic disaster film directed by Roland Emmerich. Enjoy! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Wizards have a long history, not just in movies, but in fiction generally. Whether they’re running a class action lawsuit just waiting to happen in the form of a deathtrap boarding school, going on road trips to return some seriously defective jewelry, or burning things at random to punctuate each sentence, audiences everywhere delight in sorcerers of screen, page, and stage. Fictional wizards (as opposed to real wizards, of course) could also come in the form of a de facto monarch lording over an enclave of green structures erected in his own selfish image, exchanging favors for the assassination of his geopolitical enemies with random strangers. I’m talking, of course, about the titular magic man of The Wizard of Oz, a 1939 family musical directed by Victor Fleming and based on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum. The Wizard of Oz is beloved, that’s plain to see from its frequent top honors on best-of movie lists, and has dazzled millions of children the world over, but can it withstand the modern cynicism of two men brought up in the torrid fires of the 21st century? Load your squirt gun and wave Kansas goodbye as we join cynics Nathan and Elliot on Magellans at the Movies to find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Stand back, coppers, I've got a brainwashed child and I'm not afraid to use it! How many times have you heard that phrase barked from the mouths of bank robbers and rum runners? In the past few months, I know there's not a day that goes by in Kansas City without the sight of gangs aiming military-grade elementary schoolers at each other in tense standoffs. This sudden arsenal of adolescents is, in my opinion, attributable mainly to people misunderstanding the point of Weapons, a 2025 horror movie directed by Zach Cregger. After all, this spine-tingling story of the kids being very much not all right proved to be a surprise summer hit, earning all involved heaps of cash and reams of glowing reviews, but all that celebrating was, of course, premature, since Magellans at the Movies hadn't had their say yet. Today that changes, and the final word on rising horror darling Cregger's latest chiller will be handed down. Will this seal Weapons' ascent into genre divinity, or will the film be sent running into the dark like a kid trying to bodily recreate the outline of that one Star Wars ship? Hide your hair and grab your bell, let's find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

You sleep through your alarm on the day of your big presentation, you leave your wallet at home the one day you decide to push the speed limit, your dad’s human illegal exotic pet empire gets dismantled and the proceeds reclaimed at the very moment you need money for bond, the bomb you intended for the alarm clock company as vengeance for their substandard products explodes in your hand leaving you with quite a bit of egg, and your own arm, on your face; my friends, it truly is one battle after another. Thankfully, while you wait for your richly deserved sentence to be handed down, you can still take your mind off of your troubles at the movies, though for those of us who are feeling like if it’s not one thing, it’s a daggone ‘nother, Paul Thomas Anderson’s latest flick, One Battle After Another, kinda sorta loosely based-ish on Vineland by Thomas Pynchon, might not be distracting so much as magnifying. That’s because this 2025 political/satirical thriller is all about the relentless onslaught of being a former revolutionary trying to raise a daughter in an authoritarian near-future America, and while it may not be relaxing, it is certainly acclaimed. Frankly, that word doesn’t fully explain just how euphorically this film has been received by critics, but the Guardians, New Yorkers, and Chicago Sun-Timeses are easy pickings, earning a kind word from Magellans at the Movies? Now that’s a feat worth putting on the DVD case. Will this kooky caper be able to pull off such a coup? Grab your AK and don your bonnet rouge and let’s find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Moving on can be hard for many reasons, but for those of us leaving behind disinterested parents, monthslong torture, and the deaths of most everyone we care about, consigning most of our lives to memory lane is more than welcome. I, for example, yearn to relocate to a remote village in the Alps and thereby escape the many obligations I've accumulated to the wealthy investors in my "dog to human translation" company, but that's a silly example. For a more serious case, look no further than Jesse Pinkman's mission to get the heck out of Dodge/Albuquerque as seen in El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie, a 2019 crime drama directed by Vince Gilligan. This brief coda to the central narrative of Breaking Bad, released midway through Better Call Saul's run, was hardly the object of scorn, but never quite got the same stratospheric acclaim as its parent shows, and is more than likely in third place on most fans' Breaking Bad universe rankings. Where will it land on the lists of Breaking Bad fans Nathan and Elliot Magellan? Yo, start the episode to find out, b****.Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

A star is born. Not because a mommy star and a daddy star loved each other very much, or even because a clump of matter and gas collapsed under its own gravity (I think), but because a person has a talent for singing which they perform for a wide listening audience. What transpires across the lifespan of our newborn star has historically varied, but common themes include substance abuse, fraught relationships, and, if they're very lucky, Oscars. I'm talking, of course, about the 2018 musical romance A Star is Born, directed by Bradley Cooper. This melodic melodrama was favored by critics and audiences alike, who swooned for its hot stars and earworm-packed soundtrack, but Magellans at the Movies are made of sterner stuff. Will they be won over by all the kissing and the crooning, or will their review be a song of only sour notes? Maybe it's time to find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Oh no! There’s been a glitch in the matrix, forcing the Wachowskis to reload their save! Thankfully they’ve backed up their data and can proceed with the first of two planned sequels wrapping up the original Matrix trilogy. The Matrix Reloaded, like so many sequels, tries to follow up a groundbreaking first installment by embodying a single word: more. More elaborate kung fu fisticuffs, more Agent Smiths, more convoluted philosophizing, more whisper-talk, and of course, much more latex. The result is a dense, action-packed, confusing, and slightly kinky middle act that, while hardly an object of derision, is generally agreed to suffer from the shadow of its older brother. It is also a movie that Nathan has never seen, despite enjoying the classic first Matrix. Will he find more favor in this good-but-not-great sophomore outing, or will he reject the code and find freedom, and entertainment, elsewhere? Jack in to find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Ah, to be alive in the 60s. When reds hid under beds for reasons unknown, protestors in the street inquired as to the precise uses of war, and men arrived on the moon, decided it was a bit nothing, and moved back to Earth. Yes, the period of time between January 1st, 1960 and December 31st, 1969 sure was a barrel of laughs, some of which could be enjoyed at the movies for the low low price of some shoelaces, probably. Indeed, they made a whole heap of movies during the 60s, which makes it hard for the man or woman on the go to discern which ones are the best of the bunch. Luckily, that’s why we have podcasts like Magellans at the Movies, which will today be compiling their official list of the best films released in the 1960s! Ich bin ein film lover and so are you, so let’s get down to business of the episode! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Pitiless cruelty. Vicious misanthropy. Terror in every eye, rumor in every mouth, escape on every mind. No, I’m not talking about my extremely hardcore bookclub, I’m talking about high school! No one likes high school, that’s why making jokes about its abundant unpleasantness is so creative and funny, but the fact that high school is an almost universally shared experience makes it prime fodder for movies. One of the most enduring examples of this curious genre is undoubtedly Mean Girls, a 2008 teen comedy directed by Mark Waters. This sarcasm-heavy female-centric kneeslapper aimed to speak into the lives or pasts of every girl who’s had to suffer the rat race of popularity, and boy did it find an army of attentive ears. Mean Girls was and remains hugely popular among critics and audiences, and today Magellans at the Movies will be offering their two cents on the film to rather fewer, rather less attentive ears. Brush up on your calculus and DON’T WEAR A XXXL MEN’S HUMOROUS EAT MY SHORTS BART SIMPSON COMMEMORATIVE T-SHIRT BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT I’M WEARING AND I’VE BEEN PLANNING MY OUTFIT SINCE LAST WEEK AND YOU ALWAYS GET TO CHOOSE WHAT YOU WEAR SO WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE WHO HAS TO CHANGE THEIR PLAN AND WHAT MAKES YOU SO SPECIAL?!?!?!?!?! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

I don't know about you, but the best part of my day is always coming home. Now, sure, the state of my residence is not always pristine, the neighbor plays dreadful anime music at a deafening volume, and the pallets of weapons grade LSD are prime for toe-stubbing, but whatever the condition of your castle, I think for many of us it's often a relief to get back to it after a long journey. If, however, your journey included things like war, suffering, and a cyclops or two, then your homecoming may be slightly more fraught. That, at least, is the central conceit of The Return, a 2024 drama directed by Uberto Pasolini and based on The Odyssey by Homer. The Return is a far quieter, more stripped back adaptation of literature's defining epic than you may be used to, which, coupled with a lukewarm advertising campaign and decent but unenthusiastic reviews, goes some way towards explaining the faint (and already fading) impact it made on release. Is its obscurity warranted, or is there more to this curious, theatrical adaptation than its diminutive presence in the zeitgeist suggests? To find out, embark on your own odyssey across the airwaves with the aid of the pods on today's new episode of Magellans at the Movies! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

I'm going to write this whole description without referencing the "inconceivable" joke, you watch. What on Earth are you talking about, I hear you ask, embarrassingly revealing yourself to be under the age of forty. Why, my young, Tik-Toking friend, I'm talking about every dad's favorite movie The Princess Bride, of course! This 1987 fantasy/adventure/comedy/romance mashup based on The Princess Bride: S. Morgenstern's Classic Tale of True Love and High Adventure, the "Good Parts" Version by William Goldman may not have set the world on fire on release, but it's since become a beloved pop culture mainstay and common subject of "they don't make 'em like this anymore" grunts by the worldwide elderly population. But can this icon of film withstand the cynical eye of youth projected from the faces of Magellans at the Movies? The answer awaits you in today's new episode! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

All right, gotta write a new jokey, sarcastic description for the podcast. Let’s see what’s on the schedule. Prisoners, eh? Sounds like you’ll be doing hard time with that movie, hyuck hyuck hyuck. Anyways, released in 2013, directed by Denis Villeneuve, about a kidnapping, huh, that’s a tricky one. Family man driven to utter depravity by the loss of his daughter . . . ouch, um . . . I guess there’s a joke in there about overbearing dads losing it at little league games? Men and women making terrible choices out of sheer desperation . . . uh . . . sounds like your typical Friday night at the improv club, right folks? Extensive sequences depicting the torture of a mentally handicapped man . . . graphic onscreen suicide . . . traumatized parents losing their senses of self . . . oh dear . . . maybe you’d better just start the episode. I think I need to go for a walk. Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Faster than a speeding bullet! Stronger than a locomotive! Able to leap buildings in a single bound! Struggling with depression and guilt over thousands of lives lost in the crossfire! Duh-duh-daaaa, it's Superman! Behold the last son of Krypton as he . . . just plows through a building full of innocent people and sends the entire thing crashing to the ground in an apocalyptic display of death and destruction, dang. Cheer as the guardian of Metropolis . . . kinda stares moodily into the middle distance as if he were an office worker who just remembered they left their packed lunch at home . . . huh. Be amazed by, uh, unsubtle Christ metaphors that mean, um, something probably . . . Erm, anyways, that's right, folks! With the Man of Steel currently enjoying his third theatrical reboot of the past twenty years, Magellans at the Movies thought that now was the opportune moment to return to, well, Man of Steel! This 2013 comic book film was directed by Zack Snyder and boy can you tell. Whatever else is true of the man, old Zack Attack has a habit of making properties his own, and nowhere is this more true (or more divisive) than what was meant to be the launchpad for a DC cinematic universe to rival Marvel's. This darker, more somber take on the big blue boy scout made plenty of scratch in its day, and in the years since release has accumulated its fair share of defenders as well as detractors. Which category will Nathan and Elliot fall into? Join the fight for truth, justice, and the obliteration of the American cityscape by listening in to find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Action! Adventure! Red lines gliding across maps! These are the three essential hallmarks of an Indiana Jones flick, yet if there’s one thing the franchise has taught us, it’s that everyone’s favorite Bond alternative is more than the sum of his parts, or at least that just tossing the aforementioned ingredients into a mixing bowl and stirring vigorously won’t always yield cinematic magic. That was the lesson learned by Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, the 1984 Spielberg-directed sequel to Raiders of the Lost Ark that was (until 2008) widely held to be the low point of the adventuring archeologist. While hardly trashed upon release, Temple of Doom still failed to achieve the critical adulation of its predecessor, largely thanks to its darker tone and, uh, let’s say inauthentic depiction of Indian cuisine. What, however, does this movie look like in a post Crystal Skull (and Dial of Destiny) world? Has time, distance, and a few rough sequels boosted its prospects, or does it remain among the black sheep? Crack your whips and guard your hearts, let’s find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

This is all Nathan’s fault. Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Where would we be without scientists? Why, without those brave men and women in labcoats, we’d still be in the center of the solar system, treating low spirits with leeches, and knocking back shots of radium to improve the sheen of our hair or whatever. Clearly, then, your worst high school subject has done plenty of good for humankind, but what about when science goes too far? What about when chemistry is put to (gasp) evil ends? That’s how you end up disinterring and chopping up corpses to mix and match parts for a new body like you were replacing your Captain America action figure’s arm with one from an old power ranger toy. I’m talking, of course, about Mary Shelly’s 1818 novel Frankenstein and its countless film adaptations, one of the most beloved being The Curse of Frankenstein, a 1957 horror movie directed by Terrence Fisher. Frankenstein, The Curse of was well reviewed at the time, and has continued to receive favorable retrospectives thanks to its adept performances, dark Gothic tone, and (for the time) shocking violence, but will the Magellans at the Movies review it with similar warmth? It’s alive! It’s a-live podcast, so get listening! (This podcast is not actually live, it was prerecorded in a Midwestern American basement) Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Ah, to be alive in the 70s. The age that saw the countercultural movement reach the height of its powers, the first bombardment of Star Wars’ conquest of human culture, and a series of shiny new leaders with shiny new ideas rise to the top in the east and west. Yes, the 70s was a tumultuous time, but if Vietnam had you down or Brezhnev was on your back, at least you could always unwind with a cigarette and a film, and there was no shortage of films (or cigarettes, for that matter), to choose from. As the politics and society of humankind continued to evolve, so too did movies, leaving the modern film buff with a frankly overwhelming catalogue in which to search for gems. If that volume seems insurmountable, let Magellans at the Movies do the work for you with their latest expedition into the history of film, this time focusing on the best of the 70s! I am not a crook, I’m just an unpaid intern telling you to stop reading and start the episode! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/