Making Hesstory

By the time our kids are around four years old they'll be able to begin differentiating between socially desirable and undesirable behavior. At this point they'll start recognizing which kids they like (or don't like) to be around.This doesn’t mean that we begin teaching them when they turn four. Rather it means that the behavior that we either confront or condone up until that point will play a role in their long-term socialization.Believe it or not, kids will respect parents who are both loving and firm. Kids will respect parents who understand their authority and use it to set limits and standards. By default kids are selfish and immature, and they'll need our help growing out of those childish tendencies.In this episode we discussed the importance of intentionally helping our kids sort out the difference between socially desirable and undesirable behavior, and how to use our authority lead and serve them well.

The Bible is filled with some really fun and, if we're being honest, weird events and experiences.God has always had a way of getting things done while not being overly concerned with whether or not we would find His methods “normal” or “logical.”When Jesus came on the scene He both taught and demonstrated the ways of God's Kingdom. He healed the sick, raised the dead, cast out demons, and He also heard people's thoughts and walked on water.Simply put, Jesus wasn’t bound by the laws of nature, logic, and reason that we observe in what we would consider to be the natural order of things in our daily lives.While the topic of the “supernatural” and the Holy Spirit’s continued (or discontinued) active involvement in our lives is one of debate in the church today, we wanted to share some of the amazing experiences we’ve had.Specifically, with our kids.Who better to experience the supernatural activity of the Holy Spirit than sweet, innocent, and wonder-filled kids.Join us as we share real life stories of the times we’ve seen the Holy Spirit do amazing, fun, and supernatural things with our kids.

The mind, which contains our thoughts (ideas, beliefs, opinions, images, and memories) also contains our feelings (emotions, sensations, and desires).Too often our feelings are allowed to dictate the direction of our life, our decisions, our habits, and our identity.This is unfortunate, because while feelings can be great servants, they make terrible masters.In the interest of pursuing a transformation of character and becoming more like Jesus, we need to give great consideration to our feelings, particularly our desires.Join us as we discuss what seems to be very timely and relevant, given the US presidential election and all the big feelings that come with it.In this episode we also covered the potential we have to become people whose joy and peace are not reliant upon the quality of our circumstances, which can fluctuate from day to day, but on the quality of the character of Jesus, who is always good and always faithful.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind..." - Romans 12:2Your mind is caught in a battle between two opposing Kingdoms; the Kingdom of God and that of the world.Either of these kingdoms will, if you allow them, be the influence that shapes how you think and feel.One difference is that the influence of the Kingdom of God only comes through intentional focus and pursuit. In the absence of intentionality to be discipled by Jesus and learning the ways of His Kingdom, our minds will be, by default, relegated to the influence of the world.In the interest of living the life Jesus calls us to live, we need our minds to be a product of His teaching and leading.We need our minds to be centered around God - His truth, His Word, His presence, and His character, His values, and His ways.Join Brian and Katie as they discuss the importance of leaning into God and His Word for the shaping of our mind and our understanding of truth.

Brian had an opportunity to sit down with Chris Dupré and hear his story - one of love, redemption, forgiveness, restoration, and grace.His story is also one of meeting Jesus, but not in the way most people do.He met Jesus face to face, and, well, everything changed for him after that.Hopefully this piqued your interest, because this is a story that everyone needs to hear. Chris Dupré is also an author, and has written several amazing books, a few of which can be found by clicking the links below.The Wild Love of GodUnstuckThe Love Project

Brian and Katie continued the conversation on the need for continued growth and transformation that comes by the power of the gospel of Jesus.It can be easy to feel stuck in a way of existing and behaving, wanting to change and see growth, but not knowing how to go about it.Behavior modification is typically the go-to method. And while it might work as a short term solution to the problem of our own undesirable behavior, the only long term solution is to sit at the feet of Jesus and allow ourselves to be transformed by His love.Join us as we continue bridging the gap between the truth that in Christ we are new creations with a new nature and the reality that we don't always act like it.Correction from this episode: Jesus was not questioned by His disciples, but by the religious leaders regarding paying taxes to Caesar.Links form this episode:https://music.apple.com/us/album/lord-of-the-rings-but-its-lofi-ep/1611229750

Do you ever find yourself, like so many others, trapped in a cycle of shame - feeling inadequate, wanting to change and grow - but not knowing how?Often we're told, whether by family, friends, or social media influencers, what it is that we need to do. If you're a parent, you need to be (patient, kind, peaceful, gentle, etc...).The problem is, few people are actually telling us how to go about this transformation.Behavior modification and sin-management isn't the answer, because it has proven to fail for as long as people have been alive.Our behavior is a manifestation of the content of our heart and mind, both of which are needing to be tended to and cared for. If we're going to become the people we dream we can be, living the life we dream we can live, one of true and lasting peace and joy, then need to tap into something greater than our own power. We need Jesus. We need His gospel. We need His Kingdom.Join Brian and Katie as they share their own experience of desiring change and growth, and coming to the realization that it is only through the power and grace of God that it is truly possible.

This week Brian and Katie continued the conversation on goals, and discussed the possibility that by aiming for the good things in life we'll miss out on experiencing the best things.Machiavelli is often quoted for saying that "the ends justify the means."While he isn't exactly a role model of ours, it got us thinking about these two questions:1. Is it true that the ends justify the means? Is it true that we'll typically feel justified in doing whatever we need to in achieving the success of our goals?2. If it's true that the ends justify the means, then what justifies the ends? In other words, what is our method for determining what our goals ought to be in each area of life, and what is our method for determining the health of our goals?Join Brian and Katie as they unpack some of the goals that are often set up in people lives based on what is believed to be good, but will often come at the expense of what is best.

When we have a goal in life, whether it's having a healthier marriage, making more money, or raising obedient kids, we need to keep in mind that the action we take will be easily justified, so long as it appears to lead to the success of achieving that goal.The more you want to have more money, the less you'll worry about whether or not your methods come at the expense of the well-being of other people.The more you want to raise obedient kids, the easier it will be for you to justify the use of fear, threat of punishment, and shame, as long as it ends with your kids doing what you want them to do.Join Brian and Katie this week as they explore the possibility that the things we often pursue in life are not inherently bad things, but they would better serve us as an outcome of a more excellent, Kingdom-minded goal.

Culture exists everywhere.Every place - from restaurants, to doctor's offices, to homes, and everything in between has a culture.The creating of a culture cannot be escaped. Where you find people, you'll find values, and where you find values you will find culture.Join Brian and Katie on this episode as they discuss the importance of understanding how cultures are developed, and how to avoid accidentally creating an undesirable culture in your home.P.S.We mentioned out church in this episode - here's a link to the website in case you're curious!https://beloveco.org

This week Brian and Katie continued the conversation on the purpose of boundaries.Boundaries exist to protect values, and values are revealed by what we say "yes" to.Therefore, the goal is not to establish boundaries, because every day we say "yes" to spending our time, energy, and money. Rather, the goal is to evaluate the boundaries that have already been established, and reassess whether or not changes need to be made.And in order to understand whether or not changes need to be made to our hierarchy of values, we need to consider whether or not our values and boundaries are existing to support the vision of who we want to become and the direction we want our lives to go.

This week Brian and Katie discuss the purpose and necessity of establishing boundaries in our relationships.Boundaries can either be a life-giving, relationship-strengthening, and resource-protecting tool, or it can be something that we construct for the sake of building a life that is centered around selfish desire and an unwillingness to be inconvenienced or uncomfortable.Join us this week as we identify the nature and purpose of boundaries, and how to use them effectively to improve the quality of our lives and relationships.

Have you ever considered the relationship between our thoughts, beliefs, expectations, and experiences?On this episode Brian and Katie discuss something called the belief-expectation cycle, and why it's important that we actively pursue the development of healthy beliefs and expectations.Too often people allow their beliefs to be formed solely on the basis of their experiences, but if we're to live the life that God is inviting us to live then it is necessary that we learn to submit our thoughts, beliefs, and expectations to God's Word and align ourselves with truth as He sees it.

This week Brian and Katie discussed a potentially sensitive topic - childbirth.Katie shared her experience with giving birth to all three of their kids, and they discussed their belief about God and what they believe was His intended design for childbirth.The purpose of this episode is not to shame or minimize the reality of anybody's experience in childbirth. Rather, it is an invitation for women everywhere to explore the realm of God's Kingdom, His goodness, His faithfulness, and what is now made possible through the finished work of Christ.Jesus made a way for us to live a life that is free from the power and dominion of all that accompanied the fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, including sin and it's affects on the human experience.Join Brian and Katie as they look back to the Garden of Eden and consider the reality that through Christ we are being restored to fulfill the role He originally intended us to fulfill - to be carriers of His presence and authority, and to be His representatives to the rest of creation.

Two things that our kids desperately need are freedom and boundaries. The trick is finding the right balance between the two, because too much of one without the other will create problems.Too much freedom without boundaries and your home will become a place of chaos, where the parents are weak and permissive and the kids are in charge.Too many boundaries without freedom and your home will become a place of totalitarianism, where the parents are angry and controlling and the kids are afraid.What would it look like to create an environment where kids are given space to exercise their God-given freedom while being shown where the boundaries of that freedom lie?Join Brian and Katie as they share their experience in finding ways to navigate this with their own kids—with one who thrives on the safety of boundaries and another who thrives on the testing of boundaries.Subscribe at makinghesstory.com for updates, announcements, and more content!Intro & Outro music: Lion by Khozie

Join Brian & Katie as they discuss the difference between demanding and requiring certain behavior from our kids.The temptation is to demand that which we desire, but the problem with this approach is that it leads to fear, control, and intimidation.The alternative to demanding desirable behavior from our kids is to require it from them.It's not bad to want kids who are respectful, responsible, and obedient, but the value of each of those is found in knowing that they only truly exist in our relationships as a product of freedom and desire, not coercion under threat of punishment.In this episode you'll learn how to require what you need from your kids without the tension and power struggle that comes with demanding it.

Join Brian and Katie Hess as they explore what makes kids so good at being kids, and what they need from their parents in order to grow up and mature out of their childish ways.Unfortunately, there are many parents who hold their kids to a higher standard of maturity than they're willing or capable of modeling themselves.For the sake of our kids, we need to become as whole and healthy as we possibly can so that, rather than demanding unrealistic expectations, we are prepared to model the very behavior we wish to see in them.

Brian and Katie discuss the three types of consequences - natural, logical, and illogical.If you have kids, they're going to make mistakes. They're going to fail. They're going to do things that you wish they wouldn't do.One of the best things we can do for our kids when they fail or make a mistake is create an opportunity for them to learn and grow, and one of the best teachers our kids will have in life are the consequences of their actions.Kids who are not required to experience the consequences of a mistake are likely to keep making that mistake. Similarly, kids who experience consequences that are illogical may not make the connection between their choice and the outcome.Join us in this episode as we discuss the importance of allowing our kids to experience the natural and logical consequences of their actions in an effort to help them become more mature and responsible people.Intro and Outro music: Lion by Khozie

Don’t listen to this episode with your kids unless you want them to learn the anatomically correct words for all of their body parts!Brian and Katie continue the discussion on the reality that people and relationships require freedom of choice, and the role that consequences play in the development of responsibility and intentionality.If we want our kids to grow up to become healthy, responsible, mature, thoughtful, intentional people, then we need to eliminate the tactics of fear, control, and intimidation, and simply allow them to experience the consequences of their actions.If we can teach our kids at a young age that the direction of their life is shaped by the choices they make, we'll set them up to succeed in adulthood.

Too often parents feel that it's their responsibility to control their kids in an effort to eliminate the potential for mistakes and bad choices that their kids could make. Unfortunately, this parenting model is likely to do more harm than good.When parents make an effort, whether knowingly or unknowingly, to control their kids, they end up preventing them from developing the ability to control themselves and manage their own freedom.In this episode Brian and Katie Hess take a look at the story of Adam and Eve in Genesis 1-3 and discuss why freedom of choice is absolutely necessary in the cultivating of healthy relationships and responsibility.