Making Yourself Clear

🔍 Episode Summary:You know those conversations where someone gives you an answer that’s technically correct… but still leaves you confused, misled, or frustrated?In this episode, Chris and Patrick introduce four unwritten rules for clear communication—based on philosopher H.P. Grice’s famous “Maxims of Conversation.” These rules govern how we speak so that others understand, and how to listen for clarity or misdirection.With real-life examples, smart humor, and practical insight, they explore how these rules show up (or fall apart) in politics, relationships, and everyday conversations.Whether you're leading a team, parenting a teenager, or just trying to be less misunderstood, this one’s for you.💡 What You’ll Learn:• Why “technically true” isn’t always clear• How to recognize when someone is dodging, deflecting, or confusing on purpose• Four practical rules to follow in any conversation• How to communicate clearly without oversharing or under-delivering• The subtle difference between being accurate and being helpful🎧 Listen now and sharpen your ability to speak clearly, listen critically, and make yourself understood—every time.👥 Let’s ConnectWebsite: https://www.makingyourselfclear.com/Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/31PIiklfkBV3fwbCt9i20hApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/making-yourself-clear/id1798973268RSS Feed: https://media.rss.com/makingyourselfclear/feed.xmliHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-making-yourself-clear-269115710/Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b62ac464-9205-46bf-a4e8-f66a16fd61e1/making-yourself-clearCastbox: https://castbox.fm/channel/id6491442

🔍 Episode Summary:Setting boundaries is essential—but for many people, it feels uncomfortable, guilt-inducing, or downright scary. In this episode, Chris and Patrick unpack the art of boundary-setting in a way that’s honest, kind, and clear (and occasionally funny).They explore why saying “yes” too much can leave you depleted, how to shift your inner narrative around “no,” and why boundaries aren’t about pushing people away—they’re about protecting what matters. Along the way, they offer practical tips, relatable stories, and even a few tongue-in-cheek metaphors (yes, including electric fences and cattle prods).If you’ve ever struggled to set limits without feeling like a jerk, this episode is for you.💡 What You’ll Learn:Why boundaries are an act of self-respect (not selfishness)How to set limits without guilt or apologyScripts and strategies for saying “no” with clarity and kindnessWhat to do when someone pushes past your boundaryWhy your internal narrative matters just as much as your words🎧 Listen now and learn how to protect your time, energy, and sanity—without burning bridges.👥 Let’s ConnectWebsite: https://www.makingyourselfclear.com/Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/31PIiklfkBV3fwbCt9i20hApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/making-yourself-clear/id1798973268RSS Feed: https://media.rss.com/makingyourselfclear/feed.xmliHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-making-yourself-clear-269115710/Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b62ac464-9205-46bf-a4e8-f66a16fd61e1/making-yourself-clearCastbox: https://castbox.fm/channel/id6491442

Some conversations change the course of your life—and you don’t always see them coming. But when you do know in advance that a conversation could be high stakes, what do you do with that knowledge? In this episode, Chris and Patrick introduce the CPR framework: a simple, powerful method for preparing to have high-stakes conversations with greater clarity, purpose, and respect. Whether you're navigating tough feedback, negotiating a relationship change, or facing a conflict that matters, this episode offers a roadmap for walking in ready—and walking out proud of how you showed up. 💡 What You’ll Learn: 1. Why preparation is the secret to high-quality dialogue 2. The 3-part CPR Framework: Context: What stance do I want to adopt for this interaction?Purpose: Why am I doing this? Results: What do I want to accomplish? 3. How just 20 minutes of prep can make the difference between a blow-up and a breakthrough Why CPR is more than a strategy—it’s a commitment to showing up effectively when it matters most. 👥 Let’s Connect Website: https://www.makingyourselfclear.com/ Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/31PIiklfkBV3fwbCt9i20h Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/making-yourself-clear/id1798973268 RSS Feed: https://media.rss.com/makingyourselfclear/feed.xml iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-making-yourself-clear-269115710/ Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/b62ac464-9205-46bf-a4e8-f66a16fd61e1/making-yourself-clear Castbox: https://castbox.fm/channel/id6491442

In a world of curated highlight reels and shallow small talk, real connection can feel like a lost art. In this episode, Chris and Patrick argue that deep, meaningful connection requires us to be a little messy, a little vulnerable, and a lot more intentional. They explore why we often feel most connected during our least polished moments — and how embracing emotional risk creates space for deeper conversations. Along the way, they share practical tips and mindsets to help you go deeper with the people in your life and start building bonds that actually matter.What You’ll Learn:Why vulnerability is essential for true connectionHow shallow habits (like quick replies) are silently blocking intimacyPractical ways to deepen your everyday conversationsHow better listening and better questions can transform your relationshipsBuilding deeper relationships starts with asking better questions. Here are five conversation starters designed to move beyond the surface and open the door to real connection.1. "What’s something you’re excited about that most people wouldn’t expect?"This helps reveal hidden passions and sparks surprising conversations.2. "When was a time you felt truly seen by someone?"A powerful way to invite emotional vulnerability and personal storytelling.3. "What’s something that’s been on your mind lately, even if it feels small?"Shows care for the little (but meaningful) thoughts we often keep hidden.4. "What does feeling 'at home' mean to you?"Gets at people's sense of belonging, safety, and authenticity.5. "What’s something you wish people would ask you about more often?"A direct, generous way to offer someone the chance to share what matters most to them.Remember: Use these questions not as checklists, but as invitations. Go slow. Stay curious. Listen deeply.Connection isn't found by staying safe — it's built by going deeper.

🎙️ Episode Summary In this episode of Making Yourself Clear, Chris and Patrick take on one of the most misunderstood and misused tools in communication: feedback. They begin by rejecting the outdated “compliment sandwich” and offer a fresh, practical perspective on what actually makes feedback land—and what makes it awkward or counterproductive. With trademark humor and clarity, they explore why feedback often feels risky, how to avoid triggering defensiveness, and how to shift your mindset from critique to collaboration. Whether you’re a leader, teammate, or just someone who wants to get better at tough conversations, this episode offers the mindset and methods you need to give feedback that actually helps. 🧠 What You'll LearnWhy the “compliment sandwich” doesn’t work What makes feedback effective vs. awkward How to be clear, kind, and direct—without making it weird Tips for giving feedback that builds connection The five-part S-B-I-R-C model for delivering effective feedback: Situation Behaviour Impact Request (or recommendation) Check-in / confirmation 👥 Let’s ConnectWebsite: https://www.makingyourselfclear.com/RSS Feed: https://media.rss.com/makingyourselfclear/feed.xmlSpotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/31PIiklfkBV3fwbCt9i20hApple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/making-yourself-clear/id1798973268iHeartRadio: https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-making-yourself-clear-269115710/

In this episode, Chris and Patrick dive deep into the art of genuine apologies. They explore why most apologies fail, the anatomy of a real apology, and how to avoid common pitfalls when apologizing. The hosts emphasize that effective apologies aren't about relieving your own guilt but about acknowledging harm, taking responsibility, and rebuilding trust. They discuss how proper apologies can strengthen relationships through the "rupture-repair cycle" and provide a practical five-step framework for delivering meaningful apologies.

In this episode, we explore the five levels of listening and how they impact communication, relationships, and personal growth. The discussion covers the importance of deep listening, common barriers, and techniques to enhance listening skills. Listeners will gain insights into how they can become more present and engaged in conversations, fostering deeper connections and understanding.

Chris and Patrick explore strategies for discussing heated topics with people you strongly disagree with. They emphasize the importance of understanding why you want to have such conversations, preparing for emotional triggers, and having a game plan. They recommend being intentional about your mindset — advocating dialogue over debate, perspectives rather than positions, and assuming positive intent. They explore techniques for effective listening, including tapping into genuine curiosity, mirroring, and using the Socratic method to help you understand and potentially influence the other person's viewpoint. Finally, they stress the value of being gracious and grateful throughout the conversation.Getting Clear on Why You Want to Have the ConversationSome motivations, like wanting to mend relationships or broaden perspectives, are positive, while others, like dominating a conversation, are not.Be honest with yourself about intentions and be aware of when higher intentions are compromised by lower ones.Being Intentional About Your MindsetBe intentional about your mindset during the conversation, and choose a context that focuses on dialog rather than debate.Set a mindset of cooperation over conflict, and consider perspectives and values rather than positions.Language can influence the tone of the conversation. Shift from a battle metaphor to a cooperative exploration.Assume positive intent and look for connection over victory.Managing Emotional Reactions and ResponsesResponses are conscious choices; reactions are automatic.Avoid attacking character or body language that conveys contempt.Bring genuine curiosity rather than judgment,Having a Game Plan for the ConversationRole play the conversation in advance with a neutral third party, like a friend or coach.Get into a conducive emotional state before starting the conversation.The "pause and pivot" technique.Inviting the Other Person to the ConversationInvite the other person to the conversation and get their consent.Stating intentions positively.Making Sure the Other Person Feels Heard and RespectedThe importance of listening, not just to respond but to understand and make the other person feel heard.Mirror back what the other person says to show understanding.The Socratic method as a way to understand and persuade.Focusing on Values Rather Than Positions, and Being GraciousFocus on shared values rather than just positions in the conversation.Be gracious and grateful to maintain a positive tone.Focus on shared goals.Checking in and RecalibratingCheck in periodically to see how you're doing against your stated intentions.Celebrate wins and recalibrate if the conversation veers off track.

Chris and Patrick discuss the pitfalls of the suggestion "let's agree to disagree" in arguments, highlighting that it often leaves one or more parties feeling unheard and frustrated. They emphasize the need for mutual understanding before reaching such a conclusion. They argue that "agree to disagree" often signals the end of a conversation without actually resolving anything. They suggest alternatives like like pausing conversations, writing thoughts out, and managing expectations to improve dialogue. Effective communication requires shared context and empathy, which can be especially challenging when communicating via text or in high-stress situations. The conversation highlights the importance of considering the recipient's perspective, being mindful of how messages might be received or even misunderstood, and using clear, respectful language to avoid misunderstandings.