ManTalks Podcast

Talking points: psychology, shame, mindset Trying so hard not to reference the bell ringing lady in Game of Thrones right now. Seriously though, a lot of us let shame run our lives. There are legitimate reasons why, but it doesn't have to stay that way. Listen in for how it starts, why it's so hard to clear, and ten (yes, ten!) thing you can do to break free. (00:00:00) - Intro and how to better define shame (00:03:30) - Why shame is so hard to get rid of: it’s natural, and its has a somatic component (00:08:16) - It also can reinforce trauma. Here’s how they get connected (00:13:52) - Shame as a source of safety (00:18:36) - Understanding the physical side of shame (00:23:21) - What does NOT help (00:25:51) - When to seek professional help (00:26:59) - Ten ways to move through shame. First one? Use curiosity to challenge it (00:30:32) - Mindfulness skills, reframing, and separating personhood from behaviour (00:35:00) - Putting the same in context, treating as a belief vs identity, and putting blame where it belongs (00:40:01) - Finding an alternative story, and practicing expressing boundaries and assertiveness *** Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: masculinity, culture, mindset We've had a lot of new listeners recently, and this interview deserves a ton of attention. Jason's words and work are powerful examples of how important men's work can be. This is a re-release of one of my favorite interviews, one of the most impactful stories, and worth every minute. Dig in for thoughts on comprehensive masculinity, the dangers of "grindset", and so much more. (00:00:00) - Intro and Jason’s defining moment (00:07:45) - The video that got Jason global attention (00:13:22) - Defining “emotional incarceration” and its devastating effect on men (00:18:58) - Why do some men have such an aversion to rest and replenishment? (00:24:52) - How Jason got into martial arts, and how he uses it to support young men (00:33:54) - On the importance and teaching of defeat Jason Wilson is the founder and CEO of the Yunion (pronounced union), a non-profit youth development organization in Detroit Michigan. Since 2003, the Yunion has effectively reached more than 15,000 youth and young adults through innovative prevention programming, trauma-informed care, parental engagement, and counseling. In 2008, Mr. Wilson’s heart for fatherless and misguided black boys inspired him to create and direct the Cave of Adullam Transformational Training Academy (CATTA). As an expert in Emotional Stability Training®, Wilson’s leadership has garnered the CATTA numerous acknowledgments and awards for his work teaching males how to introspectively confront and conquer their negative emotions with composure. In 2016, one of the CATTA’s videos went viral with over 80 million views worldwide. As a result, Mr. Wilson was invited to be a guest on the Dr. Oz Show and to present the CATTA at President Obama’s ‘My Brother’s Keeper’ Showcase at the White House. Later that year, NBC’s hit TV show ‘This Is Us’ was so inspired by Wilson’s work, that they featured the CATTA’s initiation ceremony in one of their most viewed and award winning episodes. In 2018, Mr. Wilson signed with actor/producer Laurence Fishburne’s film company Cinema Gypsy to produce a documentary film on Jason’s work with the CATTA. It is scheduled to be released in 2021. Mr. Wilson has over 25 years of martial arts experience, in addition to over 16 years of training and developing young black males. Mr. Wilson is a man of the Most High, a faithful husband of over 22 years and a proud father of two beautiful children. Connect with Jason -Website: https://mrjasonwilson.com/ -Book, "Battle Cry": https://www.amazon.com/dp/1400226996 -The Yunion: https://theyunion.org/ -The Cave of Adullam Transformational Academy: https://mrjasonwilson.com/catta/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mrjasonowilson/ -Twitter: https://twitter.com/mrjasonowilson -Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mrjasonowilson -Book, "Cry Like A Man": https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07G1YJ7DZ/ *** Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: attachment, relationships Got a LOT of requests for this one! Relationships between anxious attachment and avoidant attachment folks are actually quite common. They can also be extremely tough. Listen in for what they're like, why the patterns are hard to break, and how to move towards a secure, grounded partnership. (00:00:00) - Intro, what characterizes the anxious-avoidant dance, and why there’s no “villain” (00:04:08) - Why that dance is so strong (00:08:28) - Examples of the anxious-avoidant dynamic (00:12:58) - Can anxious-avoidant relationships actually work, how to know if it won’t, and how to END the dance (00:16:56) - The “protest and punishment” behaviors, and how to self-identify if you’re the anxious partner (00:21:23) - How to self-identify if you’re the avoidant one (00:27:05) - So what do you to? Tips for the anxious (00:33:05) - Tips for the avoidant (00:38:19) - What to do together *** Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: relationships, culture, sex, security, family I'm lucky to be interviewing experts in all kinds of fields, but it is consistently enjoyable to dig deep into relationships. What keeps the spark, how couples navigate conflict, and how people can with together to create secure and thriving partnership. Trevor's been at it for a long while, and his gentle yet firm approach is something to be respected. If you're with someone, pull this up and have a listen! (00:00:00) - Intro, and what is the “secret formula” for a successful love life, and what causes good sex in a bad relationship? (00:07:42) - How do you move out of attracting insecure relationships?  (00:12:57) - What can a secure person or couple do to combat potential boredom with a relationship? How can security be sexy? (00:18:43) - The importance of spontaneity for relational satisfaction (00:21:54) - How do you support a partner through fears and insecurities around relationships deepening? (00:27:35) - Navigating criticism, because you can’t criticize your way to a better relationship (00:37:44) - Why Trevor chose to have kids (00:42:43) - Why self-compassion is important, and what it really looks like in action (00:54:33) - Trevor’s thoughts on how to figure out who you really are (00:59:49) - On sharing your relationship and family events online, and why Trevor and his wife kiss in the rain (01:05:38) - What Trevor does to maintain spark in his marriage Trevor Hanson is a licensed marital and family therapist specializing in EFT, or emotionally focused therapy. Combining the depth of a therapist with the pratical guidance of a coach, Trevor works to bring empathy, acceptance, fun and gentle accountability to therapy. You can find more of him on his podcast "The Art of Healing." Connect with Trevor -Website: https://theartofhealingbytrevor.com/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theartofhealingbytrevor/ *** Henson Shaving brought this episode to you! No more nicks, no more cuts—and best of all, no more subscriptions. Go to https://hensonshaving.com and enter MANTALKS at checkout to get 100 free blades with your purchase. (Note: you must add both the 100-blade pack and the razor for the discount to apply.) Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: leadership, accountability, group settings, masculinity If you're thinking about starting a men's group, or just want to know what to look out for, this one's for you. With everything going on in the world, I want to dig a little into creating your own men’s group—or what to look out for if you’re thinking of joining one. Because the truth is there are legions of men who would benefit from belonging to something focused on the mutual benefit of everyone involved. Seriously. (00:00:00) - Intro, and five traits to look for in the men you want for your group (00:07:58) - Where most guys go wrong: lack of leadership, clear roles, and overstructure (00:09:42) - The right amount of structure, and consequences of too much victimhood and not enough accountability (00:12:31) - What are some of the core ingredients of a powerful men’s group? Number 1: some like-mindedness (00:13:54) - A clear purpose, and clear rules of engagement (00:17:04) - A culture of calling one another forward, and strong moderation (00:19:48) - Willingness to say (and hear) hard stuff, transparency, and confronting the uncomfortable (00:22:02) - An example meeting structure that works (00:26:42) - The Hot Seat and how to use it, and a closing ritual (00:30:14) - Be flexible to red alerts, and final thoughts on structure *** Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: culture, parenting, psychology, lying Parenting has never been easy, but our modern culture adds a few extra layers of challenge and questions. Fortunately (and sometimes unfortunately, as you might have found out), there's a mountain of info online. This week, I sat down with the brilliant Dr. Aliza Pressman to dig into what works, what doesn't, what parents are facing these days, and how to sift through it all. Lots of great info here for anyone who's got kids or who's thinking about it. Seriously. (00:00:00) - What kind of landscape are parents in now, and what do you think they’ll face in the future? (00:11:15) - How do parents prep their kids for the onslaught that is social media? (00:14:43) - Defining executive function, and how to build an environment that helps cultivate it (00:25:03) - How do you help your kid develop good impulse control? (00:32:09) - The early stages of development: what’s going on? (00:37:56) - On learning how to manage discomfort, create safety, and the importance of roughhousing (00:53:03) - What does effective discipline look like for children? (01:01:00) - How to handle lying Dr. Aliza Pressman is a developmental psychologist with nearly two decades of experience working with families and the health care providers who care for them. She is the author of the New York Times bestselling book THE 5 PRINCIPLES OF PARENTING: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans, and the host of the award-winning podcast Raising Good Humans. Aliza is the co-founding director of The Mount Sinai Parenting Center and is an assistant clinical professor at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai Hospital. She holds degrees from Dartmouth College, Teacher’s College, and Columbia University. Aliza is the mother of two teenagers. Connect with Aliza -Website: https://draliza.com/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisinggoodhumanspodcast/ -Book: https://amzn.to/3TNDhZ0 -Podcast: Raising Good Humans: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/raising-good-humans -Substack: https://dralizapressman.substack.com/ *** Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: attachment, psychology, mindset, relationships Alright team, this is one of the biggest guides yet! There were a TON of requests to cover this one, so I happily obliged. This attachment style is also called "disorganized attachment", and I've worked with a ton of men who have it. So let's dig in on what fearful-avoidant attachment is, how it affects relationships, and how to move back towards something more secure, authentic, and thriving with easy, deliberate steps. (00:00:00) - Intro and defining fearful-avoidant attachment, and how conflicting it can feel (00:08:20) - Where this attachment style starts, and what makes it different from anxious and avoidant (00:13:19) - What does fearful-avoidant look like in a relationship?  (00:15:38) - What builds a fearful-avoidant style? Neglect and/or inconsistency (00:23:33) - One of the most important (and unspoken) needs of a child (00:28:19) - Parentification, one of the most common causes of fearful-avoidant attachment  (00:33:37) - More on what this looks like in a relationship: control, distrust,  (00:35:57) - Wanting closeness but fearing closeness, difficulty regulating emotions, and negativity (00:38:24) - On being disappointed by others, protection from rejection, and concentration  (00:40:02) - The big one: inability to self-soothe (00:41:40) - So what do we do? Two BIG steps (00:45:24) - On how to self-regulate/self-soothe, and starting with the breath (00:50:20) - Find someone to help you work with your hypervigilance (00:53:07) - Develop consistent connection with your partner (or with friends). Here’s how (00:56:53) - Build trust. Slowly. Over time (00:59:46) - Set boundaries with the fear-based thoughts in your head *** Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: purpose, initiation, adversity, grief, culture It isn't always easy to find a sense of purpose or meaning in life, never mind feeling initiated into maturity. In these chaotic times, it gets even harder. This is a special compilation episode featuring four masters of finding humanity, clarity, and meaning in life. Their combined efforts have helped legions of people get a better handle on life and all of its twists and turns. Two of them are people I revere as elders, and three work with men and purpose on a regular basis. Featuring ideas from... -Lion tracker, coach, and storyteller Boyd Varty: https://boydvarty.com/ -Depth psychologist Francis Weller: https://www.francisweller.net/ -Culture activist Stephen Jenkinson (unreleased material!): https://orphanwisdom.com/ -Writer, teacher, and coach Rainier Wylde: https://www.rainierwylde.com/ -Purpose guide Tim Corcoran: https://www.purposemountain.com/ (00:00:00) - Boyd Varty on the role initiation plays in a man’s life—and what happens without it (00:16:20) - Francis Weller on why we need to (but can’t seem to) handle the unknown, failure, and grief (00:25:45) - Why the soul needs failure to find meaning, and how Francis runs grief workshops (00:30:35) - Given our current times, what does it mean to be a “generative ancestor”? (00:33:05) - Stephen Jenkinson on what defines and gives meaning to your humanity (00:39:47) - Rainier Wylde on how to find a sense of purpose in chaotic times (00:55:27) - Tim Corcoran on how to practically define purpose, and what’s often in the way (01:05:29) - Where does the “soul” fit into all of this? *** Henson Shaving brought this episode to you! No more nicks, no more cuts—and no more subscriptions! Go to https://hensonshaving.com and enter MANTALKS at checkout to get 100 free blades with your purchase. (Note: you must add both the 100-blade pack and the razor for the discount to apply.) Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: psychology, mindset, self-talk This is one of THE things that blocks men from all kinds of growth and progress. An internal dialogue that is harsh, abusive, shaming, even cruel. Let's change that, shall we? If you or someone you know is constantly deprecating or talking negatively towards themselves, strongly encourage you to share this one. It's important. (00:00:00) - Intro, how prevalent a harsh inner critic is, and how nasty mine was (00:06:56)- Where does an inner critic come from, and how is it formed? (00:11:13) - Neglect and abandonment (00:15:52) - Trauma as an origin for a harsh inner critic (00:16:57) - “Dark motivation” and it’s useful but maladaptive power (00:23:15) - It damages your ability to appreciate or validate yourself (00:24:45) - What to do, what NOT to do, and questions you can use to find your inner critic’s origin (00:28:09) - Figure out what it wants (00:29:51) - Set some boundaries (00:31:34) - Repurpose the loyal soldier (00:34:31) - Build a relationship with this part of you *** Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: parenting, children, attachment, psychology You may have heard me mention Duey before. He co-facilitates the ManTalks Men's Weekends with me, and his work is absolutely incredible. I was thrilled to sit down with him last week, just before our sojourn to Texas. We dive into all things attachment. How children and adults experience it, when it starts forming, and how my own son has taught me some incredible lessons on it. Also, listen in for Thunderbutt. No, I'm not kidding. (00:00:00) - Intro and Duey’s take on why real elders don’t seek power (00:10:08) - How do we begin to truly understand our partner? (00:15:49) - On the importance of curiosity and not assuming you know someone—especially your partner (00:21:28) - What are the building blocks of really healthy attachment? (00:30:52) - Attachment is somatic, and how children are inherently, incredibly sensitive (00:45:27) - What “interrupts” attachment? Duey Freeman, MA, LPC is co-founder of the Gestalt Equine Institute of the Rockies, director of the Gestalt Institute of the Rockies, and owner of his psychotherapy private practice. After teaching for 24 years at Naropa University he has decided to move in a more creative direction. Most recently, in collaboration with Kimberly Beck M Ed, he has created: The Coming Home Project and Relational Rewilding Retreats. A licensed psychotherapist, teacher, and consultant, Duey has extensive training and experience in gestalt therapy, equine therapy, family therapy, bioenergetics, and counseling with children and adolescents. Duey joined Naropa in 1992 and has been extensively involved in the creation of the Gestalt, Human Development, and Family Systems programs. He has helped to develop the Equine section of the Wilderness Therapy certification and degree. He taught for the University of Northern Colorado, traveling across Colorado teaching and working with schools systems supporting teachers to better understand and work with the children they teach. Throughout the year, Duey partners with professional therapists and skilled horsemen and women worldwide to provide psychotherapy, Gestalt Equine Psychotherapy, parenting and human development workshops, and Relational Horsemanship classes. Some of Duey's partners include Joan Rieger, Duane Mullner, Erika Friess, Megan Powers, Rosemary Wyndham-Jones, Rob Pliskin, Kristi Moon, Kimberly Beck, and Amy and Steve LeSatz. *** This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Become your own soulmate, whether you’re looking for one or not. Visit BetterHelp.com/ManTalks today to get 10% off your first month. This episode is also brought to you by Factor. Chef-prepared meals made easy, made healthy, and hey, no mess after! Check out factormeals.com/mantalks50 for 50% off your first box! Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: mindset, psychology, the shadow If you've been following the show for a while, you'll know I'm a big Jung fan. You also don't have dive too deep into his work to find game-changing ideas of his. Here are 3 short yet sublime ideas of Jung's that you can reflect on—and maybe even execute on—pretty much right away. (00:00:00) - Intro (00:01:46) - “Who looks inside, dreams. Who looks outside, awakens.” (00:06:00) - “I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.” (00:10:12) - “Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.” *** Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: AI, porn, relationships, conflict Yowza. So grateful for Matthia's thoughtful and nuanced ideas on everything from artificial intelligence to therapy-speak to anger and approaching relationships. We go from the esoteric to the practical and back again, so listen in team. This is a great one to share with a partner. (00:00:00) - Intro, Matthia’s adventures with AI, and how it's already shifting culture (00:16:42) - When AI does things TOO well (00:20:32 ) - How AI will impact intimate relationships and the porn industry (00:30:37) - What do AI and AI porn mean for the next generation, and how they’ll be impacted (00:35:17) - How technology always has unintended consequences (00:43:05) - Why does everyone seem like a narcissist according to online commentary? (00:50:40) - On villain/powerlessness dynamics, and mature anger, and how trauma therapy is like a software update (00:58:20) - How couples can end cycling or repeat conflicts (01:05:55) - Mathia’s non-negotiables for lasting intimacy and deep relationship Matthias is a psychotherapist and the CEO and co-founder of the Trauma Institute with Dr. Frank Anderson, providing clinical training for psychotherapists and education for the general public on healing from trauma. He is widely recognized for his unique approach to making mental health knowledge and skills accessible to the wider public. Through platforms like Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, and his top-ranking Spotify podcast, Matthias delivers psychoeducational content to a following of over 3 million people. Barker's innovative blend of engaging content and relevant mental health advice has fostered a vibrant online community centered on healing, personal growth, and moving toward what’s meaningful despite hardship. Connect with Matthias -Website: https://matthiasjbarker.com/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/matthiasjbarker/ -YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCim71w-GtC46Vr48RbowBSw *** This episode is brought to you by Miracle Made. These are wildly good sheets, team. Silver-infused threads inspired by NASA, antibacterial, and thermoregulating. Head to TryMiracle.com/ManTalks to save 40% if you order today, PLUS another 20% (and 3 free towels) if you use the code MANTALKS. Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: mindset, emotions, habits, burnout Ever get the feeling you...don't feel anything? Yeah, me too. This is something that affects just about everyone at some point in their lives, and it contributes to overuse of all kinds of coping mechanisms. Here's what numbing out is, where it comes from, and a five-step method on how to get out of it. (00:00:00) - Intro and the biggest misconceptions around numbing out (00:05:26)- Don’t see numbness as a villain, and some numbness “caveats” (00:09:29) - What causes us to numb out? How is it a learned response? (00:14:55) - What we need to know before we stop numbing out (00:17:22) - The first step: what are you using to numb out? (00:18:36) - Create a plan, and why you shouldn’t expect cold turkey to go well (00:21:42) - If you have trauma, there’s a caveat (00:23:32) - Numbness is itself an experience (00:25:17) - Use your breath to reconnect to your body. Here’s why (00:31:03) - Look for sensation (00:33:45) - Final step: letting the sensations have a voice *** Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | and yes, even TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: stoicism, mindset, philosophy, parenting Brian proves that Stoicism is anything but unenthusiastic. We cover so much ground here, and Brian's passion and joy for what he does is inspiring. If you're looking for clearcut ideas on how to craft a self and a life that you're proud of, this is the episode to listen to—and share with your friends! (00:00:00) - Intro and Brian’s defining moment (00:06:50) - What is areté? (00:09:02) - Why has there been a resurgence of stoicism? (00:14:42) - Brian on how to parent when things are floundering, and how stoicism tackles fear and laziness (00:21:24) - How does Brain raise his own son in an increasingly chaotic world? (00:28:47) - What are some challenges young boys face today that are unequivocally different than before? (00:39:11) - How does someone use Stoic principles to build more discipline with things turning to punishment? (00:45:56) - “So…do I just have to go through the suck then?” (00:51:54) - The science of hope (01:00:27) - What is “targeted thinking”? (01:03:40) - The practicals of antifragile confidence (01:12:05) - How do you develop your own protocols for building your own antifragile confidence? Brian Johnson is the Founder & CEO of Heroic Public Benefit Corporation. He’s 50% Philosopher + 50% CEO and 101% committed to helping create a world in which 51% of humanity is flourishing by the year 2051. As a Founder/CEO he’s raised $25M+, made crowdfunding history, and built and sold two social platforms. As a Philosopher/teacher, he’s helped millions of people from around the world, trained 10,000+ Heroic Coaches from 100+ countries and created a protocol that science says changes lives. He lives in the country outside Austin, Texas, with his wife, Alexandra, and their two kids, Emerson and Eleanor. Connect with Brian -Website: https://www.heroic.us/arete -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heroicbrian/ -YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRhEwzsFYLGcMa4m2AbTAoA -Heroic App, iOS: https://apple.co/4c7uUQk, Android: https://bit.ly/3VcaKi2 *** Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | and yes, even TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: coaching, therapy, masculinity, mental health Eyebrow-raising title aside, I know from personal experience it can be wildly difficult for coaches and therapists who work with men to make actual progress. But! There are clearcut reasons for this, and there are clearcut things you can do. So if you're a coach or therapist who wants a better experience for both you AND the guy in your chair, listen in. If you're not one of those, then use this as a guide to help you find a coach that's right for you! (00:00:00) - Intro (00:01:50)- Therapists tend to work with men the same way they’d word with women (00:04:00) - The major reasons coaches/therapists struggle to get results (00:09:42) - So how do you actually get results? And why rapport is so important (00:11:38) - Get him out of his head and into his body (00:16:05) - Develop the skills to truly be with his intensity (00:20:54) - Identify where he feels he lacks competency—and build a plan (00:22:50) - Learn to work with a man’s resistance, and repurpose his inner critic (00:25:04) - Learn how (and when) to confront him on his BS (00:25:58) - Be a friend *** Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | and yes, even TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: food, addiction, cravings I've gotta say, I enjoyed this one a lot. Glenn has a TON of practical, actionable, and science-based advice on tackling cravings—and a nice dose of good humor. Grab a pencil and listen close for this one, team. (00:00:00) - Intro (00:02:26)- Why are so many North Americans overweight? (00:10:01) - Glenn on the declining quality of food (00:17:24) - Getting away from packaged food is generally more important than a specific diet (00:19:57) - Why is overeating such a thing, how do we approach letting go of that, and “organismic distress” (00:39:24) - More helpful examples of organismic distress (00:43:17) - Where does understanding a craving start? (00:54:53) - How does a craving actually get extinguished, and the “extinction curve” that they take Glenn Livingston, Ph.D. was the long time CEO of a multi-million dollar consulting firm which has serviced several Fortune 500 clients in the food industry. You may have seen his (or his company's) previous work, theories, and research in major periodicals like The New York Times, The Los Angeles Times, The Chicago Sun Times, The Indiana Star Ledger, The NY Daily News, American Demographics, or any of the other major media outlets you see on this page. You may also have heard him on ABC, WGN, and/or CBS radio, or UPN TV. Disillusioned by what traditional psychology had to offer overweight and/or food obsessed individuals, Dr. Livingston spent several decades researching the nature of bingeing and overeating via work with his own clients AND a self-funded research program with more than 40,000 participants. He earned his Ph.D. is in psychology from Yeshiva University in 1991. Connect with Glenn -Website: https://www.defeatyourcravings.com/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/defeatyourcravings/ *** This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Become your own soulmate, whether you’re looking for one or not. Visit BetterHelp.com/ManTalks today to get 10% off your first month. Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | and yes, even TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: anxiety, parents, relationships, attachment Thanks to everyone who's written in on these guides, I love hearing from you. Next up? Anxious attachment. What is it, where does it come from, and what you can do to work yourself—and your relationships—away from it. If you've ever found yourself doing stuff like getting anxious because they didn't text you back or because you need their phone password, this might be the ep for you. Curious about other guides? Check out my free PDF, A Man's Guide To Ending Codependency: https://training.mantalks.com/codependency (00:00:00) - Intro (00:03:14)- The core essence of anxious attachment (00:07:53) - Some differences between secure, avoidant, and anxious attachment (00:09:57) - Causes of anxious attachment; number one, inconsistent parental responses (00:15:08) - Ask yourself: how was my upbringing unpredictable, or where were my parents unpredictable? (00:17:19) - Cause number two: overly intrusive caretakers (00:23:38) - Cause number three: emotional dependence encouraged by caregivers (00:27:03) - Next is parental unavailability or rejection (00:29:45) - Lastly, abuse, trauma, or PTSD (00:30:45) - So what do we do?  (00:34:25) - The biggest, most important piece: learn how to self-regulate. Here’s how (00:41:18) - Solution number two: exposure therapy (00:43:43) - Solution number three: work on your self-esteem and self-worth (00:45:34) - Detach your worth from others’ validation *** Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | and yes, even TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: trauma, hynotherapy, ADHD, insomnia, neurology, psychology Team, this is an episode chock full of info. I've never touched on the subject of hypnotherapy before, but it's interested me for a while. Professor David Spiegel came to dispel some of the misinfo around hypnosis as a therapeutic practice, and he offered a TON of insight into what's really happening in the mind and brain during a proper session. If you've ever been curious about hypnosis or are looking for new healing methods to try out, this is the episode for you. (00:00:00) - Intro (00:03:05)- Myths about hypnosis (00:09:14) - The neurology behind hypnosis (00:17:43) - Neurological similarities between hypnosis and psychedelic experiences (00:24:26) - More on what’s really happening in the brain during a hypnosis session (00:28:35) - Can hypnosis help with ADHD, and how men tend to have difficult accessing a somatic experience (00:35:52) - How can hypnotherapy help with trauma? (00:42:59) - Hypnotherapy and healing the somatic intensity of trauma responses (00:45:33) - David’s new therapeutic app (00:52:12) - “It doesn’t have to be either/or, it can be both/and” (00:56:10) - Insomnia, what’s involved in falling asleep, and how hypnotherapy may help Dr. David Spiegel is Willson Professor and Associate Chair of Psychiatry & Behavioral Sciences, Director of the Center on Stress and Health, and Medical Director of the Center for Integrative Medicine at Stanford University School of Medicine, where he's been a member of the academic faculty since 1975, and was Chair of the Stanford University Faculty Senate from 2010-2011. David has more than 40 years of clinical and research experience studying psycho-oncology, stress and health, pain control, psychoneuroendocrinology, sleep, hypnosis, and conducting randomized clinical trials involving psychotherapy for cancer patients. He's published 13 books, 404 scientific journal articles, and 170 book chapters on hypnosis, psychosocial oncology, stress physiology, trauma, and psychotherapy. His research has been supported by the National Institute of Mental Health, the National Cancer Institute, the National Institute on Aging, the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health, the John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation, the Fetzer Institute, the Dana Foundation for Brain Sciences, and the Nathan S. Cummings Foundation. Connect with David: -David's app, Reveri: https://www.reveri.com/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/reveri/ *** This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Become your own soulmate, whether you’re looking for one or not. Visit BetterHelp.com/ManTalks today to get 10% off your first month. This episode is also brought to you by Factor. Chef-prepared meals made easy, made healthy, and hey, no mess after! Check out factormeals.com/mantalks50 for 50% off your first box! Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | and yes, even TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: relationships, conflict Key word there? Improve. There will always be some form of butting heads, no matter the relationship, no matter how long. But it doesn't have to be something that creates wreckage. It can actually be helpful. Here's what to do. (00:00:00) - Intro (00:02:27)- The first three minutes, and why conflict CAN be productive (00:04:57) - Know the role you tend to play (00:05:47) - Breathe and ground, breathe and ground (00:07:20) - Don’t get stuck in the objective reality and ignore the subjective experience of each other (00:11:33) - After a year, most couples already pretty set-in ways of arguing, aka this is gonna take practice (00:12:42) - Study (and I mean study) the first three minutes of conflict *** Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | and yes, even TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Talking points: biology, nervous system, burnout, mindset, anger I've said a number of times on the show that people with regulated nervous systems are going to be extremely well-equipped for the coming days. To that end, I wanted to bring dysregulation expert Dr. Linnea on to show how important—and how possible—it is be grounded, regulated, and flexible in our responses to life. If you're chronically stressed, THIS is the episode to listen to. (00:00:00) - Intro (00:03:56)- Why is learning about nervous system dysregulation so important? (00:11:09) - What the ultimate core function of the nervous system really is (00:21:08) - The intelligence of anger (00:25:30) - How Dr. Linnea helps people identify and move through their anger (00:33:32) - How much are nervous system issues derived from our parents? (00:37:20) - On children, boundary testing, and how a little bit of adversity is actually beneficial (00:43:35) - What’s more important: developing sensitivity to your current nervous system or understanding (00:53:01) - The Alertness Elevator model (00:59:23) - A five-stage plan to reverse nervous system dysregulation (01:08:30) - The restoration, connection, and expansion stages Dr. Linnea Passaler is a multifaceted health professional whose life and career have been driven by a passion for learning and her desire to assist others. With a degree in oral medicine from the renowned Universitá degli Studi in Milan, she interned at HSR Research- Ospedale San Raffaele – an advanced molecular biology facility located there. This experience kindled her interest and enthusiasm for research and immunology specifically. Through her journey and research, Dr. Linnea was able to recognize the effects of nervous system dysregulation on the sensitive person and how it contributes to conditions like anxiety, burnout, and physical and emotional symptoms. This realization drove her to found ‘Heal Your Nervous System,’ a platform that offers tools and resources to help individuals worldwide understand the root cause of anxiety, burnout, overwhelm, and physical and emotional symptoms Connect with Dr. Linnea -Website: https://healyournervoussystem.com/ -Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/healyournervoussystem -Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/healyournervoussystem -Book: Heal Your Nervous System: https://amzn.to/3SN3HcC *** Build brotherhood in person. Join a Men's Weekend Pick up my book, Men's Work: A Practical Guide To Face Your Darkness, End Self-Sabotage, And Find Freedom: https://mantalks.com/mens-work-book/ Check out some free resources: How To Quit Porn | Anger Meditation | How To Lead In Your Relationship Build brotherhood with a powerful group of like-minded men from around the world. Check out The Alliance.  Enjoy the podcast? If so, please leave a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or Podchaser. It helps us get into the ears of new listeners, expand the ManTalks Community, and help others find the tools and training they’re looking for. And don't forget to subscribe on Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify For more episodes, visit us at ManTalks.com | Facebook | Instagram | Twitter | and yes, even TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices