What if the rush you think is love is actually your nervous system trying to get relief from pain? It could be trauma bonding, where intense emotional highs and lows, fear, inconsistency, or manipulation create a powerful attachment that feels like love… but isn’t. In this episode, I explore the difference between real love and trauma bonding. I share my own experience of a trauma bonding relationship as well as "Eric's" story, a rollercoaster relationship that went from soul mate promi...
In this episode, I explore the world of love cons or romance scams—how they start, why they work on smart men, and the subtle manipulation that turns affection into control. From love bombing to isolation to the inevitable “urgent” request, I let you in on the con artist’s methods so you can see it coming and shut it down before it's too late. I share the real life story of "John" who was love conned out of tens of thousands of dollars, losing both his savings and his heart mistaking in...
Can ChatGPT (or your favorite AI) be your relationship coach? That's the question I explore in the episode. Through Charles’ story—I share how he was using ChatGPT as his "therapist" and what he learned. I go over the pro's and con's of what AI can and cannot do. Hopefully, this episode with leave you with a plan of how to integrate both worlds. Check out the AI vs Real Connection: Can ChatGPT Be Your Relationship Coach, episode. Beyond the Episode (YouTube) Send us a text Support the show ...
I've heard the holiday season referred to as the "lonely season." In this episode, I talk about why this time of year hits so hard for many men—after divorce/break up or even within a loving relationship—and how support, boundaries, and self-compassion can turn the season from crushing you to manageable. You'll hear 2 stories of loneliness in and out of relationship. I also walk you through 10 practical, evidence-based steps to help you get through your days from Thanksgiving to N...
In this BONUS episode, you'll hear my conversation with author and coach Victor Guisfredi, as he shares his journey from divorce and despair to writing two books and building a sustainable marriage grounded in self-awareness, commitment and trust. We talk about Victor's latest book 12 Rules of Marriage: A Blueprint for Sustainable Love. He shares real tools for what it means to sustain a long-lasting relationship. Visit victorgiusfredi.com to sign up for his newsletter and get his book! S...
Having trouble navigating your relationship and raising your kids? You're not alone. Raising kids is one of the greatest joys and one of the biggest stress tests any couple can face. I know firsthand. I'm a Dad to a daughter and a son. In this episode, I share Harry & Sally''s story and how they navigated their parenting trap. You’ll also get practical, evidence-based strategies you can use this week to get out of your parenting trap and make your relationship stronger with your par...
A question that often haunts us in relationship is: should I stay and fight for this relationship, or is it time to leave? In this episode, I offer a clear, doable framework you can use today—five grounded options that honor both love and self-respect. I share what research says and stories of how others have navigated this question. If you’re tired of this question spinning around in your head then listen, take what fits, and choose with intention, courage, and compassion the best opti...
Can long-distance relationships really work? For some yes — for others no. So how do you tell the difference, and what actually keeps a distant relationship alive? In this episode, I explore the distance dilemma with real stories, grounded research, and coaching strategies that can help you build emotional closeness when you can’t share a couch or a quiet walk. You'll hear the story of “Will and Liz" and how their transatlantic relationship turned out. If you’re in a long distance...
If you're in a long term relationship, chances are you or your partner are going to face some sort of health challenge or experience bodily changes. In this episode, I explore how to support your partner through those health challenges and changes without losing your connection—or yourself. I share my experience of supporting my wife's health challenges and a powerful story of a couple navigating breast cancer. Along the way, I break down the practical skills that turn vows into daily p...
Ever caught yourself saying "I'm fine" when you're anything but? This habit might be sabotaging your relationship and your health more than you realize. From childhood, men learn that strength means silence. We're taught to "toughen up" and "shake it off," creating a pattern where emotional suppression becomes our default setting. Through my own journey and my work coaching men in relationships, I've witnessed the profound transformation that happens when we break the "I'm fine" ...
Ever found yourself choosing between watching the game and spending quality time with your partner? You're not alone. In this episode, I explore how sports obsession can impact relationships and show the delicate balance between the passion of sports and relationship. I tell the story of Keith and Nicole, and how Keith's obsession with sports strained their relationship to the breaking point. Keith's journey shows something many men experience but few discuss openly – how sports can se...
Ever wondered how your pets might be strengthening your relationship? In this episode, I share my personal journey with our cats Lily and Kiki. With what began as simply "getting pets" evolved into creating new opportunities for connection, shared joy, and deeper intimacy in my marriage. Through the story of empty nesters "George and Amal," I share how a dog brought renewed purpose and connection to their marriage after navigating a major transition in their lives. I explore the s...
The wounds we carry from our past don't just disappear when we enter relationships—they shape how we love, communicate, and show up for our partners. What makes a healed man different from a broken one isn't that he is without wounds, but how he responds to them. In this episode, I explore how unresolved trauma creates patterns that repeat themselves in our closest connections and what you can do to be a healed man in your relationship. Check out The Healed Man's Journey: How Healing Yo...
Have you ever thrown yourself into work, telling yourself you're being a good provider, while secretly avoiding the messy, vulnerable parts of your relationship? You're not alone. This Labor Day episode explores the uncomfortable truth many men face but rarely talk about: the affair with work. I share my own experience where I once used work to get what I wasn't finding at home. My ex-wife called it exactly what it was: an affair with my business. Through the story of Desi and Lucy, I share ...
The shadow of our past often follows us into new relationships. Whether your partner brings children from another relationship, financial struggles, or emotional wounds into your life, being willing to say "I know your story, and I choose you anyway" makes all the difference. In this episode, I talk about how accepting your partner's history isn't about erasing what happened, but about moving forward together without letting the past define your future. I share the story of James and Ba...
Family tensions can negatively impact even the strongest relationships. When your partner's family disapproves, judges, or disrespects you, the strain affects not just your interactions with them, but the foundation of your relationship itself. I this episode I share the story of Jerry and Ann, a couple whose relationship was threatened when his conservative, religious family discovered that she put herself through law school as a stripper. You'll hear the their transformational story and ho...
Have you ever found yourself angry and losing your temper with your partner, only to regret it a few minutes later? Or maybe you're the type who stuffs your anger until you can't take it anymore? You're not alone, and there's a better way. Anger is not the problem. It's how we respond to makes the difference. Anger is a powerful signal that tells us that something really matters to us—but how we handle that signal can make or break our relationship. In this episode, I share Howard's st...
What happens when a clinical psychologist with a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt tackles the subject of childhood trauma? You get powerful, practical insights that bridge mind and body healing approaches. In this bonus episode, you'll hear my conversation with Dr. Ernest Ellender. He shares how he draws from both his professional expertise and personal journey to offer a refreshing perspective on breaking free from generational trauma patterns. His innovative approach of combining traum...
Throughout my coaching work with men in relationships, I've noticed a recurring pattern: the belief that being a good partner means always being available. I share Jason's story, where he abandoned his personal needs to be there for his wife only to see it backfire. The truth is healthy relationships thrive on a balance of togetherness and separateness. Research backs this up. Find out what you can do to claim your alone time for the benefit of your relationship. Check out the Your Spac...
Many men have been conditioned to believe that putting themselves last is what means to being a good partner. This type of conditioning could be sabotaging your connection and happiness. The truth is, (and research confirms this) that your personal well-being directly influences your relationship satisfaction. When you're exhausted, irritable, or disconnected from yourself, it's nearly impossible to show up fully for your partner. Self-care isn't selfish—it's the foundation that keeps love a...